Tonight was a meeting, at our home, for new lay leaders. At our church, Rev. Peg leads the service twice a month, and on the remaining two services per month we have guest speakers and lay leaders. The lay leader's job is to hold the service together, lead the unison affirmation, share opening words, lead the sharing of joys and sorrows, lead the congregation in prayer or meditative thought, etc.
I was asked to be a lay leader (along with two others), and tonight I received my training as such. It is a big responsibility, and one that I don't take lightly. I will lead my first service in about six weeks, and so I'll have to get to work on that.
This is a part of my spiritual growth. I have never truly belonged to a church before; I've attended, but I've never been a true member. My soul feels at peace with the church we have chosen, and with each day that passes I feel the fit even more. I know that I have a great deal to learn from Rev. Peg, for I believe that she is a wise woman and teacher.
I am embracing this, and I already feel the rewards.
But now I'm tired, and bed calls. Good night!
Showing posts with label WSUU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WSUU. Show all posts
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Truth and Right Relations
Today's WSUU sermon was lovely, and timely for me.
The children's story was about how to tell the truth - a child tells a lie to her mother and is punished, so she vows to tell the truth all the time. She starts to volunteer truth, some of which is not kind, and so the other children start to get angry and leave her out. As I listened, I thought, "is this the message I am meant to hear?" but the story continued. A neighbor says, "Isn't my garden perfect?" and the child hesitantly (remembering how the children reacted to her truth-telling) says, "Umm, it looks like a jungle." At first, the neighbor is upset. But the next day, the child comes by and the neighbor is working in her garden, and says, "You know, you were right, it had gotten pretty wild," and the neighbor and child happily work together to restore the garden.
The adult sermon was about right relations, and about "staying at the table" to have the difficult conversations. This, too, is about telling the truth in kind ways. But it is not about letting things smooth over, letting things that are troublesome slip by in an effort not to make waves. It is about being true to one's ideals, while leaving room to hear others' viewpoints. It is about honoring one's self, while being compassionate towards others. It is about openness.
The sermon posed the idea that when we just sit back, and remove our viewpoint from the conversation, we are being false, and ensuring that there is no depth to the relationship. The trick, it seems, is to remain true to one's own values while allowing others to remain true to their own DIFFERENT values, and to accept such differences.
The sermon also pointed out that this could lead to chaos, and usually does. Even when offered in the right spirit, with thoughtfulness and openness, stating one's differences can cause quite a reaction. The speaker (a guest reverend this week) stated that this is good, and perhaps even necessary, because through this chaos a new, deeper meaning can be found. She also acknowledged that new meaning was not always found,and that sometimes the chaos is the final result.
This is what I'm thinking about tonight. It's interesting, and comforting, and confusing (how does one know when to speak up, and in what way to speak up?) and I'm grateful for the oportunity to mull it over.
In thinking through speaking up for my own ideas, I think I need to ask myself:
- Am I being truthful AND kind?
- am I honoring myself and others by speaking up?
- am I willing to endure chaos?
- (and a subset of that one) in enduring chaos, can I stand tall and confident?
- is there a possibility for greater depth of relationship through the telling of such truths?
The trick, I see, is to be compassionate toward self and others at the same time.
I am so glad that I'm being given this information to think about. I appreciate the chance to work on the spiritual side of myself in a structured way, because without the structure I feel a little lost in wondering how to work it out and through.
The children's story was about how to tell the truth - a child tells a lie to her mother and is punished, so she vows to tell the truth all the time. She starts to volunteer truth, some of which is not kind, and so the other children start to get angry and leave her out. As I listened, I thought, "is this the message I am meant to hear?" but the story continued. A neighbor says, "Isn't my garden perfect?" and the child hesitantly (remembering how the children reacted to her truth-telling) says, "Umm, it looks like a jungle." At first, the neighbor is upset. But the next day, the child comes by and the neighbor is working in her garden, and says, "You know, you were right, it had gotten pretty wild," and the neighbor and child happily work together to restore the garden.
The adult sermon was about right relations, and about "staying at the table" to have the difficult conversations. This, too, is about telling the truth in kind ways. But it is not about letting things smooth over, letting things that are troublesome slip by in an effort not to make waves. It is about being true to one's ideals, while leaving room to hear others' viewpoints. It is about honoring one's self, while being compassionate towards others. It is about openness.
