taking a break

Here is the letter I sent to Komen today.

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I am sorry that I have fallen off the map in the past week or so, with so many deadlines. I love the work with Komen, and I know how important it is.

I am coming to the realization (slowly and uncomfortably) that I need to take a break from dealing with breast cancer issues. Despite my desire to be active, hands-on with Komen, I am finding that it is taking an emotional toll. I am still struggling with the effects of my treatment and the handful of pills that I continue to take, and I need to schedule another surgery, and my mind is bogged down with thoughts of cancer. Unfortunately, though my work at Komen is positive, I think that it's adding to my inability to move on to a post-cancer space right now.

So, with regret, and with many apologies (and no small amount of embarrassment), I need to bow out for a while. Perhaps before this year's race, and certainly next year, I will be back, but in a better head space. I am spending some time trying to figure out my boundaries with cancer issues, and finding a better balance in my life. Next year Tessa will be in kindergarten and I won't have to juggle the times so much, and that will help, too.

My apologies for the inconvenience that I know this causes you.
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I feel weird about it, and have all kinds of other emotions as well, but I think it's what I need to do.

I wish this were not the case.