Onion (organic, Farmer's Market)
Olive Oil (organic, TJ's)
Potatoes (organic, PCC)
Eggs (organic, PCC)
Simple, simple food, seasoned with a little salt and pepper, and topped with salsa - yum. I'll serve some fruit on the side, and I think I'll steam some broccoli, as we had salad at lunch and Tessa prefers broccoli. We had some light sour cream and salsa left over from something else, so we're topping the dish with this combo.
I estimate the entire meal, with apple slices on the side, to be about $8, or $2 per serving (Ryan will take leftovers for lunch tomorrow). This doesn't make me the most frugal person in the world, but for healthy, pesticide free, hormone free, organic, responsibly farmed food, I think it's impressive.
This diet is providing more than our share of fruits and vegetables per day. For the first time in a while, I'm very certain that I'm hitting my minimum five servings per day without trying. I'm serving fruit at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and we're having veggies with lunch and dinner (usually one serving at lunch, two or more at dinner; in a soup like yesterday's, there might have been four servings of veggies included, all simmered down).
Speaking of yesterday's soup, it's gone. Ryan had his for lunch today, and I took the rest to my parents, to share with them and also with my brother. Today Tessa wouldn't touch it - strange kid. Mom, Dad and Mike seemed to like it, though. Mom is doing well, walking much more than last time I saw her, and in seemingly good spirits. She is anxious to be doing more, and to be up and about, and to get rid of pain meds, but all things considered, I think she's making excellent progress. I have been enjoying our visits together. Today I was able to help by prepping the crock pot dinner my mom had planned, and it made me happy to help her in this small way (I didn't like the image of her up on the leg for two long as she cooked, but she wanted to help my dad out, as he's been doing a fantastic job of playing chef AND caring for her AND working).
Speaking of cooking, I feel like my whole life is revolving around food right now. I pray that this is temporary. The planning is not automatic, the ideas are not automatic, the style of cooking isn't yet familiar, the budget constraints feel tight, and I have a lot to learn. I'm forging ahead, though, and we're hitting some good notes.
As a routine, I'm trying to do one egg dish a week (that was tonight), one vegetarian or close-to-vegetarian dish per week (this week it's Granny's baked beans....with bacon...breaking my family in slowly), one roast per week (I'm lazy this week and I'm replicating last week's chicken), and Friday night pizza (Ryan & Tessa's favorite. The roast gets stretched for a couple of meals - chicken on top of salads, soup stock, etc. Most of the meals make leftovers for lunches, but I'm also roasting turkey for sandwiches because it's easy, cheap, and done without weird processing like other deli meats. I imagine a lot of stir frys - I'd better get some beef in this menu soon or Ryan is sure to rebel. ;-)
Okay, off to fill out Tessa's school paperwork. Time to sign up for kindergarten....
I have another loaf of bread baking, as I left the rest of ours with Mom & Dad, too.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Update on my ring...
...and major kudos to Menasche in West Seattle.
I just got a call from Jack Menasche in West Seattle from Menasche Jewelers. They are going to fix my ring, free of charge, standing behind their work.
I am so grateful to them for taking care of my ring, and for dealing with this situation in such an honorable way. I am not in a position to buy jewelry these days, but I'm telling you, if I was, I'd send all my business there.
If you're looking for new jewelry and live locally, check them out. Beautiful pieces, super people.
Thank you!
I just got a call from Jack Menasche in West Seattle from Menasche Jewelers. They are going to fix my ring, free of charge, standing behind their work.
I am so grateful to them for taking care of my ring, and for dealing with this situation in such an honorable way. I am not in a position to buy jewelry these days, but I'm telling you, if I was, I'd send all my business there.
If you're looking for new jewelry and live locally, check them out. Beautiful pieces, super people.
Thank you!
Tuesday
Today we're going to visit my mom. We'll bring along some lentil soup for her and dad's lunch, we'll get in a nice visit, and we'll go swimming at the pool (Tessa and I will, that is). Then Tessa and I will go to Molbak's, which is a SeedSaver outlet (heirloom veggie seeds) and pick out some things for our garden before heading home again. Tonight's dinner will be a simple fritatta (Spanish Potato Fritatta, topped with salsa, with a side salad) because it's simple and fast. I didn't buy enough market potatoes (only one pound of Peruvian Blue, which went into yesterday's soup) so the potatoes today are from PCC; next week I'll get them at the market.
My mood is rather ho-hum blah. Bah humbug. I'll snap out of it; I always do.
Last night I went to bed at 8:30! I don't know why I was so tired. I got up at 7:30, for a whopping 11 hours in bed. I wonder what the deal with that is?
My mood is rather ho-hum blah. Bah humbug. I'll snap out of it; I always do.
Last night I went to bed at 8:30! I don't know why I was so tired. I got up at 7:30, for a whopping 11 hours in bed. I wonder what the deal with that is?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Lentil Soup
I don't usually cook with beans...or lentils. I'm trying both. Healthy, inexpensive, and very good for the environment; a great source of protein and fiber. Diversity in our diet.
Today when shopping at PCC while Tessa was at gymnastics, I was talking to a lady in the produce section (she was wondering how I was going to cook "all those leeks"). She, in turn, told me about a lentil soup recipe that she swears makes "people who can't stand lentils start to love lentils."
She said....
A couple of turns of olive oil in the pan; add chopped onion and garlic. Add chopped leeks, and saute until softened; season with salt and pepper. Add "french blue-green lentils" (the type, apparently, being very important), and chopped potatoes, and simmer in chicken broth for 20 minutes. Finally, add carrots or other vegetables, simmer an additional 10-20 minutes, and serve.
I'm adding more farmer's market sausage from Sea Breeze Farms on Vashon, because Ryan and Tessa aren't quite ready for hard core lentils. The amount of sausage is quite small compared to the total quantity prepared, but hopefully will add the zing that they seek.
From the farmer's market:
Onion
Garlic
Sausage
Kale (which I'm adding as well...it cooks down beautifully in soups and adds a green element)
Potatoes (Peruvian Blue, at Tessa's request)
Carrots (Nantes sweet)
The chicken broth is home made from farmer's market ingredients.
From PCC, organic:
blue-green lentils
leeks
It's simmering away right now. I'll serve it with some fresh fruit slices, and some home made bread. I ran out of honey so I substituted molasses in my last batch, and it's quite good...the molasses was an acceptable substitute.
Speaking of honey, it was really expensive at the Farmer's Market, so I got it at PCC. Maybe next time I'll break down and get the Farmer's Market stuff, but right now budget is more important.
I bought MOST of my groceries at the FM this week, and I'm happy with that...
Since writing my last post I've had some anxiety about what a negative Nellie I am, and how people will perceive my whining. I'm trying to come to terms with those thoughts, hoping that nobody will judge me too harshly. I'm still working on all fo this positive stuff. I'm still trying to be a good little homemaker, feeding my family nutritious, delicious, organic, healthy home cooked meals. I'm trying to find pleasure in it. I'm trying to remember the slow foods movement. I'm trying not to remember that Tessa is watching a Clifford movie so that I can cook.
(In my own defense, she played with Jessie all morning, then I picked her up and went straight to Anna's to pick up Anna. Beth arrived her to pick up Anna, and they went out the front door and we went out the back door to gymnastics. I shopped while Tessa was at gymnastics, and then we came home. It's not great 1:1 time with Tessa but she's beenhaving a fabulous, kid-focused day anyway. Tomorrow we're going to visit my mom, and so I'll get lots of 1:1 with Tessa and I'll take her swimming.)
Edited to add: I just tasted the soup; I'm letting it simmer for a few more minutes, but it's done. YUM! I hope Tessa doesn't complain about the texture, because I don't have a backup plan. I'm serving it with the bread, but also fruit - blood oranges were on sale, and Braeburn apples, so that's what we're having. Tessa will like bread and fruit, at least, and worst case scenerio she can dip her bread or eat just the carrots from the soup or....?
Also...we discovered "real" baby carrots at the Farmer's Market. Not those weird machine processed ones that pass as baby carrots all over America, but real honest to goodness ones, with tops and roots and such. And the best part? They taste GREAT. Tessa loves them, and took pride in telling Anna today that they were "real" carrots. I love sharing this journey with a child who is (mostly) open to the process. Now, wish me luck with lentil soup....
Tessa Soup Update: First comment was "Ewww I'm not eating that." Then, minor fits. Then, she started eating it. Then, she cleaned her plate until "Look Mommy, I can't eat more, I can't even pull in my stomach any more!" Funny enough, the part she wouldn't/couldn't eat was the sausage, because it was "too spicy," but the rest got gobbled up. Next time, I will make the soup minus the sausage, and see how the family likes it. If it didn't have sausage, it would be healthier AND cheaper, and though it's made with chicken broth I'd still count it as a vegetarian meal for our purposes. (If you're a vegetarian friend of ours, never fear, I'd never pull that stunt on you and I'm capable of "real" vegetarian food, but since we're not trying to become vegetarians, it's close enough for us.)
And here's a diet tip. My home made bread is rather large and square, so a regular thickness slice is much larger than a slice of store bought bread. So, for dinner tonight, I cut two pieces, quartered them, and put them on a plate for sharing. There were three pieces left at the end of the meal, meaning that the three of us shared a mere 1.25 slices of bread, and walked away sated. Go figure! I think that the trick of piling it up on a plate was what did it - we could reach for more than one piece and not feel deprived.
And it is a good thing that we like the soup; we'll be eating it for days. It made 8 portions.
(I like the fact that it's dinner in one pot. There were a LOT of veggies in that pot, so I didn't even make a side salad, which would have been a nice fresh complement, but I didn't fee, l like it, and it wasn't nutritionally necessary.)
Today when shopping at PCC while Tessa was at gymnastics, I was talking to a lady in the produce section (she was wondering how I was going to cook "all those leeks"). She, in turn, told me about a lentil soup recipe that she swears makes "people who can't stand lentils start to love lentils."
She said....
A couple of turns of olive oil in the pan; add chopped onion and garlic. Add chopped leeks, and saute until softened; season with salt and pepper. Add "french blue-green lentils" (the type, apparently, being very important), and chopped potatoes, and simmer in chicken broth for 20 minutes. Finally, add carrots or other vegetables, simmer an additional 10-20 minutes, and serve.
I'm adding more farmer's market sausage from Sea Breeze Farms on Vashon, because Ryan and Tessa aren't quite ready for hard core lentils. The amount of sausage is quite small compared to the total quantity prepared, but hopefully will add the zing that they seek.
From the farmer's market:
Onion
Garlic
Sausage
Kale (which I'm adding as well...it cooks down beautifully in soups and adds a green element)
Potatoes (Peruvian Blue, at Tessa's request)
Carrots (Nantes sweet)
The chicken broth is home made from farmer's market ingredients.
From PCC, organic:
blue-green lentils
leeks
It's simmering away right now. I'll serve it with some fresh fruit slices, and some home made bread. I ran out of honey so I substituted molasses in my last batch, and it's quite good...the molasses was an acceptable substitute.
Speaking of honey, it was really expensive at the Farmer's Market, so I got it at PCC. Maybe next time I'll break down and get the Farmer's Market stuff, but right now budget is more important.
I bought MOST of my groceries at the FM this week, and I'm happy with that...
Since writing my last post I've had some anxiety about what a negative Nellie I am, and how people will perceive my whining. I'm trying to come to terms with those thoughts, hoping that nobody will judge me too harshly. I'm still working on all fo this positive stuff. I'm still trying to be a good little homemaker, feeding my family nutritious, delicious, organic, healthy home cooked meals. I'm trying to find pleasure in it. I'm trying to remember the slow foods movement. I'm trying not to remember that Tessa is watching a Clifford movie so that I can cook.
(In my own defense, she played with Jessie all morning, then I picked her up and went straight to Anna's to pick up Anna. Beth arrived her to pick up Anna, and they went out the front door and we went out the back door to gymnastics. I shopped while Tessa was at gymnastics, and then we came home. It's not great 1:1 time with Tessa but she's beenhaving a fabulous, kid-focused day anyway. Tomorrow we're going to visit my mom, and so I'll get lots of 1:1 with Tessa and I'll take her swimming.)
Edited to add: I just tasted the soup; I'm letting it simmer for a few more minutes, but it's done. YUM! I hope Tessa doesn't complain about the texture, because I don't have a backup plan. I'm serving it with the bread, but also fruit - blood oranges were on sale, and Braeburn apples, so that's what we're having. Tessa will like bread and fruit, at least, and worst case scenerio she can dip her bread or eat just the carrots from the soup or....?
Also...we discovered "real" baby carrots at the Farmer's Market. Not those weird machine processed ones that pass as baby carrots all over America, but real honest to goodness ones, with tops and roots and such. And the best part? They taste GREAT. Tessa loves them, and took pride in telling Anna today that they were "real" carrots. I love sharing this journey with a child who is (mostly) open to the process. Now, wish me luck with lentil soup....
Tessa Soup Update: First comment was "Ewww I'm not eating that." Then, minor fits. Then, she started eating it. Then, she cleaned her plate until "Look Mommy, I can't eat more, I can't even pull in my stomach any more!" Funny enough, the part she wouldn't/couldn't eat was the sausage, because it was "too spicy," but the rest got gobbled up. Next time, I will make the soup minus the sausage, and see how the family likes it. If it didn't have sausage, it would be healthier AND cheaper, and though it's made with chicken broth I'd still count it as a vegetarian meal for our purposes. (If you're a vegetarian friend of ours, never fear, I'd never pull that stunt on you and I'm capable of "real" vegetarian food, but since we're not trying to become vegetarians, it's close enough for us.)
And here's a diet tip. My home made bread is rather large and square, so a regular thickness slice is much larger than a slice of store bought bread. So, for dinner tonight, I cut two pieces, quartered them, and put them on a plate for sharing. There were three pieces left at the end of the meal, meaning that the three of us shared a mere 1.25 slices of bread, and walked away sated. Go figure! I think that the trick of piling it up on a plate was what did it - we could reach for more than one piece and not feel deprived.
And it is a good thing that we like the soup; we'll be eating it for days. It made 8 portions.
(I like the fact that it's dinner in one pot. There were a LOT of veggies in that pot, so I didn't even make a side salad, which would have been a nice fresh complement, but I didn't fee, l like it, and it wasn't nutritionally necessary.)
Mourning
This morning I visited my therapist.
I refuse to have a stigma associated with that statement. I suffer from depression, and I've experienced some very difficult times in my life, and I have some things to work out as a result of it. I will NOT be ashamed of these facts, despite societal pressures to be sweet and nice and um, not depressed.
Anyway, I saw my therapist. She pointed out that I'm mourning all of the changes in my life, and that it's no wonder that I struggle sometimes.
She pointed out that despite my best efforts, I'm still encountering the side effects of cancer on a daily basis.
Yes, daily. How's that for depressing? In addition to all of my fears about it returning, I struggle with some pretty basic stuff. I burned my finger on a pan last week - a tiny mark - and now I can't fit a ring over my finger, because I'm having mild lymphaedema. I can't put my left elbow to my head; when I lift that arm in certain ways, it hurts me. I can't carry Tessa on my left side, because it's not strong enough. I can't sleep well. I have hot flashes at night. My bones ache. I have osteopenia. My cholesterol is climbing. I have to take handfuls of drugs to fight these issues, and they all come with side effects and concerns.
Sorry if I'm bringing you down, but I think since I'm honest here I'm going to be honest here.
It's not pretty, is it? It's not nearly as nice to think about as my desire to have a vegetable garden, to pursue issues of spirituality, to enjoy sunny days. I do those things too, and I want to do those things more often, but I've got this other side to deal with. It's not pretty, it's not okay, and it's part of my life.
And I mourn that. I want to be PollyAnna (unfortunately, this is true) and I try my hardest, only to have these other things bang me down again. I am reminded a million times a day of my disease and how it impacts me. I'm not done, and I haven't moved on.
And this doesn't even touch on the cosmetic issues, and how ugly I find my own body.
Me, the granola girl, with implants. Covered in scars. Uneven. Me, the woman who took pride and joy in breastfeeding my daughter for 15 months, reveling in the femininity and nurturing in such an action...I don't even have nipples. Not real ones, and not fake ones. Nothing but scars.
I know, it's not all about boobs, it's about what's on the inside, and I like my new curls, and I'm glad that I'm (mostly) keeping the weight off, and it could be worse because I could have lost a leg, yada yada yada.
But let's face it, folks, it could be a lot better. Most people don't have to deal with this kind of crap, and I do. And those who deal with it generally deal with it much later in life. Not so for me.
I don't focus on it all the time, and I don't write about it every day, but let's get real. This is my life, and it impacts me, too. And I'm mourning that, and struggling how to deal with it.
In 2007, Melinda, a beautiful woman from the YSC boards, died. This weekend I met a Melinda with the same general physical characteristics......and it was hard to focus when talking to her for all my thinking about the other Melinda.
And the wondering: will it be me? Will this be my fate? How will my family cope? Will Ryan be able to manage being a single father? Will Tessa lose her joy if she loses her mother? Will my legacy be one of pain and loss if I die young? Will the pain at my loss overshadow what has gone well in my life, parenting, and being a wife and daughter?
Please don't answer these questions; they're rhetorical. But I need to be allowed to say them. I need to be allowed to mourn without being told "it could be worse" or "at least you're lucky that..." or "oh come on you'll be fine, I just know it." Yes, it could be worse, and there are others worse off than I am, and in many ways I'm very lucky. But NOBODY knows if I'll be fine, adn there is no way to find out.
It could be better. I wish things were easier. I wish I didn't have to struggle daily with these physical effects, and I wish my thoughts were easier.
Having these thoughts sucks the joy out of a lot of things. With every milestone (birthdays, holidays, seasons) I can't help but wonder if the next time the milestone comes around, I'll be in chemo again, winning or losing. That's no way to live. I'm working on working it out, but let me tell you, it's not easy.
