Done with chemo!

Well, folks, I did it. Sixteen chemo completed! When the machine beeped that I was done, a collective cheer went up. The prayer is that I never have to do this again. The party, however, was lovely, with friends and family coming by, and all the nurses stopping in to congratulate me. Thank you to those who came by to offer support, and to all those who left email and telephone messages for me. :-)

Right now the Benedryl (which makes me sleepy) and the Decadron (which makes me feel like I've had too much caffiene) are duking it out, and the Benedryl is winning, so I'm off to bed. Love to all!

Love,
Kristina

Sixteen is my lucky number

Today is number sixteen of sixteen. In July, when I started chemo, I could barely imagine what it would feel like to be done. Today, I will begin to find out! I dread the next week, but I am thrilled at the prospect of next Tuesday, when I'll be feeling a bit better, and I will start to feel better every day without knocking myself down with another chemo.

Some friends and family have agreed to meet me at the hospital for a final chemo party - hey, you know me, any excuse to have a party is a good one! I'll provide a cheese platter, cupcakes, and eclairs...and my friends and family will provide me with distraction so that I don't run out of the hospital screaming before it's done.

This is a time for reflection. After a few days, I'm sure that reflection will make it to the blog. ;-)

Love,
Kristina

The energy crisis

Well, after my last post I crashed again. Not unexpected, so not even disappointing. After a couple of activities on Saturday, I was just wiped out, and found myself crawling into my PJs just after 5pm to go to bed. Ryan brought me dinner on a tray (thank you to Ryan for delivering and Natasha for making...that meal fed us twice!) and I went to bed and to sleep early.

Today I feel better, though not lively, and I went to the Farmer's Market with Michele & Lori to do some more 3-Day fundraising. I am very pleased to say that we've brought in about $500 in cash (and one check) to date (and this is not yet reflected on the fundraising website as we're holding on to the cash to make just one deposit after our last winter day at the market, Dec. 18). The little bit here, little bit there, method of collecting donations is certainly making a difference, and I really have enjoyed spending time with Lori & Michele at the market, as well as with the Barnes & Noble group (Lori, Michele, Holly, and Donna....plus Jenny, who came after I left so I'm sorry I missed her).

Off to rest again now. Only a few more days 'til my last chemo!
Love,
K

A burst of energy

I have no idea where it came from, but in the past day I have actually been very active. Yesterday I took Tessa to preschool, then headed to a playdate with Marilyn & Damien (lovely), then came home to address Christmas cards and do a few chores, and then headed out to bookclub. This morning Ryan has Tessa at preschool, and I've added a few more Christmas cards to the pile now that I have their addresses, and in a moment I'll head off to the post office. Later today I'm going to Barnes & Noble in West Seattle to wrap presents as a fundraiser for the 3-Day, and I'm looking forward to hanging out with my girlfriends there, and to making progress on our fundraising goals.

I will take energy where I can find it, even if I have no idea where it's coming from! I hope that today finds you well, as well.

Love,
Kristina

Fifteen down, ONE TO GO!

One isn't so much. I can handle one more. Plus, I'm turning it into a party, and that makes it more fun.

Hurrah for the end of chemo - soon!
Kristina

Before and During (a.k.a. check out my head fuzz!)

I'm still waiting for the "after" pictures, of course. Here are two of my favorite pictures of myself (one was taken the day before my mastectomy with my hair "styled", with Carolyn & Susan; the other was taken at Daven's birthday party, with my hair air-dried, in July and is with Holly)...and here is the picture that I know you're dying to see: head fuzz! I don't have hair but I do have fuzz. Not bad for a girl still in chemo... I still consider myself bald, but there is hope for the future.

I used to loathe my hair. I was actually embarrassed by my hair. That seems so ridiculous now! Those pictures of the "old" me take my breath away - I can hardly believe that I looked so healthy. I look forward to more days with a full head of hair to follow.

Kristina

Updates

A couple more pictures for your viewing pleasure - one of Tessa and I at The Nutcracker, and one of Tessa being silly at the Santa breakfast last weekend.

I haven't been updating online very much because I have just been worn out. Every day we try to do one fun activity, but that's all that I have in me, and after that I find myself laying down or watching TV, but not reading or updating the blog. I seriously wonder if my brain has atrophied in this process - I truly hope that as I recover from chemo that my braincells will return along with my energy.

