Home from the hospital

Hello, all! I'm writing to let you know that I'm home from the hospital, and that all is well.

I had a very restless night last night - I felt okay but was unable to sleep much. Fortunately, I had a gorgeous view of the Seattle skyline and even glimpses of West Seattle and the Sound out my window, so I was able to stare out at that and feel peaceful, even if I'd rather have been sleeping. I spent part of the night walking in circles around the ward, as suggested by the doc and PT (though I doubt they thought I'd be doing this at 2am!) to help my body to recover.

During the surgery, my abdomen was pumped full of carbon dioxide, and this is the most uncomfortable part of the whole thing at the moment. Fortunately, the pain meds are very effective and I don't have much to complain about. I have four very small incisions, and I feel pretty functional, though a bit tired. Walking is fine, sitting is fine, but the process of standing up or sitting down is uncomfortable as those motions use the abdominal muscles.

After leaving the hospital, I met up with Lori, and she drove me to the Breast Cancer 3-Day Kick-off Event at Ingraham High School. We watched an inspiring video, got some fundraising tips, and viewed various products (hats, shirts, walking shoes, etc.) for sale. I'll bet I was the only person there who'd had a hysterectomy in the past 24 hours!

Thank you to all of you who have called and offered support...I know how blessed I am to have you in my life.

Love,
Kristina

PS One thing I'm not thrilled about: I GAINED 8 pounds in this process!!!!! It's probably fluid retention and gas from the surgery, but I can't believe that I literally didn't eat solid food from Wednesday night to Saturday morning, AND I had organs removed, and I somehow gained weight. NO FAIR! The docs say that it will probably disappear within 3 days but still, I'm not pleased with my new, bloated self. Yuck!

Surgery update- It went great!

Hi All,

Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts today! Despite a delay of about 2 hours while we waited for the previous surgery to finish up, Kristina's surgery went very well. According to the Doctor she had minimal blood loss and a preliminary look at the ovaries etc, showed no sign of cancer. A more detailed lab will be done and results will be available in about a week. Surgery started at about 2 pm and went till 4 and Kristina had about 2 hours in Recovery. Susan and I visited her when she got to her room and although she was initially groggy and parched she perked up after a supersized value meal of clear liquids (broth, water and popsicle) and some pain meds. She graduated to full liquid- read Milkshake, and even took a few slow laps around the ward as her doctor had suggested. About 9 PM it all caught up to her and she decided it was time to go to sleep. Thank you all for your support and thank you Grammie and Grandpa for taking such good care of TK, thank you Paul for waiting around and getting lunch with me and thank you Susan for being there this evening (and for treating for dinner!). I fully expect that Kristina will be back home tomorrow and giving a more thorough update.

Good night

One Tired, and relieved, Husband ;-)

Ready for surgery

I'm ready. I am in a good space mentally: I passed my EKG and chest X-rays today with flying colors, and my bloodwork from Wednesday all came back looking great, and I'm ready to go. I have lost at least two pounds on the liquid-diet-with-laxatives (YUCK!) that I was put on to prepare me for surgery, and tonight I plan on dreaming of chocolate cake. :-)

This evening, our friend Jenny had us over for dinner (mine was chicken broth and jello - Ryan, Jenny, and the kids all had "real" food!) and she gave me a lovely care package to take to the hospital. I am blessed by my friendships, and I do not forget that for a moment. Jenny is a new friend, and my friends new and old have surrounded me and made me feel cared for. Thank you to everyone for the calls, emails, and cards. I know how fortunate I am!

Tonight I had a nice, long bubble bath with Tessa, and an extra long snuggle with her before she went to sleep. I will miss her dreadfully while I'm recovering, but I know that she will be very happy with Grammy & Grandpa, and that they will have lovely adventures.

Ryan has been very supportive, and will be at my side at the hospital. Please give him a call or send him a thought or prayer, because while I'm sleeping, he'll be worrying. I love you, Ryan!

