Hello! I just wanted to include a note that tomorrow - my birthday, September 16! - is the last day to support Ryan on the Lance Armstrong LiveSTRONG Portland bike ride. Ryan has raised over $1600 thanks to the generousity of many of you already, and we are SO grateful for the work YOU are doing to fight cancer. Thank you!
If you have considered contributing, but haven't yet, please consider it now. You may donate to any cause at any time and we will support you - we're all fighting the good fight here - but if you wish to support Ryan on his ride, the deadline for online donations is end of day tomorrow.
Some of you have indicated that it is hard to log on to the website, and I am so sorry to hear it. When you click on the link (to the right in the box or the link below) it should take you to Ryan's personal page which has a "donate" button,
Support Ryan's LAF LiveSTRONG Portland Ride
but sometimes it isn't working. If it doesn't work, then you can follow these steps:
1. Click on the link
2. At the top of the page, click on the yellow "donate" button
3. Scroll down to the section that says "LiveSTRONG Portland Ride Donations" and click on "donate to a LiveSTRONG Portland rider"
4. This will prompt you for rider information. Enter ONLY Ryan's last name (Surface) and none of the other data, and hit "Search"
5. Scroll to the bottom and click on Ryan's name (he's the only Surface in the ride), and it will take you to the page.
It should not be this complicated, and I apologize - I'm not in charge of the technicalities of the website, so I have no idea why it's working easily for some and others have to use this work-around.
The ride is just over a week away, and Ryan has been training. I look forward to cheering him over the finish line - Tessa and I will be cheering loudly! We have several friends (Uncle Mike, Paul, Libby, Kent, Leah, and Darren) who are also doing the ride, and I'm so proud of these wonderful people for taking on this fabulous cause. And I'm so proud of YOU for your donations - thank you. Let's kick cancer's a**!
Live Strong!
Kristina
Thursday, September 15, 2005
A good day!
Well, I am VERY pleased to report that Tessa and I are having a good day. She has been doing well, with no digestive upsets, and is getting back on her regular diet (though I've refrained from giving her milk so far). I am also feeling more like myself, so we walked to the preschool (only 8 blocks away) to deliver the library books (I'm the class librarian) for the kids who start today; Tessa had a grand time in the jogging stroller and I got a little exercise. Then, we met Michele & Elliott at Starbucks and visited for a while before heading back home. On the way home we stopped at Salon Effekts and visited with Krista and made Tessa a hair appointment (it seems crazy to take Tessa to a "salon" but she likes it and it actually costs less than the kid places with the airplane seats etc...and like I said, I'm Krista's loyal customer for life after the kindness she has showed me!). Then, we came home, hopped in the car, and joined Michele, Dave, and Elliott at their home for lunch and a playdate. Now we're home and Tessa is avoiding napping....see, I told you she was feeling better!
When quiet time is over we will go to Costco. Just another normal day!
I'm not sure if I'll be online tomorrow because in the morning we'll go to preschool, then I'm meeting Heather for a birthday lunch (am I really 36?!), and then we're going to the east side to pick up Marisa, Max, and Ryan to go to Orcas. HOORAY! I can't wait. Forget about breast cancer - I have birthday cake to eat. ;-)
Love to all,
Kristina
When quiet time is over we will go to Costco. Just another normal day!
I'm not sure if I'll be online tomorrow because in the morning we'll go to preschool, then I'm meeting Heather for a birthday lunch (am I really 36?!), and then we're going to the east side to pick up Marisa, Max, and Ryan to go to Orcas. HOORAY! I can't wait. Forget about breast cancer - I have birthday cake to eat. ;-)
Love to all,
Kristina
Thursday morning - so far so good!
Well, Tessa slept through the night last night without incident, and this morning she woke up hungry. HURRAH! I made her oatmeal with some apples and a little bit of yogurt in it, and I'm hoping that was the right thing to do. We're not letting her drink milk just yet, as I'm still afraid of the consequences, but - fingers crossed here - this bug might be as short as the last one. Let's hope it's gone for good!
