Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Living in the moment

Okay, living in the moment, being present with life, feeling the power of "now," all of these things are worthy goals, and I am constantly trying to attain them.

But the problem is that the moment I'm in isn't the greatest, and I really just wish it would pass. I feel uncomfortable in my body, I feel muddled from oxycodone (I took one yesterday evening again...sigh), I just feel out of sorts.

I'm dreaming of a world in which I run marathons, write the Hunts Point book, volunteer in Tessa's classroom, have friends over to dinner, walk the dog, read interesting novels, write thank you cards, play with Tessa on the beach.

And instead I'm just here, at home, in my bathrobe, feeling muddled and saddened by the muddled feelings.


Is it a case of "rest and heal" or "get off your sorry a** and get on with it!"? I haven't got it figured out. I'm not used to this version of myself.

1 comment:

Krystal said...

This post reminded me of Psalms. He leads me beside still waters, He MAKES me lie down. Everyone needs a rest sometime and for some He has to MAKE them take a break. I know you'll use the time usefully even when you're at rest. But we are thinking and praying for you. Love, Dahl Jr. Family.