Today's WSUU sermon was lovely, and timely for me.
The children's story was about how to tell the truth - a child tells a lie to her mother and is punished, so she vows to tell the truth all the time. She starts to volunteer truth, some of which is not kind, and so the other children start to get angry and leave her out. As I listened, I thought, "is this the message I am meant to hear?" but the story continued. A neighbor says, "Isn't my garden perfect?" and the child hesitantly (remembering how the children reacted to her truth-telling) says, "Umm, it looks like a jungle." At first, the neighbor is upset. But the next day, the child comes by and the neighbor is working in her garden, and says, "You know, you were right, it had gotten pretty wild," and the neighbor and child happily work together to restore the garden.
The adult sermon was about right relations, and about "staying at the table" to have the difficult conversations. This, too, is about telling the truth in kind ways. But it is not about letting things smooth over, letting things that are troublesome slip by in an effort not to make waves. It is about being true to one's ideals, while leaving room to hear others' viewpoints. It is about honoring one's self, while being compassionate towards others. It is about openness.
The sermon posed the idea that when we just sit back, and remove our viewpoint from the conversation, we are being false, and ensuring that there is no depth to the relationship. The trick, it seems, is to remain true to one's own values while allowing others to remain true to their own DIFFERENT values, and to accept such differences.
The sermon also pointed out that this could lead to chaos, and usually does. Even when offered in the right spirit, with thoughtfulness and openness, stating one's differences can cause quite a reaction. The speaker (a guest reverend this week) stated that this is good, and perhaps even necessary, because through this chaos a new, deeper meaning can be found. She also acknowledged that new meaning was not always found,and that sometimes the chaos is the final result.
This is what I'm thinking about tonight. It's interesting, and comforting, and confusing (how does one know when to speak up, and in what way to speak up?) and I'm grateful for the oportunity to mull it over.
In thinking through speaking up for my own ideas, I think I need to ask myself:
- Am I being truthful AND kind?
- am I honoring myself and others by speaking up?
- am I willing to endure chaos?
- (and a subset of that one) in enduring chaos, can I stand tall and confident?
- is there a possibility for greater depth of relationship through the telling of such truths?
The trick, I see, is to be compassionate toward self and others at the same time.
I am so glad that I'm being given this information to think about. I appreciate the chance to work on the spiritual side of myself in a structured way, because without the structure I feel a little lost in wondering how to work it out and through.
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Countdown
24 hours from now I will be getting ready to go to the hospital.
Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat....repeat....repeat....
Today will be busy. This morning is PEPS at Heather's (which Tessa and I will both love), then while Tessa is at preschool I will go visit my beloved brilliant shrink, who will (hopefully) help me to whip my brain into shape for this surgery. (Or is it my heart she puts into shape? Hard to tell the difference, really.) I also need to dust, vacuum, grocery shop, and fold the last load of laundry. And one more coat of paint on the bathroom stuff.
I wasn't kidding when I said I'm nesting. It helps me so much to have things in place - it gives me the sense of order in a disorderly world. And I desperately want that sense of order.
The other thing we'll do today is celebrate Shep's 2nd birthday. We don't know exactly when his birthday is, but it's sometime around now, and he does seem a perfect April Fool. He is getting two new squeaky toys that he loves (the others will be retired to the trash - he chews them to bits), and as our tradition, he'll get a meat-cake. We make him a big hamburger, stick candles in it and Tessa will sing to him and blow out his candles before he gobbles the whole thing up as fast as he can.
And on another note....
I just got a call from someone at WSUU, promising hot meals, offering thoughts and prayers, and giving kindness. I am grateful to be a member of this community. More and more, it is becoming community to me, and not just a place I attend once a week. I have made a good decision in this regard, and I am grateful to have it in my life.
By next Sunday, I hope I'm well enough to go to services. Something to look forward to.
And on that note - off to PEPS.
Love,
Kristina
Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat....repeat....repeat....
Today will be busy. This morning is PEPS at Heather's (which Tessa and I will both love), then while Tessa is at preschool I will go visit my beloved brilliant shrink, who will (hopefully) help me to whip my brain into shape for this surgery. (Or is it my heart she puts into shape? Hard to tell the difference, really.) I also need to dust, vacuum, grocery shop, and fold the last load of laundry. And one more coat of paint on the bathroom stuff.
I wasn't kidding when I said I'm nesting. It helps me so much to have things in place - it gives me the sense of order in a disorderly world. And I desperately want that sense of order.
The other thing we'll do today is celebrate Shep's 2nd birthday. We don't know exactly when his birthday is, but it's sometime around now, and he does seem a perfect April Fool. He is getting two new squeaky toys that he loves (the others will be retired to the trash - he chews them to bits), and as our tradition, he'll get a meat-cake. We make him a big hamburger, stick candles in it and Tessa will sing to him and blow out his candles before he gobbles the whole thing up as fast as he can.
