Trying to sort it all out

Yesterday I went to my first therapy session; today Ryan is at his second therapy session; next week we have our first marriage counseling session. Three therapists for a family seems a little excessive, but there you have it. We have some big issues to work through, and we are not too proud to get help.

Ryan has officially started short term disability (3 months) for his depression. This is unpaid leave, but maintains our benefits. We are relying on the assistance of my parents to get us through this time financially, and are indebted to them for their kindness.

I may have an opportunity (I know only about the position through Michele, I haven't yet followed up) to do some grading for the Bellevue School District. This may be an ideal way to bring in some money - it's $20 an hour, I can do it from home, the hours are flexible, and I can work as much or little as I please. I'm not sure if there are still positions open but I will follow up soon. My thought is that I would do 10 hours a week, and then evaluate from there.

Tessa is still sick with her cold. She has coughed all night, so today I'll put in a call to the doctor to see what we can do for her. She's sleeping now (very late for her) because she was so fitful last night...poor girl.

Kristina

Breast Cancer Loss

Ronne's Blog
When I was first diagnosed, the first breast cancer survivor to reach out to me was a woman named Ronne who also frequented a parenting online site that I frequently visited. She gave me questions to ask my doctors, encouraged me, and offered a listening ear. She was strong, brave, courageous, and eager to do whatever it took to fight this thing. She had a good attitude, excellent support, and good medical care.

Within the past day or so (I don't yet know details) she has passed away. Her breast cancer metastasized, and there was nothing more to be done than to keep her comfortable and to help her to pass peacefully. She leaves behind a loving husband, a toddler daughter, and countless other people who loved her.

This is sometimes the reality of breast cancer. I pray that it is not my reality. Ronne's cancer is not my cancer, and her death does not predict my own, but it's another hit, closer to home, about what it is that I'm fighting for. As Ronne said to me, "Please keep in mind that my story is not a typical one. I was diagnosed
late and was already stage IIIB by the time the docs figured it out. Early
stage breast cancer is very treatable and you are very likely going to be
ok, but the next year or so will be challenging for you and your family. I
wish you all the best." It's not just about bodily mutilation and horrific treatment plans...there are worse things than that. Ronne had to experience the worst of it. (To my stage IIIB friends....Ronne's end was not typical either - she's in a malpractice suit for some of the early treatment she received. My stage III friends are to grow old alongside me!!!!)

Ronne, may you rest in peace. Your life touched mine, and I am grateful to you. God Bless.

Please send Ronne's family an extra thought and prayer today,
Kristina

7 down, 9 to go

Today's chemo was uneventful (other than the fact that it ran late...again). I now have an antibiotic for my cold (which has led to some sinus infection type symtoms), but I was allowed to continue chemo, which is a good thing. I'm down to single digits for the number remaining, and there is something be said for that. Also, time-wise, assuming that I don't miss any more sessions, I'm half way through now...so I'm on the downhill. Phew.

Kristina

Chemo today

I am scheduled to meet with the oncologist at 2:30, and to begin chemo at 3:30. I am hoping that my blood counts are high enough for me to attend chemo this week - my cold is particularly nasty and it hasn't disappeared yet. I'll update the results when I know them.

Kristina

Radiation

I met with a radiation oncologist this morning. It is official; I will have seven weeks of radiation starting on Jan. 2. Though I'm officially in a "gray zone" for deciding if I will have radiation, the fact that I had 10 cm of DCIS with only a 2mm margin at the chest wall, combined with 2-3 primary IDC tumors, makes my risk of recurrance higher at the chest wall. The radiation oncologist and I agree that radiation is the way to fight this.

The road seems never ending, but I'm confident that I'm making the right decision. If a tumor occurs in the chest wall, there is an 80% chance of metastasis. I owe it to myself to fight that possibility to the best of my ability.

I will be eligible for reconstruction 6 months after the end of radiation, so I hope to plan a DIEP reconstruction, along with a prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction on the other side, next summer (August) or early fall. I am not eligible for implants after this radiation, so that decides that. (I was leaning toward DIEP anyway, and this decides it.)

Kristina

Colds and fevers

Yesterday, since the first time I can remember, I stayed in bed all day. I had feverish feelings followed by chills (but the fever never went over 99.7 degrees), a headache that was like a vice, a sore throat, coughing, insomnia, and the runniest and most congested nose I can ever remember having. The fatigue with all of this...yuck.

Today it feels slightly better. I'm going to get in the shower and go about my day, which will be an improvement over yesterday.

The doctor on call told me to just watch the fever and take care of myself, so that is what I'm doing.

Kristina