Nearly Perfect

Yesterday, Tessa and I enjoyed a wonderful day downtown - we took the bus to the aquarium for the preschool field trip, then enjoyed lunch at the aquarium, then walked through Pike Place Market, and then visited the Seattle Art Museum before coming home. It was basically free, it was fun, and it was great bonding time.

At the aquarium, we learned about all kinds of things (did you know that a starfish puts its stomach outside of its body, wraps it around its food, and then eats that way?). At the art museum, we saw all kinds of things (including Tessa's favorite exhibit....a ceramic toilet with quite realistic looking fecal matter inside....YUCK but the girl thinks it's hysterical).

And then today, to follow up from our day at the aquarium, we went to the low tide/naturalist talks at Alki's Constellation Park. This was a 75 year low tide, and we saw the most amazing creatures and things: a Lemon Sea Slug laying eggs; hundreds of sea cucumbers; countless sea stars (starfish), including one that was eating a kelp crab; innumerable sea anemones. We found lots of moon snail shells but left them behind because it's a protected marine sanctuary. We found one live moon snail, as well, and were even able to point it out to a naturalist who was saying "I can't find any today!"

The beach naturalists did a fabulous job. One asked Tessa lots of questions, and told me that she was startled at how much Tessa knew about the creatures we were discussing. (When Tessa is interested in something, her memory is remarkable. "Sea creatures" fall in that category, and our recent studies at preschool and aquarium trips were helpful in her lessons.) Tessa asked thoughtful questions, and I was incredibly proud of her. (Marine biologist in the making? Well, she still says she wants to work in a horse stable for a living, but we will see!)

We dined in high style, sitting amid all of this on a waterproof blanket. We ate tuna sandwiches, and as we ate, we pointed at things beneath the rocks "Oh, look, that sea star is such a pretty purple!" and "Look, Mama, under that rock are FIVE sea cucumbers!" and "What kind of seaweed is that?"

This was the kind of day I live for. I didn't take it for granted.

PS I have never before seen so many different patterned rubber boots! Tessa's are hot pink with circles and polka dots; mine are shades of brown and white plaid. But every variety made seemed present today on the beach.

PPS Perfect tuna sandwiches!

Two slices home-made whole wheat flax bread

One can dolphin-safe albacore tuna

Several good dollops of fat-free organic Greek style yogurt

a good squeeze of lemon juice

finely chopped capers

Mix tuna, yogurt, lemon, and capers; add sea salt to taste if desired. Spread on bread, add tomato slices. Cut on the diagonal. Yummm!

One of Tessa's favorite activities

(In Spokane.)

Tessa's Kindergarten Letter

Yesterday I submitted the letter to Alki stating that Tessa would definately attend kindergarten there. Per their request, I also wrote a letter describing Tessa, to better help them to place her in the classroom.

Here's part of what I wanted to say:
Tessa is one of the most special people you will ever meet. Her intelligence shines from her eyes, and her laughter is quick and frequent. She is empathetic, kind, and thoughtful. She is deeply loved by her family.

I wanted to go on for pages in this manner, describing Tessa through her parents' eyes. Of course, I'd also have to talk about her willful behavior, and her independence (and how that can be as much of a detriment as an asset), but I wanted to show in some way just how lucky the teachers are to have my daughter in their classroom. My assumption is that every parent feels this way about their child(ren), and that it would not be helpful to write pages about how special Tessa is....though I wanted to.

But instead, here's what I said. I hope I didn't come across as a crazy mom; I hope that I provided the right information.
------------------------------------------------
Dear Ms. Hill and Alki Staff and Teachers,

Our daughter, Tessa Surface, is absolutely delighted that she will be attending kindergarten at Alki next year. As a family, we are excited to be a part of your Alki community, as well.

Tessa has many loves and interests: her favorite animals are bats and horses; she loves gymnastics, swimming and soccer; she adores the color pink (although I joke that her favorite clothing choice is “clash” and she’s very independent about how she dresses). She loves all girly-stuff, but won’t hesitate to go on the monkey bars in a sparkly dress, or to pick up bugs and worms. She is a loyal friend and would have sleepovers daily if we allowed it (monthly is more usual). When left to her own devices, she plays on her swing set, looks at books, creates art at our kitchen table, or plays pretend with her ponies for hours.