The sermon posed the idea that when we just sit back, and remove our viewpoint from the conversation, we are being false, and ensuring that there is no depth to the relationship. The trick, it seems, is to remain true to one's own values while allowing others to remain true to their own DIFFERENT values, and to accept such differences.
The sermon also pointed out that this could lead to chaos, and usually does. Even when offered in the right spirit, with thoughtfulness and openness, stating one's differences can cause quite a reaction. The speaker (a guest reverend this week) stated that this is good, and perhaps even necessary, because through this chaos a new, deeper meaning can be found. She also acknowledged that new meaning was not always found,and that sometimes the chaos is the final result.
This is what I'm thinking about tonight. It's interesting, and comforting, and confusing (how does one know when to speak up, and in what way to speak up?) and I'm grateful for the oportunity to mull it over.
In thinking through speaking up for my own ideas, I think I need to ask myself:
- Am I being truthful AND kind?
- am I honoring myself and others by speaking up?
- am I willing to endure chaos?
- (and a subset of that one) in enduring chaos, can I stand tall and confident?
- is there a possibility for greater depth of relationship through the telling of such truths?
The trick, I see, is to be compassionate toward self and others at the same time.
I am so glad that I'm being given this information to think about. I appreciate the chance to work on the spiritual side of myself in a structured way, because without the structure I feel a little lost in wondering how to work it out and through.
Pictures from the weekend
The weekend was filled with busy adventures: our yard sale, Tessa's blessing, and Mother's Day Brunch. Here are a few tastes of our busy days.
GG (Grandma) playing piano with Tessa - they did a duet (of sorts - Grandma played a tune, anyway!).
Not the best picture, but it does show how much Tessa and Krystal love to bond. 
Joshua (Jockey) and Camille on the teeter-totter.
Four generations of Dahl women: Krystal, Grandma, Mom, Tessa and I (on our back deck, after Mother's Day brunch at our house).
Cousin Caleb - he played monkey on the swingset and I loved watching his joy and antics.
Pseudo-serious - Mike and Dad posing in our back yard.
Heather and I - with a passel of kids in the background! (And I can't help but noticing....ugh I hate the way my chest looks. In October, with the next surgery, it will be smaller. It had better be, anyway.)
Sweet Camille and silly Kelton with his cow. 
From our yard sale: Tessa's lemonade stand.
Tessa, Anna, and Cassie at the lemonade stand. They made over $40 for Habitat for Humanity, had a great time....and got to drink lemonade.
At Tessa's child blessing today.
The family! Mother's Day Brunch.
My mom (Mum) and I together on Mother's Day. Love you, Mum!
Tessa, Anna, and Cassie at the lemonade stand. They made over $40 for Habitat for Humanity, had a great time....and got to drink lemonade.
At Tessa's child blessing today.
The family! Mother's Day Brunch.
My mom (Mum) and I together on Mother's Day. Love you, Mum!
Not the best picture, but it does show how much Tessa and Krystal love to bond. Joshua (Jockey) and Camille on the teeter-totter.Four generations of Dahl women: Krystal, Grandma, Mom, Tessa and I (on our back deck, after Mother's Day brunch at our house).Pseudo-serious - Mike and Dad posing in our back yard.Heather and I - with a passel of kids in the background! (And I can't help but noticing....ugh I hate the way my chest looks. In October, with the next surgery, it will be smaller. It had better be, anyway.)
Sweet Camille and silly Kelton with his cow.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Two places at once
Despite my desire to live in the moment, I often wish that I could be in two places at once.
Tomorrow, after the WSUU service, there is a peace march from the service to the Alaska Junction. Mother's Day was founded by Unitarian activist Julia Ward Howe in 1870 as a proclamation for mothers to protest sending their children to war. There is still too much war in the world, and today, more than ever, this message is appropriate and necessary.
To mothers who have children fighting wars, near and far: bless you. My mother's heart aches for you. I deeply, deeply wish that your children could return home to you, safe and sound.
We tell Tessa at home, "Hitting is not a solution! Use your words to work it out!" and oh how I deeply wish that the world could operate on the same principles.
