Thursday, October 06, 2005

Taking a break

I have decided to take a break from blogging. I will update anything medical as it goes on so that anyone interested can check on my health, but I don't have the energy right now to share some of my more private thoughts.

Ryan's depression and my breast cancer's onset are too much to bear right now - the combination is more than I know how to handle gracefully. Ryan may need to leave his job, and the possibility of unemployment is more than I know what to do with, as our savings are almost non-existant. We will get by with the help of family, and we will look at liquidating assets (our house) as a possibility to keep us afloat; I will look at returning to work; Ryan will look for other employment. Ryan and I are not supporting one another well, and the tension in our house is so thick you can cut it with a knife. These things, combined with my ongoing treatment, make it hard for me to be the inspiring, optimistic person that I wish to be. I wish I could give more right now, but I can not. Ryan and I are seeking individual counseling, along with marriage counseling. We will get through this, one way or another.

That is all I can say on the subject. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I will regain my zest and optimism soon, but right now I need to take a break from sharing the details of my life.

Thank you for understanding.
Kristina

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kristina -

Anonymous reader de-lurking just to say that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm very sorry that you are going through these trying times - it seems like more than any one family should have to endure.

me said...

do you have a p.o. box where us anonymous readers can send you stuff if we want to?

you're in my thoughts.

i wish you the best.

Rhonda said...

Kristina,

You know, you don't have to be optimistic and positive all the time. You and your family are going through a really rough time that is unimagineable to most. If you need to vent, do it. It doesn't have to be a public forum such as this, but it seems to me that journaling is cathartic for you. I consider you one amazing woman whether you are positive/optimistic or not. Personally, when I lurk, that's not what I'm looking for--it's what need does Kristina & her family have that I can pray for today. Major HUGS for you.

Rhonda (twinangel)

Anonymous said...

Kristina,
I'm glad that you are doing what you feel is right for you. You don't have to push yourself to share on the blog, or to be upbeat and optimistic all of the time--it is quite human to be stressed and depressed in the face of cancer. Some of us get that way over much more trivial matters! My family and I send our love and positive thoughts to you and yours.
Love,
Lynn Herink

Anonymous said...

Kristina, many prayers are being said for you every day.

Maegan (squid on ovusoft)

Anonymous said...

Another lurker here . . . I wish you the best as you concentrate your energy on you.

Anonymous said...

Kristina,

Still syaing prayers for you. Please do what's best for you, but remember I'm here for you. I don't ask anything of you, so please dont' feel like you have to be a certain way for any of your readers.

Much love to you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristina, I'm officially 'outing' myself as a regular reader of your blog. You are frequently in my thoughts and just want to let you know that you will continue to be while on your break. Much peace to you, your DH and Tessa.

Stacey (ace on ovusoft)

Anonymous said...

Kristina-

I'm so sorry your family is struggling right now. I'll keep you in my thoughts and look forward to "seeing" you again when you're ready.

P.S. I'm still running the Race for the Cure in your honor this weekend!

Lisa in Phoenix