Our anniversary, Kathy, chemo, and friends

Today is our sixth wedding anniversary. On this day in 1999, Ryan and I awoke at the Stephanie Inn at Cannon Beach to run to the window, pull open the shades...and find sunshine. We whooped in glee (the weather forecast was anything but certain), pulled on our (complimentary and very plush) bathrobes, and ran out of our room onto the grass to dance around in excitement. While outside reveling in the beautiful day - at about 6:30am, mind you - who should we see but our beloved Suzie-Q running down the beach. She came up to join us, and we look over, and, lo and behold, Paul & Libby were out on their little deck. We all chatted together, brimming with exitement for the day, before scampering off to our rooms. As Ryan and I returned to our room, across the dew-soaked grass and in our bare feet, we held hands and ran. One of my favorite all-time photos (that I keep in a frame on my bedroom dresser) is the picture of us that Paul snapped in that moment - our feet aren't touching the ground, and our happiness is evident for miles around.

The rest of our wedding day was equally lovely. We spent time with friends and family - Ryan went to pizza with "the guys" and I went for a long beach walk with the women of my family. Ryan and I both got massages. Ryan even managed to go to the wine tasting in the Chart Room a couple of hours before the wedding while I went, along with Carolyn and Susan, to get my hair done. Ryan got ready in Paul & Libby's room while Carolyn & Susan helped me to get ready in mine. At the last minute I decided that I didn't want "blushing pink" toenails, and Carolyn gave me a pedicure in bright red - my hands were shaking too much to do it myself! (Out of excitement, not fear, certainly.)

When it was time for our ceremony, our friends gathered on the beach below our room - marked out by two beautiful steel tiki torches that Susan loaned us - and our parents, Susan, Paul, pastor Woodley, and ourselves gathered for a moment of meditation and prayer. This was a wedding about marrying two souls, not about floral arrangements or other silly details, and we wanted to be in the moment as we spoke the most important words of our lives.

Woodley walked down to the beach first, and then was followed by Susan & Paul. Next, both of Ryan's parents walked him, and then it was my turn to walk with my parents. We talked and laughed all the way - people couldn't hear us over the surf - and it was lovely. When we got close, our friends started humming "Here comes the bride" which had me laughing - we'd decided against music on the beach, because the surf would surely drown it out anyway, and we love the ocean's roar.

Our vows were beautiful, and meaningful to us. Ryan slipped his arm around my waist, and the whole thing was bliss. My brother did a reading, and so did Ryan's sister, and Woodley's words were perfect for us.

And then we were wed! Amidst laughter, friendship, and family, we became our own little family unit, and it was perfect.

After the ceremony, we headed up the road a mile or so to our reception site - a beatuiful garden setting with an indoor area for a formal dinner (filet mignon or salmon with lobster sauce were the entree choices, along with a vegetarian choice that I have since forgotten!). Juliann played piano for us as people arrived, and the wine flowed freely. The usual wedding speeches were given.

In my speech, I acknowledged my cousin Kathy, and how much I missed her presence on that day (as always, but in particular). Our wedding anniversary is Kathy's birthday. Today, she would have been 35. I miss her presence in our lives as much now as I did then. Happy birthday, Kathy! I know you're out there somewhere, and I know that your love and friendship remain as much a part of my life today as they ever did. I honor you through our daughter, Tessa Katherine, and I know she serves your name well.

When we gave our vows, I meant every word. Like every new bride, I had only an inkling of what I meant - I knew that I was there through thick and thin but I didn't know what would be asked of me in the marriage. This year, our vows have been tested - the "in sickness and in health" part, anyway. I know we will pass these tests with flying colors, but the tests are rigorous.

I would marry Ryan again in a heartbeat if he asked me to. I do not for one moment regret that day on the beach - I consider it one of my happiest moments ever. I am a lucky woman!

Other anniversaries have been spent back at the Stephanie Inn, celebrating our happy day. Today, however, Ryan must go to work, and I must go to chemotherapy. In less than an hour my friend Michele will pick me up to take me to the oncologist's office, and I will have poison administered to my veins. I'm trying to repeat to myself what the oncologist told me - some people refer to Adriamycin as the red devil, but others call it the red angel. I pray that this red angel will be an angel of death to my cancer.

Today Susan L. will join me at my chemotherapy, and as much as I hate the circumstance, I am delighted to have her company and the scheduled girl time!

Another Susan, my new friend in Boston, is getting her first chemotherapy today. Our times will overlap - her first AC treatment and my last one will overlap by an hour or so. Susan McM. is, understandably, frightened and stressed at the prospect of chemo and all of its side effects, and she is in my thoughts and prayers today. Our mutual friend Gretchen - who is further down the road than Susan McM or I - is in my thoughts, too, as I know she's spending special wishes to Susan and I today as we endure the chemo we wish we didn't have to endure.

My new friend Katherine (whose name I love!) is also getting chemo today. She is nearing the end of 15 AC treatments, which, in my mind, makes her some kind of superhero. If you haven't done AC, then you have no idea what kind of strength it takes to make it to the chemo chair and force yourself to allow the nurses to inject you with AC after that many times. GO, Katherine, you can do it! And the party we have at the end will be FABULOUS...and well earned.

Today I know that I take the thoughts and wishes of many people, friends and family (and the best kind - family who are also friends) with me to chemo. That strengthens me.

Many, many thanks to my parents today for taking Tessa and having fun with her and letting her have her first sleepover at Grammy & Grandpa's. I know that she will have a blast, and if I feel okay then Ryan and I will actually get to go on a date for our anniversary. Hurrah! And if I don't feel okay, I won't worry about burdening Tessa with my illness, and I can take care of myself. Thank you, Mom & Dad!

Love to all - and happy anniversary to the man I love best.
Kristina