And on another note....
I just got a call from someone at WSUU, promising hot meals, offering thoughts and prayers, and giving kindness. I am grateful to be a member of this community. More and more, it is becoming community to me, and not just a place I attend once a week. I have made a good decision in this regard, and I am grateful to have it in my life.
By next Sunday, I hope I'm well enough to go to services. Something to look forward to.
And on that note - off to PEPS.
Love,
Kristina
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Joys and Sorrows
Today at church, during the brief sharing which preceeds the service, I shared my sorrows.
It felt good to say Cathy O'Brien's name out loud in a sacred space. Today one of the musical interludes was an Irish sounding soung on a guitar and a harmonica, and it somehow reminded me of her and felt fitting, like I'd been able to attend her funeral almost. I held her close to my heart and meditated on some of the words she's written on YSC and her impact upon me.
I shared Cathy's passing, and how sorrowed I am by it, with the congregation. As tears slipped out, I also said, "She was diagnosed two months before me, and though I'm healthy now, I'm so frightened that I might follow in her footsteps."
I also shared that I am dreading my upcoming surgery. Three years (almost) of fighting. I'm so tired of fighting. I want peace.
The congregation was kind. I was hugged, approached, smiled at. I was told that I would be held in thoughts, that I would be prayed for, that they would meditate on my healing. Different people spoke to me in different ways, all kind. This is a fellowship at its best.
It helps me to share. That's why I share so much here, too. It makes me feel less alone in my fight. Maybe my pain will lessen someone else's by making them feel less alone in their struggles, whatever they may be.
But then I came home and took an anti-anxiety pill, which is still not taking effect. I have an acid-reflux feeling in my belly that I'm certain is a fit of nerves. It took a lot out of me to speak today, to admit my fear out loud (harder than in writing, for me at least), to cry pubicly.
Sigh.
It felt good to say Cathy O'Brien's name out loud in a sacred space. Today one of the musical interludes was an Irish sounding soung on a guitar and a harmonica, and it somehow reminded me of her and felt fitting, like I'd been able to attend her funeral almost. I held her close to my heart and meditated on some of the words she's written on YSC and her impact upon me.
I shared Cathy's passing, and how sorrowed I am by it, with the congregation. As tears slipped out, I also said, "She was diagnosed two months before me, and though I'm healthy now, I'm so frightened that I might follow in her footsteps."
I also shared that I am dreading my upcoming surgery. Three years (almost) of fighting. I'm so tired of fighting. I want peace.
The congregation was kind. I was hugged, approached, smiled at. I was told that I would be held in thoughts, that I would be prayed for, that they would meditate on my healing. Different people spoke to me in different ways, all kind. This is a fellowship at its best.
It helps me to share. That's why I share so much here, too. It makes me feel less alone in my fight. Maybe my pain will lessen someone else's by making them feel less alone in their struggles, whatever they may be.
But then I came home and took an anti-anxiety pill, which is still not taking effect. I have an acid-reflux feeling in my belly that I'm certain is a fit of nerves. It took a lot out of me to speak today, to admit my fear out loud (harder than in writing, for me at least), to cry pubicly.
Sigh.
A new day
The traditional day of rest.
This morning Tessa is snuffly with allergies and Ryan awoke with a migraine. Tessa's slow to get up but will be fine; Ryan took Immitrex and hopefully he'll be fine in an hour or two. I'm still reeling from the news of Cathy but I am prepared to make it a new day.
We also got excellent news yesterday. Tessa will be attending Alki Elementary School next year - our first choice! The letters went out early, as I didn't expect to hear for a week or two. She's delighted by this, as she had it in her head that it was where she wanted to go, because "big kids" Emma and Liam go there, and because her friends Jessie & Zoe will go there (when Zoe returns from Panama, anyway).
Now, off to rouse Tessa. I really, really want to attend church this morning - my soul needs a little rest.
Love,
Kristina
This morning Tessa is snuffly with allergies and Ryan awoke with a migraine. Tessa's slow to get up but will be fine; Ryan took Immitrex and hopefully he'll be fine in an hour or two. I'm still reeling from the news of Cathy but I am prepared to make it a new day.
We also got excellent news yesterday. Tessa will be attending Alki Elementary School next year - our first choice! The letters went out early, as I didn't expect to hear for a week or two. She's delighted by this, as she had it in her head that it was where she wanted to go, because "big kids" Emma and Liam go there, and because her friends Jessie & Zoe will go there (when Zoe returns from Panama, anyway).