So I'm mourning, and I hope that by mourning I can let some of it go, let some of it heal. I'm hoping that by saying some of it out loud, acknowledging my pain, that I can find ways to ease my pain.
I'm waiting.
I refuse to have a stigma associated with that statement. I suffer from depression, and I've experienced some very difficult times in my life, and I have some things to work out as a result of it. I will NOT be ashamed of these facts, despite societal pressures to be sweet and nice and um, not depressed.
Anyway, I saw my therapist. She pointed out that I'm mourning all of the changes in my life, and that it's no wonder that I struggle sometimes.
She pointed out that despite my best efforts, I'm still encountering the side effects of cancer on a daily basis.
Yes, daily. How's that for depressing? In addition to all of my fears about it returning, I struggle with some pretty basic stuff. I burned my finger on a pan last week - a tiny mark - and now I can't fit a ring over my finger, because I'm having mild lymphaedema. I can't put my left elbow to my head; when I lift that arm in certain ways, it hurts me. I can't carry Tessa on my left side, because it's not strong enough. I can't sleep well. I have hot flashes at night. My bones ache. I have osteopenia. My cholesterol is climbing. I have to take handfuls of drugs to fight these issues, and they all come with side effects and concerns.
Sorry if I'm bringing you down, but I think since I'm honest here I'm going to be honest here.
It's not pretty, is it? It's not nearly as nice to think about as my desire to have a vegetable garden, to pursue issues of spirituality, to enjoy sunny days. I do those things too, and I want to do those things more often, but I've got this other side to deal with. It's not pretty, it's not okay, and it's part of my life.
And I mourn that. I want to be PollyAnna (unfortunately, this is true) and I try my hardest, only to have these other things bang me down again. I am reminded a million times a day of my disease and how it impacts me. I'm not done, and I haven't moved on.
And this doesn't even touch on the cosmetic issues, and how ugly I find my own body.
Me, the granola girl, with implants. Covered in scars. Uneven. Me, the woman who took pride and joy in breastfeeding my daughter for 15 months, reveling in the femininity and nurturing in such an action...I don't even have nipples. Not real ones, and not fake ones. Nothing but scars.
I know, it's not all about boobs, it's about what's on the inside, and I like my new curls, and I'm glad that I'm (mostly) keeping the weight off, and it could be worse because I could have lost a leg, yada yada yada.
But let's face it, folks, it could be a lot better. Most people don't have to deal with this kind of crap, and I do. And those who deal with it generally deal with it much later in life. Not so for me.
I don't focus on it all the time, and I don't write about it every day, but let's get real. This is my life, and it impacts me, too. And I'm mourning that, and struggling how to deal with it.
In 2007, Melinda, a beautiful woman from the YSC boards, died. This weekend I met a Melinda with the same general physical characteristics......and it was hard to focus when talking to her for all my thinking about the other Melinda.
And the wondering: will it be me? Will this be my fate? How will my family cope? Will Ryan be able to manage being a single father? Will Tessa lose her joy if she loses her mother? Will my legacy be one of pain and loss if I die young? Will the pain at my loss overshadow what has gone well in my life, parenting, and being a wife and daughter?
Please don't answer these questions; they're rhetorical. But I need to be allowed to say them. I need to be allowed to mourn without being told "it could be worse" or "at least you're lucky that..." or "oh come on you'll be fine, I just know it." Yes, it could be worse, and there are others worse off than I am, and in many ways I'm very lucky. But NOBODY knows if I'll be fine, adn there is no way to find out.
It could be better. I wish things were easier. I wish I didn't have to struggle daily with these physical effects, and I wish my thoughts were easier.
Having these thoughts sucks the joy out of a lot of things. With every milestone (birthdays, holidays, seasons) I can't help but wonder if the next time the milestone comes around, I'll be in chemo again, winning or losing. That's no way to live. I'm working on working it out, but let me tell you, it's not easy.
So I'm mourning, and I hope that by mourning I can let some of it go, let some of it heal. I'm hoping that by saying some of it out loud, acknowledging my pain, that I can find ways to ease my pain.
I'm waiting.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Out of touch
Tonight I watched The Oscars with friends. Man am I out of touch - I hadn't seen them at all! The only one I HAD seen was "Once" (which I saw with my mom-in-law last spring or thereabouts), and it won for best song.
Tessa had a great day today, as hoped. We went to church, went to the Farmer's Market, planted some flowers in pots for the yard, and hung out. Ryan had a coughing kind of day, with a headache induced from his persistant cold, but he's doing better tonight.
My small amount of gardening today was lovely, out in the sun with the dirt smelling fresh and sweet...but it's also a reminder o fhow little I know. I love the results (makes me want to run outside right now to see the flowers!) but I am concerned that I don't know nearly enough to grow an entire vegetable garden. I'm not giving up, but I have a lot of ground to cover between now and then. I'd like to break ground next weekend, if at all possible; this week I'd like to go to Molbak's to buy some Seedsavers heirloom seeds. (I'm learning that heirloom seeds are more flavorful and promote greater biodiversity than other seeds, which are often genetically altered, commercial, and promote poor farming practices. Who'da thunk?)
I have a 9am doc appt tomorrow so I'd better get to bed right now....
Tessa had a great day today, as hoped. We went to church, went to the Farmer's Market, planted some flowers in pots for the yard, and hung out. Ryan had a coughing kind of day, with a headache induced from his persistant cold, but he's doing better tonight.
My small amount of gardening today was lovely, out in the sun with the dirt smelling fresh and sweet...but it's also a reminder o fhow little I know. I love the results (makes me want to run outside right now to see the flowers!) but I am concerned that I don't know nearly enough to grow an entire vegetable garden. I'm not giving up, but I have a lot of ground to cover between now and then. I'd like to break ground next weekend, if at all possible; this week I'd like to go to Molbak's to buy some Seedsavers heirloom seeds. (I'm learning that heirloom seeds are more flavorful and promote greater biodiversity than other seeds, which are often genetically altered, commercial, and promote poor farming practices. Who'da thunk?)
I have a 9am doc appt tomorrow so I'd better get to bed right now....
Friday, February 22, 2008
Follow up from 2am
Well, we had a good day together, and a wonderful playdate with Anna. Then, at about 7:45 tonight - MELTDOWN. We couldn't figure out what was going on, but after 15 minutes of this awful behavior, it struck me....duh, missing all that sleep.
Ugh. She's still up (in pj's, in bed), crabby as can be, and overtired. I told her, and I'm telling myself, "Tomorrow will be better."
Ugh. She's still up (in pj's, in bed), crabby as can be, and overtired. I told her, and I'm telling myself, "Tomorrow will be better."
Yawn
Tessa woke at 2am, crying with an earache. With Children's Tylenol, and bringing her into our bed, she finally fell back asleep, but it kept me up until about 5:30am. I yawn just thinking about it. THANK YOU to Ryan for making my morning coffee - today I'd really be lost without it.
This morning, she appears well and happy. What was that about? I'm delighted that she's fine but wondering what the middle-of-the-night hubbub was about. She slept in until about 8:45 so she's feeling rested, but not so much for me.
Anyway.
Tomorrow, Tessa & Ryan (along with Shep) are going snowshoeing with Artie & Anna. I am staying home to attend a baby shower for a wonderful friend, and to bake a cake for my grandma, who turned 85 this week and is having a family party tomorrow. I decided that a home made cake (enough to feed 20) was the perfect gift - she doesn't need "stuff" but I want to share love and affection, and this is my way to do that. My cake decorating skills aren't great but I do have a decorating set that I've used for Tessa's birthday. I'm going to do chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and white writing/flowers, I think. Wish me luck on that one - I'm not worried about the cake itself, just the decorating. I am truly looking forward to attending the family party, and seeing everyone.
And in waste not notes...
My refrigerator is down to bare bones: bottles of condiments, milk, cheese, a couple of lemons, a container of fresh pasta. HURRAH! My new plan is to do this weekly: to fill up the fridge, and then eat every single bit of the contents (condiments aside) by the weekend, then refill. If I'm doing this, then I'm certain that I'm not wasting things, that I'm using what I've got.
Today I'll do a small shopping trip at PCC to buy ingredients to fill out tonight's dinner (home made pizza - since that's Ryan & Tessa's favorite meal, and we're not ordering out, I'm making it). I'm determined to shop more at PCC because they do have more local/seasonal stuff, and I love that fact that they're certified organic. This week I didn't quite buy enough at the beginning to make it to the end (we're out of all vegetables, even carrots) so I'll just do a little trip to get us through until Sunday morning (not much food since we're dining at GGs tomorrow night). My long term plan is to shop as much as possible at the Farmer's Market on Sunday, buying whatever looks good, fresh, seasonal, reasonably priced, etc., then to come home and figure out a menu for the week based on those items. Then, when Tessa is at gymnastics on Mondays, I will walk to PCC (a block from gymnastics) and buy the rest of my items there.
When I'm at the store, even the grocery store, it's quite tempting to impulse shop. My hope is that by going to the grocery store only once a week I will remove some of that temptation; not so many sweets, not the funky salsa that sounds good but I'm not sure when I'll use it, etc.
In other thoughts....
The fence between our house and Steven & Sarah's needs replacing; the supports are rotten and it's leaning. I'm wondering if we can recycle the boards of the fence in the new fence, instead of buying all new (getting all new supports/posts, of course). But more than that, I'm wondering if one of the fence posts can actually become a tall post for a clothesline. I have this idea that maybe we could attach the clothesline from the corner of our house up high but where I can reach it from our deck, to a tall post along the fenceline. I remember the smell of my pillowcase from when I was small; the sunshine would get trapped inside it, and would fill my senses and linger in my hair when I layed on it. I also remember standing next to my mom, handing her the basket of clothespins, chatting away as she hung things out; I remember doing the same thing at with my Granny at her house.
Europeans don't generally use clothes dryers, seeing them as wasteful, inefficient, and unnecessary, as they use a LOT of energy. When I was in Italy, "Mama" Bianchini had a shed in her yard with clothes racks in it for drying clothes (this was also where the washing machine was), so even when the weather was poor she was able to dry her clothes this way. Europeans in general have a lower carbon footprint than we do, and practice a lot more common sense in their shopping habits (not all, I'm generalizing, of course, but the trend is clear from the data).
Now, I live in Seattle, and mid-December, I'm not going to hang my clothes out, because they wouldn't dry until February. And sometimes I have to do 3 loads in a day, and I don't plan on having 12 clotheslines to accomodate all of that. But on sunny days, with things like pillowcases and t-shirts (no desire to show off my underwear to the neighbors), I think it would be fabulous. If it cut our power bill, that would be a bonus. We aren't in a position to convert our home to solar power, but we could certainly use some solar power to dry our clothes...
I am enjoying the challenges of thinking in this way.
I've also decided that maybe we could put a bucket in the shower to catch the extra water, and use this in part to water the garden this summer. All the more reason to make sure we're using "healthy" shampoo and soap; we've been trying Avalon Organics but I'm open to hearing of other brands as their lavendar conditioner is not perfect for my hair and doesn't leave it soft enough (or as soft as usual). I'd also like to get a rain barrel, and I'm looking into sources for that.
Okay, off to the day - Tessa wants to play. Enjoy the Seattle sunshine!
This morning, she appears well and happy. What was that about? I'm delighted that she's fine but wondering what the middle-of-the-night hubbub was about. She slept in until about 8:45 so she's feeling rested, but not so much for me.
Anyway.
Tomorrow, Tessa & Ryan (along with Shep) are going snowshoeing with Artie & Anna. I am staying home to attend a baby shower for a wonderful friend, and to bake a cake for my grandma, who turned 85 this week and is having a family party tomorrow. I decided that a home made cake (enough to feed 20) was the perfect gift - she doesn't need "stuff" but I want to share love and affection, and this is my way to do that. My cake decorating skills aren't great but I do have a decorating set that I've used for Tessa's birthday. I'm going to do chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and white writing/flowers, I think. Wish me luck on that one - I'm not worried about the cake itself, just the decorating. I am truly looking forward to attending the family party, and seeing everyone.
And in waste not notes...
My refrigerator is down to bare bones: bottles of condiments, milk, cheese, a couple of lemons, a container of fresh pasta. HURRAH! My new plan is to do this weekly: to fill up the fridge, and then eat every single bit of the contents (condiments aside) by the weekend, then refill. If I'm doing this, then I'm certain that I'm not wasting things, that I'm using what I've got.
Today I'll do a small shopping trip at PCC to buy ingredients to fill out tonight's dinner (home made pizza - since that's Ryan & Tessa's favorite meal, and we're not ordering out, I'm making it). I'm determined to shop more at PCC because they do have more local/seasonal stuff, and I love that fact that they're certified organic. This week I didn't quite buy enough at the beginning to make it to the end (we're out of all vegetables, even carrots) so I'll just do a little trip to get us through until Sunday morning (not much food since we're dining at GGs tomorrow night). My long term plan is to shop as much as possible at the Farmer's Market on Sunday, buying whatever looks good, fresh, seasonal, reasonably priced, etc., then to come home and figure out a menu for the week based on those items. Then, when Tessa is at gymnastics on Mondays, I will walk to PCC (a block from gymnastics) and buy the rest of my items there.
When I'm at the store, even the grocery store, it's quite tempting to impulse shop. My hope is that by going to the grocery store only once a week I will remove some of that temptation; not so many sweets, not the funky salsa that sounds good but I'm not sure when I'll use it, etc.
In other thoughts....
The fence between our house and Steven & Sarah's needs replacing; the supports are rotten and it's leaning. I'm wondering if we can recycle the boards of the fence in the new fence, instead of buying all new (getting all new supports/posts, of course). But more than that, I'm wondering if one of the fence posts can actually become a tall post for a clothesline. I have this idea that maybe we could attach the clothesline from the corner of our house up high but where I can reach it from our deck, to a tall post along the fenceline. I remember the smell of my pillowcase from when I was small; the sunshine would get trapped inside it, and would fill my senses and linger in my hair when I layed on it. I also remember standing next to my mom, handing her the basket of clothespins, chatting away as she hung things out; I remember doing the same thing at with my Granny at her house.
Europeans don't generally use clothes dryers, seeing them as wasteful, inefficient, and unnecessary, as they use a LOT of energy. When I was in Italy, "Mama" Bianchini had a shed in her yard with clothes racks in it for drying clothes (this was also where the washing machine was), so even when the weather was poor she was able to dry her clothes this way. Europeans in general have a lower carbon footprint than we do, and practice a lot more common sense in their shopping habits (not all, I'm generalizing, of course, but the trend is clear from the data).
Now, I live in Seattle, and mid-December, I'm not going to hang my clothes out, because they wouldn't dry until February. And sometimes I have to do 3 loads in a day, and I don't plan on having 12 clotheslines to accomodate all of that. But on sunny days, with things like pillowcases and t-shirts (no desire to show off my underwear to the neighbors), I think it would be fabulous. If it cut our power bill, that would be a bonus. We aren't in a position to convert our home to solar power, but we could certainly use some solar power to dry our clothes...
I am enjoying the challenges of thinking in this way.
I've also decided that maybe we could put a bucket in the shower to catch the extra water, and use this in part to water the garden this summer. All the more reason to make sure we're using "healthy" shampoo and soap; we've been trying Avalon Organics but I'm open to hearing of other brands as their lavendar conditioner is not perfect for my hair and doesn't leave it soft enough (or as soft as usual). I'd also like to get a rain barrel, and I'm looking into sources for that.
Okay, off to the day - Tessa wants to play. Enjoy the Seattle sunshine!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Successes and setbacks
Successes:
Tonight I made a vegetarian dinner that incorporated frozen spinach, and my family liked it (Tessa asked for seconds!).
I shopped for a non-stick pan (in general, I don't like to use them, so I didn't have one, but for fritattas they're necessary, as for some other dishes, so I decided to break down and get one) at Costco and saw two nice ones for $20; not a bad deal, but I held off. Today I went to the thrift stores and found one in like-new condition for $2. No wear and tear on the environment, or on my pocketbook, and it worked perfectly.
Today a friend asked me to coffee, and I (politely, I hope) declined, meaning it fully. I then realized that I had a gift certificate to a coffee place, C&P, so I altered my decline to say that I could go there. I drank my coffee in a ceramic mug, so no environmental impact, and none on my pocketbook, either.
Ryan has taken a lunch to work every day this week - either leftovers or a sandwich on home-made bread. I even included love-notes in a couple of them.
Setbacks:
We are over budget for the week, even with all of my contortions....GRRRRR. We'll try to hit budget next week, but that is exceedingly frustrating.
My home made bread doesn't store well. I think it only lasts well for a day or so. I think that this means that instead of making a large loaf that lasts several days, I might need to make a loaf nightly, so to reduce waste. It's doable but not ideal. (It really does only take a few minutes to make, but still....)
I'm chilled with the house at 66. I keep hoping that I'll adjust (I used to be cold at 68 but eventually adjusted fine to 67) but I really am chilly...this morning it made me not want to get out of bed (thank goodness for my warm bathrobe and slippers from Mom!).
I burned my left index finger on the frypan tonight, leaving a nasty (small) mark. This is the treated side, and now I have to watch for lymphadema. Ouch and grr.
My beautiful wedding ring lost a side-diamond. It is my favorite personal possession (my favorite things aren't THINGS but people, pets, places, but this is my favorite item not in those categories) and my heart just sinks when I think about it, and I get a knot in my stomach. The diamond isn't the solitaire, but it's not a chip, either, and we can't afford to spend money on a diamond right now. I brought it to the jeweler it was purchased from, and I'm praying that through some miracle they'll cover it, but I'm not getting my hopes up. In the meantime, I can't wear it, and this makes me ache. When I wear it, I feel special and loved and more beautiful somehow, and I watch the way it catches the light all the time, and I look at it to remind me of what's important in life (Ryan, and through him, Tessa). I'm wearing another ring on that finger now, but it's just not the same, and that makes me sad.
In other news...