Last Saturday morning we took Tessa to the West Seattle Kiwanis Santa Breakfast benefiting Toys for Tots, and at the last minute the Perrys, the Braddock-Reifels, and the Starkey-Burdetts joined us there as well, making it quite the party. The girls (Nina, Lexi, and Tessa) ran around having a grand time, and Tessa sat with Santa and asked him for a pony. (We have explained to Tessa that she can't have a live pony in West Seattle - our yard isn't big enough and we don't have a barn. I'm a bit worried that she expects a live pony under the Christmas tree....!) We were supposed to go to Warm Beach with the Dahl clan that afternoon, and we'd hoped to go to Shannon & Doug's party, but since Saturday is my hard day and those things occurred later in the afternoon, we had to cancel attending both events, and I laid low. Bah humbug.

Then, on Sunday, finally, The Nutcracker! Tessa wore her fancy Christmas dress (as pictured in the last post) and we headed to McCaw Hall to see the Pacific Northwest Ballet. I had spoken to Tessa quite a bit about how this was a very special event, and that it was important not to make too much noise while the dancers and musicians were performing, and that I expected her to be on her best behavior. She heard what I said, and indeed, she behaved beyond my wildest dreams. Tessa was an angel throughout the performance, even turning to quietly whisper "Shhhh!" at the girls behind us who were chatting. (I quietly explained to Tessa that their mother could shush them, but that I appreciated how quiet Tessa was being.) Tessa sat on Grandpa's lap for most of the performance, and her eyes were even bigger than usual as she watched the dancers leap, twirl, spin, and cavort across the stage.

Tessa's favorite part was "the ponies." (During the mock battle with the toy soldiers and the mice, some soldiers come out on horseback.) However, she seemed to enjoy every minute, and actually laughed and clapped when the whirling dervish with Chinese dancers came out, and again when the peacock came out.

At the very end, with less than five minutes to go, Tessa crawled into my lap and said, "Mommy, when do I get to dance in The Nutcracker?" I promised her that if she wanted to, in a few years, we could try. Tessa does love her dance class, and who knows? Maybe on Sunday a ballerina was inspired.

My mom ("Grammy") gave Tessa a Clara ornament for the tree, and Tessa clasps it to her chest and dances with it...she'd sleep with it if we let her. (We do not. She's already broken off one foot, which we re-glued.)

And as for me? I'm not sure if I enjoyed Tessa's responses or the actual performance more. It's been a long time since I've been to the ballet, and I truly loved the beauty and grace of the dancers. (My personal favorite parts are the dance of the snowflakes, the dance of the sugarplum fairies, and the peacock.) I enjoyed getting dressed up, spending time with family, holding Ryan's hand during the performance, seeing all of the other people at the hall...really, I did enjoy every part (and I'm reminded how much I enjoy the ballet, symphony, and attending plays...I must do that more!). But I have to say that these things are at best only equal to the joy I felt in sharing all of this with Tessa. I think that Sunday was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream - sharing the festivities and the joy with my daughter, and seeing her enjoy it as much as I did, created a memory that will never fade. Sharing that memory with Ryan, my parents, and my grandmother only made it sweeter.

While I was at The Nutcracker, Lori & Michele were at the Farmer's Market, fundraising for our 3-Day team. They have made quite a bit of progress in fundraising already, and I'm so proud of them. We have a team of eight individuals so far, and we welcome others to join as well. It is going to be a fabulous event, and certainly I believe that the money is going to an amazing cause. I have received a few donations recently through the website from people I've never met, and this amazes me - thank you SO much to those who have donated. I'm touched by your generousity and spirit of giving.