We will have a quiet day today, do some grocery shopping but stay close to home so that we can all be well, because I really want to go to Orcas for my birthday. I would be so sad to cancel, and I don't plan on canceling!
I hope that you have a great day. I feel SO much better now that I've slept, that Tessa's better, and of course I'm further away from my last treatment and that helps, too....
Love to all,
Kristina
We will have a quiet day today, do some grocery shopping but stay close to home so that we can all be well, because I really want to go to Orcas for my birthday. I would be so sad to cancel, and I don't plan on canceling!
I hope that you have a great day. I feel SO much better now that I've slept, that Tessa's better, and of course I'm further away from my last treatment and that helps, too....
Love to all,
Kristina
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
The end of a long day
As I type, Ryan is tucking Tessa into bed for the evening. Some time around 7pm, she started to act her normal self - sparkle in her eyes, more talkative, and she finally wanted some food. We gave her chicken rice soup, bread, and banana for dinner, and she was relatively uninterested, but I knew that she was going to be okay when she said, "Mommy, I would like some noodles please!" Thankfully, pasta is on the list of things I feel comfortable giving a child with an upset stomach, so I was grateful to oblige. (She has never even once asked me for noodles, and it's certainly not a dish we'd eat plain for dinner on a normal night, but she must have known what was best for her.) She ate about a 1/4 cup, which is an insubstantial amount for her usual appetite, but a massive improvement over the day's activities.
Her digestive system, overall, seems to be on the mend, and once again I have hope. And I hope that my hopes aren't dashed to the ground by morning!
Tonight my parents were going to have my birthday party at their house... sigh. My 36th birthday is not faring well so far. As long as we don't have to cancel going to Orcas this weekend I will survive...but be prepared for a major temper tantrum from me if I have to cancel THAT!
Amazing how a toddler's upset tummy can make even cancer take a back seat. Sure, I'm tired and bald, but that's nothing compared to having a sick child. I suppose that all the cliches about motherhood are true.
And with that...I'm off to bed. Good night!
Kristina
Her digestive system, overall, seems to be on the mend, and once again I have hope. And I hope that my hopes aren't dashed to the ground by morning!
Tonight my parents were going to have my birthday party at their house... sigh. My 36th birthday is not faring well so far. As long as we don't have to cancel going to Orcas this weekend I will survive...but be prepared for a major temper tantrum from me if I have to cancel THAT!
Amazing how a toddler's upset tummy can make even cancer take a back seat. Sure, I'm tired and bald, but that's nothing compared to having a sick child. I suppose that all the cliches about motherhood are true.
And with that...I'm off to bed. Good night!
Kristina
Help is on the way!
My mother just called, telling me that she is in the car, and coming to take care of Tessa.
Hallelujah. THANK YOU MOM! Today I need a break more than ever before, and I am so grateful.
Love,
K
PS For those who want to know...no more barf, but diarrhea has been added to the mix. Ack.......... Tessa is in pretty good spirits, but looks pretty pale, and just had her first bites to eat (toast and Gatorade - she hates Pedialyte). Let's hope they stay down! I know she's not well when she doesn't wake up and demand food immediately, as usually by 10am she's had two or three breakfasts. Literally!
Hallelujah. THANK YOU MOM! Today I need a break more than ever before, and I am so grateful.
Love,
K
PS For those who want to know...no more barf, but diarrhea has been added to the mix. Ack.......... Tessa is in pretty good spirits, but looks pretty pale, and just had her first bites to eat (toast and Gatorade - she hates Pedialyte). Let's hope they stay down! I know she's not well when she doesn't wake up and demand food immediately, as usually by 10am she's had two or three breakfasts. Literally!
Wahhhhhhh
This morning at about 5am, I heard Tessa "sneeze." Well, it wasn't a sneeze - this morning when I went to check on her she had thrown up again, and it was on her sheets and pillow. Ryan cleaned up around her and she is still sleeping now.
