Much to think about

I haven't been posting here often because I am overwhelmed by trying to live my "real" and intended life, and I find myself running all over the place, very scattered, as I try to squeeze every drop out of living. It's an interesting dilemma: I am more determined than ever to live consciously, making all of my actions meaningful...but at the same time, I'm too busy living to find real balance or to sit back and reflect upon my experiences. I will get there, but not yet.

An update on my neighbor: she is a strong woman...would you believe that she actually brought us dinner this weekend (delicious Cajun BBQ pork)? She has a hard road ahead of her, and I hope to help her sometimes, and to be a shoulder for her to lean on... but I also have come to the realization that I can not immerse myself in her problems right now, because I simply do not have the energy to give. My strength comes from a deep well, but this is larger than I can handle, and I have backed off somewhat, and I'm not involved in her day-to-day treatment. I plan to call Mira soon, when I've caught my breath, but her diagnosis hit me harder than I would have imagined possible (after all, we don't know each other well) and I need to sort out my own head before I can help her further with hers.

I hate this disease.

In other ramblings...
I did my first 15+ mile training walk last weekend, and it went really well...I didn't even hurt the next day! Tomorrow I plan another, similarly distanced, walk, and I'm looking forward to it. The 3-Day is just weeks away (Aug. 25-27) and I'm really excited for it. I'm also going to be glad when it's over, because I've decided I'm not a walker...it's too inefficient for me! When I'm burning calories, I want to burn them faster. :-) I'm thinking of doing a 1/2 marathon next, but not as a fundraiser.

In fundraising/cancer awareness and prevention news, I'm pleased to say that my team has hit $22K in fundraising. HURRAH! Every dime helps. It might not help myself, Susan, Gretchen, Prema, Nicole, Jodi, Mira, or I....but it WILL help our daughters. I am convinced of this, and it drives me to keep working at it. To that end, Ryan and I intend to attend the Austin, TX Livestrong Summit in October, so that we can be trained as leaders and advocates for the cancer survivorship community. We must end this **** disease, and I mean business when I say that.

Tessa continues to delight me, and to amaze me with her "big girl" ways. She plays beautifully with other children, and is getting quite good at sharing and playing imaginatively with others. I love to watch her when she thinks I'm not around, to see how she interacts with another child, and to hear the stories they dream up together. These are good, good days.

Shep is a Wonderdog, and we're all more in love than ever. He follows me around, which amuses me, and he's getting our family out on walks (good boy!).

We are nearing the completion of a (for us) major house project: a new deck! As I type, my friend Kathleen and her friend Rob are putting up railings on our new deck, and I'm THRILLED with it, because I think it's beautiful. The rest of the summer will be spent enjoying it, and it should be around for MANY years to come. The old deck was rotten and ugly, and this new one, in addition to being safe (a major concern, and the driving factor in our replacement of the old deck) it's really pretty, and I'm a happy girl.

Love,
Kristina