And as for my health, and updates? Well, I will be glad to be done with chemo, that's for certain. Just when I think my energy is at all time lows, it hits another low, and this is frustrating. I can not "push through" the fatigue sometimes, and all I can do is lay down, and I hate that. But, it is what it is. Current symptoms from treatment include:
- Weight gain in the neighborhood of 15-20 pounds. UGH.
- Digestive woes. I still take Zofran (for nausea) with some regularity, and my digestive tract is a mess. (I will spare the details. It's not pretty.) Part of this is acid reflux, apparently...another side effect of the drugs.
- Nose bleeds. Taxol has dried out the membranes in my nose so that when I wipe my nose (which I must do constantly) it bleeds a bit.
- Neuropathy. I can not really feel the soles of my feet or my toes any more, and my pinky fingers and ring fingers are slightly numb as well.
- Fatigue.
- Insomnia. I take a sleeping pill every night and still have trouble sleeping through the night.
- Chemobrain. I can barely remember my own name. Horrible!
- Hot and cold flashes. If I'm not freezing, I'm frying. My thermostat is completely broken!
- Mouth sores. These feel a lot like cankers. Fortunately, I have prescription lozenges that help.
- Lymphedema. I'm in physical therapy now and I do manual lymphatic massage to help out; soon I will get fitted for a sleeve and glove to wear when I travel. This comes and goes, and mine is mild, but I still don't like it. My index finger looks like a sausage!
- I still don't have 100% mobility in my left arm (surgery side). The physical therapist is working on this with me.
- Bald. I have fuzz all over my head that really is growing, but this is not "real" hair and I want real hair! (I will have to post a picture soon of my fuzzy head, so others can see.)
- No eyebrows or eyelashes left at all. Yuck.
- Skin breakouts. All I can say to this is "You've got to be kidding!" Apparently, the steroid is the contributor to this. Bah humbug.

Maybe I've missed some things, but there it is. Today is chemo number fifteen, and next week is the last one. I truly look forward to that celebration! I know that radiation isn't "easy" but it's supposed to be a cakewalk compared to chemo, and I'm hoping and counting on that.

The good news, after that list of complaints? It isn't as bad as it could be. I am still able to enjoy myself sometimes. Yesterday, when Ryan was taking Tessa to Grammy & Grandpa's house, I actually walked (not quickly!) from my house to Michele's house, with a break at a coffee shop in the middle. I was able to enjoy the Nutcracker. There are small pockets of time when I am able to forget all of this, and there is great joy in that.

I hope that you are well - I send my love!
Kristina

The Nutcracker

A few pictures to capture the moments of the day... Descriptions of the day to follow!

Today is number fourteen

Fourteen is a much larger number to me than it ever used to be. I'm amazed to have come this far....but I'm also amazed to think of how far away sixteen feels.

The past week has passed by slowly. We had a good Thanksgiving day with my family, and I took particular joy in watching Tessa and Caleb play and enjoy one another's company. I am delighted that Tessa has a cousin her age that she sees so often, and I hope that they will share a lifetime of friendship with her cousins. Little Joshua is not far behind these two, I know, and I look forward to the day when the three children are playing games together.


Thanksgiving, my parents hosted us, and we feasted on turkey and all the trimmings. We also spent some time at the club, which was closed for the holiday (nice to have that in the family!), and Mike & Ryan played basketball, while my mom & I did some (very slow) walking around the track, and then all of us (plus my dad, the kids, and Krystal) hung out at the hot tub to relax before heading back up to the house for the big meal. It was very relaxing - thanks, Mom & Dad! The next day, we were able to visit at Eric & Alice's house, and see their guests (our friends) Jaki & Russ, Scott & Karen and to enjoy leftovers. I hung out with Jaki, Russ, and Karen while the other adults took the four kids up to the park to play soccer in the covered play structure (a wonderful idea for a very rainy day), and we all visited.

Somewhere in the past few days, I picked up a nasty cold/infection...the very last thing I needed. It comes with a cough and congestion and the usual nastiness of a chest cold, and I have less-than-usual-good-humor about it. On Monday I went on antibiotics, and I was prescribed a five day dosage, and hopefully that will clear it up completely.

Aside from that, pretty much the only other thing I've done in a week is, together with Ryan & Tessa, put up the Christmas tree. This is earlier than I've EVER done it before, but we were motivated by two things: first, that it is absolutely delightful to see Tessa get excited about Christmas and its trimmings, and it seems fitting to draw that out as long as possible; and second, bringing in the Christmas season seems to draw closer the end of chemo. I sit on the couch and watch Tessa redecorate the lower half of the tree for an hour at a time (she is truly fascinated by it, and loves her active roll in the decorating) each day, while I try to remember that at the height of this season I will be DONE with being poisoned...if Christmas is right around the corner, then the end of chemo must be close, as well.

My ability to deal with chemo, its side effects, and its emotional toll seems to be ending. I'm tired to the point that simple things completely wear me out, and I'm oh-so-tired of the digestive tract woes, numbness in hands and feet, BALDNESS (yes I have a head of fuzz, which is a wonderful step in the right direction....but it's FUZZ and you can still see my scalp: I want REAL hair just like everyone else), insomnia....etc, etc, etc. It's whining to keep repeating my list but it really is taking a physical toll on me.

