Still trying to make sense of things

Well, it's Tuesday, and I'm still trying to make sense of things. Ryan has been off for a week, and we are doing okay but have certainly not found our groove. We're both in individual therapy and are waiting for an appt with the marriage therapist. We're working hard on sorting things out.

I have been on antibiotics for a while (done with them now) and my cold is diminished to occassional coughs, and lots of nose blowing. This is a major improvement, and I expect to be on track for chemo tomorrow.

The thing about all of this is that it is just so tiring. I really wish I could snap my fingers and make it all better. The cumulative effects of the chemo are catching up with me in terms of fatigue, and I think because of that it's harder for me to stay caught up with even simple things.

I feel like if I could just get one uninterrupted night of sleep (no insomnia), and really focus on what needs to be done, maybe I could make some inroads, but instead, I'm operating in a fog.

In the middle of this fog, there are bright spots. PEPS is coming over today to hang out, and there are play dates planned, and things are in the works to utilize the Ummelina Spa gift certificate that I received this summer. Last night Ryan planned a date for us, and we had a nice dinner. One day at a time.

Oh, and since I mentioned it here - despite the flexibility and quick money, I have decided that this is not the right time for me to work. I think that when I've got my head screwed on straight it would be an excellent opportunity, and I may do it then, but right now I just need to focus on the day to day and the healing that needs to occur. I only have enough energy for that right now, unfortunately, and I'm going to take my body's cues.

I hope everyone else is enjoying this foggy day - fall is here!
Kristina