Tessa is a child who loves going to school. She is excited to learn about all kinds of new things, and particularly likes coming home from preschool to teach Mom and Dad about new things that she’s learned, especially facts about nature. In the school environment, she is eager to please her teachers, and to be a “big kid” and take on responsibilities at school helping out in the classroom and following instructions. She does a pretty good job with sharing, taking turns, and other social niceties of the age; she’s not perfect in this regard and sometimes needs reminding, but in general her social behaviors make her parents proud.

Academically, our preschool teacher (Shelley at A Child Becomes) assures us that Tessa is quite ready for kindergarten. She can recognize and write all of the letters of the alphabet, and she knows all of their sounds (although she occasionally gets soft vowel sounds confused with one another). She can sound out simple three or four letter words, and has memorized the spelling of her best friends’ names. She can count upwards of thirty, but is much more interested in letters than numbers. She is very interested in learning how to read, and will sit for extended periods of time “reading” to herself (in reality, looking at the pictures and repeating out loud the stories that we have read to her). We read to her daily, and we have books all over our home for her to access. According to our pediatrician, she is on target or ahead for all of her physical milestones, as well.

Socially, Tessa is a mixed up combination of shy and extroverted. She can take a while to warm up to a new situation (at her new preschool it took a couple of months), especially if all of the people are new to her, but then it “clicks” for her and she often becomes the chattiest child in the room. She is fortunate to have many good friends, and while she prefers playing with girls (especially pretend play) she’s learned to be friends with boys, too. We are a social family, and though Tessa is an only child, she adores other children and our lives and home are filled with other children on a daily basis.

Attending kindergarten at Alki with Tessa are some of Tessa’s dearest friends, whom she has known for years, including Anna Huycke,Jessie McComb, and Lexi Reifel. She deeply hopes that she will get to share a classroom with some or all of these girls, and I share that hope with her, because when she has the comfort of a friend(s) she is most likely to feel comfortable and respond well to her environment.

We look forward to meeting our teacher(s). Thank you for considering Tessa’s traits as you place her with her teacher and peers next year.

Regards, Kristina Surface

Pictures from the weekend

The weekend was filled with busy adventures: our yard sale, Tessa's blessing, and Mother's Day Brunch. Here are a few tastes of our busy days.

From our yard sale: Tessa's lemonade stand. Tessa, Anna, and Cassie at the lemonade stand. They made over $40 for Habitat for Humanity, had a great time....and got to drink lemonade.
At Tessa's child blessing today.
The family! Mother's Day Brunch.

My mom (Mum) and I together on Mother's Day. Love you, Mum!

GG (Grandma) playing piano with Tessa - they did a duet (of sorts - Grandma played a tune, anyway!).Not the best picture, but it does show how much Tessa and Krystal love to bond. Joshua (Jockey) and Camille on the teeter-totter.Four generations of Dahl women: Krystal, Grandma, Mom, Tessa and I (on our back deck, after Mother's Day brunch at our house).

Cousin Caleb - he played monkey on the swingset and I loved watching his joy and antics.Pseudo-serious - Mike and Dad posing in our back yard.

Heather and I - with a passel of kids in the background! (And I can't help but noticing....ugh I hate the way my chest looks. In October, with the next surgery, it will be smaller. It had better be, anyway.)Sweet Camille and silly Kelton with his cow.

Tessa and the lizard update

Tessa JUST woke up, and so I'm keeping her out of preschool.

The reason she slept in so late, and that I didn't wake her earlier, is that the kid cried herself to sleep until about 10:30 or 11pm last night. You've gotta be kidding me! Argh.

She seems in a good mood....let's hope that the good mood sticks....!

Sometimes it's tough being five

Background: At Tessa's dentist's office, at the end of each appointment the children are given a "coin" and get to go to a series of machines (not unlike gumball machines) to choose a type of small toy as their reward for doing well. Last time, Tessa chose a sticky lizard, and loved it until it's limbs fell off (these are cheap toys; it didn't take long). This time, she couldn't wait to get a new lizard.

Tessa has shown off her lizard, took it with her to preschool today, and is quite infatuated with it. This is a bit weird (of all the toys to choose....?) but fine, of course.

Until tonight. I was in the kitchen doing dishes after dinner, and suddenly I heard a true shriek from the bathroom - I ran in expecting blood. "IT'S GONE!" she cried, truly gasping for breath and with tears streaming down her cheeks. "IT'S GONE! FOREVER!" and she cried so hard that the whites of her eyes were literally a bright pink.

