decisions

Since my radiation is harder to recover from than I'd anticipated, I'm starting to re-think my decision to have a second mastectomy in March. I just don't know how much more of this stuff I can take, and the idea of having major surgery that is, quite obviously, going to hurt like **** as soon as the pain in my left chest subsides is really sort of frightening.

Tonight I started thinking that maybe I would go ahead with the oopharectomy this spring, but put off the right mastectomy until I do reconstruction on the left side, scheduled (hopefully) for this fall.

I'd like my ovaries out because I want ALL estrogen gone from my body, and then I wouldn't worry about ovarian cancer. If I don't have to do a complete hysterectomy, then it's not a major surgery, and the recovery is pretty simple for most people. It seems a lot easier than removing my breast and then moving muscle and skin from my back (the lat flap) to reconstruct it.

These decisions are so hard to make. I will wait to talk to the oncology gynecologist early in March, and the second plastic surgeon later this month, before making my decisions....

It's all exhausting.
Kristina