Gee it's great to be back home again

(The title of this post is an old John Denver song, in case you don't recall the reference...!)

I can not believe how well I am doing. Really, I'm completely surprised that I feel so wonderful - I had hoped but never believed that I could feel so strong so quickly. As Michele said, the surgery went smoothly, and my recovery has (so far) gone much better than anticipated. This morning I was able to shower without assistance (I liked the nurses but there are some things I prefer to do solo), walk around the ward unassisted, and do several "post surgery" exercises. I intend to be a model patient with a record recovery time, and I'm doing my utmost to see that happens.

Best of all (to me), my spirits are flying high. I feel confident that Dr. Dawson removed all of the cancer, and that all that remains to be done is to insure that it never comes back (hence the chemo, radiation, hormone therapy, Herceptin, etc.). I went into that hospital a woman infested with cancer, and I came out healthy. I feel peace in my heart that I am meant to be on this earth for many, many years to come.

There are, of course, details to be dealt with. I have a Jackson-Pratt drain, a lovely (NOT!) new appendage that goes into the incision site and drains excess fluid. It's gross, and I have to drain it 3x/day, which is even more disgusting. I'll have it for ten days to three weeks, apparently, and I'm already looking forward to its removal.

My chest looks quite odd to me, but not frightening. On one side, I look like an adolescent boy; on the other, a 35 year old curvaceous woman. When the drain is removed, I will be fitted for a prosthesis, and I will look forward to that because I think it will be difficult to find flattering clothes for such a figure (and that's an understatement). Already, I realize a need to go shopping, because my range of motion is quite limited (understandably) on the left side as I recover, and so I won't be wearing my usual snug T-shirts and need to stick to shirts with buttons down the front so that I can get in and out with ease. Oh well I don't mind an excuse for shopping for some cute new shirts! Anyway, I'm flashing my left side to anyone who wants to see, mostly to show that it is NOT frightening - the area looks smooth, and with a strip of gauze bandage covering the incision, I don't feel at all like Bride of Frankenstein. I have one less thing to be frightened of - I can cross that off my list!

I have so much to say, but I will keep this short as my lack of sleep is catching up with me. On Sunday night, neither Ryan nor myself slept well, and last night I didn't get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep at a time due to various hospital noises, "vitals" checks, and minor discomforts. I'm looking forward to my own bed and the comforts of home, and I will certainly be having a nap this afternoon.

Tessa is her happy self (and quite fascinated by my drain - yuck!), Caley is holding up well to the constant duties of a caregiver, and Ryan's spirits (like my own) are strong. Our household is humming along, and soon we will find our rhythem.

I look forward to writing more here, but right now sleep is even more appealing to me than lunch, and writing will wait. Thank you for your kind messages, words, thoughts, prayers, flowers, and all the rest. I love you!

Kristina