Now, off to rouse Tessa. I really, really want to attend church this morning - my soul needs a little rest.
Love,
Kristina
Saturday, March 15, 2008
WSUU Upcoming Services
When I was updating my links of interest, I decided to check out the WSUU page myself. I found a list of upcoming services, and I have to say that each of them looks particularly interesting to me. I won't be attending on Easter Sunday because we're attending an Easter Brunch with the PEPS gang (and there's a certain spirituality to such events, as well - full of joy and laughter), but I'll listen to it on podcast because the services are now available online (wahoo).
-----------------
March 16th “Hope is a State of Mind” Rev. Nan Geer
Unitarian Universalism is about keeping the faith in spite of and because of the evidence. Rev. Nan Geer is a Unitarian Universalist Minister serving her 17th year as minister of Free Church Unitarian in Blaine. In 1991 and 1992 she served part-time as a Student Minister at The West Seattle Unitarian Fellowship while also serving part-time in Blaine and also in Wenatchee. Nan and her husband (who does all the cooking!) now live in Blaine.
March 23rd “Ingredients of Joy” Rev. Peg Morgan
On this Easter Sunday we will speak about joy, how we get it and what joy might teach us about life.
March 30th “Building Communities of Compassion” Trudy James, Chaplain
What are communities of compassion? Why are they so necessary in our lives? What do they look like and what are their characteristics? How are such a communities created and sustained? And what implications might we draw for our congregation --one that places a high value on its sense of community?Trudy James, MRE, is a hospital chaplain, and AIDS CareTeam Specialist for Multifaith Works in Seattle. Trudy has developed and worked with CareTeams for people and families living with AIDS for 19 years. She is known nationally for her tireless work in building communities of compassion.
April 6th “Addiction, Hope and Spirituality” Denis Meacham, Associate Minister, First Parish, Brewster MA
In 1988 Denis Meacham’s life was a study in contradictions. He was a successful man of business, founder of his own publishing company. He was a college professor with degrees from Princeton and Harvard. And he was an alcoholic, struggling with a compulsion to drink around the clock. He ended up, with his wife’s help, in a detox center, and his life has never been the same. Ordained in 2002, the Rev. Dr. Denis Meacham is on a quest to equip Unitarian Universalists with the spiritual tools to overcome addictions themselves.
April 13th “Fire of Commitment” Rev. Peg Morgan
Today we will consider what it means to be committed...how much does commitment require and change us?
April 20th “The Earth Is Our Mother” Rev. Connie Yost
In honor of Earth Day on April 22nd, we will celebrate and renew our connections with our mother earth.Rev. Connie Yost is an ordained UU community minister, and founder of Earth Works Community Farm in Los Angeles, a job works community. Connie now divides her time between Hospice and Social Justice ministries in Salem.
April 27th “Stages of Faith and Congregations” Rev. Peg Morgan
Today we will look at the James Fowler "stages of faith" both personally and also in regards to how they apply to the life of a particular congregation...ours. Which stage are we in?
May 4th Rev. Peg Morgan
May 11th “Staying at the Table: The Sustenance of Right Relation” Rev. Karen Taliesin
How can we speak our truth while honoring those with whom we deeply disagree? Allowing the grace of understanding, empathy, and change to manifest itself in ongoing ways in all our relationships is perhaps our most difficult task — yet the one that may offer the very sustenance we need to survive.Rev. Karen Taliesin is a full time Chaplain at Children's Hospital, and a Unitarian Universalist minister associated with East Shore Unitarian in Bellevue. She is a graduate of the School of Theology and Ministry at Seattle University.
-----------------
March 16th “Hope is a State of Mind” Rev. Nan Geer
Unitarian Universalism is about keeping the faith in spite of and because of the evidence. Rev. Nan Geer is a Unitarian Universalist Minister serving her 17th year as minister of Free Church Unitarian in Blaine. In 1991 and 1992 she served part-time as a Student Minister at The West Seattle Unitarian Fellowship while also serving part-time in Blaine and also in Wenatchee. Nan and her husband (who does all the cooking!) now live in Blaine.
March 23rd “Ingredients of Joy” Rev. Peg Morgan
On this Easter Sunday we will speak about joy, how we get it and what joy might teach us about life.
March 30th “Building Communities of Compassion” Trudy James, Chaplain
What are communities of compassion? Why are they so necessary in our lives? What do they look like and what are their characteristics? How are such a communities created and sustained? And what implications might we draw for our congregation --one that places a high value on its sense of community?Trudy James, MRE, is a hospital chaplain, and AIDS CareTeam Specialist for Multifaith Works in Seattle. Trudy has developed and worked with CareTeams for people and families living with AIDS for 19 years. She is known nationally for her tireless work in building communities of compassion.
