Saturday, February 09, 2008

Triple sick

1. Detergent allergy.
...morphed into...
2. Upper respiratory bug (minor cold with post-nasal drip, sniffles, irritated throat with small cough)
...and now added...
3. Bug with throwing up and fever.

This morning Tessa was at 100.6. We gave her Motrin and her fever seemed to come down and her energy came up. We showed up for our 2:50 doctor's appt and Tessa christened the bushes (yuck) outside the lobby...thank goodness we made it back outside. In the doctor's office, her fever was 101.8 or something like that.

Apparently the vomiting lasts about a day in most kids; the fever lasts about 3 days. The vomiting is usually followed by diarrhea for a couple of days.

This is not improving my mood, needless to say. Fortunately, my mama instincts are strong, and I can put aside my own grumpiness for the sake of my daughter.

Ryan leaves at 6am tomorrow for the airport, returning late Wednesday night. (Business trip.)

Let's hope I don't get this. Let's hope Ryan doesn't get it on his trip. Let's hope I don't totally lose my mind dealing with it.

And our apologies to Anna, Kelton & Camille. According to the doc, Tessa was probably contagious starting yesterday, and Beth & Heather took care of Tessa at various times yesterday.

Please wish me luck with all of this...

Health updates

I'm still plodding along. I'm doing all of the "right" things to get my head in shape, and I'm paying close attention to my symptoms etc. I'll get through it.

Tessa has developed an illness. This morning she awoke with a fever (100.6, but I'm more concerned about symptoms for a week leading up to this). We have a doctor's appointment at 2:40 today at the children's clinic in West Seattle.

My mom is hanging in there, and discovering how tedious and difficult bedrest can be.

Ryan leaves for a business trip tomorrow, returning late Wednesday.

We will miss Nina's birthday party today. Happy birthday, Nina.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Another day

I am slogging through it. I will get through it, but the path doesn't seem very clear. Ugh!

I took the old (smaller) dosage of Lexapro last night. The therapist pointed to some studies that show higher doses cause racing thoughts, etc. in some patients, particularly younger patients (teenagers). I'm no teenager but there is a correlation to my increased dosage and my crazy thoughts.

I just want to get past this. I want to be my usual, happy self. NOW. I don't even know myself when I feel like this.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Meds gone wrong

For some people, anti-depressants have an opposite effect.

I spoke on the phone to my therapist, and she fears that this may be happening to me. I'm cutting my dosage in half to see if this helps. Counterintuitive, perhaps, but I'm game for almost anything.


My mood is bleak. If I snap at you, I apologize in advance. I'm trying to get in to my therapist to figure out what's going on: is it meds gone wrong, or I have I finally gone crazy?

My mom is coming home from the hospital today. Love you, Mom.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


I feel depression sweeping over me.


It's scary. It's strange. I can intellectualize it, but I can not seem to overcome it.

I doubled my Lexapro dosage last week, and I'm hoping it helps. But I don't like this one bit.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Mom's okay!

We spent the evening with my parents. We were able to see my mom as she was being wheeled out of recovery, and we spent a couple of hours with her.

My mom looks fabulous. It was hard to believe that she had just been on an operating room table for a couple of hours! We had a nice chat. :-)

I love you, Mom. I'm there for you - see you tomorrow!

New Culprit: Laundry Detergent

News update on Tessa's "dust allergy."

The stuffed animals were NOT the culprit!

At gymnastics today, as I got Tessa into her outfit, I noticed red bumps on her belly, and realized that she had hives. She said that they itched, and I couldn't figure it out...

Until I realized. The other change was laundry detergent! We switched brands (temporarily, I promise!) and Tessa is having a reaction.

Last night, Tessa was wearing some warm, fleecy PJs, and in the middle of the night Ryan switched her into some lighter cotton ones because she was pulling at her PJs and Ryan thought she might be hot. After that, Tessa slept much better. The cotton PJs hadn't been washed in the new detergent, but the others had.