I'm so sad about this on any number of levels. Of course, I'm sorry for Tessa, who doesn't deserve to be sick. But this is also the day that my mom was going to take Tessa to give me some time to myself - my last day "off" before I do weekly chemo for 12 weeks. This was also my birthday dinner night (my actual birthday is Friday when we're supposed to go to Orcas) with my parents and some other family - my only actual birthday celebration this year. This was also the day that I was going to shop for my own birthday presents from Ryan and my parents (I want boots from Ryan, and a light fixture from my parents, and this is the one day I had to pick them out). I also still feel like crap, and the idea of another day like yesterday makes me want to sit on the floor and cry. I just don't have it in me to do another day where I feel that horrible but I have to be the caregiver, not receiving care.
I will do what I have to do because I have no choice. I will be a good mommy to Tessa, and I will wash loads of sheets and comforters, and I will comfort my little girl. I will send my husband to work so that he can be a provider for the family, and I'll figure it out. But it sucks.
Kristina
I'm so sad about this on any number of levels. Of course, I'm sorry for Tessa, who doesn't deserve to be sick. But this is also the day that my mom was going to take Tessa to give me some time to myself - my last day "off" before I do weekly chemo for 12 weeks. This was also my birthday dinner night (my actual birthday is Friday when we're supposed to go to Orcas) with my parents and some other family - my only actual birthday celebration this year. This was also the day that I was going to shop for my own birthday presents from Ryan and my parents (I want boots from Ryan, and a light fixture from my parents, and this is the one day I had to pick them out). I also still feel like crap, and the idea of another day like yesterday makes me want to sit on the floor and cry. I just don't have it in me to do another day where I feel that horrible but I have to be the caregiver, not receiving care.
I will do what I have to do because I have no choice. I will be a good mommy to Tessa, and I will wash loads of sheets and comforters, and I will comfort my little girl. I will send my husband to work so that he can be a provider for the family, and I'll figure it out. But it sucks.
Kristina
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Patting myself on the back
It's my blog, and so I'm going to pat myself on the back.
Today, I am incredibly proud of myself not only for surviving through feeling horrible (I think this may be my worst day yet...sigh), but for being an active mother. I made it to PEPS, made brownies with Tessa, went to the library (and Tessa got her first library card - she doesn't want to use mine now!), ran laundry and the dishes, took Tessa on a tricycle ride around the block, and in a few minutes we'll sit down to corn, winter squash, and ribs from dinner with Ryan. I even sat on the floor and showed Tessa how to shuck the corn - which she loved - despite the mess and the fact that I wanted to crawl into a hole, not give lessons to a persistant two year old.
So I'm patting myself on the back. Each of these things by themselves are dull and uninteresting, certainly unworthy of comment, but today I feel like such crap that they are major accomplishments.
After dinner, I'm going to bed!
Kristina
Today, I am incredibly proud of myself not only for surviving through feeling horrible (I think this may be my worst day yet...sigh), but for being an active mother. I made it to PEPS, made brownies with Tessa, went to the library (and Tessa got her first library card - she doesn't want to use mine now!), ran laundry and the dishes, took Tessa on a tricycle ride around the block, and in a few minutes we'll sit down to corn, winter squash, and ribs from dinner with Ryan. I even sat on the floor and showed Tessa how to shuck the corn - which she loved - despite the mess and the fact that I wanted to crawl into a hole, not give lessons to a persistant two year old.
So I'm patting myself on the back. Each of these things by themselves are dull and uninteresting, certainly unworthy of comment, but today I feel like such crap that they are major accomplishments.
After dinner, I'm going to bed!
Kristina
No nap
Well, I tried. I even laid in Tessa's bed and rubbed her back for some time, and she didn't sleep. Finally I went to my own bed and she had some quiet time and I confess that I napped a few minutes...I'm just THAT tired.
Oh well. It will be early to bed for me tonight for certain!
K
Oh well. It will be early to bed for me tonight for certain!
K
Nap time...please!