I will have Ryan update the blog tomorrow night. Wish me well - I'm off!
Love,
Kristina

Surgery Prep: Shopping

Yes, you read that right. I have recently become a shop-a-holic, and I've been buying new clothes to fit my new body. I am just tired of being unfeminine - after losing a breast, my hair, my eyelashes and eyebrows, getting fat, being covered in scars, and now about to lose a uterus/ovaries (this month) and another breast (next month), I was ready for some retail therapy. I want to be cute, I want to stand out, I want to be fashionable. I want to be thin, and I want to be healthy...and I want to show off my thin and healthy body! Sooo, I've been prepping for surgery by shopping a little. (My grandma gave me a check....SO appreciated, I can't even tell you, and her gift has funding my little extravagances.) I have a long way to go to be truly fashionable but I have made some strides. :-)

In other, less exciting, surgery prep, I have just entered the liquid-diet phase of surgery preparation, starting by taking an oral laxative that tasted so bad it's a wonder I didn't throw up. Grrr that's not fun....!

Today I had my oncology appointment, and another Herceptin infusion. Tomorrow, I have an EKG and chest x-ray, as well as my admit appointment for the hospital. Fun, fun, fun.

Many thanks to *susan* for the call today. (No, I didn't find shoes I could afford...but I found a lovely pair of Manolo Blahnik's for $413 ON SALE. Are they out of their minds? They may have been perfect but for $413 I want an entire wardrobe, not just a pair of shoes!)

Love,
Kristina

Surgery Updates

I just arrived home from my meeting with the gyn-onc, Dr. Paley. I was encouraged by our conversation, and I'm not dreading the surgery nearly as much as I was before.

Updates:
- The surgery will be at 11:45am, meaning an 8:45am admit time, which is a huge improvement over the 5:45am admit time I was initially given!
- Recovery shouldn't be nearly as bad as I was anticipating. I will still be able to do walking (for both practical and exercise reasons), and I can lift up to 10 pounds with each arm, and I can push a stroller as long as it's the jogger that rolls so easily.
- Within two weeks I will be thinking "Why have any restrictions at all?" which is great news. (The answer to that question is "so I don't pull out some stitches, get a hernia, and require an operation to fix it!)
- As long as I'm able to eat and drink normally, I will be released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon.

Speaking of eating and drinking...I'm going to have some unintentional weight loss because of all of this! Starting on WEDNESDAY evening, I will be on a clear-liquids diet in preparation for the surgery. If you see me on Thursday and I'm a bit, umm, grouchy, then you'll know why! I will be starving on such a diet, but it is what it is. (Speaking of diets, the scale gave me a new low number this morning - hurrah!)

I think my parents might take Tessa for a long weekend trip in their motorhome, and I think that she and they will LOVE it, and I will rest, guilt-free, at home during that time.

Between now and surgery I need to get another chest x-ray, do more blood work, and get an EKG...more appointments (sigh). But I can do this, and I'm not as nervous about it as I was just a few hours ago.

Kristina

So tired again

Why am I so **** tired? Tonight we were all going to go to Paul & Libby's and I just couldn't get off the couch. I've done nothing all evening (Ryan & Tessa went to visit P&L without me, with my blessing) and I'm STILL tired. It's horribly frustrating. Life is meant to be lived, and here I am, doing nothing! I hate that feeling.

I also worry because surgery is days away and it is not going to raise my energy levels...

Kristina

Update on friend's mammogram

My friend has let me know that her mammogram was clear. HURRAH! Now she and I can bond over children, dogs, and a love of West Seattle instead of over cancerous lumps.

Kristina

Princess Tessa in her realm

Tessa has entered a princess stage. Here's proof:

poetry

This was posted on the YSC site. I had to share it, because I am a strong woman.
-----------------
(http://www.wnet.org/foolingwithwords/mainlst_piercy.html)

"For strong women"
by Marge Piercy

A strong woman is a woman who is straining.
A strong woman is a woman standing
on tiptoe and lifting a barbell
while trying to sing Boris Godunov.
A strong woman is a woman at work
cleaning out the cesspool of the ages,
and while she shovels, she talks about
how she doesn't mind crying, it opens
the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up
develops the stomach muscles, and
she goes on shoveling with tears
in her nose.

A strong woman is a woman in whose head
a voice is repeating, I told you so,
ugly, bad girl, bitch, nag, shrill, witch,
ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,
why aren't you feminine, why aren't
you soft, why aren't you quiet, why
aren't you dead?

A strong woman is a woman determined
to do something others are determined
not be done. She is pushing up on the bottom
of a lead coffin lid. She is trying to raise
a manhole cover with her head, she is trying
to butt her way through a steel wall.
Her head hurts. People waiting for the hole
to be made say, hurry, you're so strong.