After the peace march, there will be the singing of a hymn, "We are a gentle angry people."
http://www.hollynear.com/lyrics/singing.for.our.lives.html
I am proud to be a UU. I am proud that there will be peaceful marching, peaceful protest. If I could be in two places at once, I'd be there!
Tomorrow, after the WSUU service, there is a peace march from the service to the Alaska Junction. Mother's Day was founded by Unitarian activist Julia Ward Howe in 1870 as a proclamation for mothers to protest sending their children to war. There is still too much war in the world, and today, more than ever, this message is appropriate and necessary.
To mothers who have children fighting wars, near and far: bless you. My mother's heart aches for you. I deeply, deeply wish that your children could return home to you, safe and sound.
We tell Tessa at home, "Hitting is not a solution! Use your words to work it out!" and oh how I deeply wish that the world could operate on the same principles.
After the peace march, there will be the singing of a hymn, "We are a gentle angry people."
http://www.hollynear.com/lyrics/singing.for.our.lives.html
I am proud to be a UU. I am proud that there will be peaceful marching, peaceful protest. If I could be in two places at once, I'd be there!
Glad that's done!
Our yard sale was a success. We got rid of a bunch of stuff we didn't need, and we made a bit of cash. Tessa's lemonade stand was a huge success for both her and Anna - they made $40 to donate to Habitat for Humanity! We will definitely repeat the lemonade stand; we were grateful that Tessa could do something hands-on to save the world, and we hope that she keeps the lesson in her heart, internalizing it and making it a part of her. When the Habitat house is done, I hope she sees it and thinks, "Because of me, a family has a better life. My part was small but it was IMPORTANT!" I hope that this is one of many, many lessons on this subject.
And now of course, we're tired. Tessa and Anna are over and playing nicely, and I'm taking a break here for a moment before getting back to cooking and cleaning. Tonight is Michele's party and I'm making a mango salsa (mangos on sale at Costco....the frugal part of me is satisfied, but the environmental part - distance, non-organic, plastic packaging - is dismayed.....) which I've done before and it's delicious.
Tomorrow will be a very busy day for us.
We will attend church in the morning, and Tessa is being blessed as a member of WSUU. I'm delighted to have her do this joining into the WSUU community; I want her to feel at home there. The ceremony is not about divine favor as much as it is about community and faith, and it warms my heart to think of it. I am exceedingly grateful that we found WSUU when Tessa was so young, so that she may grow up with its reinforcement of our values.
After church, my family (GG, Mom & Dad, Mike, Krystal, and boys....as well as Heather, Jenny and kids, because their hubbies are leaving on business trips) will join us for brunch. Tonight I'm making a french toast dish that soaks overnight and bakes in the oven - yummmm. And I'm making a blueberry coffee cake, scrambled eggs, bacon, and fruit salad. Coffee, juice, and voila'! It's all simple food, but I have some work to do before it's all done. I'm hoping for elegant casual - the kids will run around like crazy, of course, and hopefully the adults will get to chat. If the weather's good, the kids will gulp down their food and then play on the swingset, and that will work well for ALL parties!
(And jsut for the record - last weekend was my Mother's Day downtime. This weekend, it's all family and church and yard sales and cooking and parties....and that's a-okay with me. I am grateful to have these people in my life, and to share my life in these ways.)
To the mothers in my life: Thank you for encouraging me to be the best mother I know how to be. Thank you for modeling such incredible mothering, so that I can learn from you. Thank you for helping me when I go astray in my mothering. And thank you for helping to mother my daughter, so that she knows that she's got her real mama, but she's got dozens of helper-mamas too, who care about her and share her joys and sorrows.
And to my real & actual mother: I love you, Mum. I wouldn't be who I am without your help and guidance. I am grateful for your constant presence in my life, for your laughter and friendship and guideance. I have known since birth how deeply I was loved, and this gift is the best I could ever have received, and the one I most hope to give Tessa. Thank you, Mom, for believing in me through thick and thin, and for being such a wonderful mother. I love you!