Snow/Genentech has asked me to write an article about breast cancer walks for their internal newsletter, and I will be paid to do so. The money is small, but my pride is immense. This will be the first time I'll be paid for a written article - time to get my portfolio going!
I have also been asked to do a KOMO 4 (local TV station) interview for the Breast Cancer 3-Day; the interview will take place in early March, and I will let you know when it is going to air (not sure myself, yet).
Speaking about breast cancer is good for me. I really wish that I could figure out how to work on a more long-term project with Komen locally without losing my mind as I was before, but there it is....hopefully these other tasks will not tip my sanity.
Tonight I made a vegetarian dinner that incorporated frozen spinach, and my family liked it (Tessa asked for seconds!).
I shopped for a non-stick pan (in general, I don't like to use them, so I didn't have one, but for fritattas they're necessary, as for some other dishes, so I decided to break down and get one) at Costco and saw two nice ones for $20; not a bad deal, but I held off. Today I went to the thrift stores and found one in like-new condition for $2. No wear and tear on the environment, or on my pocketbook, and it worked perfectly.
Today a friend asked me to coffee, and I (politely, I hope) declined, meaning it fully. I then realized that I had a gift certificate to a coffee place, C&P, so I altered my decline to say that I could go there. I drank my coffee in a ceramic mug, so no environmental impact, and none on my pocketbook, either.
Ryan has taken a lunch to work every day this week - either leftovers or a sandwich on home-made bread. I even included love-notes in a couple of them.
Setbacks:
We are over budget for the week, even with all of my contortions....GRRRRR. We'll try to hit budget next week, but that is exceedingly frustrating.
My home made bread doesn't store well. I think it only lasts well for a day or so. I think that this means that instead of making a large loaf that lasts several days, I might need to make a loaf nightly, so to reduce waste. It's doable but not ideal. (It really does only take a few minutes to make, but still....)
I'm chilled with the house at 66. I keep hoping that I'll adjust (I used to be cold at 68 but eventually adjusted fine to 67) but I really am chilly...this morning it made me not want to get out of bed (thank goodness for my warm bathrobe and slippers from Mom!).
I burned my left index finger on the frypan tonight, leaving a nasty (small) mark. This is the treated side, and now I have to watch for lymphadema. Ouch and grr.
My beautiful wedding ring lost a side-diamond. It is my favorite personal possession (my favorite things aren't THINGS but people, pets, places, but this is my favorite item not in those categories) and my heart just sinks when I think about it, and I get a knot in my stomach. The diamond isn't the solitaire, but it's not a chip, either, and we can't afford to spend money on a diamond right now. I brought it to the jeweler it was purchased from, and I'm praying that through some miracle they'll cover it, but I'm not getting my hopes up. In the meantime, I can't wear it, and this makes me ache. When I wear it, I feel special and loved and more beautiful somehow, and I watch the way it catches the light all the time, and I look at it to remind me of what's important in life (Ryan, and through him, Tessa). I'm wearing another ring on that finger now, but it's just not the same, and that makes me sad.
In other news...
Snow/Genentech has asked me to write an article about breast cancer walks for their internal newsletter, and I will be paid to do so. The money is small, but my pride is immense. This will be the first time I'll be paid for a written article - time to get my portfolio going!
I have also been asked to do a KOMO 4 (local TV station) interview for the Breast Cancer 3-Day; the interview will take place in early March, and I will let you know when it is going to air (not sure myself, yet).
Speaking about breast cancer is good for me. I really wish that I could figure out how to work on a more long-term project with Komen locally without losing my mind as I was before, but there it is....hopefully these other tasks will not tip my sanity.
Pictures!
Tessa in her "Dorothy braids" at a gymnastics birthday party:
Pardon the orientation on this one - still getting used to my new camera and editing software. Tessa at gymnastics.
Lined up at the party, waiting to go on the gymnastics floor.
"Mommy, take my picture!"
Tea parties are becoming an even more regular feature at home. I found a tea cozy a while ago that makes me feel like I'm in a country garden every time I see it...
Pardon the orientation on this one - still getting used to my new camera and editing software. Tessa at gymnastics.
Lined up at the party, waiting to go on the gymnastics floor.
"Mommy, take my picture!"
Tea parties are becoming an even more regular feature at home. I found a tea cozy a while ago that makes me feel like I'm in a country garden every time I see it...
This picture reminds me of the first picture I ever saw of Shep, on the Petfinder.com website. Only he was MUCH smaller! He is a fabulous dog; I do love him.
My little spiritual center, on top of Grandpa G.'s bookcase. The candle with leaves reminds me of nature's beauty and bounty; the cross reminds me of forgiveness and redemption; Buddha reminds me of compassion. I feel a peacefulness each time I pass by.
"Mommy, take my picture!" Tessa in her room.
More tea parties.
Another tea party, this one for lunch with Zoe and Jenny a while ago.
My little spiritual center, on top of Grandpa G.'s bookcase. The candle with leaves reminds me of nature's beauty and bounty; the cross reminds me of forgiveness and redemption; Buddha reminds me of compassion. I feel a peacefulness each time I pass by.
"Mommy, take my picture!" Tessa in her room.
More tea parties.
Another tea party, this one for lunch with Zoe and Jenny a while ago.
The Library
I am re-addicted to the public library. I've gone twice this week, and I keep returning to my computer to place holds on books as I hear about that. I continue to remind myself that I can buy any book that I read and fall in love with; mostly I don't want to own them, I want to savor them and then give them back. (Or, I skim them, don't like them, and return them. Okay either way.)
I did make that giant spinach salad yesterday, and I brought some to my parents as well to share it for lunch. I had it for lunch AND dinner yesterday, with leftovers for lunch today. I never do that, usually choosing diversity over common sense, but I'm glad I did it. We had Jenny & Zoe over for lunch, so I supplemented with grilled cheese sandwiches made on home-made bread. I have learned that Tillamook cheese is milked and processed in Tillamook, OR, which is local enough for me (the 100 mile rule is too restrictive, in my opinion, and Tillamook is maybe 200 miles from here), and their cows aren't treated with growth hormones, which is REALLY important to me. It's not organice, but it's closer to what I want....and cheap. At Costco, for the big size, it's $2.60/pound, which is a great deal.
See, I CAN be taught. And this doesn't need to be restrictive...I'm eating better than ever.
I'm struggling with the vegetable garden, though. I am not a natural gardener; as a matter of fact, if anything, I have a red thumb, not a green one. This is going to be a stretch. How do I do tomato starts, for example? Can I do them in egg cartons or do they need something bigger? Should I be saving yogurt containers etc to grow them? I am reading books that are aimed at someone who has a higher base-level knowledge than I do; I need to find more beginner stuff. I know that crops are seasonal, and I can plan lettuce for spring harvest, tomatoes for summer harvest, and kale for winter harvest (I've learned that much), but I don't know when each has to be planted, and what can share a garden bed. Can I plant kale when the tomatoes die, in the same spot? How do I get the maximum crop from the smallest amount of space? And how do I figure out issues of sun/shade for each? Not questions of great intellect, but I'm realizing that i lack this simple knowledge. I'm also trying to learn about how much compost/worm bin material to use. Can I use only compost and not purchased fertilizer? We might need another worm bin, as our two bins won't nearly cover what I'd like to do (they're not that big).
I'd like to grow:
strawberries
blueberries
lettuce
tomatoes
zuchinni
pumpkins (probably the baking variety, something like a sugar pumpkin)
broccoli
carrots
onions
potatoes
garlic
kale
rhubarb
....and maybe corn.
We have two beds: the back raised bed, which is a bit shady but has grown tomatoes before so it's not too bad on one half; and the to-be-created bed in the front yard, which gets better sun. In the back, I envision the potatoes, pumpkins, rhubarb, and zuchinni; in the front I imagine all of the other stuff.
Now, off for errands; Tessa is at preschool.
I did make that giant spinach salad yesterday, and I brought some to my parents as well to share it for lunch. I had it for lunch AND dinner yesterday, with leftovers for lunch today. I never do that, usually choosing diversity over common sense, but I'm glad I did it. We had Jenny & Zoe over for lunch, so I supplemented with grilled cheese sandwiches made on home-made bread. I have learned that Tillamook cheese is milked and processed in Tillamook, OR, which is local enough for me (the 100 mile rule is too restrictive, in my opinion, and Tillamook is maybe 200 miles from here), and their cows aren't treated with growth hormones, which is REALLY important to me. It's not organice, but it's closer to what I want....and cheap. At Costco, for the big size, it's $2.60/pound, which is a great deal.
See, I CAN be taught. And this doesn't need to be restrictive...I'm eating better than ever.
I'm struggling with the vegetable garden, though. I am not a natural gardener; as a matter of fact, if anything, I have a red thumb, not a green one. This is going to be a stretch. How do I do tomato starts, for example? Can I do them in egg cartons or do they need something bigger? Should I be saving yogurt containers etc to grow them? I am reading books that are aimed at someone who has a higher base-level knowledge than I do; I need to find more beginner stuff. I know that crops are seasonal, and I can plan lettuce for spring harvest, tomatoes for summer harvest, and kale for winter harvest (I've learned that much), but I don't know when each has to be planted, and what can share a garden bed. Can I plant kale when the tomatoes die, in the same spot? How do I get the maximum crop from the smallest amount of space? And how do I figure out issues of sun/shade for each? Not questions of great intellect, but I'm realizing that i lack this simple knowledge. I'm also trying to learn about how much compost/worm bin material to use. Can I use only compost and not purchased fertilizer? We might need another worm bin, as our two bins won't nearly cover what I'd like to do (they're not that big).
I'd like to grow:
strawberries
blueberries
lettuce
tomatoes
zuchinni
pumpkins (probably the baking variety, something like a sugar pumpkin)
broccoli
carrots
onions
potatoes
garlic
kale
rhubarb
....and maybe corn.
We have two beds: the back raised bed, which is a bit shady but has grown tomatoes before so it's not too bad on one half; and the to-be-created bed in the front yard, which gets better sun. In the back, I envision the potatoes, pumpkins, rhubarb, and zuchinni; in the front I imagine all of the other stuff.
Now, off for errands; Tessa is at preschool.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Yoga
I love yoga. I've been doing some slow yoga classes lately: they're not cardio, but they are fabulous stretches and they make me feel so great. Lori and I went to one on Sunday, and Sarah and I went tonight. The Y offers these classes free to members, and it's close enough to walk (especially in this great weather). Tonight, in honor of the lunar eclipse (which was beautiful), we did a lot of moon salutes; I'd never done those before (though I've done countless sun salutes) but they were great and made me feel like I was in touch with the earth. Ancient rituals...
Today I visited with my mom, and she's doing great. I'm proud of her hard work at healing, and her great attitude about it. Nothing about it is easy - bedrest stinks, to put it mildly - but she's holding up well, and starting to be more active.
I went to the library today and picked up a book about organic vegetable gardening, in addition to some other books. I'm getting serious about growing some of our food, so we'll see how this goes. I have a LOT to learn.
I'm too tired for more; it's past my bedtime. Goodnight.
Today I visited with my mom, and she's doing great. I'm proud of her hard work at healing, and her great attitude about it. Nothing about it is easy - bedrest stinks, to put it mildly - but she's holding up well, and starting to be more active.
I went to the library today and picked up a book about organic vegetable gardening, in addition to some other books. I'm getting serious about growing some of our food, so we'll see how this goes. I have a LOT to learn.
I'm too tired for more; it's past my bedtime. Goodnight.
Simple Living
With all of the talk of frugality in this house, I thought I'd create a list of FUN stuff that doesn't cost money - things that bring me joy. Here's a beginning of a list:
Family days on Alki, building a sand castle
Hiking in one of the many parks in West Seattle Attending public library lectures
Attending art night downtown ("First Thursday")
Taking advantage of our memberships to the aquarium, Science Center, and zoo
Exploring different parks and events in the city: What's fun in Magnolia? The arboretum? Kirkland? What's going on in Wallingford these days?Author talks at local bookstores
Take the ferry to Bainbridge and walk around Eagle Harbor
Music at C&P
Snowshoeing in the winter
Hiking in spring, summer, and fall
Camping, camping and more camping: North Cascades, Desolation Pass, Kayak Point, etc are all right in our backyard and fabulous
Family game night with board games
Unwinding at the end of the day with a glass of wine and a square of really good chocolate
Watching movies from the library or Hisatomi-flix
Gardening and anticipating those vine ripe delights: tomatoes, strawberries, blueberries, and more
Watching Shep run on the beach at Lincoln Park
Yoga on the beach, early in the morning, by myself
Family days at the YMCA: swimming together, or doing their family program
Long walks
Sitting on our front porch, the lights out, admiring the stars and drinking hot tea
Having friends around for simple dinners
Visiting family in Portland, Spokane, and Vancouver
Family bike ride to Alki Café and back
Lying in our hammock under the flowering dogwood
Making jam with Tessa and seeing her delight
Visiting community farms to learn about food production
Reading about different people, places, times, and ideas
Browsing all I like at Leisure Books and even buying things sometimes from my account of trades
Candles all over the house lit; sitting quietly and enjoying them
Mornings drinking coffee in bed
Watching birds in our backyard as the flutter around the birdfeeder
The water taxi
Picnics galore
Orcas Island trips to the cabin
Meditating in our living room
Visiting with my parents, seeing their love for Tessa and Shep's love for Foster
Feeling proud of our accomplishments toward simple living and saving the environment
Tea parties
Running into friends at the farmer's market and listening to music together
And here are some of my ideas for being frugal and protecting the environment/lowering my carbon footprint:
Find creative ways to use the food in our refrigerator, not allowing it to go to waste.
Shop according to the seasons and the sales for food: more leeks in winter, more tomatoes in summer, and if we need to eat pork for one week or chicken for a whole week that's okay.
Buy less expensive cuts of meat: whole chicken instead of boneless/skinless breasts, Costco frozen Alaskan wild salmon instead of whatever's at Thriftway, pork tenderloin instead of beef tenderloin, ground beef instead of steak, etc. Save "special" cuts of meat for "special" occassions.
Cook one vegetarian meal per week, and one egg-based meal per week.
Make organic, whole grain bread instead of buying it.
Avoid situations which prompt impulse shopping: trips to Target, Costco, shopping trips with friends, Carmelia's, Marshall's etc. When necessary to go to these places, go in with a list and stick to it.
Lower the thermostat to 66 (it has been at 67 for the past few months, down from 68) and keep it there. Put on a sweater!
Avoid coffee shops except as social destinations. Make coffee at home.
Pack a lunch for Ryan daily.
Use vinegar and baking soda as primary household cleaners.
Switch from disposable Swiffer products to old cut-up t-shirts for rags.
Take Tessa swimming at the Y once a week instead of taking her to swimming lessons.
Use the library and Hisatomi-flix for DVDs, including exercise DVDs.
Sell clothing that is still fashionable but doesn't fit well to consignment shops.
Trade books at Leisure Books, and refrain from buying books.
Refrain from buying magazines (save cost of magazine plus the desire to spend that magazines focus on!).
Never shop as a leisure activity.
Walk instead of driving whenever possible, including Tues/Thurs to and from preschool and Fri home from preschool. Take Shep for these walks.
Burn music CDs from friends (and share mine) instead of buying them.
For gifts, give home-made bread, etc. Keep gift costs low, and announce to friends/family the intent to stop the gift exchanges.
Plan ahead for the holidays - how to cut expenses/gift giving, and how to lower costs by being more organized (e.g. make jam in June).
Resume hiking as a leisure activity; encourage family to join (pack a picnic, spend the day).
Reduce entertaining expenses by having only one family over at a time, or by having potlucks.
Reduce wine intake.
If necessary to buy, buy used: Goodwill, Funky Jane's, Small Clothes, ACS Thrift, Senior Thrift, Leisure Books, etc.
Participate in Michele's "Ecomoms" group, learning how to lower carbon footprint and be economical.
Go on a crusade to turn off lights in the house.
Research how to use gray-water to water the garden.
Take the bus to doc appts or find free parking areas. Research canning, dehydrating, freezing, storing fruits and vegetables. Make jam.
Family days on Alki, building a sand castle
Hiking in one of the many parks in West Seattle Attending public library lectures
Attending art night downtown ("First Thursday")
Taking advantage of our memberships to the aquarium, Science Center, and zoo
Exploring different parks and events in the city: What's fun in Magnolia? The arboretum? Kirkland? What's going on in Wallingford these days?Author talks at local bookstores
Take the ferry to Bainbridge and walk around Eagle Harbor
Music at C&P
Snowshoeing in the winter
Hiking in spring, summer, and fall
Camping, camping and more camping: North Cascades, Desolation Pass, Kayak Point, etc are all right in our backyard and fabulous
Family game night with board games
Unwinding at the end of the day with a glass of wine and a square of really good chocolate
Watching movies from the library or Hisatomi-flix
Gardening and anticipating those vine ripe delights: tomatoes, strawberries, blueberries, and more
Watching Shep run on the beach at Lincoln Park
Yoga on the beach, early in the morning, by myself
Family days at the YMCA: swimming together, or doing their family program
Long walks
Sitting on our front porch, the lights out, admiring the stars and drinking hot tea
Having friends around for simple dinners
Visiting family in Portland, Spokane, and Vancouver
Family bike ride to Alki Café and back
Lying in our hammock under the flowering dogwood
Making jam with Tessa and seeing her delight
Visiting community farms to learn about food production
Reading about different people, places, times, and ideas
Browsing all I like at Leisure Books and even buying things sometimes from my account of trades
Candles all over the house lit; sitting quietly and enjoying them
Mornings drinking coffee in bed
Watching birds in our backyard as the flutter around the birdfeeder
The water taxi
Picnics galore
Orcas Island trips to the cabin
Meditating in our living room
Visiting with my parents, seeing their love for Tessa and Shep's love for Foster
Feeling proud of our accomplishments toward simple living and saving the environment
Tea parties
Running into friends at the farmer's market and listening to music together
And here are some of my ideas for being frugal and protecting the environment/lowering my carbon footprint:
Find creative ways to use the food in our refrigerator, not allowing it to go to waste.