Assessment....what is she talking about.....? Ahhh. She was giving "Sticky" a bath in the bathroom sink. For reasons unknown to me, she removed the little catcher that sits in the drain....and Sticky was washed out to sea.

For a moment, *I* was mad. "Tessa," I growled, "This is going to cost Mommy & Daddy a big plumbing bill and I'm upset that you did that!"

Oops. I realized very quickly that this was not jsut "one of those things" but that the poor girl was nearly hyperventilating - this wasn't her standard "I'm not getting my way" fit but really, truly, a desperate time.

So, I have spent the past hour plus of my life mourning one very cheap, linty, sticky lizard. I've tried sympathy ("I know how much you liked Sticky,") and I've tried cheap psychology ("Come on - this isn't the worst thing you've dealt with. It could have been worse! It could have been Bear!" - absolutely the most awful, wrong thing I could have said, by the way, and for the record - her shrieks at this point were deafening and it took a good while to calm her down from that one), and I've tried Sound of Music standards (which went well until I tried the unknown fourth verse....the one in which I substitute things from our life for the lyrics. Bringing up Sticky in one line was NOT a good idea.); and I've tried telling her stories from my childhood ("On a road trip, our dog used to ride in the back seat with Uncle Mike and I, and he got diarhea all over my favorite Holly Hobby doll!" - to this she replied that her lizard loss was much, much worse) AND I EVEN PULLED THE CANCER CARD! She said, "I'll never feel better, ever, ever, ever, and I'll never stop crying, " and I said, "Well, Mommy had cancer and I thought I'd never stop crying and I did" and she said, "Did it hurt when they shaved your head?" and I thought that I was really getting somewhere and then she said, "This is the worst day of my life and losing Sticky is MUCH MUCH WORSE than that!"

Well. Okay then.

At this point, fortunately, my sense of humor was in overdrive, and it was all that I could do to keep from laughing, which most definately was not an option in front of her. At some point in the cancer story I ws thinking "oh no I'm scarring her for life with all of this" and I felt guilty, but when she ranked her two cent sticky lizard going down the drain as MUCH MUCH WORSE than cancer, I realized that she wasn't too scarred by my slightly off comparison.

Ahhh, tough to be five.

And tomorrow, when she's at preschool, I plan to go back to her dentist's office to offer them cash for a new sticky lizard. I mean, how can I not?!

In a nutshell

I know that this blog has become all over the map, and I hope you're okay with that, because I'm okay with that. This blog is fulfilling several functions for me:

- Communicating information about my breast cancer treatment, including reconstruction

- Keeping friends and family updated about the ins and outs of our lives as a family

- Personal therapy for me - a chance to vent my feelings and sort them out and even occassionally get some online support from my readers

- A chance to work out ideas in writing (which is how I do my best thinking) on subjects such as compassion, joy, the environment, frugality, lifestyle, etc.

- A chance to share with others some of my ideas about how to change the world in small, incremental, easy-to-bite-off steps

- A documentation of the changes in my life in my quest for a balance between health, environment, and happiness (with a big dose of frugality thrown in!)

The more I write here, the more into I become, and blogging has become one of my favorite activities. As usual, I wish that I had more time for it to craft my messages, organize them, make them more readable, edit for stupid mistakes like using the same adjective twice in the same sentence, etc. (in addition to myriad spelling errors!). But I'm also trying to live in the moment, and I consider the blog my raw material, not the final result. What will I turn it into? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps a series of books. Perhaps a couple of essays. Perhaps something different entirely. Still, I'm drawn to keep writing it down...so I write.

I've mentioned our trip to Portland, but I haven't posted anything yet, so here goes - pictures! We had a lovely trip, and Mom & Dad S. were fabulous hosts (as always), treating us to home cooked meals, shared laughter, a trip to Bob's Red Mill so that Tessa could learn how they ground flour in "olden days," a visit with Scott & Susan, etc. The train ride was a pretty near perfect way to travel for our family, very relaxing, but the most fun was had with our family.

Some pictures:

Here's a picture of Tessa getting her first sewing machine lesson from Grandma - she was fascinated, and believes her grandma to be the most talented seamstress around. (Thanks so much, Mom, for mending Ryan's things!)Aunt Susan was one of the highlights of the trip for Tessa. Not only did we celebrate Aunt Susan's birthday (meaning that Grandma made her famous Surface Birthday Cake - angel food with the family recipe frosting), Aunt Susan read Tessa stories (this picture) and played Littlest Pet Shop with her. Tessa LOVED it!Ryan helped out a bit in the garden, and Tessa made short work of climbing the trees in the yard.
Here's Grandma, Bopa, and Tessa in front of Bob's Red Mill. It was a beautiful, sunny day.

