Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Love of family

It's no secret that I love my family - anybody who has read more than two of my posts should have it figured out by now. My family is my number one concern, and I'd place the happiness of my family as a whole (of course, I'm including myself in the term "family") over my happiness of myself as an individual. I've tried it both ways, but when I'm putting family second I feel regret, remorse, guilt and it's just not worth it to me.

This weekend, I thought I was putting family first by sending Ryan solo to spend a day celebrating his parents' anniversary in Portland, believing that it would give Ryan some 1:1 time with his brother on the way down, and that Tessa needed to have a quiet weekend, and that everybody would come out just fine. I have a new perspective this morning, however.

Last night we received the information that Ryan's dad had been admitted to the hospital to check out some internal bleeding.

A whole new perspective.

I'm packing up our family, and we'll head to Portland together this weekend. Tessa needs to give her Bopa a hug. Ryan needs me at his side, offering him support, so that he can support his parents. We ALL need to celebrate the anniversary, whether it's in a hospital or in a resturant (as originally planned). Family first.

We'd planned on being home together on Sunday to attend church, but I think that church would want us to be with our family. We can listen to the podcast of the service, and we're involved in other church activities through the week, so we're still getting the community aspects.

Mom & Dad S., I send you my love and wishes for healing. As Jaki (who knows from personal experience) says, "Aging isn't for sissies!" I hope and pray that Dad will be returned to good health immediately. We can't wait to see you this weekend. We love you, and we love being part of your family.

PS This puts my surgery postponement into some perspective. I'm still not happy about it, and I'm still dealing with it, but I'm managing it.

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