Shop according to the seasons and the sales for food: more leeks in winter, more tomatoes in summer, and if we need to eat pork for one week or chicken for a whole week that's okay.
Buy less expensive cuts of meat: whole chicken instead of boneless/skinless breasts, Costco frozen Alaskan wild salmon instead of whatever's at Thriftway, pork tenderloin instead of beef tenderloin, ground beef instead of steak, etc. Save "special" cuts of meat for "special" occassions.
Cook one vegetarian meal per week, and one egg-based meal per week.
Make organic, whole grain bread instead of buying it.
Avoid situations which prompt impulse shopping: trips to Target, Costco, shopping trips with friends, Carmelia's, Marshall's etc. When necessary to go to these places, go in with a list and stick to it.
Lower the thermostat to 66 (it has been at 67 for the past few months, down from 68) and keep it there. Put on a sweater!
Avoid coffee shops except as social destinations. Make coffee at home.
Pack a lunch for Ryan daily.
Use vinegar and baking soda as primary household cleaners.
Switch from disposable Swiffer products to old cut-up t-shirts for rags.
Take Tessa swimming at the Y once a week instead of taking her to swimming lessons.
Use the library and Hisatomi-flix for DVDs, including exercise DVDs.
Sell clothing that is still fashionable but doesn't fit well to consignment shops.
Trade books at Leisure Books, and refrain from buying books.
Refrain from buying magazines (save cost of magazine plus the desire to spend that magazines focus on!).
Never shop as a leisure activity.
Walk instead of driving whenever possible, including Tues/Thurs to and from preschool and Fri home from preschool. Take Shep for these walks.
Burn music CDs from friends (and share mine) instead of buying them.
For gifts, give home-made bread, etc. Keep gift costs low, and announce to friends/family the intent to stop the gift exchanges.
Plan ahead for the holidays - how to cut expenses/gift giving, and how to lower costs by being more organized (e.g. make jam in June).
Resume hiking as a leisure activity; encourage family to join (pack a picnic, spend the day).
Reduce entertaining expenses by having only one family over at a time, or by having potlucks.
Reduce wine intake.
If necessary to buy, buy used: Goodwill, Funky Jane's, Small Clothes, ACS Thrift, Senior Thrift, Leisure Books, etc.
Participate in Michele's "Ecomoms" group, learning how to lower carbon footprint and be economical.
Go on a crusade to turn off lights in the house.
Research how to use gray-water to water the garden.
Take the bus to doc appts or find free parking areas. Research canning, dehydrating, freezing, storing fruits and vegetables. Make jam.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dinner
Take one whole, free range chicken, rinse and pat dry.
Sprinkle dried thyme (the recipe called for fresh, but I didn't have any, so I used dry as a substitute) inside the cavity, and then stuff with lemons (leftover from the crab feast), rosemary (from our garden), and onion and garlic cloves(sitting on my countertop as a part of my usual stock of goods).
Roast in the oven for 30 minutes, then add chicken broth (from my pantry) and lemon juice (used up another fresh lemon); baste regularly until done (about another hour).
To make gravy, use pantry ingredients (water, cornstarch, shallot, garlic); mix well, stir constantly.
To this recipe, I decided to add vegetables. I chopped up potatoes from the farmer's market, as well as some carrots, zuchinni, and bok choy that I happened to have in my fridge, and placed these around the chicken at appropriate times as the bird was cooking (first just chicken, then add potatoes, then carrots, etc.).
Dinner tonight was excellent. It's amazing how different a whole chicken tastes than just a piece. I'm used to buying boneless, skinless breasts, but they're more expensive and more processed, so I bought a whole bird. I wasn't prepared for the major difference in tenderness and flavor - it was much, much better than if I'd done a similar recipe with boneless/skinless. I did remove the skin before carving; I still want to watch my weight, and this plan doesn't change that. The whole dinner was 7 points but tasted ridiculously rich.
Okay, so I'm boasting, and this kind of thing doesn't make good reading. If anyone's actually reading this, I apologize; my intent is more to remind myself than anyone else that my goals of not wasting food, eating locally, etc. are not punishments. The meal was not all local, but it was a step in the right direction. The ingredients were not all seasonal (lemons? in Seattle? in FEBRUARY?). But I didn't waste stuff. My refrigerator is starting to look (gasp! can it be?) bare. (My fridge is never bare. My fridge is always stuffed to the gills.) This delights me. Usually, food gets wasted and thrown away as new food replaces it. (Again, there's an embarassment factor...I hope nobody is here to judge.) Not today. Today, I had this little success, a little move in the right direction. And the results were beautiful, successful, delicious, flavorful.
And I haven't even mentioned yet that the carcass is bubbling away on my stove, turning into stock. I wasn't well prepared for that step - out of onions, I used green onions including the whites. No celery, so I chopped up the last fresh zuchinni. Soon, I will cool it, strain it, and put it into a container to freeze, and next time a recipe calls for stock I'll have homemade stock at home. Next time I'll be better prepared for the stock part, as this one is sure to be a little bland, but I'll figure out a good way to use it anyway.
I'm planning tomorrow's main meal around spinach because I've got loads of it. Maybe a simple spinach salad with leftover chicken diced into it....and the last couple avocados, and I'll make a couple hard-boiled eggs....
This is a lot of work. Mostly, it's a lot of planning, because I'm not used to it. That's okay. I'm adjusting. My hope and thought is that after doing this for a while, it will come easier, because I'll have thought it through before.
Also, we eat a lot of international cuisines - Japanse, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Thai...and the stuff I'm finding on local food/seasonal food seems to be more traditional (roasted veggies and meats). I'll have to work on that. I like big flavors.
Sprinkle dried thyme (the recipe called for fresh, but I didn't have any, so I used dry as a substitute) inside the cavity, and then stuff with lemons (leftover from the crab feast), rosemary (from our garden), and onion and garlic cloves(sitting on my countertop as a part of my usual stock of goods).
Roast in the oven for 30 minutes, then add chicken broth (from my pantry) and lemon juice (used up another fresh lemon); baste regularly until done (about another hour).
To make gravy, use pantry ingredients (water, cornstarch, shallot, garlic); mix well, stir constantly.
To this recipe, I decided to add vegetables. I chopped up potatoes from the farmer's market, as well as some carrots, zuchinni, and bok choy that I happened to have in my fridge, and placed these around the chicken at appropriate times as the bird was cooking (first just chicken, then add potatoes, then carrots, etc.).
Dinner tonight was excellent. It's amazing how different a whole chicken tastes than just a piece. I'm used to buying boneless, skinless breasts, but they're more expensive and more processed, so I bought a whole bird. I wasn't prepared for the major difference in tenderness and flavor - it was much, much better than if I'd done a similar recipe with boneless/skinless. I did remove the skin before carving; I still want to watch my weight, and this plan doesn't change that. The whole dinner was 7 points but tasted ridiculously rich.
Okay, so I'm boasting, and this kind of thing doesn't make good reading. If anyone's actually reading this, I apologize; my intent is more to remind myself than anyone else that my goals of not wasting food, eating locally, etc. are not punishments. The meal was not all local, but it was a step in the right direction. The ingredients were not all seasonal (lemons? in Seattle? in FEBRUARY?). But I didn't waste stuff. My refrigerator is starting to look (gasp! can it be?) bare. (My fridge is never bare. My fridge is always stuffed to the gills.) This delights me. Usually, food gets wasted and thrown away as new food replaces it. (Again, there's an embarassment factor...I hope nobody is here to judge.) Not today. Today, I had this little success, a little move in the right direction. And the results were beautiful, successful, delicious, flavorful.
And I haven't even mentioned yet that the carcass is bubbling away on my stove, turning into stock. I wasn't well prepared for that step - out of onions, I used green onions including the whites. No celery, so I chopped up the last fresh zuchinni. Soon, I will cool it, strain it, and put it into a container to freeze, and next time a recipe calls for stock I'll have homemade stock at home. Next time I'll be better prepared for the stock part, as this one is sure to be a little bland, but I'll figure out a good way to use it anyway.
I'm planning tomorrow's main meal around spinach because I've got loads of it. Maybe a simple spinach salad with leftover chicken diced into it....and the last couple avocados, and I'll make a couple hard-boiled eggs....
This is a lot of work. Mostly, it's a lot of planning, because I'm not used to it. That's okay. I'm adjusting. My hope and thought is that after doing this for a while, it will come easier, because I'll have thought it through before.
Also, we eat a lot of international cuisines - Japanse, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Thai...and the stuff I'm finding on local food/seasonal food seems to be more traditional (roasted veggies and meats). I'll have to work on that. I like big flavors.
The little things
Today I will walk Shep to preschool to pick up Tessa, saving two miles of driving, and getting us some exercise.
Today I parked two blocks from the parking garage at my doctor's office, on the street, so that I got to stretch my legs and didn't pay the ridiculous garage fees.
Today I decided that instead of buying myself a latte/Americano I would come home and make myself a cup of tea.
Last night, instead of watching TV, I read for a couple of hours before bed.
Tonight, I came up with a recipe (from Weight Watchers) based on ingredients currently in my refrigerator, saving me yet another trip to the grocery store, and not wasting what we already have. (And it uses a whole chicken, so my plan is to use the leftovers to make a soup, creating another healthy meal and not wasting the leftovers.)
So these things are really, really small . They don't add up to much. But I will stubbornly persist in the idea that if I continue on this path, my carbon footprint will be smaller, my bank account will be bigger, my body will be healthier, and my soul will be more content.
I hope so, anyway.
Today I parked two blocks from the parking garage at my doctor's office, on the street, so that I got to stretch my legs and didn't pay the ridiculous garage fees.
Today I decided that instead of buying myself a latte/Americano I would come home and make myself a cup of tea.
Last night, instead of watching TV, I read for a couple of hours before bed.
Tonight, I came up with a recipe (from Weight Watchers) based on ingredients currently in my refrigerator, saving me yet another trip to the grocery store, and not wasting what we already have. (And it uses a whole chicken, so my plan is to use the leftovers to make a soup, creating another healthy meal and not wasting the leftovers.)
So these things are really, really small . They don't add up to much. But I will stubbornly persist in the idea that if I continue on this path, my carbon footprint will be smaller, my bank account will be bigger, my body will be healthier, and my soul will be more content.
I hope so, anyway.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Waste not, want not
I grew up with that expression. Perhaps in rebellion, I'm slowly coming to the realization that I haven't applied it to my own life.
It's obvious in the amount of stuff I have, and that I end up throwing away or giving away.... too much stuff.
It's even more obvious by the amount of food we waste.
I have eaten according to my whims: what sounds good today? What do I feel like? I have eaten whatever I want, without regard to the contents of my refrigerator. This is a disaster.
I'm not going to get into it here today because of short time, but I wanted to record the thought even briefly.
I'm determined to eat what is available. If I defrosted cod, then we must eat cod that night. If we don't, then the cod isn't fresh, and ends up in the trash. It's embarassing to write that, it's so wasteful, but it's the truth. What a waste.
And leftovers. Leftovers are not meant to be stored until spoiled, then thrown away.
My commitment: to cook what I buy, with minimal waste. To eat leftovers. To eat what's in the fridge, not what's on my mind. Enough said.
In other notes, I followed through and went to the farmer's market yesterday, where I bought kale, potatoes, cranberry beans, cheese, and sausage (from Vashon Island, which we can see out our kitchen window). (We were already stocked up on carrots, onions, bread, and honey, or I would have made those purchases, too.)
And today, simmering away in the crockpot, are the beans, potatoes, kale, and sausage from that trip, along with carrots, onions, tomato sauce, thyme, bay leaf, wine, roasted turkey breast, a bit of ham....and one red pepper, chopped up small, because though it wasn't part of the recipe it needed to get used and I figured it wouldn't hurt. (Waste not want not - see, I can be taught!) Tonight for dinner we'll have this faux-cassoulet, with some home made bread. It's not a 100-mile diet, and it's not all local, but it's a really good start.
It feels good to be intentional.
For the record, I have no intention of becoming a 100-mile-diet person, and buying everything local. I don't want to give up coffee, chocolate, wheat, baking soda, salt, sugar, and fresh fruit in the winter. However, I believe that I can make huge strides toward eating more seasonally and more locally than I currently do. Tonight's dinner is a good example of that: I know where most of that food was grown, and I know that though I already had the tomato sauce on hand, next time I can get some made locally. The cranberry beans are a new item on the list for our family - full of protein and fiber, locally grown, they are a step in the right direction. An even bigger step would be to build the whole meal around them, vegetarian style, and we will get there.
Today, the house smells fantastic, filling with the smell of this dish. The sun is shining, the water is sparkling*, the air is fresh. Good reminders of our bounty.
*We have a view!!! Our neighbors cut down a tree between our two yards, and suddenly we can see the ocean (Puget Sound) from our deck, kitchen window, and dining room. This is a little unexpected slice of heaven. It's by no means a sweeping view, and when the trees fill in with spring leaves the view will be blocked for the warm months, but today I'm delighted to see the ocean. What a treat.
It's obvious in the amount of stuff I have, and that I end up throwing away or giving away.... too much stuff.
It's even more obvious by the amount of food we waste.
I have eaten according to my whims: what sounds good today? What do I feel like? I have eaten whatever I want, without regard to the contents of my refrigerator. This is a disaster.
I'm not going to get into it here today because of short time, but I wanted to record the thought even briefly.
I'm determined to eat what is available. If I defrosted cod, then we must eat cod that night. If we don't, then the cod isn't fresh, and ends up in the trash. It's embarassing to write that, it's so wasteful, but it's the truth. What a waste.
And leftovers. Leftovers are not meant to be stored until spoiled, then thrown away.
My commitment: to cook what I buy, with minimal waste. To eat leftovers. To eat what's in the fridge, not what's on my mind. Enough said.
In other notes, I followed through and went to the farmer's market yesterday, where I bought kale, potatoes, cranberry beans, cheese, and sausage (from Vashon Island, which we can see out our kitchen window). (We were already stocked up on carrots, onions, bread, and honey, or I would have made those purchases, too.)
And today, simmering away in the crockpot, are the beans, potatoes, kale, and sausage from that trip, along with carrots, onions, tomato sauce, thyme, bay leaf, wine, roasted turkey breast, a bit of ham....and one red pepper, chopped up small, because though it wasn't part of the recipe it needed to get used and I figured it wouldn't hurt. (Waste not want not - see, I can be taught!) Tonight for dinner we'll have this faux-cassoulet, with some home made bread. It's not a 100-mile diet, and it's not all local, but it's a really good start.
It feels good to be intentional.
For the record, I have no intention of becoming a 100-mile-diet person, and buying everything local. I don't want to give up coffee, chocolate, wheat, baking soda, salt, sugar, and fresh fruit in the winter. However, I believe that I can make huge strides toward eating more seasonally and more locally than I currently do. Tonight's dinner is a good example of that: I know where most of that food was grown, and I know that though I already had the tomato sauce on hand, next time I can get some made locally. The cranberry beans are a new item on the list for our family - full of protein and fiber, locally grown, they are a step in the right direction. An even bigger step would be to build the whole meal around them, vegetarian style, and we will get there.
Today, the house smells fantastic, filling with the smell of this dish. The sun is shining, the water is sparkling*, the air is fresh. Good reminders of our bounty.
*We have a view!!! Our neighbors cut down a tree between our two yards, and suddenly we can see the ocean (Puget Sound) from our deck, kitchen window, and dining room. This is a little unexpected slice of heaven. It's by no means a sweeping view, and when the trees fill in with spring leaves the view will be blocked for the warm months, but today I'm delighted to see the ocean. What a treat.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Sunday night
This afternoon we planted blueberry bushes in the front yard - will we have a blueberry crop this summer? Time will tell.
I did yoga class at the Y tonight. My mind was going crazy and I couldn't make it still, even with the deep breathing exercises. How annoying.
I did yoga class at the Y tonight. My mind was going crazy and I couldn't make it still, even with the deep breathing exercises. How annoying.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Real, honest to goodness bread
I just had my first bite of home made bread, hot from the bread machine. The house smells excellent, I'm calculating that it's about $1 per loaf for organic bread, and I know exactly went into the bread (no long list of unpronounceable chemical ingredients here....and no preservatives or other nasty extras, either). All I do is measure water, oil (I'm going to experiment with different types; I used canola oil this time), salt, honey (I'm going to try a molasses version, too), flour and yeast, push the buttons, and I'm done.
I'm not going to try garlic cheese bread yet, though it's tempting.
I'm not going to try garlic cheese bread yet, though it's tempting.
Take III
The third try at bread is underway. First, not baked. Second, baked but overkneaded. I'm hoping that third time is a charm.
I found local (Bob's Red Mill near Mom & Dad S. in Milwaulkie, OR), organic flour for $4.19 for five pounds at PCC. I found local honey (I bought blackberry honey - we'll see if I like that or decide to revert to wildflower honey). I found bulk yeast (instead of being highly packaged with 6 teaspoons for $2, this is 8 ounces for $4, a considerably better deal with much less packaging). I haven't calculated yet how many loaves I can make per 5 pound bag of flour, so I haven't yet calculated the cost per loaf.....but it's a lot less than I've paid elsewhere.
Anyway, there's a bit of the thrill of the hunt to get it figured out. I will be more excited if the loaf currently in the machine actually tastes good!
Today we went to two birthday parties, and we stopped by the library. Ryan stayed home for this; he's not feeling well (congested, headcold). After bowling and gymnastics today, Tessa's tired, so she and Daddy are watching a Clifford video.
And I'm poking around with gardening ideas and baking bread. Who'd a thunk?
Be much more impressed if, at the end of the summer, the garden has been planted, the crop watered, and the food edible. Right now, this is all ideas. Wait to see if this bread thing is going to pan out, too. But I am happy to at least be on a path, and it's much better than moping around (which feels like the alternative still).