And one more picture of Grandma, Bopa, and Tessa, this one taken in their back yard.

Here is a picture of Ryan's brother Scott (Uncle Scott) with Scott & Susan's new car. Usually, I think "big deal" when people get cars (much to my dad's dismay, I just don't care that much about cars) but this one was of particular interest to me, as it's a Toyota Prius. In my eyes, this thing is gorgeous, and probably my dream car. Scott is a research hound - even more than myself - and he and Susan looked into every detail before deciding on this environmentally friendly vehicle. Even new (it's only a month old) it's getting 45 miles per gallon of gas, and Scott & Susan know people with Prius's that are more broken in and sometimes get 80 mpg. That is a beautiful thing! It's the first time I've been in a Prius, and I was also incredibly impressed by it's roominess. I thought it would be too small for us as a family (especially with our lovely but giant black beast, Shep, as we don't like him in the backseat but in the "way back") but this proved untrue; it's a remarkably large small car. Ryan and I will not be buying a car for years and years if things go well, but when we do, this is what I hope for.

Tessa is awake and ready to go about her day so I need to cut this short, but here are my quick other thoughts....

= The garden continues to be a source of pleasure, frustration (I am so lacking in knowledge!) and activity for us. Every day we make some minor progress, and I'm so hopeful about what it will yield.

= I can't get enough reading in about how to alter my small world to make our bigger world a better place. I'm really enjoying the process - it gives me a sense of peacefulness that I am living in a "right livelihood" manner, and this in turn gives me joy.

= I am trying so hard to focus on what is meaningful to me, and to leave the other stuff aside. I'm trying much harder than ever before to live within my values, and you see the struggle and joy of that on just about every posting these days. I am committed to being happy, and I believe strongly that to do so I must live my life in a way beneficial to the planet and its inhabitants. Compassion is a major part of this, and I'm trying to incorporate more compassion into all I do. It does pay back, interestingly.

= Chasing a more frugal (aka living within or below our means) lifestyle is a challenge, but I am feeling the challenge and not deprivation. This is a major learning curve for me - I know little about frugality! - but I'm actually enjoying it.

And today's plan? Get the rest of the strawberry plants in the ground, and get the pea vines up. Lunch with my mom and GG (Tessa too). An afternoon at our home with Abby, Gabe, and Soleil (Abby is even more into this environmental stuff than I am!), and then a family evening together. Many other chores and details call, but the day is full. Oh well!

And this weekend I'm off to Orcas - hurrah!

And Tessa insists that I am done now. Ciao!

Sleepovers and Portland

The girls made it through the night - hurrah! Despite the fact that it was Zoe's first sleepover, she did fabulous, and my little stinker (who has had several sleepovers) stayed up WAY too late with the excitement of it all. Oh well. I still remember sleepovers from when I was young, and styaing up too late and getting in trouble for it is part of that.

(The threat that finally got her to settle down: "If you get out of bed one more time there will be no sleepovers for TWO MONTHS!" Never mind that we only have a sleepover every few months anyway....she was having too much fun to think of that long, and she finally went to sleep.)

I got to visit with Marisa last night, and that was such a treat. We've been good friends since college, and I always love seeing her. (Thank you Marisa for watching Shep this weekend, too.)

Now Zoe is gone, and Tessa and I are home resting. I kept Tessa home from preschool because she slept in late as a result of her late night, and I didn't want her to be (pardon the bad pun given today's events) a train wreck for the grandparents tonight. We'll have a quiet morning together getting ready for Portland instead.

And Portland! Our family is catching Amtrak this afternoon (Ryan will meet us at the station, which is walking distance from his office) from Seattle to Portland to visit Grandma and Bopa. Tessa is over the moon at the idea of a train ride,and Ryan and I are hoping for a nice relaxing trip where we can stroll a little to loosen up our legs, where someone else does the driving, where we can snack, talk, and relax. Gas prices are so awful that we decided that this was a good time to take the train, as when we looked at the cost of gas the train is a particularly good deal. It is also fortunate that we can go to Oregon City, close to Grandma & Bopa's, so they don't have to drive far to get us. The five of us can fit in their car, and they're okay with that, so it should work well.