A strong woman is a woman bleeding
inside. A strong woman is a woman making
herself strong every morning while her teeth
loosen and her back throbs. Every baby,
a tooth, midwives used to say, and now
every battle a scar. A strong woman
is a mass of scar tissue that aches
when it rains and wounds that bleed
when you bump them and memories that get up
in the night and pace in boots to and fro.

A strong woman is a woman who craves love
like oxygen or she turns blue choking.
A strong woman is a woman who loves
strongly and weeps strongly and is strongly
terrified and has strong needs. A strong woman is strong
in words, in action, in connection, in feeling;
she is not strong as a stone but as a wolf
suckling her young. Strength is not in her, but she
enacts it as the wind fills a sail.

What comforts her is others loving
her equally for the strength and for the weakness
from which it issues, lightning from a cloud.
Lightning stuns. In rain, the clouds disperse.
Only water of connection remains,
flowing through us. Strong is what we make
each other. Until we are all strong together,
a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid.

Pelvic ultrasound okay

Today I did a pelvic ultrasound. Good news - my ovaries look normal, and there was nothing unusual on the ultrasound. Between that and the CA125 I'm hoping that I'm in the 83-90% of people in my situation who do NOT have ovarian cancer cells lurking in their body.

Kristina

Oops - surgery date goof

I think I posted that surgery is March 30, but it's the 31st (a Friday). I will be checking in at (yawwwwwn!) 5:30am that morning, and released the next afternoon/evening if things go well. Recovery will be about four weeks, including two weeks where I won't be able to do much. (Argh this is going to be difficult!)

Love,
Kristina

Busy life

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted - the time really does fly by. In part, this is due to the fact that I'm trying as hard as I can to just move ahead with my life and do the normal things of life; in part it's due to trying to find 10 hours a week to do my new job; in part it's due to the fact that I am really, really tired these days and find myself going to bed when Tessa does.

I continue to dread my upcoming surgeries, and, more importantly, the recovery from those surgeries. It feels like for every step forward, there are two steps back, and that's hard to take. Right now, aside from the fatigue, I feel great, but I know that in a couple weeks I'll be bedridden. That's a difficult idea for me.

This morning, a friend of mine is going in for a mammogram to check out some suspicious findings in her breast. Please send out a prayer for her that this is nothing, and that she is healthy and well, and doesn't need any treatment. Last month, I received two frantic phonecalls from friends whose friends had just been diagnosed ("How did you pick your doctor?" "What advice do you have?" "How do I help my friend?") and it hits me again how prevalent this **** disease is. I help my friends joyfully to get through these rough times - that's what friends are for - but it makes me ache that yet more sisters are initiated to the club.

As for my own treatment, it's pretty quiet between now and surgery. Today I'm having a pelvic ultrasound, I still go to Herceptin infusions, I'm still in physical therapy, but I don't see a doctor every day, and that's an improvement!

I'm continuing on my Weight Watchers mission, and I've lost a total of 24.2 pounds so far. The weight loss has slowed, but continues, and I am diligent about tracking my points and making healthy choices (not always the easiest thing to do!). Those size 8s feel really darn good, and I'm motivated to stay in them (or even to drop one more size). Ryan has joined WW with me, and has lost 18+ pounds, and I'm really proud of him for doing that. We're going to get healthy together, and THAT is a good thing. I'm also back to exercising, and yesterday the team did a walk of 6 miles that I joined. I'm doing light weights and stretching every day, too, in the hope of toning my body and preparing myself for surgeries. All this is time consuming, but I'm learning to adapt it into my schedule.

My new job is very interesting, and I really enjoy the work, but finding time for it is a challenge. When I do find the time, I go to the coffee shop nearest our house (C&P - really, the best lattes in Seattle, I think) and settle in for hours, calling it my office. When I find the rhythm of the job, I think that I've got a pretty darn good set-up.

Tessa continues to grow, learn, and delight in her world, with the occassional fantadstic temper tantrum thrown in. She's an angel and a delight...I'll post more stories about her soon.

That's all from me for now - Tessa is demanding attention (not surprising!). I will try to update more soon, including some pictures.

Love,
Kristina

Bloodwork with good results

Yesterdaay, with my heart in my mouth and my stomach in knots, I called my oncologist's office to see if they had the results of my CA 125 screen. (CA 125 is a marker in the blood for ovarian cancer; my CA 27.29 is a breast cancer marker, which has been in the normal range since my surgery, but I hadn't had a CA 125 done.) My gyn-onc was concerned that I hadn't had one done, and needed me to do it before surgery. With the "10-17%" in my head, the whole thing made me very nervous.