I found local (Bob's Red Mill near Mom & Dad S. in Milwaulkie, OR), organic flour for $4.19 for five pounds at PCC. I found local honey (I bought blackberry honey - we'll see if I like that or decide to revert to wildflower honey). I found bulk yeast (instead of being highly packaged with 6 teaspoons for $2, this is 8 ounces for $4, a considerably better deal with much less packaging). I haven't calculated yet how many loaves I can make per 5 pound bag of flour, so I haven't yet calculated the cost per loaf.....but it's a lot less than I've paid elsewhere.
Anyway, there's a bit of the thrill of the hunt to get it figured out. I will be more excited if the loaf currently in the machine actually tastes good!
Today we went to two birthday parties, and we stopped by the library. Ryan stayed home for this; he's not feeling well (congested, headcold). After bowling and gymnastics today, Tessa's tired, so she and Daddy are watching a Clifford video.
And I'm poking around with gardening ideas and baking bread. Who'd a thunk?
Be much more impressed if, at the end of the summer, the garden has been planted, the crop watered, and the food edible. Right now, this is all ideas. Wait to see if this bread thing is going to pan out, too. But I am happy to at least be on a path, and it's much better than moping around (which feels like the alternative still).
Take II
Okay, I re-set the bread machine, and this time the bread actually baked. Hurrah! Of course, it was heavy and strange because the dough had gone through the kneeding/rising twice, which isn't okay for bread, but now I know the machine works.
Next, off to the store to buy more honey, to find local flour, to find bulk yeast. Actually, next, off to another birthday party (a preschool friend), and THEN to the store. Maybe tonight we'll have fresh bread and soup.
Next, off to the store to buy more honey, to find local flour, to find bulk yeast. Actually, next, off to another birthday party (a preschool friend), and THEN to the store. Maybe tonight we'll have fresh bread and soup.
Grrr
Bumps in the road.
Ryan isn't well this morning; he's raspy and congested and feels lousy. My throat is sore, but he's obviously the worse off right now.
And the darn bread didn't work. It did the kneading and the rising, but not the baking. Ack! I'm rebaking the same loaf on a different setting in the bread machine right now to see if it will work; the end result won't be good after sitting out all night but I want to make sure the machine is going to work before wasting more ingredients. Plus, I'm out of honey.
Ryan isn't well this morning; he's raspy and congested and feels lousy. My throat is sore, but he's obviously the worse off right now.
And the darn bread didn't work. It did the kneading and the rising, but not the baking. Ack! I'm rebaking the same loaf on a different setting in the bread machine right now to see if it will work; the end result won't be good after sitting out all night but I want to make sure the machine is going to work before wasting more ingredients. Plus, I'm out of honey.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Bread
I have probably only baked with yeast a couple of times in my life since childhood. I like to cook, but I'm not a baker - Ghiradelli brownie mixes don't exactly count, so I usually only bake for birthdays (layer cake with buttercream frosting - YUM.)
As a child, I remember baking bread with my mom when I was quite small. I can clearly picture the corner of the kitchen we worked in; Mum (that's what I called her then) would pull the wooden cutting board out, place the bread dough she'd made upon it, and tell me to punch it and smack it and take out all of my anger. Contrary to raising feelings of old frustrations, this exercise seemed quite funny to me, and my own mock anger would make me giggle. I remember the feel of the dough under my fists - firm, yet it would squish if I punched it hard enough. I loved the yeasty smell of it, and the floury mess we made, and being with Mum together, two girls, doing something I didn't think of as work at all.
In hindsight, one of the reasons my mom made bread was to cut corners: we didn't have a lot of money, and my parents knew how to be thrifty. I didn't know about that back then...I just thought that it was a really cool, fun thing that we did together.
Finally, after a series of steps (which were quite laborious, in hindsight), the loaves would be ready to go into the oven. As they baked, the entire house would smell divine. And then, with great delight, we'd eat the bread fresh from the oven, steaming hot.
Tessa's memories of bread making, if she develops any, will be different - she'll miss the pounding of fists, but she'll get the stories.
Today I mentioned my desire to find a used bread machine, and my parents (proponents of the Atkins/low-carb lifestyle) told me to take theirs. I found it on a back shelf in their garage - it won't be missed by them, but it just might get some use here.
So, today, on the way home from visiting Mom/Mum (she's doing better, and even walked with a walker from one room to the next, and sat up in a reclining chair to chat) I stopped at Trader Joe's and picked up some whole wheat bread flour, some yeast, and some ground flax seed, and I was ready to go.
As I write this, the bread machine is grumbling away in the corner of our kitchen where it now lives. No flax seed in this recipe, as none of the bread recipes I have contain flax seed and I didn't want to experiment on my first loaf, but whole wheat honey bread is being made, right now, as I type, in my own kitchen. Now there's a miracle!
The yeast smells wonderful. The bread doesn't even have heat yet - all it is is a newly made dough, not risen, not even fully kneaded yet - and the house smells great.
I suspect that I made a mistake on this loaf; I made a recipe for a medium sized loaf (I had to choose between large, medium, and small, and not knowing what our machine would do, I picked medium....only to find out that the two options we have to choose from are large and small) so it might come out overdone. That's okay, and if it's awful, I will just start fresh. I've warned the family that the first few loaves will be experimental, and they're ready to wait for the perfect loaves that I'm dreaming of and selling them on.
My goal in all of this? Well, it's nice to think of myself as a breadmaker, but that's not it at all. I think that if I start doing some more research, I can make my bread environmentally friendly, healthy, and cheap. A,V,M suggested that each loaf of bread they made was $.50, and that was using organic flour (though they bought it in bulk, knowing that they'd make all of their own bread for the entire year, and I'm not willing to make that kind of commitment right now).
But here is the real thing inspiring me, besides saving a few bucks on bread per week. The real thing is that I'd like to buy locally produced goods, I'd like to cut back on packaging, I'd like to have organic. My local grocery stores don't have organic bread (though I do like Big Horn Valley, which isn't organic, but is 100% whole grain, doesn't have trans-fats, and doesn't contain high fructose corn syrup), and at Great Harvest it's something like $4.50 a loaf and requires a special trip just to buy bread (instead of grabbing it while I'm in the bread aisle, which is more convenient). And even at Great Harvest, it comes in packaging which ends up in a landfill.
So, I hope to find a source for local, organic bread flour (from eastern Washington?) and honey (which this recipe uses), as well as bulk (not individual packets) yeast. If I do that, then I will have local, organic bread at my disposal whenever I wish.
And lest anyone think I'm totally crazy, let me tell you, this isn't exactly hard to make. With a bread machine,t here is no kneading, no watching, no covering with a tea towel, no making sure the room is the right temperature. All I do is measure a few ingredients into a "bucket" that is a part of the machine, and push a few buttons (whole wheat; large loaf; medium brown crust; start) and in a few hours, the machine will beep and tell me that the bread is ready. I don't have to be there to take it out of the oven, as there is no oven: the bread machine turns itself off when it's done.
I don't want to be Martha Stewart, and I don't want to be a martyr, slaving away for the environment, and I don't want to give up all of my free time to save a few bucks. My goal is to find new ways to do things which are different, not necessarily more complicated, to reach my goals of being environmently friendly, local, healthy, organic, fresh, with no excess packaging. Maybe this is one way to do that. The real trick is not in the first loaf, but in finding out if it's a worthwhile habit.
(A side note: one concern about this process is that it might be TOO good. Loaves of bread are not a Weight Watchers staple. Now, a slice of whole wheat bread should be perfect....one point per slice. But a whole loaf could be a problem! Living in a house that smells like baking bread may cause appetite changes, and we'll have to see what that does. But maybe we'll just get used to it.)
It is not the answer. It will not cure the world's problems, or my own. But it is one little step in the right direction...and my house smells great.
As a child, I remember baking bread with my mom when I was quite small. I can clearly picture the corner of the kitchen we worked in; Mum (that's what I called her then) would pull the wooden cutting board out, place the bread dough she'd made upon it, and tell me to punch it and smack it and take out all of my anger. Contrary to raising feelings of old frustrations, this exercise seemed quite funny to me, and my own mock anger would make me giggle. I remember the feel of the dough under my fists - firm, yet it would squish if I punched it hard enough. I loved the yeasty smell of it, and the floury mess we made, and being with Mum together, two girls, doing something I didn't think of as work at all.
In hindsight, one of the reasons my mom made bread was to cut corners: we didn't have a lot of money, and my parents knew how to be thrifty. I didn't know about that back then...I just thought that it was a really cool, fun thing that we did together.
Finally, after a series of steps (which were quite laborious, in hindsight), the loaves would be ready to go into the oven. As they baked, the entire house would smell divine. And then, with great delight, we'd eat the bread fresh from the oven, steaming hot.
Tessa's memories of bread making, if she develops any, will be different - she'll miss the pounding of fists, but she'll get the stories.
Today I mentioned my desire to find a used bread machine, and my parents (proponents of the Atkins/low-carb lifestyle) told me to take theirs. I found it on a back shelf in their garage - it won't be missed by them, but it just might get some use here.
So, today, on the way home from visiting Mom/Mum (she's doing better, and even walked with a walker from one room to the next, and sat up in a reclining chair to chat) I stopped at Trader Joe's and picked up some whole wheat bread flour, some yeast, and some ground flax seed, and I was ready to go.
As I write this, the bread machine is grumbling away in the corner of our kitchen where it now lives. No flax seed in this recipe, as none of the bread recipes I have contain flax seed and I didn't want to experiment on my first loaf, but whole wheat honey bread is being made, right now, as I type, in my own kitchen. Now there's a miracle!
The yeast smells wonderful. The bread doesn't even have heat yet - all it is is a newly made dough, not risen, not even fully kneaded yet - and the house smells great.
I suspect that I made a mistake on this loaf; I made a recipe for a medium sized loaf (I had to choose between large, medium, and small, and not knowing what our machine would do, I picked medium....only to find out that the two options we have to choose from are large and small) so it might come out overdone. That's okay, and if it's awful, I will just start fresh. I've warned the family that the first few loaves will be experimental, and they're ready to wait for the perfect loaves that I'm dreaming of and selling them on.
My goal in all of this? Well, it's nice to think of myself as a breadmaker, but that's not it at all. I think that if I start doing some more research, I can make my bread environmentally friendly, healthy, and cheap. A,V,M suggested that each loaf of bread they made was $.50, and that was using organic flour (though they bought it in bulk, knowing that they'd make all of their own bread for the entire year, and I'm not willing to make that kind of commitment right now).
But here is the real thing inspiring me, besides saving a few bucks on bread per week. The real thing is that I'd like to buy locally produced goods, I'd like to cut back on packaging, I'd like to have organic. My local grocery stores don't have organic bread (though I do like Big Horn Valley, which isn't organic, but is 100% whole grain, doesn't have trans-fats, and doesn't contain high fructose corn syrup), and at Great Harvest it's something like $4.50 a loaf and requires a special trip just to buy bread (instead of grabbing it while I'm in the bread aisle, which is more convenient). And even at Great Harvest, it comes in packaging which ends up in a landfill.
So, I hope to find a source for local, organic bread flour (from eastern Washington?) and honey (which this recipe uses), as well as bulk (not individual packets) yeast. If I do that, then I will have local, organic bread at my disposal whenever I wish.
And lest anyone think I'm totally crazy, let me tell you, this isn't exactly hard to make. With a bread machine,t here is no kneading, no watching, no covering with a tea towel, no making sure the room is the right temperature. All I do is measure a few ingredients into a "bucket" that is a part of the machine, and push a few buttons (whole wheat; large loaf; medium brown crust; start) and in a few hours, the machine will beep and tell me that the bread is ready. I don't have to be there to take it out of the oven, as there is no oven: the bread machine turns itself off when it's done.
I don't want to be Martha Stewart, and I don't want to be a martyr, slaving away for the environment, and I don't want to give up all of my free time to save a few bucks. My goal is to find new ways to do things which are different, not necessarily more complicated, to reach my goals of being environmently friendly, local, healthy, organic, fresh, with no excess packaging. Maybe this is one way to do that. The real trick is not in the first loaf, but in finding out if it's a worthwhile habit.
(A side note: one concern about this process is that it might be TOO good. Loaves of bread are not a Weight Watchers staple. Now, a slice of whole wheat bread should be perfect....one point per slice. But a whole loaf could be a problem! Living in a house that smells like baking bread may cause appetite changes, and we'll have to see what that does. But maybe we'll just get used to it.)
It is not the answer. It will not cure the world's problems, or my own. But it is one little step in the right direction...and my house smells great.
small victories
Here is a small step for the environment, my pocketbook, and anti-clutter: the library.
I just went online and placed holds on a dozen books....about organic vegetable gardening in Seattle, guinea pigs (Tessa's preschool got one and Tessa was selected to name it: the chosen name is Buttercup and I have to say, she's really cute for a rodent!), parenting, voluntary simplicity....
This will not create clutter in my home. It doesn't cost a thing. Because the books are shared among many people, it's better for the environment.
I LOVE buying books. But if I borrowed more, it would be better. I get to read them. I get to return them. If I need them after I read them, I could still buy them (for example, if the weekly garden planner is excellent, maybe that would be a good choice). It's a no risk proposition, and I like that.
If I walk to the library, it would be perfect.
I just went online and placed holds on a dozen books....about organic vegetable gardening in Seattle, guinea pigs (Tessa's preschool got one and Tessa was selected to name it: the chosen name is Buttercup and I have to say, she's really cute for a rodent!), parenting, voluntary simplicity....
This will not create clutter in my home. It doesn't cost a thing. Because the books are shared among many people, it's better for the environment.
I LOVE buying books. But if I borrowed more, it would be better. I get to read them. I get to return them. If I need them after I read them, I could still buy them (for example, if the weekly garden planner is excellent, maybe that would be a good choice). It's a no risk proposition, and I like that.
If I walk to the library, it would be perfect.
Mulling it over
Ryan, Tessa and I had a really nice Valentine's evening. I picked up some king crab at Costco, and I made a simple dinner of steamed crab with garlic butter, cheesy orzo, and broccoli, with brownies for dessert. I used Great Aunt Helen's dishes - the ones my mom gave me when Ryan and I got married - because they are covered with little pink roses and lots of hand-painted gold flourishes, and most appropriate for Valentine's Day and tea parties. (The rest of the year, they sit in a cupboard...but oh I do love them.) Ryan and I drank wine from our wedding crystal, and Tessa had her milk in a fancy glass. I lit every candle (you know that's a lot - I LOVE candles) in the house and we ate by candlelight. Tessa and I even got dressed up.
After dinner, when Tessa was snug in her bed, Ryan and I stayed up and talked about the ideas I've been discussing in my blog. Though this time it's coming from me, Ryan was the person who first told me about the simplicity movement (Voluntary Simplicity and the book "Your Money or Your Life") and he is certainly on board with the concepts. Without even realizing that I had been writing about it, Ryan proposed a vegetable garden for this year. It's nice to be thinking on the same page.
Here is what I know for sure:
- I'm ready for change
- My spiritual quest is tied to my quest for a healthy body, healthy planet, healthy life
- I am seeking sources of inspiration from Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Islamic, and other spiritual sources (although it really seems like I'm on the Buddhism track right now, it's not because I'm becoming a Buddhist, it's because it's easier to be focused on one thing at a time in my learning to gain understanding)
- I believe that taking steps toward a healthy planet will actually assist me in having a healthier pocketbook in addition to a healthier body
And in a more concrete way, I know that:
- I want a vegetable garden
- I want to stop buying unnecessary items (a.k.a. most of what I buy)
- I want to hike, camp, snowshoe, spend time in my yard, play on the beach
- I'm going to shop more at PCC and the farmer's market
- I'm researching different food ideas....gardens, root cellars, canning, bread making, jam making, self-pick fruit
- I want to eat more seasonally, and I'm researching how to do this
- I am attempting to lower my carbon footprint by using less energy in our home
Would you even believe that I'd like to make my own cheese and yogurt?! According to A,V,M it can take just minutes to make once you have the system down. She described the process for making mozzarella, and it does sound simple. It would be amazing to make sandwiches this summer from home made bread, home made cheese, and garden grown tomatoes and basil...I think I'd feel like I'd climbed Everestt if I did that.
And yet I do NOT wish to be a pioneer woman. I do not wish to add to my "to do" list so that I feel more inadequate, frazzled, rushed. I just have to figure out how to do these things joyfully, or not do them at all.
In good news, I went to Thriftway (I had to do some banking there, too, as there is a WaMu branch there) this morning and bought a gallon of milk. I stood in front of the case, looking for my usual organic brand, and now they are carrying another brand labeled organic, but this one says "Locally grown!" in big letters. The difference? $6.19 a gallon for my usual organic brand (I try not to look at the cost of the non-organic brands, because I get so horrified at how much I'm spending), and $4.69 a HALF gallon for the "local" brand. I stood in dismay: I'm committed in theory to spending my money on local food, but the price is really awful. I piked up the local one, and read that it's from "Roy, in the shadows of Mt. Rainier." I picked up the other one, and read that it's distributed in Duvall, Washington. Duvall? That's right around the corner, more or less - HURRAH! Finally, I caught a break. I do not need to pay over $9 a gallon for milk. Ha.
After dinner, when Tessa was snug in her bed, Ryan and I stayed up and talked about the ideas I've been discussing in my blog. Though this time it's coming from me, Ryan was the person who first told me about the simplicity movement (Voluntary Simplicity and the book "Your Money or Your Life") and he is certainly on board with the concepts. Without even realizing that I had been writing about it, Ryan proposed a vegetable garden for this year. It's nice to be thinking on the same page.
