Surgery info

Today I chose my new plastic surgeon, Dr. Miles. She is actually a breast cancer patient herself: after years of doing breast reconstructions, she found herself with breast cancer. She's in the reconstruction phase, so she is certainly someone who can relate to me and vice versa, but I chose her because she has the perfect blend of expertise, knowledge, flexibility, and bedside manner. She was referred to me by Dr. Dawson, for whom I have the utmost respect, and that helps, too.

I will do my gynecological surgery on the 30th of this month, and then hope to do the prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction at the end of April (I will receive the date later this week).

For recon, I have chosen to do a lat flap (using the latimus dorsi muscle from my back) and a silicone implant (the lat flap alone would make me a small A cup; using the implant will make me more my normal size). The muscle over the implant will make the implant look more natural.

Silicone has earned a nasty reputation in breast implants in past years, but my research shows that it has become very safe. There is a 13 year (so far) study underway with the new, improved implants, and there is compelling reason to believe that they are the best choice for me. I will outline my reasons in another post some day - today I'm just too tired to rehash all of it here.

The right side surgery will involve perhaps 5 hours on an operating table, and 4-5 days in the hospital, followed by about a 4 week recovery. Ack.

Really, it's all overwhelming. My strength will be tested again, more times than I can count. I know that I am strong but I certainly hope that this doesn't cause me to find my breaking point!

I will be relieved to get my ovaries and remaining breast tissue out of me. I do not want to worry about lurking cancer. Now that the decisions have been made, I just want to get it over with. I've spent a good deal of time thinking about it, and I just want to be done.

I will return to Dr. Miles for the left side reconstruction, as well, and hope to move forward with that in October, when I'm healed from radiation. Because I had such a bad radiation burn, I may need extra time for my skin to heal and gain resiliancy, but only time will tell. I still pray that I will be done with all surgeries and treatments in calendar year 2006 (except Femara, and maybe Herceptin). Did I mention that this is a LONG road?!

I hope that in June, with my new breast and no fear about ovarian cancer, I will spend the bulk of my time training for the 3-Day. I will train intermittantly between now and then, as my health allows, but it's going to be a rocky road, I see. All this surgery is rough on a body.

Today I also had my Herceptin infusion, and my last Lupron shot (I won't need Lupron once my ovaries are out).

Today I asked Dr. Rinn if she would consider crossing the finish line with me, perhaps walking the last hour of the 3-Day with me. She has helped me through the ugliest parts of treatment, and I would like to share this victory with her. She said that she'd be honored, and that though she couldn't do the whole walk, she would like to do the whole last day with me. I love this woman! It will be incredibly meaningful to share the finish line with her on the team, and to introduce her to the amazing friends who walk at my side, and to have Tessa & Ryan cheer us as we complete the walk. I am blessed to have this woman as my oncologist. I know that she has had sleepless nights dreaming up the best ways to help me, and I hope that she feels the reward of this experience, as well.

I'm really, really tired again. I think that ending radiation - both from an emotional standpoint and the physical aspects of delayed radiation fatigue - is tiring me out, and certainly I'm worn out by making so many huge decisions about my life and treatment. My burdens are lessened by Tessa's smiles, Ryan's help, a lovely dinner out with my family (thanks, Dad, for treating!) and Michele & Elliott last night, flowers from Mom & Dad S., and the many calls of love and support from friends and family. I'm doing okay...but I'm tired. I keep hoping that all this will get easier, and it doesn't. I know I need to take it one day at a time, and that is what I try to do...but the big picture looms, and it's still very overwhelming.

With love,
Kristina