Well, good news. The range of normal is up to 39, and I'm a 9. Perfect! The test is certainly not 100% accurate in predicting ovarian cancers (some doctors don't even look at these markers because of their fallibility) but it's still a relief to pass this checkpoint with flying colors.

All of my other bloodwork (red and white cell counts, etc.) is in the normal range, but in looking at the trend, my numbers have been falling for over a month, and were at a low last week. This is not surprising given the radiation I've had, and I feel more tired now than I did a couple of weeks ago, so it all adds up. Often, radiation fatigue kicks in when radiation ends, and that is certainly the case with me. It's nothing I need to worry about, but it's certainly something that drags me down. It's no fun to wake up after 10 hours of sleep and feel exhausted!

I must say...the thing that's really driving me right now is about weight loss/getting fit. I want to sleep in my size 8's because it makes me so happy that they fit me...now isn't that silly? It just feel so good to have hit this milestone. I keep sneaking peeks in the full length mirror at our house to assure myself that really, it's true, and that I have lost so much weight. Certainly, there's more weight to follow, but I am enjoying the journey so much more from this weight than any other I've had in the past several years.

I will add, though, that's it's gotten a bit more difficult to stay on track. At my new weight, I only get 20 points a day (plus the 35 weekly flex points) and I feel hungry a lot more often. I've come to realize that I must give up my mochas - it is both healthier and more filling to have a latte (the milk gives me needed calcium, and the coffee doesn't have any extra points) and an apple, instead of my beloved mocha. This is slightly boring, to say the least, but well worth it!

Love,
K

Surgery info

Today I chose my new plastic surgeon, Dr. Miles. She is actually a breast cancer patient herself: after years of doing breast reconstructions, she found herself with breast cancer. She's in the reconstruction phase, so she is certainly someone who can relate to me and vice versa, but I chose her because she has the perfect blend of expertise, knowledge, flexibility, and bedside manner. She was referred to me by Dr. Dawson, for whom I have the utmost respect, and that helps, too.

I will do my gynecological surgery on the 30th of this month, and then hope to do the prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction at the end of April (I will receive the date later this week).

For recon, I have chosen to do a lat flap (using the latimus dorsi muscle from my back) and a silicone implant (the lat flap alone would make me a small A cup; using the implant will make me more my normal size). The muscle over the implant will make the implant look more natural.

Silicone has earned a nasty reputation in breast implants in past years, but my research shows that it has become very safe. There is a 13 year (so far) study underway with the new, improved implants, and there is compelling reason to believe that they are the best choice for me. I will outline my reasons in another post some day - today I'm just too tired to rehash all of it here.

The right side surgery will involve perhaps 5 hours on an operating table, and 4-5 days in the hospital, followed by about a 4 week recovery. Ack.

Really, it's all overwhelming. My strength will be tested again, more times than I can count. I know that I am strong but I certainly hope that this doesn't cause me to find my breaking point!

I will be relieved to get my ovaries and remaining breast tissue out of me. I do not want to worry about lurking cancer. Now that the decisions have been made, I just want to get it over with. I've spent a good deal of time thinking about it, and I just want to be done.

I will return to Dr. Miles for the left side reconstruction, as well, and hope to move forward with that in October, when I'm healed from radiation. Because I had such a bad radiation burn, I may need extra time for my skin to heal and gain resiliancy, but only time will tell. I still pray that I will be done with all surgeries and treatments in calendar year 2006 (except Femara, and maybe Herceptin). Did I mention that this is a LONG road?!

I hope that in June, with my new breast and no fear about ovarian cancer, I will spend the bulk of my time training for the 3-Day. I will train intermittantly between now and then, as my health allows, but it's going to be a rocky road, I see. All this surgery is rough on a body.

Today I also had my Herceptin infusion, and my last Lupron shot (I won't need Lupron once my ovaries are out).

Today I asked Dr. Rinn if she would consider crossing the finish line with me, perhaps walking the last hour of the 3-Day with me. She has helped me through the ugliest parts of treatment, and I would like to share this victory with her. She said that she'd be honored, and that though she couldn't do the whole walk, she would like to do the whole last day with me. I love this woman! It will be incredibly meaningful to share the finish line with her on the team, and to introduce her to the amazing friends who walk at my side, and to have Tessa & Ryan cheer us as we complete the walk. I am blessed to have this woman as my oncologist. I know that she has had sleepless nights dreaming up the best ways to help me, and I hope that she feels the reward of this experience, as well.