(I hope I remember why I thought this was a good idea as I schlep a booster seat, suitcase, carry on bag, and child through the train station!)

We haven't been to Portland (or anywhere else, for that matter) in months, and it will be great to see family.

And on that note, off to fill up the suitcase and finish getting ready. Have a great weekend!

Fabulous kids

Tonight Zoe stayed over for a spontaneous sleepover. The girls had a blast....and are both sleeping like angels (fingers crossed that it stays that way). Here's the pictoral proof of their excitement!

Compassion Talk

Last night a small group of friends who had also seen the Dalai Lama speak came over to talk about compassion, and how to put it into action.

We all struggle with issues of compassion when we are put face to face with unkindness or rude behavior or insensitivity. It is so easy to be compassionate when we are the ones deciding to reach out....and it is so hard to be compassionate when children are having a fit and the phone is ringing and dinner is burning on the stove and you feel lousy and somebody is demanding a favor without considering your needs and...... In the meditative state, it's easy to be patient, compassionate, understanding. But what do we do in the midst of real life to take our real human emotions and manage them to be more compassionate while still acknowledging our own need for boundaries and understanding?

Tough questions, but rather interesting ones. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the honesty of my friends, who opened up about their struggles. The funny thing about them is that they feel their struggles so deeply, but I admire their compassion so much. They worry that they are off track, and I see them as more on track than 99% of the population. This is what makes them reflective, and I wouldn't change them, and I admire them all the more. (You know who you are!)

Tessa and I have had a tough couple of days. I'm hoping that both of us hit the "reset" button last night so that today will be easier. I swear I've seen the 15 year old in her these past few days, and it looks like a sign of rough times ahead....my five year old has been telling me that I'm wrong, she's right, and she's been snarky and resistant to basic instructions. She is the most delightful child I know, and I love her so deeply, and that is, perhaps, what makes it all the more frustrating. What the heck is going on?

Today I will work on being patient with Tessa, and developing my compassion where I need it most, when she is being difficult (okay, when she is being five). And I will try to be compassionate with myself when I am tired and not able to do all that I wish.

Tessa is demanding Mama's oatmeal (Carolyn's recipe) - every day she eats massive quantities of oatmeal with berries, yogurt, and maple syrup (though she has strongly rejected nuts in it) and I'm glad that she's found something so healthy to love. Off to the kitchen!

Wacky like the weather

It is alternately sunny and snowing here. Yes, you read that properly - snowing in Seattle in April. We have had snow flurries on multiple days in the past few weeks, most recently today. This morning before friends came over I thought I'd mop the kitchen floor. I got as far as moving the chairs and throw rugs outside....and it started snowing. So instead of mopping I dragged everything back indoors and gave up on that project. (The floor remains unmopped. What can I say?)

Then, this afternoon, Tessa ran around in the yard barefoot. The grass is lush and Ryan mowed it yesterday and I think it was soft, if cold, beneath her feet. Tessa played on her swingset with her friends, made a "baked grass pie" with grass clippings in a bucket, jumped rope, and insisted on keeping her coat off.

This evening, Ryan prepped another row of soil in the garden so that Tessa and I can plant the carrots tomorrow, and he did so in a windstorm with spitting rain - horrible weather. (Thanks, Ry, for doing it anyway.)

My mood - and Tessa's - is as wacky as the weather. I'm proud of myself for getting back in the swing of things, and irritated as all heck that I'm NOT in the swing of things. My patience is short, which is unfortunate because Tessa is a crazy nut today....her mood is all over the map (and though she's usually a good listener at gymnastics, she was obnoxious today and got spoken to on multiple occassions by the teacher).

I made a lovely dinner (I thought) and then felt like screeching at Tessa because of how much she complained about the scant amount of red onions in it (she used to love onions, now she's decided that they're evil and inedible...whatever).

Tessa was rude to me over the dinner issue, demanding dessert, going so far as to stick her tongue out at me and "harumph" me and raise her voice to me. Just when I thought I'd totally lose it, she started crying. I held my ground about dessert, held to her consequences, but offered to snuggle her and read a story. Then, my obnoxious daughter was sweet as can be, gentle and kind, snuggly on the chair, both of us enveloped in a blanket, reading stories.

Maybe the weather has something to do with our moods!