April 6th “Addiction, Hope and Spirituality” Denis Meacham, Associate Minister, First Parish, Brewster MA
In 1988 Denis Meacham’s life was a study in contradictions. He was a successful man of business, founder of his own publishing company. He was a college professor with degrees from Princeton and Harvard. And he was an alcoholic, struggling with a compulsion to drink around the clock. He ended up, with his wife’s help, in a detox center, and his life has never been the same. Ordained in 2002, the Rev. Dr. Denis Meacham is on a quest to equip Unitarian Universalists with the spiritual tools to overcome addictions themselves.
April 13th “Fire of Commitment” Rev. Peg Morgan
Today we will consider what it means to be committed...how much does commitment require and change us?
April 20th “The Earth Is Our Mother” Rev. Connie Yost
In honor of Earth Day on April 22nd, we will celebrate and renew our connections with our mother earth.Rev. Connie Yost is an ordained UU community minister, and founder of Earth Works Community Farm in Los Angeles, a job works community. Connie now divides her time between Hospice and Social Justice ministries in Salem.
April 27th “Stages of Faith and Congregations” Rev. Peg Morgan
Today we will look at the James Fowler "stages of faith" both personally and also in regards to how they apply to the life of a particular congregation...ours. Which stage are we in?
May 4th Rev. Peg Morgan
May 11th “Staying at the Table: The Sustenance of Right Relation” Rev. Karen Taliesin
How can we speak our truth while honoring those with whom we deeply disagree? Allowing the grace of understanding, empathy, and change to manifest itself in ongoing ways in all our relationships is perhaps our most difficult task — yet the one that may offer the very sustenance we need to survive.Rev. Karen Taliesin is a full time Chaplain at Children's Hospital, and a Unitarian Universalist minister associated with East Shore Unitarian in Bellevue. She is a graduate of the School of Theology and Ministry at Seattle University.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Oh well
Tonight I cancelled attending bookclub. I feel lousy and I am really looking forward to hosting the Surfaces (12 of us) for dinner tomorrow night, so I'm going to go to bed early. Bummer.
Today I turned down our hot water tank a bit; it was uncomfortably hot coming out of the tap (bad with little kids) and an energy waster. This week I plan to get a hot water blanket, which apparently can save 3-10% of the energy used by the hot water heater. (Better get an earthquake strap while I'm at it, and install them at the same time.
I've "hidden" our paper napkins, and now we're using cloth almost exclusively. I had plenty already so I didn't need to buy them. They get reused, not tossed in the trash, and it's one less thing to buy. Environment=pocketbook in this case. (Not always the case, but often enough.)
Church this weekend plans to do "Stone Soup," the classic folk tale, for the children's story, and all members of the congregation are asked to bring in a vegetable to share. This fits perfectly with the values we're trying to teach Tessa, and I'm glad she will get to see how it works. I think she'll also get a kick out of the social hour, enjoying the soup with her friends. We've volunteered to bring some bread to share (just a couple of loaves) and help serve (Tessa's preschool "spirit play" class is in charge of the project, so those families are bringing extras and helping) so we feel particularly connected to the project. Every week, I feel more connected to the WSUU community and their values.
I have also taken on a writing project for WSUUs involvement in building a Habitat for Humanity house in West Seattle. I think that this is an excellent opportunity for family time and community and charity and all the rest, so it will be a family affair to work on the project. I envision Tessa and I cleaning up the construction site (she can pick up nails for recycling, for example); I envision Tessa running a free lemonade stand for the workers; I envision Ryan getting satisfaction from swinging a hammer; I envision writing well crafted essays on the project and publishing them on a blog (not this one) for the WSUU and UU and Habitat communities.
Whereas I'm not able to do much for Komen right now because the breast cancer thing is sometimes too large of a part of my life, Habitat should fulfill my need to participate in charity wihtout bogging me down. That's the hope, anyway.
I have managed to track every dollar (cent!) of our household spending since this project began. This is NOT my forte' so I'm proud of this accomplishment.
I'm planning a family yard sale. NOT the 3-Day massive yard sale, just a litlte family yard sale. In this way I think we'll bring in some extra cash, get rid of clutter. We all stand to benefit. We'll let Tessa do a lemonade stand for profit, and then help her to budget her profits (charity, savings, spending).
I've been asked by Snow & Genentech to go to Colorado in May. Hurrah! I like these trips, and the money will help our family.