And now of course, we're tired. Tessa and Anna are over and playing nicely, and I'm taking a break here for a moment before getting back to cooking and cleaning. Tonight is Michele's party and I'm making a mango salsa (mangos on sale at Costco....the frugal part of me is satisfied, but the environmental part - distance, non-organic, plastic packaging - is dismayed.....) which I've done before and it's delicious.
Tomorrow will be a very busy day for us.
We will attend church in the morning, and Tessa is being blessed as a member of WSUU. I'm delighted to have her do this joining into the WSUU community; I want her to feel at home there. The ceremony is not about divine favor as much as it is about community and faith, and it warms my heart to think of it. I am exceedingly grateful that we found WSUU when Tessa was so young, so that she may grow up with its reinforcement of our values.
After church, my family (GG, Mom & Dad, Mike, Krystal, and boys....as well as Heather, Jenny and kids, because their hubbies are leaving on business trips) will join us for brunch. Tonight I'm making a french toast dish that soaks overnight and bakes in the oven - yummmm. And I'm making a blueberry coffee cake, scrambled eggs, bacon, and fruit salad. Coffee, juice, and voila'! It's all simple food, but I have some work to do before it's all done. I'm hoping for elegant casual - the kids will run around like crazy, of course, and hopefully the adults will get to chat. If the weather's good, the kids will gulp down their food and then play on the swingset, and that will work well for ALL parties!
(And jsut for the record - last weekend was my Mother's Day downtime. This weekend, it's all family and church and yard sales and cooking and parties....and that's a-okay with me. I am grateful to have these people in my life, and to share my life in these ways.)
To the mothers in my life: Thank you for encouraging me to be the best mother I know how to be. Thank you for modeling such incredible mothering, so that I can learn from you. Thank you for helping me when I go astray in my mothering. And thank you for helping to mother my daughter, so that she knows that she's got her real mama, but she's got dozens of helper-mamas too, who care about her and share her joys and sorrows.
And to my real & actual mother: I love you, Mum. I wouldn't be who I am without your help and guidance. I am grateful for your constant presence in my life, for your laughter and friendship and guideance. I have known since birth how deeply I was loved, and this gift is the best I could ever have received, and the one I most hope to give Tessa. Thank you, Mom, for believing in me through thick and thin, and for being such a wonderful mother. I love you!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Happiness Runs
The musical director at WSUU has some diverse selections, and a few weeks ago she chose an old song, "Happiness Runs" by Donovan, and we sang it in a round.
It gets into my head sometimes, and out of this sweet little bit of silliness, I'm finding deep thoughts.
"Happiness runs in a circular motion,
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea;
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Happiness runs, happiness runs...
Why? Oh, because..."
Today this song is playing it's merry way through my head and making me smile. I really believe that we can not be happy until we're making others' lives happy (that's the circular motion) and that living according to our innermost personal values is the key to our happiness. We are all connected to one another, and there is no escaping it. Our thoughts bob about and change and shift with the currants, but we are all interconnected and if we accept this interconnectedness and listen to our inner voices, we'll be happy. Happiness is out there, running around waiting for us. Why? It just "is." Whether it is God's will, the workings of an intricate universe, or something intrinsic nature is unknown to us. But it is.
I'm working a lot on happiness lately - as a matter of fact, it's ALL I'm working on. A friend asked me if that was not the wrong approach (what about peacefulness? compassion? wisdom? love?) and my response is that happiness, TRUE happiness, is the result of all of those things. If I want to be happy I need to live according to those other values. The result of peacefulness, compassion, wisdom, and love must be happiness, I think.
The Dalai Lama spoke of this, much more eloquently than I ever could. He talked about "good selfish" and "bad selfish." "Good selfish" is what I'm trying for. I wish to be happy, and that could be seen as selfish. But the thing is, I want deep and true happiness, the kind where my mind is not nagging me that I've done something wrong, and to get that kind of happiness, I must be generous in other ways. The end result, I hope, is my internal happiness; the external result, though, is improving the world around me and other's happiness (and this is the "good" part of "good selfish"). It is not wrong to be motivated by what feels good, the Dalai Lama said, when the world benefits.