The garden is starting to be a legitimate garden. As of right now, we've planted:
- leeks
- rainbow Swiss chard
- mixed lettuce (red and green)
- Shuksan and Rainier strawberries
- early cabbage
....and we've got seeds planted in pots to be stored indoors until the weather is ready:
- northern peppers
- Black Krim tomatoes
- red currant tomatoes

I've still got sugar snap peas, golden beets, broccoli, kale, spinach, more lettuce, radishes to plant, and I want to buy more strawberry plants (I've decided we'll never tire of strawberries, and they're low cost when you consider that they don't have to be replanted each year). I want to buy rhubarb and squash. Oh, and I've got potatoes sprouting on a windowsill, so that I can plant those, too.

Our chives, oregano, rosemary, and parsley are thriving this year. I've got an indoor basil plant. I still plan to do mint, thyme, garlic, and maybe some other herbs.

Today, picking oregano from our herb garden, I was more pleased with myself than I should admit. It made me dream of making whole meals from our garden.

But my energy is high and low, just like Tessa's mood, and just like the weather. Maybe when the weather improves my mood will improve as well.

I did it

Tonight I sent Ryan away for a little alone-time, a little time to take care of himself without worrying about TK and I. With Jenny's help - she made us a fabulous dinner - and the fact that Tessa, Zoe, and Liam played beautifully together, I made it through. Tessa is tucked in to bed, and I'm about to follow.

I'm exhausted. For a bit I thought I wouldn't make it. But I did.

Good night!

A new day

The traditional day of rest.

This morning Tessa is snuffly with allergies and Ryan awoke with a migraine. Tessa's slow to get up but will be fine; Ryan took Immitrex and hopefully he'll be fine in an hour or two. I'm still reeling from the news of Cathy but I am prepared to make it a new day.

We also got excellent news yesterday. Tessa will be attending Alki Elementary School next year - our first choice! The letters went out early, as I didn't expect to hear for a week or two. She's delighted by this, as she had it in her head that it was where she wanted to go, because "big kids" Emma and Liam go there, and because her friends Jessie & Zoe will go there (when Zoe returns from Panama, anyway).

Now, off to rouse Tessa. I really, really want to attend church this morning - my soul needs a little rest.

Love,
Kristina

Phew

I'm glad today is over.

Tessa threw up repeatedly from the force of her cough. I hate throw up under general principles, but my heart ached for her on top of my general disgust. (Poor kid!) She's doing okay tonight but it was a rough day.

And, to prove that I'm certifiably crazy, I did a painting project half the day. The hallway between upstairs/downstairs (the stairwell, really) was dingy and gross and impossible to clean - I'll bet it hadn't been painted in 20 years, and it was the last part of our house to be painted since we moved in (except the downstairs bathroom, which has newish but gross paint). Anyway, after my satisfaction from the light fixture project, I thought "okay this has been bugging me for years - let's just take care of it!" so I did. We had paint leftover from painting the kitchen, and since that hallway is visible from the kitchen I thought it made sense to continue with it. (It's also a satin finish, great for wiping handprints...important due to its location.) We also had trimwork paint left over, and so I did that, too (though the trim had been painted monochromatic before).

And then I touched up Tessa's bathroom stepstool, too.

I'm exhausted. It was a hard day, physically, and my mental state of being is still questionable. (Ha!)

Still, I'm glad I did it. It's an improvement to our home, and it was free. It's good to see tangible results.

And now I'm going to bed. I'm wiped.

Monday

"Tell me why I don't like Mondays..."

Tessa is still sleeping. It is 11am. She is sick. I will call the doctor when she wakes up.

She says the back of her neck hurts, as well as the back of her knee. I'm imagining the worst possible scenerios. I feel frozen with fear when I think of her being "really" sick and can't even write what I think that might be.

It's probably nothing. Just one of those kid things. Right?

We're supposed to be at Zoe's birthday in a half hour. Zoe is at the doctor with her brother right now, who is also sick.

I got a lovely call from Carolyn this morning. I love you, Carolyn....

Tonight is my KOMO interview. I hope I'm up to this - put on my inspirational face....

Bad Juju

What the heck is going on at our house? Really, I feel way past my limits.

I have felt lousy for a couple of weeks. My throat is still sore, I'm still phlegmy, etc.

Tessa has had a cough for two weeks. Yesterday she had a great time at preschool and her teachers said she was doing fine, but in the evening she fell asleep while Zoe was over and didn't even want dessert - home made cobbler with Husky Deli vanilla ice cream. (This is NOT normal.) Last night she woke up in the middle of the night and said, "My head hurts" and "my bones ache" for several hours.