Today I had planned to garden, garden, garden....I'd like my front beds to look nicer when Mom & Dad S. arrive. Alas, it's not to be. We still have a mountain of mulch in the back yard, but I can't spread it until I pull the weeds. It will happen. (I'm working on this as Ryan works on the digging of the vegetable garden. In theory, they'll finish up at the same time, adn then I'll switch from the "big" weeding project to just maintenance weeding adn then planting as well. At that point, we also need to aerate, thatch, fertilize, and re-seed our back yard, figuring out a way to do this without Shep un-doing our work. I really want to spend a lot of time in our back yard this summer, enjoying the fruits of our labor. Actually, in our front yard, too!)
Speaking of yards, I'll throw this out there in internet land: anybody have any of the following they'd like to get rid of? I'd be happy to take them off your hands:
- soaker hose(s)
- rain barrel(s)
- ceramic or concrete bird bath
- wooden, metal, or concrete (anything but plastic) garden bench(es)
- trellises (for putting up beans and raspberries)
It worked for the bread machine (thanks Mom & Dad) so maybe it will work for one or more of these items, too.....?
Speaking of the bread machine, I haven't bought a loaf of bread since I got the machine. And now I only want home made bread. ;-) Tessa says she likes store bought pizza and store bought bread better than home made......oh well. C'est la vie. She's five, she doesn't get to choose.
Today I turned down our hot water tank a bit; it was uncomfortably hot coming out of the tap (bad with little kids) and an energy waster. This week I plan to get a hot water blanket, which apparently can save 3-10% of the energy used by the hot water heater. (Better get an earthquake strap while I'm at it, and install them at the same time.
I've "hidden" our paper napkins, and now we're using cloth almost exclusively. I had plenty already so I didn't need to buy them. They get reused, not tossed in the trash, and it's one less thing to buy. Environment=pocketbook in this case. (Not always the case, but often enough.)
Church this weekend plans to do "Stone Soup," the classic folk tale, for the children's story, and all members of the congregation are asked to bring in a vegetable to share. This fits perfectly with the values we're trying to teach Tessa, and I'm glad she will get to see how it works. I think she'll also get a kick out of the social hour, enjoying the soup with her friends. We've volunteered to bring some bread to share (just a couple of loaves) and help serve (Tessa's preschool "spirit play" class is in charge of the project, so those families are bringing extras and helping) so we feel particularly connected to the project. Every week, I feel more connected to the WSUU community and their values.
I have also taken on a writing project for WSUUs involvement in building a Habitat for Humanity house in West Seattle. I think that this is an excellent opportunity for family time and community and charity and all the rest, so it will be a family affair to work on the project. I envision Tessa and I cleaning up the construction site (she can pick up nails for recycling, for example); I envision Tessa running a free lemonade stand for the workers; I envision Ryan getting satisfaction from swinging a hammer; I envision writing well crafted essays on the project and publishing them on a blog (not this one) for the WSUU and UU and Habitat communities.
Whereas I'm not able to do much for Komen right now because the breast cancer thing is sometimes too large of a part of my life, Habitat should fulfill my need to participate in charity wihtout bogging me down. That's the hope, anyway.
I have managed to track every dollar (cent!) of our household spending since this project began. This is NOT my forte' so I'm proud of this accomplishment.
I'm planning a family yard sale. NOT the 3-Day massive yard sale, just a litlte family yard sale. In this way I think we'll bring in some extra cash, get rid of clutter. We all stand to benefit. We'll let Tessa do a lemonade stand for profit, and then help her to budget her profits (charity, savings, spending).
I've been asked by Snow & Genentech to go to Colorado in May. Hurrah! I like these trips, and the money will help our family.
Today I had planned to garden, garden, garden....I'd like my front beds to look nicer when Mom & Dad S. arrive. Alas, it's not to be. We still have a mountain of mulch in the back yard, but I can't spread it until I pull the weeds. It will happen. (I'm working on this as Ryan works on the digging of the vegetable garden. In theory, they'll finish up at the same time, adn then I'll switch from the "big" weeding project to just maintenance weeding adn then planting as well. At that point, we also need to aerate, thatch, fertilize, and re-seed our back yard, figuring out a way to do this without Shep un-doing our work. I really want to spend a lot of time in our back yard this summer, enjoying the fruits of our labor. Actually, in our front yard, too!)
Speaking of yards, I'll throw this out there in internet land: anybody have any of the following they'd like to get rid of? I'd be happy to take them off your hands:
- soaker hose(s)
- rain barrel(s)
- ceramic or concrete bird bath
- wooden, metal, or concrete (anything but plastic) garden bench(es)
- trellises (for putting up beans and raspberries)
It worked for the bread machine (thanks Mom & Dad) so maybe it will work for one or more of these items, too.....?
