I am home from chemo, and no matter how you look at it now I'm half way done. I've been in chemo since July 27 (12 weeks + one "rest" week when I was sick) and I will be done December 14 if things stay on track (8 more weeks) so I'm over the numbers hump AND the time hump.
My doctor is pleased how I'm doing. I asked if it was possible to lower the Decadron dosage since I'm doing so well with Taxol (no more allergic reactions) but the fear is that I might have another allergic reaction if we lower the Decadron (steroid), so it stays where it's at. Of course this is the right thing to do but also unfortunate as I'm bloated (can't wear my rings or bracelets - my watch may be next to go) and it interferes with my sleep...but these things are better than the alternative, and now that I've explored that alternative with a doctor I truly trust I will stop wondering about it.
I am more tired than ever before - the "cumulative effect" is really catching up with me. It's not something I can just push through at this point - at the end of the day I'm crabby and impatient because I'm just so tired I can't think. In this sense, it is very fortunate that Ryan is home with me, because he's REALLY helping to pick up extra time with Tessa to allow me to vege out as I need to. The doctor says that this is what I must do - it's no time to play at being strong when I don't feel that way - and reminds me that this is tempory. Being more than half way done does help me with this perspective...it wasn't that long ago that I couldn't imagine having completed 8 rounds of chemo, but I've done it, and I know I can do 8 more. I'm cutting back on everything - less caring for Tessa, less housework (Ryan is picking up slack with both of these things), and also less time at the computer, blogging or doing email, etc.
Things are better than they were last week...calmer. Ryan and I are adjusting to the new routine of having him at home, and there is (once again) room for optimism and hope. Phew.
Good night!
Love,
Kristina
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Hey there, my friend. If you ask me, you still seem to have your head "screwed" on just right! Your notes sound calmer...it brings peace to my heart that you and Ryan are finding your "groove" though that must be challenging. Would you like more housekeeping help? Just let Susan know and we will do what we can!
Corina
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