Here is what I know for sure:
- I'm ready for change
- My spiritual quest is tied to my quest for a healthy body, healthy planet, healthy life
- I am seeking sources of inspiration from Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Islamic, and other spiritual sources (although it really seems like I'm on the Buddhism track right now, it's not because I'm becoming a Buddhist, it's because it's easier to be focused on one thing at a time in my learning to gain understanding)
- I believe that taking steps toward a healthy planet will actually assist me in having a healthier pocketbook in addition to a healthier body
And in a more concrete way, I know that:
- I want a vegetable garden
- I want to stop buying unnecessary items (a.k.a. most of what I buy)
- I want to hike, camp, snowshoe, spend time in my yard, play on the beach
- I'm going to shop more at PCC and the farmer's market
- I'm researching different food ideas....gardens, root cellars, canning, bread making, jam making, self-pick fruit
- I want to eat more seasonally, and I'm researching how to do this
- I am attempting to lower my carbon footprint by using less energy in our home
Would you even believe that I'd like to make my own cheese and yogurt?! According to A,V,M it can take just minutes to make once you have the system down. She described the process for making mozzarella, and it does sound simple. It would be amazing to make sandwiches this summer from home made bread, home made cheese, and garden grown tomatoes and basil...I think I'd feel like I'd climbed Everestt if I did that.
And yet I do NOT wish to be a pioneer woman. I do not wish to add to my "to do" list so that I feel more inadequate, frazzled, rushed. I just have to figure out how to do these things joyfully, or not do them at all.
In good news, I went to Thriftway (I had to do some banking there, too, as there is a WaMu branch there) this morning and bought a gallon of milk. I stood in front of the case, looking for my usual organic brand, and now they are carrying another brand labeled organic, but this one says "Locally grown!" in big letters. The difference? $6.19 a gallon for my usual organic brand (I try not to look at the cost of the non-organic brands, because I get so horrified at how much I'm spending), and $4.69 a HALF gallon for the "local" brand. I stood in dismay: I'm committed in theory to spending my money on local food, but the price is really awful. I piked up the local one, and read that it's from "Roy, in the shadows of Mt. Rainier." I picked up the other one, and read that it's distributed in Duvall, Washington. Duvall? That's right around the corner, more or less - HURRAH! Finally, I caught a break. I do not need to pay over $9 a gallon for milk. Ha.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
I got the name wrong in a previous post; funny how after reading 200 pages the NAME of the book wasn't on my tongue. Anyway, it's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver with Steven L. Hopp (her husband) and Camille Kingsolver (her daughter), and I just finished it.
I'm mulling it over, but I am determined to make some changes in my life.
For one, I can't wait to get to the farmer's market this weekend.
For another, I bought some little blueberry bushes to plant in our yard, and Ryan and I are actually talking about turning part of the front yard (seems crazy to have it in the front, but that's where the most sunlight is) into a small vegetable garden, in addition to planting zuchinni and pumpkins in the back yard's raised bed.
And I'll throw this out in internet land: does anyone have a bread machine languishing in their cupboard, closet, basement or garage? I'm intrigued to try using one for a while....whole grain bread with flax seed is on my list. Anyone? I'm not willing to buy one until I've figured out if it's something I'd use a lot...plus, I'm trying to buy less stuff! Anyway, anyone know where I can getg a used one? Anyone have one to give away or loan out?
I'm still not going to raise my own poultry. No way. And I'm going to keep drinking coffee. Organic bananas are so tasty, and Tessa and I really adore mangoes...
But I think I've committed to spending blackberry season picking buckets of beautiful berries and turning some into jam and freezing some. And I'm thinking of taking a trip to a strawberry farm to do that, too.
I swore off partially hydrogenated oils, food coloring, high fructose corn syrup, soda a long time ago. I seek out organic eggs, free range/organic chicken, meat raised without hormones, organic produce. I aim for whole grains. I'm on the right track, I know that. I feel certain of it, and I'm looking forward to the next parts of this adventure.
I'm mulling it over, but I am determined to make some changes in my life.
For one, I can't wait to get to the farmer's market this weekend.
For another, I bought some little blueberry bushes to plant in our yard, and Ryan and I are actually talking about turning part of the front yard (seems crazy to have it in the front, but that's where the most sunlight is) into a small vegetable garden, in addition to planting zuchinni and pumpkins in the back yard's raised bed.
And I'll throw this out in internet land: does anyone have a bread machine languishing in their cupboard, closet, basement or garage? I'm intrigued to try using one for a while....whole grain bread with flax seed is on my list. Anyone? I'm not willing to buy one until I've figured out if it's something I'd use a lot...plus, I'm trying to buy less stuff! Anyway, anyone know where I can getg a used one? Anyone have one to give away or loan out?
I'm still not going to raise my own poultry. No way. And I'm going to keep drinking coffee. Organic bananas are so tasty, and Tessa and I really adore mangoes...
But I think I've committed to spending blackberry season picking buckets of beautiful berries and turning some into jam and freezing some. And I'm thinking of taking a trip to a strawberry farm to do that, too.
I swore off partially hydrogenated oils, food coloring, high fructose corn syrup, soda a long time ago. I seek out organic eggs, free range/organic chicken, meat raised without hormones, organic produce. I aim for whole grains. I'm on the right track, I know that. I feel certain of it, and I'm looking forward to the next parts of this adventure.
more thinking
My friends Holly & Michele are on the same wavelength about some of the things I've been thinking about, and sent me "Story of Stuff" which is an internet video discussing how things are created and consumed. Not only does the "Story of Stuff" discuss the massive problems being created by "stuff" and our consumerist society, but it also offers solutions on the website.
Take a look at:
http://www.storyofstuff.com/
And then poke around the website for more info.
For me, the most thought provoking part of the video was actually something not contained in the video itself, but on the website. I knew and agreed with the general philosophies being presented in the video, so it wasn't new to me (though the approach is inventive and fresh), but the list of things that I personally can do to change the cycle is of particular interest. That's what I'm copying and pasting below...take a look.
By the way, I'm doing many of these things. We recycle (even with a worm bin for kitchen scraps). We eat primarily organic. We don't use pesticides in our yard. We only have one car. We use energy efficient lightbulbs.
But there is a long, long way to go. I have a lot to learn.
-------------
Another Way
Many people who have seen The Story of Stuff have asked what they can do to address the problems identified in the film.
Each of us can promote sustainability and justice at multiple levels: as an individual, as a teacher or parent, a community member, a national citizen, and as a global citizen. As Annie says in the film, “the good thing about such an all pervasive problem is that there are so many points of intervention.” That means that there are lots and lots of places to plug in, to get involved, and to make a difference. There is no single simple thing to do, because the set of problems we’re addressing just isn’t simple. But everyone can make a difference, but the bigger your action the bigger the difference you’ll make. Here are some ideas:
10 Little and Big Things You Can Do
Power down! A great deal of the resources we use and the waste we create is in the energy we consume. Look for opportunities in your life to significantly reduce energy use: drive less, fly less, turn off lights, buy local seasonal food (food takes energy to grow, package, store and transport), wear a sweater instead of turning up the heat, use a clothesline instead of a dryer, vacation closer to home, buy used or borrow things before buying new, recycle. All these things save energy and save you money. And, if you can switch to alternative energy by supporting a company that sells green energy to the grid or by installing solar panels on your home, bravo!
Waste less. Per capita waste production in the U.S. just keeps growing. There are hundreds of opportunities each day to nurture a Zero Waste culture in your home, school, workplace, church, community. This takes developing new habits which soon become second nature. Use both sides of the paper, carry your own mugs and shopping bags, get printer cartridges refilled instead of replaced, compost food scraps, avoid bottled water and other over packaged products, upgrade computers rather than buying new ones, repair and mend rather than replace….the list is endless! The more we visibly engage in re-use over wasting, the more we cultivate a new cultural norm, or actually, reclaim an old one!
Talk to everyone about these issues. At school, your neighbors, in line at the supermarket, on the bus…A student once asked Cesar Chavez how he organized. He said, “First, I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” “No,” said the student, “how do you organize?” Chavez answered, “First I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” You get the point. Talking about these issues raises awareness, builds community and can inspire others to action.
Make Your Voice Heard. Write letters to the editor and submit articles to local press. In the last two years, and especially with Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the media has been forced to write about Climate Change. As individuals, we can influence the media to better represent other important issues as well. Letters to the editor are a great way to help newspaper readers make connections they might not make without your help. Also local papers are often willing to print book and film reviews, interviews and articles by community members. Let’s get the issues we care about in the news.
DeTox your body, DeTox your home, and DeTox the Economy. Many of today’s consumer products – from children’s pajamas to lipstick – contain toxic chemical additives that simply aren’t necessary. Research online (for example, http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/) before you buy to be sure you’re not inadvertently introducing toxics into your home and body. Then tell your friends about toxics in consumer products. Together, ask the businesses why they’re using toxic chemicals without any warning labels. And ask your elected officials why they are permitting this practice. The European Union has adopted strong policies that require toxics to be removed from many products. So, while our electronic gadgets and cosmetics have toxics in them, people in Europe can buy the same things toxics-free. Let’s demand the same thing here. Getting the toxics out of production at the source is the best way to ensure they don’t get into any home and body.
Unplug (the TV and internet) and Plug In (the community). The average person in the U.S. watches T.V. over 4 hours a day. Four hours per day filled with messages about stuff we should buy. That is four hours a day that could be spent with family, friends and in our community. On-line activism is a good start, but spending time in face-to-face civic or community activities strengthens the community and many studies show that a stronger community is a source of social and logistical support, greater security and happiness. A strong community is also critical to having a strong, active democracy.
Park your car and walk…and when necessary MARCH! Car-centric land use policies and life styles lead to more greenhouse gas emissions, fossil fuel extraction, conversion of agricultural and wildlands to roads and parking lots. Driving less and walking more is good for the climate, the planet, your health, and your wallet. But sometimes we don’t have an option to leave the car home because of inadequate bike lanes or public transportation options. Then, we may need to march, to join with others to demand sustainable transportation options. Throughout U.S. history, peaceful non-violent marches have played a powerful role in raising awareness about issues, mobilizing people, and sending messages to decision makers.
Change your lightbulbs…and then, change your paradigm. Changing lightbulbs is quick and easy. Energy efficient lightbulbs use 75% less energy and last 10 times longer than conventional ones. That’s a no-brainer. But changing lightbulbs is just tinkering at the margins of a fundamentally flawed system unless we also change our paradigm. A paradigm is a collection of assumptions, concepts, beliefs and values that together make up a community’s way of viewing reality. Our current paradigm dictates that more stuff is better, that infinite economic growth is desirable and possible, and that pollution is the price of progress. To really turn things around, we need to nurture a different paradigm based on the values of sustainability, justice, health, and community.
Recycle your trash…and, recycle your elected officials. Recycling saves energy and reduces both waste and the pressure to harvest and mine new stuff. Unfortunately, many cities still don’t have adequate recycling systems in place. In that case you can usually find some recycling options in the phone book to start recycling while you’re pressuring your local government to support recycling city-wide. Also, many products – for example, most electronics - are designed not to be recycled or contain toxics so recycling is hazardous. In these cases, we need to lobby government to prohibit toxics in consumer products and to enact Extended Producer Responsibility (EPR) laws, as is happening in Europe. EPR is a policy which holds producers responsible for the entire lifecycle of their products, so that electronics company who use toxics in their products, have to take them back. That is a great incentive for them to get the toxics out!
Buy Green, Buy Fair, Buy Local, Buy Used, and most importantly, Buy Less. Shopping is not the solution to the environmental problems we currently face because the real changes we need just aren’t for sale in even the greenest shop. But, when we do shop, we should ensure our dollars support businesses that protect the environment and worker rights. Look beyond vague claims on packages like “all natural” to find hard facts. Is it organic? Is it free of super-toxic PVC plastic? When you can, buy local products from local stores, which keeps more of our hard earned money in the community. Buying used items keeps them out of the trash and avoids the upstream waste created during extraction and production. But, buying less may be the best option of all. Less pollution. Less Waste. Less time working to pay for the stuff. Sometimes, less really is more.
Take a look at:
http://www.storyofstuff.com/
And then poke around the website for more info.
For me, the most thought provoking part of the video was actually something not contained in the video itself, but on the website. I knew and agreed with the general philosophies being presented in the video, so it wasn't new to me (though the approach is inventive and fresh), but the list of things that I personally can do to change the cycle is of particular interest. That's what I'm copying and pasting below...take a look.
By the way, I'm doing many of these things. We recycle (even with a worm bin for kitchen scraps). We eat primarily organic. We don't use pesticides in our yard. We only have one car. We use energy efficient lightbulbs.
But there is a long, long way to go. I have a lot to learn.
-------------
Another Way
Many people who have seen The Story of Stuff have asked what they can do to address the problems identified in the film.
Each of us can promote sustainability and justice at multiple levels: as an individual, as a teacher or parent, a community member, a national citizen, and as a global citizen. As Annie says in the film, “the good thing about such an all pervasive problem is that there are so many points of intervention.” That means that there are lots and lots of places to plug in, to get involved, and to make a difference. There is no single simple thing to do, because the set of problems we’re addressing just isn’t simple. But everyone can make a difference, but the bigger your action the bigger the difference you’ll make. Here are some ideas:
10 Little and Big Things You Can Do
Power down! A great deal of the resources we use and the waste we create is in the energy we consume. Look for opportunities in your life to significantly reduce energy use: drive less, fly less, turn off lights, buy local seasonal food (food takes energy to grow, package, store and transport), wear a sweater instead of turning up the heat, use a clothesline instead of a dryer, vacation closer to home, buy used or borrow things before buying new, recycle. All these things save energy and save you money. And, if you can switch to alternative energy by supporting a company that sells green energy to the grid or by installing solar panels on your home, bravo!
Waste less. Per capita waste production in the U.S. just keeps growing. There are hundreds of opportunities each day to nurture a Zero Waste culture in your home, school, workplace, church, community. This takes developing new habits which soon become second nature. Use both sides of the paper, carry your own mugs and shopping bags, get printer cartridges refilled instead of replaced, compost food scraps, avoid bottled water and other over packaged products, upgrade computers rather than buying new ones, repair and mend rather than replace….the list is endless! The more we visibly engage in re-use over wasting, the more we cultivate a new cultural norm, or actually, reclaim an old one!
Talk to everyone about these issues. At school, your neighbors, in line at the supermarket, on the bus…A student once asked Cesar Chavez how he organized. He said, “First, I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” “No,” said the student, “how do you organize?” Chavez answered, “First I talk to one person. Then I talk to another person.” You get the point. Talking about these issues raises awareness, builds community and can inspire others to action.
Make Your Voice Heard. Write letters to the editor and submit articles to local press. In the last two years, and especially with Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the media has been forced to write about Climate Change. As individuals, we can influence the media to better represent other important issues as well. Letters to the editor are a great way to help newspaper readers make connections they might not make without your help. Also local papers are often willing to print book and film reviews, interviews and articles by community members. Let’s get the issues we care about in the news.
DeTox your body, DeTox your home, and DeTox the Economy. Many of today’s consumer products – from children’s pajamas to lipstick – contain toxic chemical additives that simply aren’t necessary. Research online (for example, http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/) before you buy to be sure you’re not inadvertently introducing toxics into your home and body. Then tell your friends about toxics in consumer products. Together, ask the businesses why they’re using toxic chemicals without any warning labels. And ask your elected officials why they are permitting this practice. The European Union has adopted strong policies that require toxics to be removed from many products. So, while our electronic gadgets and cosmetics have toxics in them, people in Europe can buy the same things toxics-free. Let’s demand the same thing here. Getting the toxics out of production at the source is the best way to ensure they don’t get into any home and body.
Unplug (the TV and internet) and Plug In (the community). The average person in the U.S. watches T.V. over 4 hours a day. Four hours per day filled with messages about stuff we should buy. That is four hours a day that could be spent with family, friends and in our community. On-line activism is a good start, but spending time in face-to-face civic or community activities strengthens the community and many studies show that a stronger community is a source of social and logistical support, greater security and happiness. A strong community is also critical to having a strong, active democracy.
Park your car and walk…and when necessary MARCH! Car-centric land use policies and life styles lead to more greenhouse gas emissions, fossil fuel extraction, conversion of agricultural and wildlands to roads and parking lots. Driving less and walking more is good for the climate, the planet, your health, and your wallet. But sometimes we don’t have an option to leave the car home because of inadequate bike lanes or public transportation options. Then, we may need to march, to join with others to demand sustainable transportation options. Throughout U.S. history, peaceful non-violent marches have played a powerful role in raising awareness about issues, mobilizing people, and sending messages to decision makers.
Change your lightbulbs…and then, change your paradigm. Changing lightbulbs is quick and easy. Energy efficient lightbulbs use 75% less energy and last 10 times longer than conventional ones. That’s a no-brainer. But changing lightbulbs is just tinkering at the margins of a fundamentally flawed system unless we also change our paradigm. A paradigm is a collection of assumptions, concepts, beliefs and values that together make up a community’s way of viewing reality. Our current paradigm dictates that more stuff is better, that infinite economic growth is desirable and possible, and that pollution is the price of progress. To really turn things around, we need to nurture a different paradigm based on the values of sustainability, justice, health, and community.
Recycle your trash…and, recycle your elected officials. Recycling saves energy and reduces both waste and the pressure to harvest and mine new stuff. Unfortunately, many cities still don’t have adequate recycling systems in place. In that case you can usually find some recycling options in the phone book to start recycling while you’re pressuring your local government to support recycling city-wide. Also, many products – for example, most electronics - are designed not to be recycled or contain toxics so recycling is hazardous. In these cases, we need to lobby government to prohibit toxics in consumer products and to enact Extended Producer Responsibility (EPR) laws, as is happening in Europe. EPR is a policy which holds producers responsible for the entire lifecycle of their products, so that electronics company who use toxics in their products, have to take them back. That is a great incentive for them to get the toxics out!