I hold Tessa sometimes and just tell her how sorry I am that her mommy doesn't have the energy to play. This brings tears to my eyes...I am not who I want to be right now.

Throughout this, Ryan's help with Tessa and around the house is invaluable. He has taken on pretty much everything, and I do very little. I would be lost without him.

So, today is number fourteen. Next week is number fifteen. And then, I will try to turn number sixteen into a party...I plan to bring food and drinks, and friends and fmaily are invited to drop in to say hi and celebrate with me (email me if you want details of when and where). It's not the end of treatment, but it's the end of what I hear is the nastiest part of treatment, and I will celebrate milestones whereever I can!

Sending my love,
Kristina

Comments vs. Spam

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I just changed an option on my blog so that anyone entering a comment - which I love! - will have to do a "word verification." I apologise for any inconvenience this may cause, but in addition to the great comments that I receive from friends, family, and assorted loyal readers, I've been getting a lot of spam comments lately, and this should prevent that. (I'm not interested in plastic surgery in Hawaii, thank you, and stop emailing me!!!)

Please keep commenting. I love to hear from you, to see who is reading, and all that.

Kristina

13 down, 3 to go!

(Edited on 11/30 to have the right count....)

I'm home from chemo, and it went well. I even got my favorite nurse today, because she has signed up to be "my" nurse because we hit it off so well, and so when my chart came in she made sure to catch me. I like that. :-)

Chemo went well - it was uneventful. THANK YOU to Michele for driving me there, and to Ryan & Tessa for picking me up.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I will probably spend a good deal of tomorrow curled up on the couch at my parents' house, but that's okay...less than a month, and I will be done with this part of the catastrophe! I'm looking forward to time with family, to watching the cousins (Tessa, Caleb, and Joshua) interact, and to eating turky.

Love,
Kristina

Back together

Our little family is back together - Ryan and Tessa arrived home late last night, sleepy but happy. It's good to have them home. I feel more refreshed than I had in a couple of weeks, and I took Tessa to the community center "play gym" this morning (and had the fun of running into half a dozen families that we know), and then the two of us had lunch at Michele's. During that time, Ryan got a little down-time for himself and went for a bike ride (brrr!).

Now, Ryan is putting Tessa down for her nap, and I'm relaxing for a few minutes before making some cranberry nut loaf for some of the hospital staff for Thanksgiving (as well as for my own family). The nurses at chemo are so kind to me, and I absolutely adore Dr. Rinn and her staff, so I plan to make a big batch of loaves using disposable tins, and pass them out tomorrow.

I have a lot to be thankful for. One hundred years ago, my lump would have almost certainly meant a death sentence. Today, it means horrific treatment, but also the hopeful promise of a long, long life. Without the hard working doctors and nurses who fight to keep me alive and to make me strong again, I would have little hope. Today, however, I am filled with hope and optimism. It seems like a little cranberry nut loaf is the least that I can do.

I am grateful for family and friends, for a loving husband, and for a daughter whose inner and outer beauty take my breath away. I am grateful for our comfortable home, for the food we eat, and for the community we live in. I'm grateful for the beauty of sunsets viewed from the beach close to our house, for hiking in the mountains, and for walks along Alki, Tessa skipping between Ryan and I. I'm grateful for our cat, who sleeps on my foot at night, and for the fact that one day Shep will join our family. I am grateful for the amazing support that I have received from loving friends and family, especially in this darker-than-usual time. I am incredibly grateful for the good health of those in my life... including myself. Despite down days, I've endured chemo really well, and haven't had any other major health issues to contend with. I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving. As I bow my head at the Thanksgiving table with my family (thanks for hosting, Mom & Dad!), I will remember how much I have to be thankful for, and I hope that you find your heart full of thanks, as well.

Love,
Kristina

Quiet time

Today Ryan and Tessa took off early to head to Portland. Tessa gave me her "traditional" snuggle - kiss, noser, little hug, BIG hug - and smiled with excitement for the trip. I waved at the door, a little forlorn to see my two favorite people leaving...

But today has been lovely. I've put aside the "should's" and "ought to's" and I've sat around doing, basically, nothing. I'm reading "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams (a gift from my friend Lynn, it's been sitting on my bedside table for a long time), drinking tea, enjoying candlelight, and taking it easy. Michele & Lori stopped in briefly to celebrate their fundraising success at the market today (hooray) but other than that I've done nothing, talked to no one.

