Veterinarians and oncologists

Mo is at the vet, probably having surgery as I write this. His salivary gland is so swollen that his tongue is filling his whole mouth - I was relieved that they were going to give him some kind of sedative/painkiller to make him feel better while waiting for surgery. He's my first baby and as most of you know, he's an integral part of my family. He sleeps on my foot each night, and I don't dare move for fear of disturbing him...because I adore him. He's gentle with children, affectionate, and silly, and I couldn't ask for more. Oh, just one thing...I want him to be healthy!

There is a possibility that what is blocking his salivary gland is a tumor. Dear God, no.... The vet asked me what measures she should take. I know we're not made of money, but could I possibly tell the vet to put our cat to sleep (what an awful euphemism) knowing that he might have a variation of the same disease that *I* am faced with? I couldn't live with myself.

My beautiful daughter is somewhat traumatized by the whole thing with Mo. She has been crying and asking about him and saying "Worried about Mo" and "Mo is sick and he's drooling too much....the vet should make him better," and such things. I am telling Tessa that the vet will help Mo to get better. God help us all if the vet can't make him well. I am very unprepared to deal with the loss of my beloved pet at this stage, and I'm even less prepared to introduce the idea of death to Tessa. She will make the logical next step in thinking, and I can't bear her to worry about losing her mama. I can't bear it. I can't. I. Can't. Bear. It. The idea terrifies me. So, this is my prayer: Dear God, please help Mo to heal quickly and return to our family. We need him so much. Please....

And then there's the fact that I had a LONG appointment with the oncologist this morning.

Summary:
- Begin chemo as soon as I'm healed from the second surgery (2-3 weeks).
- Start with a combination of Adriamycin and Cytoxin (spellings on these may be wrong - I haven't been home long to do my research), every two weeks for four cycles.
- After that treatment, move to Taxol for 12 weeks, given weekly.
- Adriamycin does not work well with Herceptin, but it does with Taxol, so I'll begin one year of Herceptin treatments while still on the Taxol.
- Adriamycin & Cytoxin have the usual chemo side effects: nausea and vomiting, fatigue, and hair loss, as well as a whole host of others (the least likely but most frightening of which is leukemia - how's that for a side effect?!). Taxol is less taxing (pardon the awful pun) but has similar effects, just to a lesser degree.
- We are still uncertain as to whether I should do radiation; that will be decided later in the process.
- I will also receive hormone therapy (Tamoxifin is the drug most of you may have heard of, as it's in this category). That, too, will be decided down the road. I may be taking Aromatase Inhibiters instead of Tamoxifin, but to do that I will have to enter early menopause (done through ovarian oblation -eg drugs - or removal of the ovaries). It seems very likely that I will have surgery to have my ovaries removed. I don't really care - I'm done with them anyway, and breast and ovarian cancers are linked and so it's advisable with my type of cancer to remove them anyway (assuming that I have the BRCA2 gene, which we won't find out for a few weeks).

The doctor said that she has tons of cancer patients in their 30s who have come out of this very well. She said that she will make me well (along with a whole host of other people on her team). I choose to believe her.

I'm exhausted - this day has really taken it out of me. Thanks for listening.
Kristina