Saturday, May 20, 2006

I want breasts.

Yesterday I shopped, briefly, for a couple of summer clothing items. I'd like a sundress that fits me, and so off I went.

All of the sundresses I liked had halter tops, spaghetti straps, strapless, or V-necks. All were impossible for a woman who has one weird, bumpy, off-to-one-side breast and one flat side. From the bottom of my rib-cage down, I thought they looked fabulous. Around my bosom, they looked terrible.

This breast business is really, truly, seriously getting old. I feel like I've done my time, and yet I'm still in jail. It's been nearly a year, and still, I have one breast, and it doesn't look that great (think Frankenstein). One day, I know, I'm going to have two relatively normal looking breasts, just scarred...but now, I have one lousy, misshapen, lumpy breast, and one very flat, burned, brown, scarred chest.

Losing all this weight, I have a desire to show off my new body. I'm a weight I haven't been since my mid-twenties, and I love it. I'm out of size 8, wearing size 6 all the time. And yet clothes shopping is still sometimes torturous, unless I want to advertise my mastectomy through the clothes I wear.

Grrrr.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds lousy. Did you find something in the end? When looking for dresses that I can still nurse in, I found some that have more coverage on top (with buttons in the front, usually) but made out of light weight cotton perfect for HOT Kelowna summers! Come shop here! - grin!

Love ya.

Corina

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean, I had 2 separate mastectomies a year apart 1992 & 1993 I was always a size 3. finding clothes has always been a nightmare. they finally started making half way decent bras. but when it comes to finding a tank top that doesn't cost a small arm and a leg. I can't afford to spend a fortune on clothes. I'm going crazy looking for a summer dress to wear to a graduation in June.