I'm really, really tired again. I think that ending radiation - both from an emotional standpoint and the physical aspects of delayed radiation fatigue - is tiring me out, and certainly I'm worn out by making so many huge decisions about my life and treatment. My burdens are lessened by Tessa's smiles, Ryan's help, a lovely dinner out with my family (thanks, Dad, for treating!) and Michele & Elliott last night, flowers from Mom & Dad S., and the many calls of love and support from friends and family. I'm doing okay...but I'm tired. I keep hoping that all this will get easier, and it doesn't. I know I need to take it one day at a time, and that is what I try to do...but the big picture looms, and it's still very overwhelming.

With love,
Kristina

We've come a long way, baby

Here's a couple of pictures from December, including my last day of chemo. I didn't take any full body shots when I was my heaviest, but I think you can see the difference.

Done with radiation...and pictures

Radiation is completely finished. My team was kind to me, and I will miss the friendly smiles of Luz, Jude, and Marie...but I will not miss the daily appointment!

I'm also attaching pictures of my new hair (I even included a silly shot of my hair all fluffed up so you can see how long it is) and slimmer self. I have gone from an unhealthy BMI to a very healthy one (23) and I can't wait to see what the next few pounds do to flatten my tummy etc. And then, of course, recent pic of Tessa, because she's so much more fun to look at than I am!

Today I have another meeting with a another plastic surgeon, and a meeting with the oncologist, and a Herceptin infusion (back at the chemo ward, as it takes over an hour), and a Lupron shot. Radiation is done, but treatment is not.

Love,
Kristina

PS In the pics, I'm wearing a too-large size large t-shirt, because all my clothes are too big for me. I did, however, buy two pairs of SIZE 8 pants, one of which I'm wearing in the pic. I have not been a size 8 since I-don't-know-when and that feels really darn good. I tried on a dozen pairs of pants, and all the 10's were too big, and all the 8's fit. Hurrah!

The long and winding road - more and more treatment

Only one more radiation, and my skin is doing very well. Hallelujah! Tomorrow, Ryan and Tessa will go with me, and we'll visit the piroshkie man (his name is Dimitri), and then I will be DONE with all this radiation business, and can get on to healing from radiation.

But I'm not even close to being "done."

Today I met with the gyn.-onc., Dr. Paley, and I liked her instantly. There are no easy fixes, though (and I'm learning that lesson over, and over, and over in my life) and it seems that I must have a laproscopically-aided vaginal hysterectomy and salino-oopharectomy. (Pardon me if I have spelling errors here...!) What this means is that I will have incisions made at my bellybutton, pubic hair line, and over each ovary (four incisions each an inch or so long), and then they'll remove my ovaries, tubes, and uterus, pulling the whole thing out my vagina. They will rinse my abdominal cavity (using a "wash" technique) and then collect the fluid from the rinse to test for ovarian cells with abnormalities. If this sounds unattractive to you, just imagine how it makes me feel. Sigh.

Surgery is scheduled for March 30th. I will be in the hospital (Swedish) overnight at minimum; recovery is a few weeks.

Today the doctor told me that she thought, based on the data, that I had between a 40% and a 60% chance of getting ovarian cancer before I turn 80, unless I have this procedure. Lovely. I have also read in several places that shutting down my ovaries permanently (and there's no more permanent way than this) reduces my chances of recurrant breast cancer by 60%. Needless to say, I am not debating this procedure: I see it as something that I absolutely must do.

I was hoping to get away with a simple oopharectomy, but the evidence is against it. My doctor co-authored a study at UW when she was a resident there that found that there was a relatively high risk of ovarian cancer in the leftover tubes if only the ovaries were removed. This study has been replicated widely at other centers. The only way to remove the entire tube is to remove the uterus the tubes connect to...so it all goes.

The good news is that ovarian cancer, when caught early, is highly treatable. The bad news is that I have a 10-17% chance that they will actually find trace amounts of ovarian cancer when they open me up. These numbers are new to me, and I'm horribly disheartened at the thought that I may, at this very moment, have ovarian cancer lurking in my body. Hopefully I fall in the 83-90% of my population (young her2/neu+ ER+ women with breast cancer and a family history of breast cancer) who does NOT have early or late stage ovarian cancer. Only the surgery will tell. If microscopic amounts are found, then nothing in the surgery will change. If larger amounts of cancer are found, then I'll get an incision from my bellybutton to my pubic hair line, and who the **** knows what they'll actually remove...and then I'd do chemo again. Let's just hope that I don't have to find out what that would be like! The odds are in my favor that if cancer is found, it would be microscopic in nature, and I'm hoping that they don't find a single awful cell.