Ahhhh, the quiet. I almost forgot what it was like. I'm trying not to think too hard about anything, not to do things, not to make lists...just to be. For me, this takes considerable practice...but it's paying off, and I do feel relaxed.

More later. Or not. I haven't decided! ;-)
Kristina

Limits

Everyone has their limits, and I'm discovering more and more of mine.

Today I realized that I'm not up for the trip to Portland to visit friends and family tomorrow. This realization made me cry, because I do not like this version of myself, because I will miss seeing people, because I'm mad at myself that I can't just pull it together, because I'm tired of being so tired. Mostly, it's that last one. I can hardly believe that a simple car trip to Portland - one that involves packing a bag, and not much more - can be overwhelming to me right now, but there it is. I have reached an ever deeper level of fatigue, and I just can't push on through.

Ryan and Tessa will go to Portland without me (with my blessing), and I will miss them and wonder what I'm missing out on. I'll stay behind to rest and relax, and to recoup some energy. By the time they return, I'm sure that I will have missed them so much that I'll appreciate them more than ever.

Less than a month of torture to go. Less than a month until I'm done with receiving chemo. I just need to make it to the 14th.... and I know that I will, but it seems so terribly far away.

I may actually do a "real" update over the next couple of days while I'm here by myself...but no promises.

Love,
Kristina

Checking in

Well, the final stretch promises to be the hardest. Chemo was Wednesday, and I haven't felt good since then....ACK! It's very frustrating to wake up each morning feeling just as gross as the day before. Less than a month left.... I'm hoping that my Christmas present is that I feel somewhat normal and that I have a bit more energy.

Ryan has been very helpful, and Tessa is in high spirits, so that helps. I love my family.

Tomorrow we will leave for Portland to visit with Ryan's parents - Ryan's dad had a procedure done last week and we want to go to visit and support them and show them that we care. (There was no possibility of our traveling for Thanksgiving because of the Wednesday chemo appointment, so we're going early, and heading home Tuesday.) I'm hoping that, because it's the second half of my cycle, I'll be feeling a bit stronger for the trip. We are looking forward to seeing family and our Portland friends, Scott, Karen, and Fiona. (Tessa is particularly excited to play with Fiona.)

Today we're laying low, and our "big" activity is a trip to story time at Barnes & Noble for Tessa...a quiet day.

Yesterday evening we got the news that Linda and Gary had their baby! Rex was born a couple of weeks early, much to his mother's delight, and the family is happy and healthy. Hurrah for new life, and for the delight of a baby to be excited about. It's much better to think about the littlest member of my community than to think about stupid old cancer. Congrats, Linda & Gary! We can't wait to see the little guy in person.

Love,
Kristina

Quick Thursday update

I am well, but I am tired. T-I-R-E-D. Oh well, at least the countdown is on... I have less than one month until my last chemo appointment.

Today I saw a physical therapist to learn manual lymphatic drainage to control my lymphedema. It was actually very relaxing, and a positive experience. I will go back a couple more times to work on exercises to get back my full range of motion, and I will also be fitted for a lymphedema sleeve to wear when I travel on airplanes (I won't have to wear it otherwise, but I'd like to have it).

My therapist was wonderful...and she might join our 3-Day Walk team! She has done the walk before, but did it alone, and is interested in having a team to walk with. You never know where you will find support...

I went to preschool with Tessa today for the first time in a long time, and enjoyed the experience, though it wore me out.

I know my language is choppy here, but I really am tired. Just checking in. Have a great night, everyone.

Love,
K

12 down, 4 to go!

Today I completed chemo number twelve. Check another one off the list - wahoooo!

I spoke with Dr. Rinn about upcoming treatment. We have agreed that I will get a Lupron shot with my last chemo treatment (December 14, and yes I AM counting). Lupron is a drug that will shut down my ovaries and keep me in menopause; this is important because I am ER+ 90% and PR+ 70%. These numbers are very high, even for hormone receptive positive cancers, and it's very important that we prevent my body from creating any more hormones to feed the cancer. Some recent studies imply that keeping hormones out of my body (through ovarian suppression drugs like Lupron or through oopharectomy or hysterectomy, plus hormone inhibiting drugs like tamoxifin or aromatase inhibitors) will be even more important to my long term health than even the chemotherapy. After radiation, I will start an aromatase inhibitor - shown to be much more effective than tamoxifin in my type of cancer - and my doctor has chosen Femara. (More on that later, but I'm pleased with what the research says about it, and feel very comfortable with this decision.)