This morning we went to Natasha's for PEPS and had a good visit. We swung by the grocery store for a couple "can't live without 'em" items, came home, and had lunch. Now I'm trying to summon up the energy to get Tessa ready for her nap.
Today I'm wiped out; I'm not sure why. My eyes ache, my skin aches, my head aches with fatigue. I'm grateful that it's not like this every day, and I'm grateful that I have another week before I do chemo again. I pray that today Tessa DOES take a nap or I fear I will have a total meltdown, because I am THAT tired.
Sigh.
Kristina
Today I'm wiped out; I'm not sure why. My eyes ache, my skin aches, my head aches with fatigue. I'm grateful that it's not like this every day, and I'm grateful that I have another week before I do chemo again. I pray that today Tessa DOES take a nap or I fear I will have a total meltdown, because I am THAT tired.
Sigh.
Kristina
A Regular Tuesday
Good morning. I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday - "real life" was too busy to be on the computer much at all, and Tessa didn't nap.
Yesterday morning Tessa and I did art projects together (primarily involving rubber stamps), then Kathleen and Elena came over for a play date and lunch; after the "non-nap" we had a string of visitors, including Michele & Elliott, then Deirdre and Jessica, and then Susie & Nina. This was excellent as my energy levels were low and play dates do not require excess energy...the kids run around and the parents chat, and this was perfect for me.
We enjoyed Deirdre's great dinner together when Ryan got home, and then I left for the YSC meeting while Ryan stayed home with Tessa.
More thoughts on survivor meetings later - I'm too sleepy now, but I will return to the subject.
I did not sleep well last night and now I'm a sleepy person - albeit sleepless - this morning, but this is the way of things. We have a regular day planned today, as we will go to PEPS this morning at Natasha's, and then this afternoon we'll try to get books at the library (I am the class librarian at co-op, which starts for some kids on Thursday).
Today Erik has his hand surgery - Erik, I send you wishes of healing and quick recovery.
Love to all,
Kristina
Yesterday morning Tessa and I did art projects together (primarily involving rubber stamps), then Kathleen and Elena came over for a play date and lunch; after the "non-nap" we had a string of visitors, including Michele & Elliott, then Deirdre and Jessica, and then Susie & Nina. This was excellent as my energy levels were low and play dates do not require excess energy...the kids run around and the parents chat, and this was perfect for me.
We enjoyed Deirdre's great dinner together when Ryan got home, and then I left for the YSC meeting while Ryan stayed home with Tessa.
More thoughts on survivor meetings later - I'm too sleepy now, but I will return to the subject.
I did not sleep well last night and now I'm a sleepy person - albeit sleepless - this morning, but this is the way of things. We have a regular day planned today, as we will go to PEPS this morning at Natasha's, and then this afternoon we'll try to get books at the library (I am the class librarian at co-op, which starts for some kids on Thursday).
Today Erik has his hand surgery - Erik, I send you wishes of healing and quick recovery.
Love to all,
Kristina
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Things to look forward to
I have a list of things that are motivating me right now:
- preschool's start this week (Friday morning) - Tessa is so excited and her excitement rubs off on me
- Orcas Island for my birthday (leave Friday afternoon, return Sunday) with Marisa
- the LAF ride in Portland (two nights in Portland, with friends and family, staying at a hotel)
- the trip to Leavenworth/Brunner's Lodge with my entire Dahl family
- Halloween and all about it - Tessa is going to be a tiger, and we'll traipse through the neighborhood. Last year we created a tradition of trading the candy for a special toy, and we'll keep that up this year (Ryan will bring the excess candy to work, I think). We'll have a potluck dinner with a couple of neighbors before Halloween truly starts, to make it more fun.
- Pumpkin patches! We love to visit them, and there are some good ones locally.
- Susan McM's visit from Boston (and time spent with Gretchen together)
- Thoughts of Thanksgiving at my parents' (they usually go out of town but htis year I've talked them into hosting so I don't have to!)
- The Nutcracker with Tessa & Ryan - Tessa's eyes will be so wide at the beautiful costumes and exciting story, and she's completely "into" ballet...it will be wonderful! (Plus I can't wait to see her in her patent leather shoes and Christmas dress...)
