Hey, I just worked for 8 hours solid. That's new!
Well, I work hard almost all the time...but this time it was work in the traditional sense, not in the Mama homemaker sense.
Nice.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Worker bee writer girl
Today I am hard at work on the Hunts Point book. I'm making progress, and I've had some flow today - though I can feel my brain frying at this time, because I've been at it since about 9am and haven't taken a break.
I am a writer. I will write. Contributing to my family's bottom line is excellent, too...
In any case, I digress.
I've spent some time looking at the early history of Hunts Point, which of course begins with the local Native American tribes. The tribe that owned the land of Hunts Point was the Sammamish, which was then more or less assimilated into the Duwamish tribe as white settlers swept in and claimed ownership of the land that the United States Government granted them.
It's an awfully sad story, and one that has been told before.
What I wasn't expecting, as I played historian, was this passage:
Some Duwamishes did settle on the Muckleshoot [reservation]. In 1893 a large group, avoiding confinement, gathered on Ballast Island in Seattle after whites had burned them out of their homes in west Seattle.
A Guide to the Indian Tribes of the Pacific Northwest, Robert H. Ruby and John A. Brown, University of Oklahoma Press, c. 1992, p. 72
I love West Seattle. I love my home here. I am white.
I had nothing to do with the burnings mentioned, but as I read that passage, I felt deeply ashamed.
I do not understand the world we live in.
I am humbled by this passage, somehow. I am determined to live my life in a way somehow absolutely opposite of that passage.
No, the guilt does not belong to me - I wasn't born, and my ancestors weren't even involved (in that year, some were in Germany, and some were in England, and some were in Canada) in the remotest way to that passage.
I think that my shame is for the human race, that we allow such things to happen.
I am a writer. I will write. Contributing to my family's bottom line is excellent, too...
In any case, I digress.
I've spent some time looking at the early history of Hunts Point, which of course begins with the local Native American tribes. The tribe that owned the land of Hunts Point was the Sammamish, which was then more or less assimilated into the Duwamish tribe as white settlers swept in and claimed ownership of the land that the United States Government granted them.
It's an awfully sad story, and one that has been told before.
What I wasn't expecting, as I played historian, was this passage:
Some Duwamishes did settle on the Muckleshoot [reservation]. In 1893 a large group, avoiding confinement, gathered on Ballast Island in Seattle after whites had burned them out of their homes in west Seattle.
A Guide to the Indian Tribes of the Pacific Northwest, Robert H. Ruby and John A. Brown, University of Oklahoma Press, c. 1992, p. 72
I love West Seattle. I love my home here. I am white.
I had nothing to do with the burnings mentioned, but as I read that passage, I felt deeply ashamed.
I do not understand the world we live in.
I am humbled by this passage, somehow. I am determined to live my life in a way somehow absolutely opposite of that passage.
No, the guilt does not belong to me - I wasn't born, and my ancestors weren't even involved (in that year, some were in Germany, and some were in England, and some were in Canada) in the remotest way to that passage.
I think that my shame is for the human race, that we allow such things to happen.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Cough cough
Ahem. Ka kakaka.
That is the sound of me clearing my throat and coughing. Bah humbug. The cold that hit Tessa a couple weeks ago went to Ryan, and now it's solidly in me. Yuck.
We woke up to snow, so Tessa got to sleep in a bit before heading to school, as there was a two hour delayed start. I can't believe how much snow we've had this year! It feels crazy.
I have spent half the morning coughing, and the other half of the morning I've been working on getting a better rate on our mortgage. I think that we've settled on a lender, and we are really happy with the prospect of saving $200 per month. That is a lot of money! Especially, when you consider that it's "free" money - aside from a few hours of phone calls and paperwork, we will save $200/month for the next thirty years. (Actually, once we're debt free, we'd like to apply that to principle on the loan and pay off our house sooner, but that's just a dream right now.) If your house is above water (worth more than you paid for it) and you haven't examined refinancing in a while, this is a great time to refinance. I can't believe how low rates are; when we bought our house we thought we had a great rate, but it's much better now.
Speaking of our house, I'm trying to make our house nicer and nicer by getting rid of things. I'm reading about small houses, simplicity, living with less, and all kinds of related topics, with the goal of reducing the clutter around us and living with those things that are beautiful and useful, while getting rid of the rest.
For me, this becomes a bit of spiritual cleansing, as much as it is a physical cleaning. I can't work well in a cluttered space; I swear that I don't sleep as well with a basket of laundry in the room as I do in a tidy room. I'm going room by room and trying to organize drawers, clothes, closets, countertops, books, and bins. We figured out a good paperwork system (so far so good!), and we got the office into good working space with freed workspaces....and I'm really trying just to live my best life by doing these small tasks. This doesn't come easily to me, and I'm realizing that I'm more of a packrat than I previously thought. Still, uncluttered shelves soothe me more than having them overflowing with books....so I'm working on it.
My head is cluttered with the fogginess of not feeling well, so I'll end there. I'll be fine....just no fun for the moment.
That is the sound of me clearing my throat and coughing. Bah humbug. The cold that hit Tessa a couple weeks ago went to Ryan, and now it's solidly in me. Yuck.
We woke up to snow, so Tessa got to sleep in a bit before heading to school, as there was a two hour delayed start. I can't believe how much snow we've had this year! It feels crazy.
