I found a lump

Hello, friends and family.

As some of you are aware (and my apologies to those who are not yet aware - things are happening quickly and I'm not on top of it yet) last week I found a lump in my left breast. I went to the doctor, who sent me to the Comprehensive Breast Center at Swedish, and they did two sets of mammograms and an ultrasound on Friday. Today I went in for a biopsy.

So far, we know that I have two hard masses (lumps) in my left breast, a "suspicious" lymph node, and calcium deposits scattered throughout the breast. The lumps are uneven in shape, with microcalcifications surrounding them. These things are all indications of cancer; today I further questioned the doctor and she seems pretty convinced of that. Only a biopsy can tell for sure, and I will receive those results within the next 48 hours, but my radiologist (Dr. Hallum) is so concerned that she already has set up an appointment with a surgeon for Thursday to discuss removing the lumps regardless of the biopsy results. This surgeon has a two month waiting list, but based on my results so far she is willing to get me in right away.

This is a difficult time, as you might imagine. I've never been through anything like it, and it is terrifying. The terror is tempered, though, by the fact that I have an incredible support system (that's you!), including the best husband a woman could ask for (love you, sweetheart!) and a daughter who gives me reason to stay strong and positive. We have excellent health insurance (thank you, Microsoft!), as well.

I am pleading for your thoughts and prayers. It gives me great comfort to know that I have your support. Thank you - I may be leaning on you heavily in the next few months, and certainly in the next few days.

My request is that nobody talk about this in front of Tessa, including on the answering machine. I've (mistakenly) talked to people about it in her presence, and she's started having nightmares already. She has no idea what's up but she knows it's not good. Ryan and I need to come up with a strategy of what to tell her, but we need more information first. Soooo, if you leave a message please keep it upbeat and positive - I want to surround my little girl in positive happy thoughts, even when things aren't so good. I won't be talking on the phone about this when she's around, so I'll try to talk to some of you in the evenings when possible. Mostly, I'll be sending email.

I will send an update when I hear news. I'm still hoping that I'll have to parade around in a "Drama Queen" crown when this is over, but it looks like that is not very likely.

With love,
Kristina