A new week

I am actually quite glad to have a new week after my rough ending to last week.

This morning Tessa went to her first soccer class of the season, so I am (once again) officially a soccer mom. I sat on my camp chair with a fleece blanket around me (wearing Gore-tex and a hat, no less) sipping my coffee to stay warm, but Tessa ran around so much she needed a drink "to wear the sweat off!" as she so eloquently put it. This year she's spending more time chasing the ball than picking up flowers and sticks, so that already is a major success. (We had a good talk about "let's pick daisies afterwards so that you can focus on soccer during the class.")

Today I hope to do a deep(er) cleaning of the house and get caught up on some chores, and perhaps have Zoe over for Tessa's entertainment. A quiet day, which feels good in the stormy weather.

My mental state of being is better than it was last week. I can't say I've moved into the "acceptance" phase for real but I *am* working on it. At church, during the sharing of joys and sorrows, I didn't share anything, but found myself sobbing quietly....I do feel the sorrow of things sometimes. But crying helped, and so did Heather's tissue, quietly passed over with a sympathetic look; so did Ryan's arms, which wrapped around me and held me close while I cried; and so did newborn Charlotte, handed to me by her mother Lauren after the service "because you look like you could use some baby love today."

Also, I fell off the wagon from WW on Friday evening and didn't really get back on until this morning. I weighed myself and I'm the same weight I was a week ago which would be disappointing except that I'm relieved that my weekend of pigishness didn't do any real damage.

Today is a new day. I'm trying to clean house metaphorically as I clean my physical space...I think it will work.