- December 7 - not only Pearl Harbor Day, it's my last chemo day!
- All the hubbub of Christmas - we're hosting this year at our house.
There are more things after these, of course, but I am focusing on the short term fantasies - it's hard to stay motivated for trips that will occur in 5 years, but I can think a few weeks out and feel inspired. :-)
This is neither here nor there, but I'm tired today and it helps me to focus on the wonderful things that are ahead. I will not always be this tired and worn out, and there is lots of optimism for the future, so I'm focusing on that.
Happy thoughts!
Kristina
- preschool's start this week (Friday morning) - Tessa is so excited and her excitement rubs off on me
- Orcas Island for my birthday (leave Friday afternoon, return Sunday) with Marisa
- the LAF ride in Portland (two nights in Portland, with friends and family, staying at a hotel)
- the trip to Leavenworth/Brunner's Lodge with my entire Dahl family
- Halloween and all about it - Tessa is going to be a tiger, and we'll traipse through the neighborhood. Last year we created a tradition of trading the candy for a special toy, and we'll keep that up this year (Ryan will bring the excess candy to work, I think). We'll have a potluck dinner with a couple of neighbors before Halloween truly starts, to make it more fun.
- Pumpkin patches! We love to visit them, and there are some good ones locally.
- Susan McM's visit from Boston (and time spent with Gretchen together)
- Thoughts of Thanksgiving at my parents' (they usually go out of town but htis year I've talked them into hosting so I don't have to!)
- The Nutcracker with Tessa & Ryan - Tessa's eyes will be so wide at the beautiful costumes and exciting story, and she's completely "into" ballet...it will be wonderful! (Plus I can't wait to see her in her patent leather shoes and Christmas dress...)
- December 7 - not only Pearl Harbor Day, it's my last chemo day!
- All the hubbub of Christmas - we're hosting this year at our house.
There are more things after these, of course, but I am focusing on the short term fantasies - it's hard to stay motivated for trips that will occur in 5 years, but I can think a few weeks out and feel inspired. :-)
This is neither here nor there, but I'm tired today and it helps me to focus on the wonderful things that are ahead. I will not always be this tired and worn out, and there is lots of optimism for the future, so I'm focusing on that.
Happy thoughts!
Kristina
Sunday and refreshed
Good morning!
This Sunday morning, Tessa is still sleeping, Ryan is off on a bike ride with Libby & Kent (poor Paul and his shoulder have to stay out of the race this month), and I'm just briefly checking in to say hello. Going to bed around the same time Tessa did is just what I needed, and I've awoken feeling much better than I did last night. Since Tessa is doing well (no barf last night!) when we're all up and going we will be heading to the Landahl's to have a playdate - Susan and I will chat while the kids play, and it will be lovely. (Erik is hiking, and Ryan is biking, so the girls will have girl-talk while the kids burn off steam.)
It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do - I feel really good again. Phew! Poison, be gone!
I hope that you are having a great day, and that the day finds you and yours in excellent health. Please send safe-riding vibes or prayers to the bike crew - I need my hubby in one piece, happy and whole!
With love,
Kristina
This Sunday morning, Tessa is still sleeping, Ryan is off on a bike ride with Libby & Kent (poor Paul and his shoulder have to stay out of the race this month), and I'm just briefly checking in to say hello. Going to bed around the same time Tessa did is just what I needed, and I've awoken feeling much better than I did last night. Since Tessa is doing well (no barf last night!) when we're all up and going we will be heading to the Landahl's to have a playdate - Susan and I will chat while the kids play, and it will be lovely. (Erik is hiking, and Ryan is biking, so the girls will have girl-talk while the kids burn off steam.)
It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do - I feel really good again. Phew! Poison, be gone!
I hope that you are having a great day, and that the day finds you and yours in excellent health. Please send safe-riding vibes or prayers to the bike crew - I need my hubby in one piece, happy and whole!
With love,
Kristina
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