Now, where was I?

I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.~Henry David Thoreau

I do not exactly know why I haven't blogged in ages - this is my longest blogging break since beginning to blog - but I do know that life has been busy and I've been hunting down my marrow. I can't tell you that I've reached any grand conclusions, or that I have anything in particular figured out, just that I'm nesting, trying to care for my actual nest (home), body, and soul. I'm trying to figure out how to cram in as much joy and depth as possible, while still living simply...without rushing. I have a feeling that this is a goal I will never reach, but I will continue to reach in the general direction.

I suppose my biggest change since my blog break is that I re-joined Weight Watchers. I've been on it for almost two weeks, I've dropped a few pounds, and I feel VERY happy about the direction I'm headed. One day, I just woke up and realized I'd had enough. I took Shep for a long walk through Lincoln Park, and I sort of meditated on the problem of size and health. By the end of my walk, I knew what I needed to do. Of course, I knew all along, but somehow, I just felt settled in the decision, and committed. I am not too worried about losing the weight, because I've done it before and I have faith in my ability to do it again, but I am very concerned about keeping it off. One step at a time; I am up for the challenge. I am trying to live in the present moment....but I'm fantasizing about what I'll look like six or twelve weeks from now.

Fall always makes me want to clean house - much more than spring, when all I want to do is be outdoors. This year, I'm cleaning mentally and physically, and Weight Watchers is part of that for me. I'm also on a rampage to get rid of stuff - anything that's cluttering my life, including old paperwork, weight, Tessa's old toys, clothes, any anything else that isn't either functional or beautiful. I've been striving to declutter the surfaces of our home, and doing so makes me feel more rested within myself.

Speaking of rested, I'm not. I'm tired, pretty much always. I'm trying to learn to adapt to this version of myself, and though it's frustrating, I think I'm learning to slow down.

I am getting very excited about the holidays, as usual. This year, most of the Surface clan - 16 of us total - is gathering at our house for Thanksgiving, and I've started putting together recipes and making a plan for that week. I can't wait to have our house filled to bursting, with the chaos of so many people talking and laughing and eating. Usually I do the holidays in a formal style, but this year I'm going to try a buffet, casual style that is more relaxed. Ryan is very happy about the prospect of avoiding hours hand washing china and crystal, too. (I have to have it for Christmas...but that is a smaller crowd so easier.) Our out of town relatives are coming just for the day, so we won't have any houseguests this year. I actually love having houseguests, but it will also be nice to wake up the day after Thanksgiving and have "nothing to do." (We do plan to go to the holiday parade downtown, though.)

Tessa is well, Ryan is well, and I am well. Busy with life, but well. I have some wishes out in the universe right now, and I'll let you know if they come true for our family...time will tell. But I am grateful for health, grateful for family and friends, and life is good.