Full time mommy

Today was my first day in a long time as a full-time mommy. Ryan left for work at a relatively normal time, and then Tessa and I stayed home together (getting a slow start) and then went to visit Linda & Lexi at their house, with Susie and Nina joining. I think I was pretty on top of things but I did accept when Linda offered lunch - I'm not a fool! :-) Thank you, Linda. Anyway, the ladies had fun chatting and the girls ran around having a blast together and (thankfully!) wearing each other out.

After our visit, Tessa and I came home and I got her ready for her nap, which, thankfully, she went down for. (She's missed a lot of naps lately, opting for quiet time instead. Quiet time is not quiet, although it is independent play in her room.)

I got a couple of hours to myself, which I used to rest, and not do chores, as I realized that otherwise I'd throw myself out of commission, which was not an option today.

Then, I woke Tessa up at 4:15 so that we could go to the hospital together so that I could get my Neulasta shot. Tessa was an angel - she had her snack in the car and chatted with me, and was a perfect companion for the drive and the wait in the hospital, and then for the shot itself. While waiting for my name to be called, we watched the beautiful tropical fish and had the good fortune (from Tessa's point of view) to see feeding time. Tessa spent time naming the fish (Fred, Stripey, Oskar, and others) and talking to them, and she was her sweetest, most inquisitive self. We were called in, and I set Tessa up in the chair beside me with her books to entertain her. She never opened the books, instead chatting with the nurse helping us and with another nurse who came by just to talk to Tessa. I got my shot - and Tessa was very brave, following her mother's modeling (really, it's just a quick sting, not bad at all), and then we left for home.

On the way home, Tessa said, "Mommy, don't forget to stop at the drugstore!" She's such a little smarty-pants....indeed, I would have forgotten to pick up (sorry for the overshare here) stool softeners, which I was out of, and which are an integral part of my survival these days. So we stopped, and Tessa charmed the sales clerks all the more, and then we came home.

I heated turkey pot pies (not our favorite but at about the level of energy I had today) for dinner, with a side of peas and some fresh fruit, and Tessa and I dined alone because Ryan was working late. Ryan got home around 7:30 to the delight of both wife and daughter, and we chatted with him as he had his dinner (wisely, he elected for a ploughman's platter of Dubliner cheese, bread, salami, smoked salmon, insalata caprese with tomatoes from our garden, and grapes....a much better choice than mine!). Then he gave Tessa her bath and tucked her in, and here I am on the computer for a moment before going to bed.

All that rambling, with nothing real to report.

The biggest thing on my mind right now is my chemo brain. Really, I feel impaired. YUCK. I mix up my words and I'm forgetful and full of faux pas. I will recover but it's very unsettling.

In my thoughts today are my many pregnant friends. Natasha, Krystal, Shannon, and Lynn are all due this month, with Lynn due any second and Natasha next in line. Heather has been struggling with morning sickness, as has Susie, and I hope that their struggles are at the end and so they can move into the fun second trimester with no problems. Lucky Linda appears to be doing well in her pregnancy - you go girl! It's not comfortable to be in the heat (the last two days have been a bit cooler, which is actually a nice reprieve) and I remember how desperate I was to meet my baby in the last few days of the pregnancy...anyway, ladies, I wish you and your families all the best. In the sea of chaos and hospitals that is my life, the blessings that these little ones bring seem doublefold. I am very much looking forward to holding these new lives in my arms, and crying tears of joy over their perfection and beauty.

With love to all,
Kristina