This was not the rest I required after my miserable day yesterday. Ryan and I took shifts, but it was a loooooong night.

This morning, we've canceled our plans (my parents were going to care for Tessa tonight while Ryan and I went to a discussion/dinner at 'Chele & Dave's; the whole family was going to go to Caleb's egg hunt) and we're settling in for a quiet day. Ryan prepared 'a nest' for Tessa on the courch downstairs, and carried her downstairs to rest in front of the TV, propped up with pillows and blankets and coziness. But Ryan missed the bottom step (or two), and landed on his bad ankle, and found himself lying on the floor in agony. (Tessa was fine, he didn't drop her.) He's icing his ankle now and took two ibuprofen.

What the ****? ENOUGH! C'mon! What's next, locusts and floods? I'm TIRED! I need a break!!!!!!! I have enough on my plate. Enough, I tell you! This is getting ridiculous!

Vent over. Thanks for listening.

I read the affirmation from Daily Word today, and it was lovely. We had a family snuggle in bed this morning. Ryan brought me coffee in bed (before his ankle incident). Tessa is content to watch old Clifford episodes and snuggle her stuffed animals on the couch. I know it could be worse. I know, I know, I know. Lots to be grateful for.

But still.....

February and March Pictures

Signs of spring! We have beautiful crocuses in our garden, and the tulips and daffodils are starting to make themselves seen, as well. The primroses are happy in little pots, and they add a cheerfulness that I truly enjoy. The picture of a patch of dirt is an early picture of our garden - there's been progress since that picture was taken, but I haven't taken more pictures yet. First, it was a patch of weedy lawn; then, the whole thing was dug up, composted, and fertilized; then, Ryan took out the grass/weeds from under the bushes (to me they look like mini-cypress trees...no idea what they really are as they came with the house) and mulched it. This weekend, we hope to actually get some seeds in the ground, mulch between rows, and bury the soaker hose alongside.....

Tessa and Buttercup. Buttercup was a lovely visitor for two days, but then she was a lovely but smelly visitor. When Teacher Shelley asked, "Would you like to have her for spring break later this month?" I was emphatic with my "No, thank you." Shhhh don't tell Tessa!

Pictures from the recent visit with Grandma & Bopa, and a belated celebration of Bopa's 77th birthday...

Pictures from G.G's 85th birthday. I was very happy with the way my gift (her cake and cupcakes) turned out, decorated with fresh flowers. Kelton joined us, and he was a lovely companion, and he and Tessa charmed all the residents of Brittany Park with their excellent manners (and the fact that they're both adorable, of course!).

A huge sigh of relief

On Friday, when I picked up Tessa from preschool, I spied on her as she was playing at recess (I was there early). She was running around, interacting with kids, playing a game with two other girls, and laughing. No shy wallflower, she was utterly engaged. Her teachers (both of them) came to me and said, "Boy, Tessa sure changed! She was really out there today, playing and engaged," and I smiled and agreed.

It seems that Mama's coaching on how to interact might have made a little difference, with huge payoffs.

And today,we were validated again. Tessa was at "spirit play" (something akin to Sunday School) at WSUU, and the children were doing the stone soup story, and in charge of putting together the vegetable soup for the congregation to have at the social hour. At the end of the children's church, when it was time to pick Tessa up, Teacher Donna said, "Boy, Tessa really came out of her shell today!" and told me a similar story to what I'd heard on Friday.

This is music to my ears. It's not that I don't know my own child (gasp - that feeling felt AWFUL), or that she's incapable of interactions, it's that we just hadn't taught her the basics, since she's usually surrounded by children she knows well and doesn't have to try so hard.

I am blessed to have a child so willing to learn, and to take a little direction from her parents.

Tomorrow, we have a playdate with Kate from preschool, and this is part of our plan to help Tessa feel more comfortable at preschool.

Buttercup is doing well, by the way, but at this point when I walk into Tessa's room there is a distinctive odor. I keep scooping unmentionable things out of Buttercup's cage, but it's distinctly less fresh than it was when we got her on Friday. I may break down tomorrow to buy some new bedding because yechhhhhhhhh. I think I'm remembering why I vowed not to have any pet rodents, no matter how cute they are. And I think I'd like to have Buttercup overnight, more than I would like to have her for the weekend, if we do this again. It's not her fault - she lives in a cage, what else can she do? - but rodent poop is gross, and the fact that it's in my daughter's room is even more gross. She returns on Tuesday, adn although she has grown on me, it will definitely be time to say good-bye.

