Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Exhausted and sad

I don't know if it's because I was gone from home for so long and I'm so far behind, or if it's all of the changes and stresses in our lives catching up to me, but I'm feeling really overwhelmed and pessimistic right now.

I want to be an optimist. I'm trying to use the language of optimism on myself. I'm trying to meditate. I'm trying to take action to fix those things that seem broken, in my home, myself, my relationships.

I'm just exhausted and I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.


I'll get over it. I always do, don't I? I'm faking it pretty well. But at the end of the day, I just feel sad.

Back to the therapist.

Monday, August 25, 2008

...and home AGAIN!

So Tessa, Ryan and I got home from the coast late Friday. We spent Saturday at home (I don't even know how many loads of laundry I did) and had our wonderful neighbors Sarah & Steven over for dinner and catch-up in the evening. Then, at 11am on Sunday, Tessa and I were out the door again, this time for a night with the Landahls at the Grand Wolf Lodge. The Lodge is a water park with slides, pools, and more activities than I could possibly name, with themed rooms (ours was a cabin; the kids had a "real" cabin in the middle of the room to sleep in, with painted murals and bunk beds). We had so much fun with Susan, Jackson, and Carter....but I haven't been away from home for this long in YEARS and I am really glad to be back.

The house needs a good scrub (when Susan dropped us off tonight and came in for take-out dinner, her d0g allergies kicked in big time), the laundry isn't all done, and I have more projects awaiting me than I can count.

Tonight I hope to sleep well, and long.


PS At least a dozen messages on my machine and countless emails - I am so far behind I don't know how to catch up but tomorrow I'll try. I haven't even heard my voicemail yet.