Buy Green, Buy Fair, Buy Local, Buy Used, and most importantly, Buy Less. Shopping is not the solution to the environmental problems we currently face because the real changes we need just aren’t for sale in even the greenest shop. But, when we do shop, we should ensure our dollars support businesses that protect the environment and worker rights. Look beyond vague claims on packages like “all natural” to find hard facts. Is it organic? Is it free of super-toxic PVC plastic? When you can, buy local products from local stores, which keeps more of our hard earned money in the community. Buying used items keeps them out of the trash and avoids the upstream waste created during extraction and production. But, buying less may be the best option of all. Less pollution. Less Waste. Less time working to pay for the stuff. Sometimes, less really is more.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
thinking
I am spending more than a usual amount of time thinking these days.
I feel a need to be quieter than usual. I still love my friends and family, of course, but I just need to do some good thinking.
I'm thinking about life changes. Small things related to food, spending, the house; bigger things like how I spend my time (my most precious resource). All of it is really about thinking through my values.
I believe that one of the reasons I've been out of synch is that I'm out of synch with my own values. I forget what is important to me, and things spiral downhill. Interesting idea, anyway.
But this recent spiral was part me and part medication. I am very grateful to have a basic understanding of what is normal and what is not so that even though my mind was going nuts and my emotions were running out of control, a part of me remained sane enough to know "this isn't right" and "seek help!" A call to the therapist, an adjustment in meds, has been helpful. It's a week I don't particularly want to relive, I promise you that.
Trying to get back to a more even keel.
And now, back to my book. Kingsolver is very interesting to me; her older work (short stories, fiction) was interesting but not earth shattering. "The Poisonwood Bible" was an incredible work, in my opinion, a truly fine book. Her autobiographical, scientific exploration and cultural study of food in her most recent book is fascinating.
The other reading I'm doing right now (besides Mary Oliver, The Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hahn, and Pema Chodron, in addition to The Daily Word and Shambahla Sun magazines) is "Little House in the Big Woods," which is the Laura Ingalls Wilder book (the first of the series). My Aunt Ann & Uncle Bill gave it to me one year when I was little, and I still remember how much I loved it. My mom and dad gave Tessa the series for her birthday, and we have begun reading it (and discussing the idea of life without electricity, girls in long dresses, butchering one's own meat, growing one's own food, living far from a town or neighbors....) together. It brings back great childhood memories for me, and it also creates interesting discussion with Tessa and I.
What is most interesting, perhaps, is the intersection of "Animal, Mineral, Vegetable" and "Little House in the Big Woods." They are not, perhaps, so different, despite the different centuries/millenia in which they were written. They are both food focused. They are both about finding happiness with family. They are both about the natural growth cycles of nature, the weather, crops, families. Laura Ingalls Wilder grew up in synch with the world around her; she ate what was in season. Kingsolver is attempting to do the same.
I've been thinking about applying this to my own life. Could I really do it? Would I want to? It seems easy to give up fresh strawberries in winter (frankly, they don't taste that good anyway....a fresh strawberry off the vine in the summer and a wintertime Costco strawberry taste like they're from different planets, let alone different seasons) but could I give up fresh mango?
I believe in the slow food movement. I believe in the local food movement. I believe in organic food. I believe that it is ridiculous that as a planet we manufacture far more food than we can consume, and yet millions of people starve. Chemicals are not food, and people in Seattle aren't meant to eat fresh pineapple....and so the cost is real (fuel, pesticides, etc).
But what am I to do about it? Hmmm.
I am thinking of starting a very small, unambitious vegetable garden this summer.
I also read in the "Little House" book that winter squash and onions were stored in the attic for the winter. We have an attic which is unheated but accessable; maybe we could do this. Could I figure out a kind of "root cellar" to store fresh food? In this way, could I buy from the farmer's market (I said I would plant a "very small" garden, not enough to feed my family for a winter!) and then eat it all winter?
Would my family agree to this? Would they think that it was insane to give up cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers for the winter?
Would I actually consider canning? Canned tomatoes taste excellent; I've never developed a taste for canned fruit. But I did make jam last eyar; maybe we could do more this year?
I'm not giving up coffee. I'm NOT. Don't ask. It's too much. Hey, I had cancer. Gimme a break. A girl needs her coffee. (Not wants. Needs.)
I'm looking at my carbon footprint. I'm looking at the way that I pollute the earth, and my own body. I'm looking at my values.
I've considered only buying used items for a year, except perishables and things like TP, soap, etc. I have "enough", I'm sure (closets full of things, cupboards bursting....), but could I do it?
I want to figure out my place in the world. I want to be able to sleep at night knowing that I am giving the best of myself to myself, to my family, to the world.
I can't even remember to bring my commuter mug to the coffee shop so I don't use a paper cup. Can I really make these big decisions and live by them?
No promises. Just ideas.
But I am certain that my depression is in part because I am out of synch. I need to look at the big stuff. This is only a little piece of it, a tiny corner of my mind.
And now, really, off to read. I hope to sleep well so that Tessa and I can visit my mom tomorrow and enjoy the day with her. Ryan comes home tomorrow night, too.
That's all.
I feel a need to be quieter than usual. I still love my friends and family, of course, but I just need to do some good thinking.
I'm thinking about life changes. Small things related to food, spending, the house; bigger things like how I spend my time (my most precious resource). All of it is really about thinking through my values.
I believe that one of the reasons I've been out of synch is that I'm out of synch with my own values. I forget what is important to me, and things spiral downhill. Interesting idea, anyway.
But this recent spiral was part me and part medication. I am very grateful to have a basic understanding of what is normal and what is not so that even though my mind was going nuts and my emotions were running out of control, a part of me remained sane enough to know "this isn't right" and "seek help!" A call to the therapist, an adjustment in meds, has been helpful. It's a week I don't particularly want to relive, I promise you that.
Trying to get back to a more even keel.
And now, back to my book. Kingsolver is very interesting to me; her older work (short stories, fiction) was interesting but not earth shattering. "The Poisonwood Bible" was an incredible work, in my opinion, a truly fine book. Her autobiographical, scientific exploration and cultural study of food in her most recent book is fascinating.
The other reading I'm doing right now (besides Mary Oliver, The Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hahn, and Pema Chodron, in addition to The Daily Word and Shambahla Sun magazines) is "Little House in the Big Woods," which is the Laura Ingalls Wilder book (the first of the series). My Aunt Ann & Uncle Bill gave it to me one year when I was little, and I still remember how much I loved it. My mom and dad gave Tessa the series for her birthday, and we have begun reading it (and discussing the idea of life without electricity, girls in long dresses, butchering one's own meat, growing one's own food, living far from a town or neighbors....) together. It brings back great childhood memories for me, and it also creates interesting discussion with Tessa and I.
What is most interesting, perhaps, is the intersection of "Animal, Mineral, Vegetable" and "Little House in the Big Woods." They are not, perhaps, so different, despite the different centuries/millenia in which they were written. They are both food focused. They are both about finding happiness with family. They are both about the natural growth cycles of nature, the weather, crops, families. Laura Ingalls Wilder grew up in synch with the world around her; she ate what was in season. Kingsolver is attempting to do the same.
I've been thinking about applying this to my own life. Could I really do it? Would I want to? It seems easy to give up fresh strawberries in winter (frankly, they don't taste that good anyway....a fresh strawberry off the vine in the summer and a wintertime Costco strawberry taste like they're from different planets, let alone different seasons) but could I give up fresh mango?
I believe in the slow food movement. I believe in the local food movement. I believe in organic food. I believe that it is ridiculous that as a planet we manufacture far more food than we can consume, and yet millions of people starve. Chemicals are not food, and people in Seattle aren't meant to eat fresh pineapple....and so the cost is real (fuel, pesticides, etc).
But what am I to do about it? Hmmm.
I am thinking of starting a very small, unambitious vegetable garden this summer.
I also read in the "Little House" book that winter squash and onions were stored in the attic for the winter. We have an attic which is unheated but accessable; maybe we could do this. Could I figure out a kind of "root cellar" to store fresh food? In this way, could I buy from the farmer's market (I said I would plant a "very small" garden, not enough to feed my family for a winter!) and then eat it all winter?
Would my family agree to this? Would they think that it was insane to give up cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers for the winter?
Would I actually consider canning? Canned tomatoes taste excellent; I've never developed a taste for canned fruit. But I did make jam last eyar; maybe we could do more this year?
I'm not giving up coffee. I'm NOT. Don't ask. It's too much. Hey, I had cancer. Gimme a break. A girl needs her coffee. (Not wants. Needs.)
I'm looking at my carbon footprint. I'm looking at the way that I pollute the earth, and my own body. I'm looking at my values.
I've considered only buying used items for a year, except perishables and things like TP, soap, etc. I have "enough", I'm sure (closets full of things, cupboards bursting....), but could I do it?
I want to figure out my place in the world. I want to be able to sleep at night knowing that I am giving the best of myself to myself, to my family, to the world.
I can't even remember to bring my commuter mug to the coffee shop so I don't use a paper cup. Can I really make these big decisions and live by them?
No promises. Just ideas.
But I am certain that my depression is in part because I am out of synch. I need to look at the big stuff. This is only a little piece of it, a tiny corner of my mind.
And now, really, off to read. I hope to sleep well so that Tessa and I can visit my mom tomorrow and enjoy the day with her. Ryan comes home tomorrow night, too.
That's all.
improving
Tessa slept well, and woke up happy. She's playing with Anna, which is her idea of nirvana, and the girls are excited just to be together.
I barely slept at all - at 2am I actually turned the light on and read my book ("Animal, Vegetable, Mineral" by Barbara Kingsolver) for an hour or more before sleeping restlessly. Ugh - I'm tired, and not sure how to fix that dilemma.
However, I'm not sick, and nor is Tessa, and this is a major improvement.
And I'm re-entering life. Time to return phone calls, to cook, to write thank you cards, to walk the dog....
I barely slept at all - at 2am I actually turned the light on and read my book ("Animal, Vegetable, Mineral" by Barbara Kingsolver) for an hour or more before sleeping restlessly. Ugh - I'm tired, and not sure how to fix that dilemma.
However, I'm not sick, and nor is Tessa, and this is a major improvement.
And I'm re-entering life. Time to return phone calls, to cook, to write thank you cards, to walk the dog....
Monday, February 11, 2008
looking up
Okay, my nausea has subsided, and Tessa's mood is excellent. I've just tucked her into bed, and she appears full of energy this evening. She ate regularly (thank you so much, Michele, for the delicious posole), and she's ready for preschool tomorrow.
I hope to sleep well - alone, no child! - tonight and wake up feeling refreshed...
I hope to sleep well - alone, no child! - tonight and wake up feeling refreshed...
uh oh
Nausea.
Please let this be psychosomatic. (Did I spell that right?) The rest of my head is messed up, so maybe this, too?
Tessa appears to be feeling well....
Fingers crossed.
Please let this be psychosomatic. (Did I spell that right?) The rest of my head is messed up, so maybe this, too?
Tessa appears to be feeling well....
Fingers crossed.
The corner?
Tessa may have turned a corner.
She's ravenous - I made her a cheese sandwich and mac and cheese for lunch at her request - and she hasn't had any further nausea or pain since this morning. She hasn't eaten her giant lunch (just a 1/4 sandwich and a few bites of pasta) but this is still a big improvement. She's back to tormenting the cat (the cat may have been wishing that she was feeling less well), she's had a bath and washed her hair, and she's asking for playdates ("NO!").
The real test will be at about 2pm when the Motrin wears off...
She's ravenous - I made her a cheese sandwich and mac and cheese for lunch at her request - and she hasn't had any further nausea or pain since this morning. She hasn't eaten her giant lunch (just a 1/4 sandwich and a few bites of pasta) but this is still a big improvement. She's back to tormenting the cat (the cat may have been wishing that she was feeling less well), she's had a bath and washed her hair, and she's asking for playdates ("NO!").
The real test will be at about 2pm when the Motrin wears off...
Embarrassed
My phone has been ringing off the hook for a week.
And I haven't answered it.
My mood has been bleak, irrational, grumpy, short-tempered, frightened...and embarassed by all of these things.
It's not "normal" to feel this way. It's not nice of me to hide away from people who care about me.
Please understand, I'm trying to work through it. I can't explain it, myself. I'm trying to figure out my own head.
And I haven't answered it.
My mood has been bleak, irrational, grumpy, short-tempered, frightened...and embarassed by all of these things.
It's not "normal" to feel this way. It's not nice of me to hide away from people who care about me.
Please understand, I'm trying to work through it. I can't explain it, myself. I'm trying to figure out my own head.
Monday
It was a long night...Tessa is having trouble sleeping these days, so she climbed into my bed and tossed and turned with me. Right on schedule, at midnight, her children's Motrin wore off, her fever climbed, and she felt awful. I think I actually slept between about 4am and 7am but the rest of the night was long.
Some of the restlessness was mine, not Tessa's. I've been having sleeping issues for months (years? I've lost track....but it's a post-diagnosis thing) and had resorted to taking Ambien CR at night, but of course I don't want to do that when I'm caring for Tessa; I need a clear head for her, and the other night she was up and crying and Ryan cared for her and I didn't even notice because the Ambien kept me sleeping. I didn't want to risk that with Ryan out of town. Anyway, I lay in bed tossing and turning myself. (The only good news? I read "The Constant Princess" in its entirety; it's one of the Phillapa Gregory series about the women of the court of King Henry VIII. Not as good as "The Other Boleyn Girl" but a good distraction anyway.)
But this morning, Tessa is playing ponies, singing to herself, and seemingly content. Her sweet voice is music to my ears; she appears to be feeling much better at this moment. She did have another Motrin this morning (she was hot, then cold, and she said her bones ached) but either it's working or she is starting to feel better.
On a totally different note...
A few days ago I watched Oprah (rather unusual for me) and it had an anti-clutter guy who has just published a book called "Does this clutter make my butt look fat?" Despite the silly title, I liked his premise: we clutter in lots of ways, and head, heart, home, and hips are all connected. Sometimes we walk in to a home with clutter, and our heads feel overwhelmed, we get sad, and we eat to avoid. It's pretty simple, but logical to me.
Anyway, it inspired me to do some decluttering in our home. It has been therapeutic; I don't feel like talking, I don't feel like thinking, and I don't know what TO do when I'm not caring for Tessa, so I started decluttering. The office was the first line of attack, as it's the worst part of our house, and it had gotten to the point where it wasn't functional. It's an ugly room (no carpet because of the flood, mismatched stuff, in need of paint, used to be a kitchen for the MIL suite, and the clutter-collector of our house), but it didn't need to be that ugly. I still haven't done the filing, but it's a billion times better.
I decluttered the top of the fridge. I decluttered my closet. I decluttered my dresser. I even decluttered some toys in the playroom (Tessa hasn't noticed yet; I think that this is a sign that she didn't care about those toys).
I want to get rid of some stuff. The theory is that too much stuff weighs one down. The declutter guy (Peter? I can't remember) said that clutter falls into two categories: "I might need it one day" and "memorabilia." In looking around our house, I think I'm relatively good with the memorabilia (I'm comfortable with it, in any case) but the "might need it" category is ridiculous.
Case in point: an old ski jacket. I got it when we lived in Bellingham, and it wasn't perfect when I got it. The style is outdated (duh), it's not best quality, and it's a size large. And yet....I kept holding on to it, thinking, well, I might need it some day, or we'll have a guest who needs it. Obviously that's ridiculous: I don't think I'd worn it in 8 years. It's clutter. It's in perfect shape, barely worn, but it's not useful. (It's gone now.)
There's also the consumerism component of all of this. The clutter buys into the "more is better" philosophy of Americans, and I'm (pardon the pun) not buying it.
My friend Jenny lived in Scotland for a time (hi Jenny) and has shared some of the European ideas about stuff (things) with me, and I have spent some time thinking about them. She said that having shabby, hand-me-down things in Scotland was a sign of class and sometimes of wealth. The thing is, the shabby things belonged to the upper class.
This bears some thinking.
I like it.
Hand me down things, of quality, speak of heritage. It speaks of understanding value. It's anti-consumerist. Things made to last; things meant to be handed down; things meant to stand the test of time...these are signs of wealth. Not the newest thing. Not the latest color.
My living room is like this; Grandpa Goddard's beautiful bookcase (our wedding gift); G.G.'s piano; Aunt Grace's dining room table and chair's; Mom & Dad S.'s sideboard.
My family room, downstairs, is old, but not quality....it's more garage-sale than anything else. I don't think that the philosophy is about having ugly things, it's about recognizing that quality things transcend trends and don't need replacing all the time. My family room needs work (although it's perfect for little kids jumping around, and it IS comfortable) and that's okay; my philosophy isn't to just take whatever, it's to recognize "enough".
So, in part of my pro-environment, pro-pocketbook, pro-spiritual quest, I'm trying to remember all of this. I'm trying to remember that the clutter IS making my butt look fat (ha), and that we have enough. That I do not need to collect bits of this and that just in case. That, like writing, the editing is more important than just about anything else. (Not that there is any editing here, but that's another problem to tackle another day.)
These are random thoughts, distracting me from the problems of the day. Today I'll tackle a new corner of clutter (there are always more) while Tessa rests.
Some of the restlessness was mine, not Tessa's. I've been having sleeping issues for months (years? I've lost track....but it's a post-diagnosis thing) and had resorted to taking Ambien CR at night, but of course I don't want to do that when I'm caring for Tessa; I need a clear head for her, and the other night she was up and crying and Ryan cared for her and I didn't even notice because the Ambien kept me sleeping. I didn't want to risk that with Ryan out of town. Anyway, I lay in bed tossing and turning myself. (The only good news? I read "The Constant Princess" in its entirety; it's one of the Phillapa Gregory series about the women of the court of King Henry VIII. Not as good as "The Other Boleyn Girl" but a good distraction anyway.)
But this morning, Tessa is playing ponies, singing to herself, and seemingly content. Her sweet voice is music to my ears; she appears to be feeling much better at this moment. She did have another Motrin this morning (she was hot, then cold, and she said her bones ached) but either it's working or she is starting to feel better.
On a totally different note...
