Thursday, February 05, 2009

Z day

Today I'm returning to the oncology ward to visit Dr. Rinn for my regular check up, and to get a new drug, the bisphosphonate Zometa.

Zometa helps with osteoporosis (it's a bone-building drug) and has the added benefit of cutting risk of recurrence, including mets, by about one third. When that news came out, I knew Zometa would be my next line of defense.

But I have to go back to that building, the one with the sad memories. I have to give my arm to a needle, I have to sit in that familiar chair. It's not the kind of walk down memory lane that people dream of.

What's more, there is a relatively common side effect for the first couple of infusions; often people get "flu like symptoms" (that is how they are described) for 24-72 hours after the infusion. Blech. I have many plans this weekend, and the flu is not part of them.

I will need to do some serious meditation to get through this. Better than that, though, is that Lori is coming with me to distract me. She's a dear friend and she'll be of good help with that. I'm also having PT with Adrienne today (I'm being an obedient little patient and catching up with all of my overdue medical stuff - I even sat in the dentist's chair for several hours this week) and while the PT isn't as fun as I'd like (scar tissue blah blah blah) the visit with Adrienne is good for my soul.

So I'm trying to acknowledge the hard times, focus on the positive, and balance it all out. Today, that feels like quite a challenge.

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