What are we up to, you might ask? Well, this is the weekend of The Birthday Party: An entire weekend dedicated to children's parties. This is not a bad thing.... I like cake and potato chips, and Tessa's friends' parents are our friends, so it all works out! Yesterday was Jackson's (5) and Carter's (2) joint birthday party; today are India's (3) and Daven's (2) parties. If we have any party left in us, we will attend Marisa's summertime BBQ (no birthday there, but a party for the heck of it).
When I start thinking of it, this is actually a fabulous way to spend a weekend. Lots of friends, lots of laughter, lots of joy. Those are all things that I can use in abundance these days, and I am soaking them up.
In between birthday parties, we've been doing all kinds of random things. Yesterday Linda & Gary had their annual yard sale, and we dumped off a bunch of our things and actually made $45. Hurrah - that's an easy bit of cash! When we got home from the yard sale, Bill, Marisa, Steve, and Jer were doing yardwork for us. Our yard has never looked so wonderful - between the work of this weekend's crew and the work of the crew (Susan, Lori, Michele) the weekend before, our yard looks fabulous. Next weekend we will have a little BBQ ourselves, just to revel in the Seattle sunshine (IF things go according to plan!), to enjoy the yard, and to share friendship. But I digress.... Yesterday the yard crew stayed to lunch (simple fare) in the back yard, and we soaked up the sun and enjoyed ourselves and the company of friends and family. Tessa even got some bonding time with cousin Jer, which we think is really special (They don't get to see each other that much, and since Jer is much older than Tessa we are eternally grateful that he shows an interest in her. Tessa, of course, instantly fell in love with Jer!). This morning we went out to bagels and coffee locally, then went downtown to the aquarium (where we mostly spent time at the tidepool exhibit...ironic, since we live walking distance from tidepools at the beach!) and then for two rounds on the carousel horses. (This is nirvana for Tessa - carousel horses and tidepools rank among her most favorite things.) After that, we ran some errands downtown, including picking up my lovely new Nordstrom "altered" bras that make me feel feminine and attractive - lucky me! And now Tessa is pretending (not very skillfully) to nap, and we're waiting to begin the next round of parties.
We are still dining on the incredible chicken lasagna that Jennifer, Parks and Clare delivered - it will be a miracle if I don't put on 10 pounds from eating all the lovely food that people have provided. Thank you.
This almost feels like a pre-cancer weekend....except, of course, that nobody volunteered to do our yard work before! I guess that means that in some ways, this weekend is even better, right? We are enjoying our break and trying to gather energy for the tough days to come. The waiting is hard, despite the fact that we are happy in general and feel grateful for so much. At night my brain spins and I think about horrible things, statistics that I wish I'd never seen, and all of the "what if's." I will be glad to be in chemo because then I will feel like I'm taking strides against this disease. I want to make sure that there is not one little cancer cell left in me, because it only takes one cell to mess the whole thing up. Those are the thoughts that keep me up at night...
But I am strong and determined, with fabulous doctors. Fight, fight, fight!
With love,
Kristina
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