We also discussed my chemo brain. Folks, I have all new pity and sympathy...no, make that empathy for stupid people. My brain is in a fog and just doesn't do what I tell it to these days, and it's very frustrating. I have a difficult time concentrating, trouble formulating complex ideas or thoughts, etc. This is a known side effect of the drugs I'm taking (and has more to do with the steroid, Decadron, even than it does with the chemo, although "chemobrain" is a very real phenomenon) and unfortunately, it's just something I need to ride out. It will get better, but I appreciate your patience with me.

Ryan is being incredibly supportive of me, and for this I'm grateful. Things are much better in our house these days, and I'm incredibly appreciative.

I'm too tired to say another word. More later!
Love,
Kristina

Still tired; Farmer's Market Sunday

Well, I am still tired. Dang it! I woke up this morning feeling more hopeful for an energetic day, and it has not happened. I am not bedridden, but small amounts of activity wear me out and I did take a nap today. It is what it is and I'm trying to adapt...and I'm incredibly appreciative of Ryan's efforts to make things easier on Tessa and myself (he's the new King of Laundry, and he has taken great care of me).

Tomorrow Michele, Lori, and I will man (woman?!) a booth at the West Seattle Farmer's Market to solicit donations and to talk about breast cancer with anybody who has questions. Look for us there! I will only be there for a partial day (in part because I'll be tired, no doubt, and in part because it's Derek's birthday and I'm going to stop in on the festivities) but I am really looking forward to jump-starting the fundraising efforts for the Breast Cancer 3-Day. Michele & Lori have done quite a bit of fundraising (Michele is one of the 3-Day's top fundraisers!) but I haven't started...and it feels good to do this.

Love,
Kristina

I thought Saturday was my hard day?!

Well, today I find myself "okay" but not in top form...this feels more like a Saturday (what I've come to perceive as my hard day from chemo) than a Friday, and yesterday was the same. I guess this is the cumulative effect sneaking up on me...just when I think I know what to expect, things change. I have additional anti-nausea drugs to take, and I'm laying low, but it's a bit frustrating to have even lower energy levels than usual.

Oh well! Only five more chemos to go....just over a month....I can do this....

Kristina

Some sunshine, too; 11 chemo down, 5 to go!

When I picked up Susan from the airport on Saturday night, it was raining cats and dogs, but since then the weather has been almost lovely. I don't mind the sunshine, either!

I had a lovely visit with Susan and Gretchen, and on Sunday night Susan from Issaquah and Michele came to visit for an evening of dessert and wine, as well. I loved sharing these different girlfriends with one another, and I'm so glad that I had the opportunity. We laughed and talked, we drank wine (sure that's a no-no for me but I don't over-indulge), and talked some more.

Here's a picture of Susan, Gretchen, & Myself:


...and here is a picture of Susan reading to Tessa:


More details on the visit when I'm less tired, but I wanted to post at least that much. It was lovely!

And then....yesterday after I dropped Susan off at the airport, I went to chemo. The best part of that is that one more session is complete! 11 down, 5 to go...more than two thirds of the total treatment is finished, and I'm more than halfway through Taxol, and I'll be finished in just a month plus a couple of days. No matter how I look at it, progress has been made. Some doctors don't prescribe as much Taxol as I'm getting, and I know that I'm being really aggressive, and I feel GOOD about that. If there is one cancer cell left in my body, I expect the Taxol to kill it in the next 5 sessions.

As far as my symptoms go, I have one to add: I got a mouth sore for the first time. Dang it. It's tiny, but it's on my tongue and hits my teeth when my tongue moves (often!). I got some prescription lozenges that should help. I'm also getting more and more tired. Whereas neither Ryan nor I intended to have him home right now, the timing has been exactly what I needed. I am really pretty wiped out, and my good days aren't quite as good as they used to be. This too shall pass, and I hope to be reviving at Christmas, but I'm pretty inactive for the most part. (Susan and I did go for a 2 mile walk on Tuesday, and I think that walking is good for me, but I need naps now, and I go to bed ridiculously early, and I just don't have energy to do half of what I'd like to).

Speaking of sleep...I woke up at 1am last night and never got back to sleep. #### Decadron! I know I need it but it really messes with me.

That's all for now...I'm in my PJs and thinking of trying to have a nap. I hope you're all doing well!

Love,
Kristina