I meet with yet another plastic surgeon on Wednesday, and then I will make a decision about which plastic surgeon to use, and I will book the surgery to do my prophylactic mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I need to wait one month after the hysterectomy, and I'll get in as soon as possible after that, so I'm looking at the end of April for that surgery.

This road goes on, and on, and on. I really want a break. I had it in my head that I'd be temporarily (until after the 3-Day) done when Easter came around, but that is not the case...I will be recovering from the hysterectomy and getting ready for the even bigger reconstruction.

Femara continues to treat me well - no joint pain, no side effects. So far, my heart continues to respond well to the every-three-weeks Herceptin, as well. I am attacking this damn disease on every front, and I intend to be victorious, but what a major, major pain it all is. Enough already!!!

Physical therapy is going well, and I'm working on upper body to get back mobility in my left arm and loosen up my (very tight) shoulders; I'm also working on core strength the prepare for surgery. The more fit I am, the easier the surgery should be for me.

And speaking of being fit...a positive ending for this sort of negative posting. After losing 23 pounds, my jeans weren't fitting very well, so I went shopping between medical appointments (I had 4!) today. I tried on a dozen pairs of pants, and (drumroll, please!) I AM A SIZE 8!!!!!!!! Just for fun, I tried on a number of cute dresses, and since a few that I liked were only available in size 10, I tried them on, only to find out that they were most definitely too big. This is FABULOUS news! I bought two pairs of jeans - since jeans are my "uniform" and I'll be wearing them non-stop as these are the only pairs of pants that I own that will truly fit me right now - and I'm wearing them with pride. This was most certainly a bright spot in an otherwise cloudy day.

Love,
Kristina

Radiation, surgery, weight, and money

Radiation: I have three left. My skin has not experienced further degeneration since re-starting...after this posting, I will go an do a saline rinse, Burrows soak, etc. because they're working. Only three left....I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

Surgery: Though I had to cancel my March 22 surgery date, it looks like another date will follow soon on the heels. It seems that the surgeries I'm doing (lat flaps) are pretty invasive and so they can't do recon. on both sides simultaneously, and would prefer to do one side at a time. I'll do the proph. side soon, but I'm waiting to figure out if I should do the mastectomy first or the oopharectomy first, and as soon as I figure that out I'll book the surgeries.

Weight: I officially weigh less than I did (by one pound) than when I started chemo! I have lost 22 pounds, plus the extra, of the hated chemo weight. HURRAH! Now I'm not working on getting back to normal, I'm working on getting skinny. I can't wait to see what the next few pounds do!

Money: I am pleased to announce that I have accepted a contract position through the Bellevue School District, working on curriculum development. I'm absolutely thrilled by this development because a) I really enjoyed curriculum development when I was teaching, and b) the pay is $24/hour, c) the hours are flexible (I've signed up for 10 hours per week), and d) I can work from home. This is about the best gig I can imagine for a stay-at-home-mom in need of cash, and I'm excited to get started.

I am DETERMINED to get my life back in order. I can do this...

Kristina

Five more left

Today I completed my last full field radiation treatment. All that's left are five boosts. I can do this...

Kristina

Radiation: NOT done

Today I went for my radiation check up. After a weekend of slathering up with soaks, compresses, and ointments (boring!) I have excellent results: no more ooze. The staff all stood around me and oohed and ahhed over how much better my chest looks. It's a remarkable difference.

This means that I'm back on the radiation bandwagon. Today I had a full treatment area dosage, and I get another one of the same tomorrow; after that, I will do the five boosts (on a smaller area, over the scar line). In other words, I had a delay, but I will do the full course of radiation.

This also means that I need to keep up with the soaks, rinses, and ointments. Sigh.

I have very mixed feelings about this. Overall, of course, it's better for my long term prognosis to complete radiation, so I will. In the short term, though, it's a bit frightening.

My new end date for radiation is March 7. I will not be writing it on my calendar, as the date has slipped so many times that it wouldn't surprise me if it slipped again.

Six more to go.

Kristina