The news about my YSC friend has me down. My impending bone scan (tomorrow) has me down. My never-going-to-get-it-done feelings about Christmas have me feeling bah-humbug.
But here's the zinger. I recently read, from a reputable source, that women diagnosed with breast cancer when they are under the age of 45 have a 50% 10 year survival rate. Translated, that means that I have a 50% chance of being dead in 8.5 years. I already knew that I had an 82% five year survival rate, but somehow that seems easier to beat than 50% over 10 years.
**** (put your nastiest four letter word here)
Reading the statistic doesn't change anything, but I'm having a very hard time not thinking about it and basically it makes me feel weak.
Please do not say, "This doesn't apply to you." Please do not tell me that my good attitude will save me. Please do not tell me that it's all going to be okay, because you don't know that. Nobody knows that. I am watching amazing women fall, and it makes me hurt. Breast cancer doesn't discriminate, and it often takes strong, vibrant, amazing women with good attitudes, good diets, and good doctors. And I HATE IT.
Merry freakin' Christmas. I am feeling like Scrooge right now, and the lights on my tree, the cards on my wall, the carols on the stereo are not knocking me out of my bad attitude.
I hope this feeling passes soon.
Kristina
PS If anyone knows of a good place to buy a new washing machine, please let me know. Ours died and we are currently on the hunt for a new one. That's what I'm doing today instead of wrapping gifts (sigh).
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2 comments:
Re: washing machine. We recently had to buy a new dryer and went to every store for miles and miles around. Settled on Albert Lee Appliances at Southcenter ... good price, free delivery, free pickup, no nonsense. Good luck.
My friend is 44, diagnosed and treated 11 years ago, did the 3-day walk this summer, and is coming to our Christmas Eve party. Never give up!!!
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