Thursday, November 13, 2008

A mother's day

Just a day as a mom.

I breakfasted with Tessa, packed her lunch, and drove her to Pascal's house to pick him up for our carpool. We went to school together, and while Ms. Coghill got the students ready for the day with their morning routines, I sharpened several hundred pencil crayons. (Really. This is exactly as exciting as it sounds.) Then, time for reading groups - two groups of squirrely, excitable little kids struggling to figure out if "hat" and "map" are rhymes, and if "hand" and "lamb" rhyme, and whether the picture is of a fan, fat, or can.

Leaving school, I saw a little girl come in from recess and land flat on her face - ouch! - on the pavement. I ran to her, scooped her up, checked in with her teacher, and carried her (she was small) to the nurse's office, where we wiped her up, put an icepack on her forehead, and I talked to her as she calmed herself.

Then, home, via PCC to pick up milk, maple syrup, and a few other essentials.

Now, cleaning up breakfast dishes, trying to ignore the mountain of laundry calling me to be folded, and prepping the basket of books to return to the library.

Pick up at 3:15, then straight to Jessie's birthday party. Come home from the birthday, make dinner.

It's a mother's life, and it just sounds so bland and flat when I write it like that. There are moments, certainly, when I think that the tedium will overcome me, and I long to stretch my mind or to focus on my own selfish desires....but still, it is worth it.

Today Tessa will told me who argued on the playground, and who told a funny joke, and what she did that made her proud. And I will know her school friends in the stories from my visits, and this will warm my heart.

And I will find an hour to work on the book, and maybe to even sit on the couch and sip coffee for a moment.

It's not always exciting, but it's my life, and I've fought hard for it. There is happiness.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Today I "bumped into" an online calculator for life expectancy for breast cancer patients.

I plugged in my data.

It made me, literally, feel sick. The data went out 15 years, and it wasn't pretty. Not pretty at all.

Ugly, actually. Very, very ugly.

I am fighting back the tears and remembering that I am not a statistic. And I'm remembering that it didn't account for Herceptin, or my radiation, or my prophylactic mastectomy and oopharectomy.

I'm trying not to remember my multi-focal disease....four tumors in all (three of IDC: 2.1, 1.5, and .2 cm; one DCIS tumor of 10cm).

I'm trying to remember that my positive node was "barely" positive.

I'm trying to remember that new treatments come out all the time. I haven't even started the Zometa yet because I haven't been able to bring myself to do it.

I need ot work on the Hunts Point Book now. This is so very depressing that it weighs on me like a bus would. Hard to breathe.

Quiet morning

Today was Tessa's day to carpool with Audrey and Pascal, so I haven't even left the house.


It's a day to work on the Hunts Point book; I need to get moving on that. It'll feel good to make some progress.

Tessa went to the doctor yesterday for some various aches and pains that wouldn't go away. I had hesitated to take her, as she appeared healthy to me, but she'd been complaining for some time and actually asked to go to the doc. Since I want to respect her, and trust her about her body, I went. The diagnosis? Growing pains.

And speaking of growing: Tessa is in the 35th percentile for weight, and 53rd for height.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bargain hunting

I got two pairs of jeans, a pair of tan cords, five sweaters, a hat, and a scarf, for under $30 today. They were all consignment, and they were STEALS. One sweater is 100% cashmere, and neither pair of jeans (Gap and Banana Republic brands) appears to have ever been worn.

Yeah me.

My winter wardrobe was in a sorry state and I was running out of just basic stuff to wear each day, so this will energize me significantly. My jeans were just faded and looking nasty, and I needed something more substantial than t-shirts, which is what I've been wearing non-stop. And my favorite Old Navy sweater is faded and looks terrible - definitely seen better days and time to disappear.

The hat and scarf are for Tessa. But I'm just thrilled to have what feels like a whole new "everyday" wardrobe. (My special occassion stuff is good to go - I have dresses, heels,'s the everyday stuff I needed.)

Ryan is working a zillion hours each week right now, and Tessa and I miss him. Hopefully things will ease up SOON because this is getting crazy!

Monday, November 10, 2008


Okay, this is pretty funny as a concept, but it's also remarkably interesting.

You take a quiz with 20 questions, and then it tells you what faith/religion most closely suits your viewpoints; there are 26 religions to chose from on their list.

Try it - and I'm VERY interested to learn what it says, so if you'd like to share, I'm interested.

I was a little concerned that I wouldn't get a good UU score - what would that mean? - but I needn't have worried. 100% UU here.

Here are my top ten:
Your Results
The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.
Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.
How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
Unitarian Universalism (100%)
Liberal Quakers (95%)
Neo-Pagan (88%)
New Age (83%)
Mahayana Buddhism (82%)
Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (81%)
Secular Humanism (80%)
Taoism (79%)
Theravada Buddhism (70%)
New Thought (69%)

The Monday Scramble

The house is a mess, the laundry needs folding, a book needs writing, food needs planning....and it's Monday morning.

Tessa is at school today, and Shep and I went for a lovely walk on Alki, so the day started "right." Now, I'm trying to keep momentum and go.....