Speaking of the bread machine, I haven't bought a loaf of bread since I got the machine. And now I only want home made bread. ;-) Tessa says she likes store bought pizza and store bought bread better than home made......oh well. C'est la vie. She's five, she doesn't get to choose.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Winding down
Sunday night, and we're winding down. Ryan is reading Tessa stories, and I'm logged in here for a moment before going to bed early myself.
Yesterday we got part of the front yard weeded and mulched, and Ryan dug half of the vegetable garden. Both of us were too exhausted to finish the project, so next weekend we'll be doing more of same. I'm joking that my "mulch muscles" were out of shape...perhaps by the end of the weekend they'll be better. I'll try to garden an hour a day this week and see how much I can get done before the weekend. I guess that's how I must plan my weeks if I am to become a gardener.
Church today was on a topic of particular interest to me, and I walked away with many interesting thoughts to contemplate throughout the week. At its best, that is what church does for me, adn I appreciate the peace that comes with that. My friend Bryona joined us today to test out the church, too, and I enjoyed her presence (and singing!) there, as well.
We went to the Farmer's Market, and I mentioned to the bean-seller that the beans hadn't worked out. He apologized and gave me more for free. I really like him - nice guy, good stuff, good business. I appreciate this kind of customer service, and it makes me more loyal to him. At its best, the Farmer's Market is about personal relationships, not just produce, and I like that.
I did, however, cut back on some of my Farmer's Market purchases, deciding that the meat was just too spendy. Our local grocery store had a special on meat today ("12 hour sale!") that I happened upon because we were out of milk, and I was able to get organic, free range, grass fed, etc. for pretty low prices. Good thing, because despite all this cutting back we're not on budget, and I have no idea how we'll hit budget this week with all of the garden purchases (fertilizer, compost, seeds, etc.) that we continue to make. The pay-off should be worth it....right?!
Tonight the Hisatomi's had us over for a lovely dinner (we brought wine, home made bread, and salad; they provided an amazing home made lasagna with butternut squash, kale, ricotta - YUM) and it was a nice way to end our week.
Not much reflection tonight, just what we did today. Tessa is well, silly as ever, and acting her extroverted self. She went over to our neighbors' house to deliver a picture she'd made them, and came back five minutes later to announce to me, "I invited Sarah to have a glass of wine; she'll be here in five minutes," which had me spluttering with laughter and saying "WHAT?" - fortunately Sarah has a great sense of humor and enjoys Tessa, so she got a good laugh out of Tessa's precocious invitation, as well. No wonder when the teacher said that Tessa was unusually quiet I had a hard time imagining it, when this is what I see most often. (Yes, I know, different at school; different with people she's more used to; different with adults than kids; different when mom and dad are right there, etc.)
Good night, all.
Yesterday we got part of the front yard weeded and mulched, and Ryan dug half of the vegetable garden. Both of us were too exhausted to finish the project, so next weekend we'll be doing more of same. I'm joking that my "mulch muscles" were out of shape...perhaps by the end of the weekend they'll be better. I'll try to garden an hour a day this week and see how much I can get done before the weekend. I guess that's how I must plan my weeks if I am to become a gardener.
Church today was on a topic of particular interest to me, and I walked away with many interesting thoughts to contemplate throughout the week. At its best, that is what church does for me, adn I appreciate the peace that comes with that. My friend Bryona joined us today to test out the church, too, and I enjoyed her presence (and singing!) there, as well.
We went to the Farmer's Market, and I mentioned to the bean-seller that the beans hadn't worked out. He apologized and gave me more for free. I really like him - nice guy, good stuff, good business. I appreciate this kind of customer service, and it makes me more loyal to him. At its best, the Farmer's Market is about personal relationships, not just produce, and I like that.
I did, however, cut back on some of my Farmer's Market purchases, deciding that the meat was just too spendy. Our local grocery store had a special on meat today ("12 hour sale!") that I happened upon because we were out of milk, and I was able to get organic, free range, grass fed, etc. for pretty low prices. Good thing, because despite all this cutting back we're not on budget, and I have no idea how we'll hit budget this week with all of the garden purchases (fertilizer, compost, seeds, etc.) that we continue to make. The pay-off should be worth it....right?!
Tonight the Hisatomi's had us over for a lovely dinner (we brought wine, home made bread, and salad; they provided an amazing home made lasagna with butternut squash, kale, ricotta - YUM) and it was a nice way to end our week.
Not much reflection tonight, just what we did today. Tessa is well, silly as ever, and acting her extroverted self. She went over to our neighbors' house to deliver a picture she'd made them, and came back five minutes later to announce to me, "I invited Sarah to have a glass of wine; she'll be here in five minutes," which had me spluttering with laughter and saying "WHAT?" - fortunately Sarah has a great sense of humor and enjoys Tessa, so she got a good laugh out of Tessa's precocious invitation, as well. No wonder when the teacher said that Tessa was unusually quiet I had a hard time imagining it, when this is what I see most often. (Yes, I know, different at school; different with people she's more used to; different with adults than kids; different when mom and dad are right there, etc.)
