Coming out of my bad mood

Blogging is a very strange way to share one's life with people. At the touch of a button, I've notified who-knows-how-many people about my mood du jour. I'm never sure who exactly reads my blog - I don't have a counter or anything like that, and most people do not comment. I just know that I have lots of people reading it because every now and then somebody will say, "I already know about that - I read your blog." My life is public at this point, but I have no idea who my "public" is. Very surreal! I don't mind, really, or I'd stop the blog, but it is strange, none-the-less.

Yesterday I was in a bad mood, and I pouted online, I suppose. Thanks for listening. ;-) Today I'm doing much better.

This morning we went to co-op preschool, and although Tessa was INCREDIBLY clingy during the free play time (she never left the Play-Doh station, which I was in charge of) she sang, danced, and clapped through the music portion, and was in a great mood after that. Music comes after snack and I think she was hungry - she must be in a growth spurt, because after an adult sized oatmeal with raisens and milk for breakfast, and a big snack of Cheerios, she was hungry again at preschool. I guess I'll have to work on getting more food into her before preschool each time (and more protein, too).

Now Tessa is tucked into bed for her nap - although I hear her playing and so no nap is likely - and the dishwasher is going, the laundry is folded, and I can rest for a minute or two. After nap I think we'll try to take advantage of the great weather, as it's a perfect fall day: crisp and sunny. Maybe a trip to the park is in order. This week a housekeeper - thanks to the generousity of friends - came to clean our home, and that's such a relief - the kitchen (including fridge) is scrubbed, everything's dusted, the bathrooms are clean, and I don't have to deal with it. Hurrah!

I am feeling relatively healthy, but I'm still disgusted with the fact that I had to skip chemo. Usually I'm okay with dealing with all of this stuff, but it is more disheartening than I can say that I have to endure all this for another week. I'm tired of being bald, tired of having itchy eyes, tired of the metallic taste in my mouth, tired of taking handfuls of pills each day, tired of having to eat all the time or suffer the (nausea) consequences, tired of doctors appointments and finding childcare, and just plain tired. It's all worth it to get better, of course, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. And I do not.

I hope that you're doing well. Love to all!
Kristina