A few days ago I watched Oprah (rather unusual for me) and it had an anti-clutter guy who has just published a book called "Does this clutter make my butt look fat?" Despite the silly title, I liked his premise: we clutter in lots of ways, and head, heart, home, and hips are all connected. Sometimes we walk in to a home with clutter, and our heads feel overwhelmed, we get sad, and we eat to avoid. It's pretty simple, but logical to me.
Anyway, it inspired me to do some decluttering in our home. It has been therapeutic; I don't feel like talking, I don't feel like thinking, and I don't know what TO do when I'm not caring for Tessa, so I started decluttering. The office was the first line of attack, as it's the worst part of our house, and it had gotten to the point where it wasn't functional. It's an ugly room (no carpet because of the flood, mismatched stuff, in need of paint, used to be a kitchen for the MIL suite, and the clutter-collector of our house), but it didn't need to be that ugly. I still haven't done the filing, but it's a billion times better.
I decluttered the top of the fridge. I decluttered my closet. I decluttered my dresser. I even decluttered some toys in the playroom (Tessa hasn't noticed yet; I think that this is a sign that she didn't care about those toys).
I want to get rid of some stuff. The theory is that too much stuff weighs one down. The declutter guy (Peter? I can't remember) said that clutter falls into two categories: "I might need it one day" and "memorabilia." In looking around our house, I think I'm relatively good with the memorabilia (I'm comfortable with it, in any case) but the "might need it" category is ridiculous.
Case in point: an old ski jacket. I got it when we lived in Bellingham, and it wasn't perfect when I got it. The style is outdated (duh), it's not best quality, and it's a size large. And yet....I kept holding on to it, thinking, well, I might need it some day, or we'll have a guest who needs it. Obviously that's ridiculous: I don't think I'd worn it in 8 years. It's clutter. It's in perfect shape, barely worn, but it's not useful. (It's gone now.)
There's also the consumerism component of all of this. The clutter buys into the "more is better" philosophy of Americans, and I'm (pardon the pun) not buying it.
My friend Jenny lived in Scotland for a time (hi Jenny) and has shared some of the European ideas about stuff (things) with me, and I have spent some time thinking about them. She said that having shabby, hand-me-down things in Scotland was a sign of class and sometimes of wealth. The thing is, the shabby things belonged to the upper class.
This bears some thinking.
I like it.
Hand me down things, of quality, speak of heritage. It speaks of understanding value. It's anti-consumerist. Things made to last; things meant to be handed down; things meant to stand the test of time...these are signs of wealth. Not the newest thing. Not the latest color.
My living room is like this; Grandpa Goddard's beautiful bookcase (our wedding gift); G.G.'s piano; Aunt Grace's dining room table and chair's; Mom & Dad S.'s sideboard.
My family room, downstairs, is old, but not quality....it's more garage-sale than anything else. I don't think that the philosophy is about having ugly things, it's about recognizing that quality things transcend trends and don't need replacing all the time. My family room needs work (although it's perfect for little kids jumping around, and it IS comfortable) and that's okay; my philosophy isn't to just take whatever, it's to recognize "enough".
So, in part of my pro-environment, pro-pocketbook, pro-spiritual quest, I'm trying to remember all of this. I'm trying to remember that the clutter IS making my butt look fat (ha), and that we have enough. That I do not need to collect bits of this and that just in case. That, like writing, the editing is more important than just about anything else. (Not that there is any editing here, but that's another problem to tackle another day.)
These are random thoughts, distracting me from the problems of the day. Today I'll tackle a new corner of clutter (there are always more) while Tessa rests.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sunday update
It's been a quiet day. The good part of the quiet involved snuggling with Tessa, reading stories, and playing Play-Doh. The not-so-great part involved Tessa throwing up some more, fever, chills, lethargy.
Fortunately, I'm not nauseaus, and my headache has stayed at a dull roar.
Ryan called, safe on the east coast. He's had a long day, too, but I think this time I'd be happy to trade places.
It looks like we're going to have another quiet day tomorrow. I'd be hapyp if that form of quiet didn't involve any vomit. (Please.)
Fortunately, I'm not nauseaus, and my headache has stayed at a dull roar.
Ryan called, safe on the east coast. He's had a long day, too, but I think this time I'd be happy to trade places.
It looks like we're going to have another quiet day tomorrow. I'd be hapyp if that form of quiet didn't involve any vomit. (Please.)
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Triple sick
1. Detergent allergy.
...morphed into...
2. Upper respiratory bug (minor cold with post-nasal drip, sniffles, irritated throat with small cough)
...and now added...
3. Bug with throwing up and fever.
This morning Tessa was at 100.6. We gave her Motrin and her fever seemed to come down and her energy came up. We showed up for our 2:50 doctor's appt and Tessa christened the bushes (yuck) outside the lobby...thank goodness we made it back outside. In the doctor's office, her fever was 101.8 or something like that.
Apparently the vomiting lasts about a day in most kids; the fever lasts about 3 days. The vomiting is usually followed by diarrhea for a couple of days.
This is not improving my mood, needless to say. Fortunately, my mama instincts are strong, and I can put aside my own grumpiness for the sake of my daughter.
Ryan leaves at 6am tomorrow for the airport, returning late Wednesday night. (Business trip.)
Let's hope I don't get this. Let's hope Ryan doesn't get it on his trip. Let's hope I don't totally lose my mind dealing with it.
And our apologies to Anna, Kelton & Camille. According to the doc, Tessa was probably contagious starting yesterday, and Beth & Heather took care of Tessa at various times yesterday.
Please wish me luck with all of this...
...morphed into...
2. Upper respiratory bug (minor cold with post-nasal drip, sniffles, irritated throat with small cough)
...and now added...
3. Bug with throwing up and fever.
This morning Tessa was at 100.6. We gave her Motrin and her fever seemed to come down and her energy came up. We showed up for our 2:50 doctor's appt and Tessa christened the bushes (yuck) outside the lobby...thank goodness we made it back outside. In the doctor's office, her fever was 101.8 or something like that.
Apparently the vomiting lasts about a day in most kids; the fever lasts about 3 days. The vomiting is usually followed by diarrhea for a couple of days.
This is not improving my mood, needless to say. Fortunately, my mama instincts are strong, and I can put aside my own grumpiness for the sake of my daughter.
Ryan leaves at 6am tomorrow for the airport, returning late Wednesday night. (Business trip.)
Let's hope I don't get this. Let's hope Ryan doesn't get it on his trip. Let's hope I don't totally lose my mind dealing with it.
And our apologies to Anna, Kelton & Camille. According to the doc, Tessa was probably contagious starting yesterday, and Beth & Heather took care of Tessa at various times yesterday.
Please wish me luck with all of this...
Health updates
I'm still plodding along. I'm doing all of the "right" things to get my head in shape, and I'm paying close attention to my symptoms etc. I'll get through it.
Tessa has developed an illness. This morning she awoke with a fever (100.6, but I'm more concerned about symptoms for a week leading up to this). We have a doctor's appointment at 2:40 today at the children's clinic in West Seattle.
My mom is hanging in there, and discovering how tedious and difficult bedrest can be.
Ryan leaves for a business trip tomorrow, returning late Wednesday.
We will miss Nina's birthday party today. Happy birthday, Nina.
Tessa has developed an illness. This morning she awoke with a fever (100.6, but I'm more concerned about symptoms for a week leading up to this). We have a doctor's appointment at 2:40 today at the children's clinic in West Seattle.
My mom is hanging in there, and discovering how tedious and difficult bedrest can be.
Ryan leaves for a business trip tomorrow, returning late Wednesday.
We will miss Nina's birthday party today. Happy birthday, Nina.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Another day
I am slogging through it. I will get through it, but the path doesn't seem very clear. Ugh!
I took the old (smaller) dosage of Lexapro last night. The therapist pointed to some studies that show higher doses cause racing thoughts, etc. in some patients, particularly younger patients (teenagers). I'm no teenager but there is a correlation to my increased dosage and my crazy thoughts.
I just want to get past this. I want to be my usual, happy self. NOW. I don't even know myself when I feel like this.
I took the old (smaller) dosage of Lexapro last night. The therapist pointed to some studies that show higher doses cause racing thoughts, etc. in some patients, particularly younger patients (teenagers). I'm no teenager but there is a correlation to my increased dosage and my crazy thoughts.
I just want to get past this. I want to be my usual, happy self. NOW. I don't even know myself when I feel like this.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Meds gone wrong
For some people, anti-depressants have an opposite effect.
I spoke on the phone to my therapist, and she fears that this may be happening to me. I'm cutting my dosage in half to see if this helps. Counterintuitive, perhaps, but I'm game for almost anything.
I spoke on the phone to my therapist, and she fears that this may be happening to me. I'm cutting my dosage in half to see if this helps. Counterintuitive, perhaps, but I'm game for almost anything.
Thursday
My mood is bleak. If I snap at you, I apologize in advance. I'm trying to get in to my therapist to figure out what's going on: is it meds gone wrong, or I have I finally gone crazy?
My mom is coming home from the hospital today. Love you, Mom.
My mom is coming home from the hospital today. Love you, Mom.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Arghhh
I feel depression sweeping over me.
WHAT IS WITH THAT?
It's scary. It's strange. I can intellectualize it, but I can not seem to overcome it.
I doubled my Lexapro dosage last week, and I'm hoping it helps. But I don't like this one bit.
WHAT IS WITH THAT?
It's scary. It's strange. I can intellectualize it, but I can not seem to overcome it.
I doubled my Lexapro dosage last week, and I'm hoping it helps. But I don't like this one bit.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Mom's okay!
We spent the evening with my parents. We were able to see my mom as she was being wheeled out of recovery, and we spent a couple of hours with her.
My mom looks fabulous. It was hard to believe that she had just been on an operating room table for a couple of hours! We had a nice chat. :-)
I love you, Mom. I'm there for you - see you tomorrow!
My mom looks fabulous. It was hard to believe that she had just been on an operating room table for a couple of hours! We had a nice chat. :-)
I love you, Mom. I'm there for you - see you tomorrow!
New Culprit: Laundry Detergent
News update on Tessa's "dust allergy."
The stuffed animals were NOT the culprit!
At gymnastics today, as I got Tessa into her outfit, I noticed red bumps on her belly, and realized that she had hives. She said that they itched, and I couldn't figure it out...
Until I realized. The other change was laundry detergent! We switched brands (temporarily, I promise!) and Tessa is having a reaction.
Last night, Tessa was wearing some warm, fleecy PJs, and in the middle of the night Ryan switched her into some lighter cotton ones because she was pulling at her PJs and Ryan thought she might be hot. After that, Tessa slept much better. The cotton PJs hadn't been washed in the new detergent, but the others had.
When I thought that the problem was dust, I washed Tessa's favorite stuffed animals...in the new detergent. After gymnastics, I handed her a (slightly damp) Bear so that she could possibly start sleeping in the car. Her reaction? Instant coughing and a sneeze or two.
I have no doubt that it's the detergent. It's amazing to me that it can cause such a reaction!
Tonight we stopped at Trader Joe's to get new detergent. Our usual TJs detergent wasn't available....let's hope that the liquid version is the same chemical content as our usual powder, because I don't want to go through this again.
Needless to say, I'm sick of laundry. I've washed Tessa's sheets and stuffed animals twice today, and now need to go through her closet and re-wash things...
The stuffed animals were NOT the culprit!
At gymnastics today, as I got Tessa into her outfit, I noticed red bumps on her belly, and realized that she had hives. She said that they itched, and I couldn't figure it out...
Until I realized. The other change was laundry detergent! We switched brands (temporarily, I promise!) and Tessa is having a reaction.
Last night, Tessa was wearing some warm, fleecy PJs, and in the middle of the night Ryan switched her into some lighter cotton ones because she was pulling at her PJs and Ryan thought she might be hot. After that, Tessa slept much better. The cotton PJs hadn't been washed in the new detergent, but the others had.
When I thought that the problem was dust, I washed Tessa's favorite stuffed animals...in the new detergent. After gymnastics, I handed her a (slightly damp) Bear so that she could possibly start sleeping in the car. Her reaction? Instant coughing and a sneeze or two.
I have no doubt that it's the detergent. It's amazing to me that it can cause such a reaction!
Tonight we stopped at Trader Joe's to get new detergent. Our usual TJs detergent wasn't available....let's hope that the liquid version is the same chemical content as our usual powder, because I don't want to go through this again.
Needless to say, I'm sick of laundry. I've washed Tessa's sheets and stuffed animals twice today, and now need to go through her closet and re-wash things...
Prayers for Mom
In about an hour, my mom will be admitted to the hospital to have a knee replacement surgery. We will be praying that the surgery goes well, that her pain is manageable....and that this is the solution to resolve her knee problems and get her up and going in her "usual" self.
Mom, I love you. We are looking forward to supporting you. We are there for you!
My mother has waited for me to do countless surgeries (okay, 11 - 3 sinus ones in my teens and early twenties; 8 breast cancer related ones recently). She has prayed for me, stood by me, taken care of me. Now, it's my turn to care for her. I'm looking through cookbooks for perfect meals to bring, making cards with Tessa, and getting ready to mother my mother.
It is with gratitude in my heart that I do this. I am so lucky to have my mom, and to have her support. I'm glad to show her with my actions how I feel about her.
Please include my mom in your prayers, and throw in some prayers for my dad, too, as he's understandably concerned for his beloved wife.
Mom, I love you. We are looking forward to supporting you. We are there for you!
My mother has waited for me to do countless surgeries (okay, 11 - 3 sinus ones in my teens and early twenties; 8 breast cancer related ones recently). She has prayed for me, stood by me, taken care of me. Now, it's my turn to care for her. I'm looking through cookbooks for perfect meals to bring, making cards with Tessa, and getting ready to mother my mother.
It is with gratitude in my heart that I do this. I am so lucky to have my mom, and to have her support. I'm glad to show her with my actions how I feel about her.
Please include my mom in your prayers, and throw in some prayers for my dad, too, as he's understandably concerned for his beloved wife.
Ah HA!
Two nights ago, Tessa coughed through the night....a light, dry cough, but it lasted all night. We thought "uh oh" and canceled all activities....and she seemed fine all day yesterday, so we thought we'd over-reacted.
Last night, Tessa coughed more violently ALL night. She cried, tossed and turned, and we brought her into our bed to monitor her and comfort her. It was a rough night for the whole family, and I started to be very concerned about poor Tessa.
Then, this morning, she's her chipper self. (Four cups of coffee, and I'm still not fully awake, but that's another story.)
I called the nurses' line at the clinic, totally confused by this turn of events.
The nurse asked all the usual questions: Fever? No. Croup/barking cough? No. Pain? No, only in the throat from coughing.
Then, the new question: Anything new in her room? Any new possible dust source? Ummmm, no. Any new stuffed animals?
YES! We got a couple of hand-me-down darling stuffed animals from a friend who had outgrown them, and she loves them, and started sleeping with them. BINGO! That's it!
Phew. What a relief. All of said stuffed animals are being washed, along with Blanket and Bear, and all bedding. We hope for a quiet night tonight.
Last night, Tessa coughed more violently ALL night. She cried, tossed and turned, and we brought her into our bed to monitor her and comfort her. It was a rough night for the whole family, and I started to be very concerned about poor Tessa.
Then, this morning, she's her chipper self. (Four cups of coffee, and I'm still not fully awake, but that's another story.)
I called the nurses' line at the clinic, totally confused by this turn of events.
The nurse asked all the usual questions: Fever? No. Croup/barking cough? No. Pain? No, only in the throat from coughing.
Then, the new question: Anything new in her room? Any new possible dust source? Ummmm, no. Any new stuffed animals?
YES! We got a couple of hand-me-down darling stuffed animals from a friend who had outgrown them, and she loves them, and started sleeping with them. BINGO! That's it!
Phew. What a relief. All of said stuffed animals are being washed, along with Blanket and Bear, and all bedding. We hope for a quiet night tonight.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Quiet Sunday
Yesterday, at the end of the day, Tessa got unusually quiet, complained of achiness and an earache, and fell asleep before dinner as she sat on my lap. Uh-oh - a sleepy girl is a sure sign of illness.
She coughed lightly through the night, and she's been sneezing. Another cold has arrived, it seems. We're keeping the tissue box close at hand.
She's in good spirits this morning, but we are having a quiet day. Ryan went to church because it was our turn to bring refreshments and one of us needed to be there; it made sense for Ryan to attend because he'll be on a business trip next week and will need to miss out. I'm always sad to miss the service, because I find it so calming, but there will be lots of opportunities to attend.
This morning I find myself humming hymns to myself, so it feels like I'm present at WSUU even though I'm here.
Tessa and I have been working on lettering and counting this morning, sitting at the kitchen table together. G.G. gave Tessa a great book with wipe-clean pages and markers, and Tessa has been practicing counting and writing her numbers. I'm glad that she is at last expressing an interest in counting - like her Mama she's much more interested in words than numbers, but there is room for balance.
A quiet day. Time for puzzles, stories, and maybe even an episode of Clifford.
Tonight I hope to attend the yoga class at the YMCA - that will be some good centering time.
She coughed lightly through the night, and she's been sneezing. Another cold has arrived, it seems. We're keeping the tissue box close at hand.
She's in good spirits this morning, but we are having a quiet day. Ryan went to church because it was our turn to bring refreshments and one of us needed to be there; it made sense for Ryan to attend because he'll be on a business trip next week and will need to miss out. I'm always sad to miss the service, because I find it so calming, but there will be lots of opportunities to attend.
This morning I find myself humming hymns to myself, so it feels like I'm present at WSUU even though I'm here.
Tessa and I have been working on lettering and counting this morning, sitting at the kitchen table together. G.G. gave Tessa a great book with wipe-clean pages and markers, and Tessa has been practicing counting and writing her numbers. I'm glad that she is at last expressing an interest in counting - like her Mama she's much more interested in words than numbers, but there is room for balance.
A quiet day. Time for puzzles, stories, and maybe even an episode of Clifford.
Tonight I hope to attend the yoga class at the YMCA - that will be some good centering time.
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