Good night, all.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
March weekend
Today Ryan woke up with a migraine - uh oh. He took his Immitrex (sp?) and is in the darkened guest room right now, trying to sleep it off. Hopefully within two hours he'll feel much better.
The plan for this weekend is to spend a little time today at C&P (about to leave!), to run an errand at WaMu (Tessa and I are going to go - she's going to ride her bike, and I'm going to walk beside her with Shep...wish me luck! It's about a mile and a half round trip and I'll have my hands full.), and then it's gardening, gardening, gardening.
We're going to break ground on the new garden, and go up to West Seattle Nursury to buy extra compost (we don't have enough) and fertilizer, to prep the soil for planting. It's going to be back breaking work, but I swear it will be worth it. We also have a truckload's worth of mulch (free!) that we need to spread on our other beds. It will be a busy day, and at the end of it all we'll be tired, but hopefully in that satisfying way. We'll have a quiet family night together, and I even envision board games. We'll see!
Sunday, we'll go to church (the subject is happiness, and references the Dalai Lama's thoughts on happiness, and I'm particularly intrigued and hopeful that I'll walk away with something interesting) and our friend Bryona is coming (Graham too, I hope). Then, the Farmer's Market....and then we have no plans. I like the no plans part as much as the other parts.
And now, off to the day. Fingers crossed that Ryan's meds work and the migraine disappears quickly!
The plan for this weekend is to spend a little time today at C&P (about to leave!), to run an errand at WaMu (Tessa and I are going to go - she's going to ride her bike, and I'm going to walk beside her with Shep...wish me luck! It's about a mile and a half round trip and I'll have my hands full.), and then it's gardening, gardening, gardening.
We're going to break ground on the new garden, and go up to West Seattle Nursury to buy extra compost (we don't have enough) and fertilizer, to prep the soil for planting. It's going to be back breaking work, but I swear it will be worth it. We also have a truckload's worth of mulch (free!) that we need to spread on our other beds. It will be a busy day, and at the end of it all we'll be tired, but hopefully in that satisfying way. We'll have a quiet family night together, and I even envision board games. We'll see!
Sunday, we'll go to church (the subject is happiness, and references the Dalai Lama's thoughts on happiness, and I'm particularly intrigued and hopeful that I'll walk away with something interesting) and our friend Bryona is coming (Graham too, I hope). Then, the Farmer's Market....and then we have no plans. I like the no plans part as much as the other parts.
And now, off to the day. Fingers crossed that Ryan's meds work and the migraine disappears quickly!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Quiet Sunday
Yesterday, at the end of the day, Tessa got unusually quiet, complained of achiness and an earache, and fell asleep before dinner as she sat on my lap. Uh-oh - a sleepy girl is a sure sign of illness.
She coughed lightly through the night, and she's been sneezing. Another cold has arrived, it seems. We're keeping the tissue box close at hand.
She's in good spirits this morning, but we are having a quiet day. Ryan went to church because it was our turn to bring refreshments and one of us needed to be there; it made sense for Ryan to attend because he'll be on a business trip next week and will need to miss out. I'm always sad to miss the service, because I find it so calming, but there will be lots of opportunities to attend.
This morning I find myself humming hymns to myself, so it feels like I'm present at WSUU even though I'm here.
Tessa and I have been working on lettering and counting this morning, sitting at the kitchen table together. G.G. gave Tessa a great book with wipe-clean pages and markers, and Tessa has been practicing counting and writing her numbers. I'm glad that she is at last expressing an interest in counting - like her Mama she's much more interested in words than numbers, but there is room for balance.
A quiet day. Time for puzzles, stories, and maybe even an episode of Clifford.
Tonight I hope to attend the yoga class at the YMCA - that will be some good centering time.
She coughed lightly through the night, and she's been sneezing. Another cold has arrived, it seems. We're keeping the tissue box close at hand.
She's in good spirits this morning, but we are having a quiet day. Ryan went to church because it was our turn to bring refreshments and one of us needed to be there; it made sense for Ryan to attend because he'll be on a business trip next week and will need to miss out. I'm always sad to miss the service, because I find it so calming, but there will be lots of opportunities to attend.
This morning I find myself humming hymns to myself, so it feels like I'm present at WSUU even though I'm here.