When I thought that the problem was dust, I washed Tessa's favorite stuffed the new detergent. After gymnastics, I handed her a (slightly damp) Bear so that she could possibly start sleeping in the car. Her reaction? Instant coughing and a sneeze or two.

I have no doubt that it's the detergent. It's amazing to me that it can cause such a reaction!

Tonight we stopped at Trader Joe's to get new detergent. Our usual TJs detergent wasn't available....let's hope that the liquid version is the same chemical content as our usual powder, because I don't want to go through this again.

Needless to say, I'm sick of laundry. I've washed Tessa's sheets and stuffed animals twice today, and now need to go through her closet and re-wash things...

Prayers for Mom

In about an hour, my mom will be admitted to the hospital to have a knee replacement surgery. We will be praying that the surgery goes well, that her pain is manageable....and that this is the solution to resolve her knee problems and get her up and going in her "usual" self.

Mom, I love you. We are looking forward to supporting you. We are there for you!

My mother has waited for me to do countless surgeries (okay, 11 - 3 sinus ones in my teens and early twenties; 8 breast cancer related ones recently). She has prayed for me, stood by me, taken care of me. Now, it's my turn to care for her. I'm looking through cookbooks for perfect meals to bring, making cards with Tessa, and getting ready to mother my mother.

It is with gratitude in my heart that I do this. I am so lucky to have my mom, and to have her support. I'm glad to show her with my actions how I feel about her.

Please include my mom in your prayers, and throw in some prayers for my dad, too, as he's understandably concerned for his beloved wife.

Ah HA!

Two nights ago, Tessa coughed through the night....a light, dry cough, but it lasted all night. We thought "uh oh" and canceled all activities....and she seemed fine all day yesterday, so we thought we'd over-reacted.

Last night, Tessa coughed more violently ALL night. She cried, tossed and turned, and we brought her into our bed to monitor her and comfort her. It was a rough night for the whole family, and I started to be very concerned about poor Tessa.

Then, this morning, she's her chipper self. (Four cups of coffee, and I'm still not fully awake, but that's another story.)

I called the nurses' line at the clinic, totally confused by this turn of events.

The nurse asked all the usual questions: Fever? No. Croup/barking cough? No. Pain? No, only in the throat from coughing.

Then, the new question: Anything new in her room? Any new possible dust source? Ummmm, no. Any new stuffed animals?

YES! We got a couple of hand-me-down darling stuffed animals from a friend who had outgrown them, and she loves them, and started sleeping with them. BINGO! That's it!

Phew. What a relief. All of said stuffed animals are being washed, along with Blanket and Bear, and all bedding. We hope for a quiet night tonight.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Quiet Sunday

Yesterday, at the end of the day, Tessa got unusually quiet, complained of achiness and an earache, and fell asleep before dinner as she sat on my lap. Uh-oh - a sleepy girl is a sure sign of illness.

She coughed lightly through the night, and she's been sneezing. Another cold has arrived, it seems. We're keeping the tissue box close at hand.

She's in good spirits this morning, but we are having a quiet day. Ryan went to church because it was our turn to bring refreshments and one of us needed to be there; it made sense for Ryan to attend because he'll be on a business trip next week and will need to miss out. I'm always sad to miss the service, because I find it so calming, but there will be lots of opportunities to attend.

This morning I find myself humming hymns to myself, so it feels like I'm present at WSUU even though I'm here.

Tessa and I have been working on lettering and counting this morning, sitting at the kitchen table together. G.G. gave Tessa a great book with wipe-clean pages and markers, and Tessa has been practicing counting and writing her numbers. I'm glad that she is at last expressing an interest in counting - like her Mama she's much more interested in words than numbers, but there is room for balance.

A quiet day. Time for puzzles, stories, and maybe even an episode of Clifford.

Tonight I hope to attend the yoga class at the YMCA - that will be some good centering time.