("Bad selfish" is living only for the moment, regardless of its impact on others. I might throw out angry words because it feels good in the moment to be "right," but in the end, these words hurt me as well as others because I know that hurting someone is never justified. I might do something bad to the earth because it's convenient to me, but to do so is foolish, because in the end I pay the price, and my selfishness harms others AND myself.)
Apologies to the Dalai Lama for saying this so much less eloquently than he did, but it has struck me in profound ways and I'm really trying to live according to these values.
So, today, where-ever you are, and whoever you are, I hope that you feel happy. I hope that you feel that little bubbling happiness inside of you that says "I know who I am. I know I'm doing the right thing." I hope you find many reasons to laugh, and to feel deep joy.
Love,
Kristina
PS My joy of the day: Dancing with Tessa. Tomorrow is my official lifting of the 10 pound restriction, and I figured that neither my body nor the plastic surgeon would know if I was 14 hours early. I put "Happiness Runs" music on, and Tessa and I danced with her in my arms, complete with dips. Tessa's joy at being held close by her mama was tangible, and gladdened me in ways that maybe only another mother can understand. Talk about healing...Tessa laughed and held me close and told me that she loved me "more than the trees....more than the hummingbirds....more than a sidewalk." Despite my confusion at why I'm being compared to slabs of concrete :-) this moment will stay with me for a long, long time.
It gets into my head sometimes, and out of this sweet little bit of silliness, I'm finding deep thoughts.
"Happiness runs in a circular motion,
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea;
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Happiness runs, happiness runs...
Why? Oh, because..."
Today this song is playing it's merry way through my head and making me smile. I really believe that we can not be happy until we're making others' lives happy (that's the circular motion) and that living according to our innermost personal values is the key to our happiness. We are all connected to one another, and there is no escaping it. Our thoughts bob about and change and shift with the currants, but we are all interconnected and if we accept this interconnectedness and listen to our inner voices, we'll be happy. Happiness is out there, running around waiting for us. Why? It just "is." Whether it is God's will, the workings of an intricate universe, or something intrinsic nature is unknown to us. But it is.
I'm working a lot on happiness lately - as a matter of fact, it's ALL I'm working on. A friend asked me if that was not the wrong approach (what about peacefulness? compassion? wisdom? love?) and my response is that happiness, TRUE happiness, is the result of all of those things. If I want to be happy I need to live according to those other values. The result of peacefulness, compassion, wisdom, and love must be happiness, I think.
The Dalai Lama spoke of this, much more eloquently than I ever could. He talked about "good selfish" and "bad selfish." "Good selfish" is what I'm trying for. I wish to be happy, and that could be seen as selfish. But the thing is, I want deep and true happiness, the kind where my mind is not nagging me that I've done something wrong, and to get that kind of happiness, I must be generous in other ways. The end result, I hope, is my internal happiness; the external result, though, is improving the world around me and other's happiness (and this is the "good" part of "good selfish"). It is not wrong to be motivated by what feels good, the Dalai Lama said, when the world benefits.
("Bad selfish" is living only for the moment, regardless of its impact on others. I might throw out angry words because it feels good in the moment to be "right," but in the end, these words hurt me as well as others because I know that hurting someone is never justified. I might do something bad to the earth because it's convenient to me, but to do so is foolish, because in the end I pay the price, and my selfishness harms others AND myself.)
Apologies to the Dalai Lama for saying this so much less eloquently than he did, but it has struck me in profound ways and I'm really trying to live according to these values.
So, today, where-ever you are, and whoever you are, I hope that you feel happy. I hope that you feel that little bubbling happiness inside of you that says "I know who I am. I know I'm doing the right thing." I hope you find many reasons to laugh, and to feel deep joy.
Love,
Kristina
PS My joy of the day: Dancing with Tessa. Tomorrow is my official lifting of the 10 pound restriction, and I figured that neither my body nor the plastic surgeon would know if I was 14 hours early. I put "Happiness Runs" music on, and Tessa and I danced with her in my arms, complete with dips. Tessa's joy at being held close by her mama was tangible, and gladdened me in ways that maybe only another mother can understand. Talk about healing...Tessa laughed and held me close and told me that she loved me "more than the trees....more than the hummingbirds....more than a sidewalk." Despite my confusion at why I'm being compared to slabs of concrete :-) this moment will stay with me for a long, long time.
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