Tessa and I have been working on lettering and counting this morning, sitting at the kitchen table together. G.G. gave Tessa a great book with wipe-clean pages and markers, and Tessa has been practicing counting and writing her numbers. I'm glad that she is at last expressing an interest in counting - like her Mama she's much more interested in words than numbers, but there is room for balance.
A quiet day. Time for puzzles, stories, and maybe even an episode of Clifford.
Tonight I hope to attend the yoga class at the YMCA - that will be some good centering time.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Slow learner
I was just thinking....in regard to cancer, I'm a slow learner.
What i mean by that is that I feel like I'm still in major treatment. I haven't moved on. I look at my posts here, and most of them reference cancer or treatment in some way. Two and a half years later, and I'm still in Cancerland.
In some ways, this makes me chastise myself. I have enough stage IV friends to know how ridiculous it is for me to obsess on this. My stage IV friends are out living their lives, parenting their children, working at their jobs, participating in their communities, etc. And here I am, "only" early stage, and not moving on.
Part of this is because of the aggressive level of treatment I've insisted upon. I still see my onc every three months; it's only a couple of months since I stopped going to the chemo ward regularly to get Herceptin. My recon is (by my own standards) a mess, and I'm still not done with surgeries. I take major handfuls of pills throughout the day, and I feel their side effects.
I also know early stage breast cancer women who have moved on, who aren't immersing themselves in these thoughts, who have mostly put cancer behind them. I envy that. Will I ever get to that stage?
I'm trying to learn.
For me, part of going to church is about learning this process. At WSUU, I'm hoping to find ways in which to encourage peace within my self. I'm doing lots of reading on issues of spirituality to supplement that learning. I'm trying to find my way out of the fog.
But I think I'm a slow learner in this regard.
What i mean by that is that I feel like I'm still in major treatment. I haven't moved on. I look at my posts here, and most of them reference cancer or treatment in some way. Two and a half years later, and I'm still in Cancerland.
In some ways, this makes me chastise myself. I have enough stage IV friends to know how ridiculous it is for me to obsess on this. My stage IV friends are out living their lives, parenting their children, working at their jobs, participating in their communities, etc. And here I am, "only" early stage, and not moving on.
Part of this is because of the aggressive level of treatment I've insisted upon. I still see my onc every three months; it's only a couple of months since I stopped going to the chemo ward regularly to get Herceptin. My recon is (by my own standards) a mess, and I'm still not done with surgeries. I take major handfuls of pills throughout the day, and I feel their side effects.
I also know early stage breast cancer women who have moved on, who aren't immersing themselves in these thoughts, who have mostly put cancer behind them. I envy that. Will I ever get to that stage?
I'm trying to learn.
For me, part of going to church is about learning this process. At WSUU, I'm hoping to find ways in which to encourage peace within my self. I'm doing lots of reading on issues of spirituality to supplement that learning. I'm trying to find my way out of the fog.
But I think I'm a slow learner in this regard.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A Chance to See the Dalai Lama
I have recently learned that the Dalai Lama is coming to Seattle, and I'm thrilled at the prospect of seeing him speak.
Check it out:
http://www.seedsofcompassion.net/event/
I personally believe that the Dalai Lama is one of the most compassionate, intelligent people on the planet, and every time I hear him speak (never in person, unfortunately) or read his writing I walk away feeling more committed to being a positive person in the world. I admire his teachings greatly, and I would be more excited than I can express if I got to see him.
This particular program is interesting to me because it is all about teaching children compassion, and raising our children compassionately. As I struggle to be a compassionate person, I know that I struggle to model to Tessa, and I hope that I can learn more.
Tickets aren't on sale or available yet, but I hope to be able to get my hands on some.
Check it out:
http://www.seedsofcompassion.net/event/
I personally believe that the Dalai Lama is one of the most compassionate, intelligent people on the planet, and every time I hear him speak (never in person, unfortunately) or read his writing I walk away feeling more committed to being a positive person in the world. I admire his teachings greatly, and I would be more excited than I can express if I got to see him.
This particular program is interesting to me because it is all about teaching children compassion, and raising our children compassionately. As I struggle to be a compassionate person, I know that I struggle to model to Tessa, and I hope that I can learn more.
Tickets aren't on sale or available yet, but I hope to be able to get my hands on some.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Churches that advertise
The UU organization is advertising in Time Magazine. I'm not sure how I feel about this; on the one hand, evangelism generally makes me feel uncomfortable; on the other, I'm grateful to have stumbled onto the UU faith but it was almost entirely by accident and I wish I'd heard of it sooner and these ads might help facilitate that for others.
Anyway, here's a link to the ad. It is next to an interesting article about Einstein's faith.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1607298,00.html
Anyway, here's a link to the ad. It is next to an interesting article about Einstein's faith.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1607298,00.html
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