S is for Sparkles

Today is letter S day at preschool. Tessa wore a hairband with sparkles, a shirt with silver sparkles, a skirt with sparkles, and (of course) her ruby red sparkle shoes. Oh, yes, and a sparkly necklace. She was thrilled with her choices, and I couldn't help but smile over her enthusiasm.

Today is also Tessa's show and tell at preschool, and she brought Special Bear. She put a bow on him to dress him up, and she couldn't wait.

And best of all....today we're bringing Buttercup the guinea pig home for the weekend. She will live (in her cage) in Tessa's room, and Tessa will be in charge of her care (supervised, of course).

And in case you think it can't get any better for a five year old....it does!

In a few hours, Grandma and Bopa will arrive from Portland for a visit. Tessa knows what she wants to show them, all the things she wants to share with them, etc. Grandma is getting a special picture (I haven't seen it yet but Tessa's going on about it.) And then tonight, the Surface7 are coming, including Tessa's beloved Sari (her closest-in-age Surface cousin).

I am looking forward to these things, too, but NOTHING tops the enthusiasm of a small child, and I delight in that.

Which is good, because I feel crappy. My sore throat is moving into my chest, and I'm grouchy about that. But one day at a time, one day at a time....

Tomorrow night is my girls' night at Lori's for singalong Sound of Music (yes, I'm a dork, and I love being a dork - anyone who hasn't sung along to SOM is missing out in life!). At this rate, I won't be doing much singing....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Okay, off to chores. A loaf of bread to make, Tessa's room to tidy, one more bathroom to clean. I wore gardening clothes today on the off chance that I could even fit in some more weeding before Tessa's pick up, but this may be overly optimistic....

And we're off.

Winding down

Sunday night, and we're winding down. Ryan is reading Tessa stories, and I'm logged in here for a moment before going to bed early myself.

Yesterday we got part of the front yard weeded and mulched, and Ryan dug half of the vegetable garden. Both of us were too exhausted to finish the project, so next weekend we'll be doing more of same. I'm joking that my "mulch muscles" were out of shape...perhaps by the end of the weekend they'll be better. I'll try to garden an hour a day this week and see how much I can get done before the weekend. I guess that's how I must plan my weeks if I am to become a gardener.

Church today was on a topic of particular interest to me, and I walked away with many interesting thoughts to contemplate throughout the week. At its best, that is what church does for me, adn I appreciate the peace that comes with that. My friend Bryona joined us today to test out the church, too, and I enjoyed her presence (and singing!) there, as well.

We went to the Farmer's Market, and I mentioned to the bean-seller that the beans hadn't worked out. He apologized and gave me more for free. I really like him - nice guy, good stuff, good business. I appreciate this kind of customer service, and it makes me more loyal to him. At its best, the Farmer's Market is about personal relationships, not just produce, and I like that.

I did, however, cut back on some of my Farmer's Market purchases, deciding that the meat was just too spendy. Our local grocery store had a special on meat today ("12 hour sale!") that I happened upon because we were out of milk, and I was able to get organic, free range, grass fed, etc. for pretty low prices. Good thing, because despite all this cutting back we're not on budget, and I have no idea how we'll hit budget this week with all of the garden purchases (fertilizer, compost, seeds, etc.) that we continue to make. The pay-off should be worth it....right?!

Tonight the Hisatomi's had us over for a lovely dinner (we brought wine, home made bread, and salad; they provided an amazing home made lasagna with butternut squash, kale, ricotta - YUM) and it was a nice way to end our week.

Not much reflection tonight, just what we did today. Tessa is well, silly as ever, and acting her extroverted self. She went over to our neighbors' house to deliver a picture she'd made them, and came back five minutes later to announce to me, "I invited Sarah to have a glass of wine; she'll be here in five minutes," which had me spluttering with laughter and saying "WHAT?" - fortunately Sarah has a great sense of humor and enjoys Tessa, so she got a good laugh out of Tessa's precocious invitation, as well. No wonder when the teacher said that Tessa was unusually quiet I had a hard time imagining it, when this is what I see most often. (Yes, I know, different at school; different with people she's more used to; different with adults than kids; different when mom and dad are right there, etc.)

Good night, all.