At 11:50am I couldn't stand it any longer, I had to call.
I got put on hold.
Then, after I explained what I was looking for, I got put on hold again.
Then, the receptionist came back and said that the results were ready but I'd have to wait until they faxed them over.
Hold again.
At this point, I was shaking and near a nervous breakdown. Scenerio after scenerio played out in my head. I was parked near Qwest, waiting to go do my volunteer work, and I thought "if it's cancer how will I get this done? How will I do my job today and tomorrow?" which was the first thing that popped into my head, but not nearly as scary as "How could I ever put my family through this again? I don't feel strong enough yet. I'm so scared..." and then the fear stuck and it was just a vibration of fear running through my body.
More holding. More shaking.
To distract myself, I played a little game. "I'll turn on the radio, and whatever song is playing will tell me the answer to my question: am I okay?" I know this is stupid, but I needed SOME kind of distraction.
The song that was playing? "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. "You must be crazy," it told me. Well, yes, I knew that already, and didn't need the radio to tell me.
She came back, calling, "Are you still there?" "Yes," I whispered. Now I was really shaking.
She said, "Mumble mumble mumble Dr. Rinn's out of the office so we had another doc take a look but mumble mumble mumble mumble there's no evidence of malignancy. Oh, I'm sorry, I should have said THAT first!"
I broke down and cried, and then, embarrassed, told her that I didn't know why I was crying for GOOD news.
GOOD news. Thank God. This was really, really scary.
And then I went and did set-up at Qwest Field for I AM THE CURE. The race is going to be a HUGE success tomorrow and I can't wait to see it all come together!
Thank you to those of you who went through it with me, and who sent out prayers and thoughts. We've made it through another round, and now we can enjoy the sunshine.
(I hate cancer.)
Love,
Kristina
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1 comment:
.rectsrn
Hi Kristina,
Thank God you are safe.
This is a case of NED ie No evidence of disease. But it is not by accident..possibly has to do with some kind of change in your lifestyle food habits fluid intake emotional openness etc..Did you have any illness recently like malaria etc..Can you track your recent past.The cure is there.
Can you find it out..Only you can.
It would be a great advise to many poor VICTIMS OF CANCER..
Regards
Jayasankar Pillai
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