I have spent half the morning coughing, and the other half of the morning I've been working on getting a better rate on our mortgage. I think that we've settled on a lender, and we are really happy with the prospect of saving $200 per month. That is a lot of money! Especially, when you consider that it's "free" money - aside from a few hours of phone calls and paperwork, we will save $200/month for the next thirty years. (Actually, once we're debt free, we'd like to apply that to principle on the loan and pay off our house sooner, but that's just a dream right now.) If your house is above water (worth more than you paid for it) and you haven't examined refinancing in a while, this is a great time to refinance. I can't believe how low rates are; when we bought our house we thought we had a great rate, but it's much better now.
Speaking of our house, I'm trying to make our house nicer and nicer by getting rid of things. I'm reading about small houses, simplicity, living with less, and all kinds of related topics, with the goal of reducing the clutter around us and living with those things that are beautiful and useful, while getting rid of the rest.
For me, this becomes a bit of spiritual cleansing, as much as it is a physical cleaning. I can't work well in a cluttered space; I swear that I don't sleep as well with a basket of laundry in the room as I do in a tidy room. I'm going room by room and trying to organize drawers, clothes, closets, countertops, books, and bins. We figured out a good paperwork system (so far so good!), and we got the office into good working space with freed workspaces....and I'm really trying just to live my best life by doing these small tasks. This doesn't come easily to me, and I'm realizing that I'm more of a packrat than I previously thought. Still, uncluttered shelves soothe me more than having them overflowing with books....so I'm working on it.
My head is cluttered with the fogginess of not feeling well, so I'll end there. I'll be fine....just no fun for the moment.
Thursday
It is a winter wonderland outside - it snowed last night! There is an inch or so of snow everywhere, and school is delayed by two hours. I'm glad; Tessa was coughing last night and she was restless (which means that I was, too, as we can hear her from our room) and she's still sleeping now.
And I feel crummy as well - a slightly upset stomach and a scratchy throat and cough. Wah, wah, wah. We have plans to have a couple friends over for dinner (chicken curry) and then Michele, Lori and I are doing our regular writing group afterwards...I want to be "up" for that. Here's hoping that the morning scratchies don't get worse.
Yesterday, in addition to working on the Hunts Point book (momentum!), I started getting information about taking advantage of lower interest rates for our mortgage. It looks like we can refinance and save about $200 per month - wow! That is, essentially, free money and we're pretty excited about it. Our get-out-of-debt plan will go faster with an extra $200, and when we're out of debt we can apply an extra $200 to the principle of the loan and pay off the mortgage that much faster.
If anyone has a mortgage guy that the recommend, now's the time to send me info, because we hope to move forward in the next few days. We have a quote from our current lender that looks pretty good, but we're comparison shopping.
And many thanks to my Mom & Dad for a lovely dinner with them at their home last night....
And I feel crummy as well - a slightly upset stomach and a scratchy throat and cough. Wah, wah, wah. We have plans to have a couple friends over for dinner (chicken curry) and then Michele, Lori and I are doing our regular writing group afterwards...I want to be "up" for that. Here's hoping that the morning scratchies don't get worse.
Yesterday, in addition to working on the Hunts Point book (momentum!), I started getting information about taking advantage of lower interest rates for our mortgage. It looks like we can refinance and save about $200 per month - wow! That is, essentially, free money and we're pretty excited about it. Our get-out-of-debt plan will go faster with an extra $200, and when we're out of debt we can apply an extra $200 to the principle of the loan and pay off the mortgage that much faster.
If anyone has a mortgage guy that the recommend, now's the time to send me info, because we hope to move forward in the next few days. We have a quote from our current lender that looks pretty good, but we're comparison shopping.
And many thanks to my Mom & Dad for a lovely dinner with them at their home last night....
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Impulse shopping update
On a recent post about frugality, I noted that I had impulsively put some tortillas in my cart that were not on my grocery list. Tortillas are cheap, and it's a small problem, not a big one, but I wanted to update on it.
We didn't need tortillas. I didn't have a plan for using them.
Today I'm throwing them in the garbage (okay, the worm bin) as they are stale and unusable; we never even opened the package to eat one.
The few dollars that were spent on tortillas were not the end of the world. Still, there is a lesson. I don't want to be wasteful, and I ended up being wasteful with these. I wasted money, and I wasted a resource (the tortillas themselves, and the plastic bag that they came in).
Maybe by blogging this, next time I'm at the grocery store and see something that I don't need and don't have a plan to use, I will remember the tortillas thrown in the garbage, and I'll make a wiser decision.
Good for the earth, good for my body, good for my wallet. That's what we're aiming for!
We didn't need tortillas. I didn't have a plan for using them.
Today I'm throwing them in the garbage (okay, the worm bin) as they are stale and unusable; we never even opened the package to eat one.
The few dollars that were spent on tortillas were not the end of the world. Still, there is a lesson. I don't want to be wasteful, and I ended up being wasteful with these. I wasted money, and I wasted a resource (the tortillas themselves, and the plastic bag that they came in).
Maybe by blogging this, next time I'm at the grocery store and see something that I don't need and don't have a plan to use, I will remember the tortillas thrown in the garbage, and I'll make a wiser decision.
Good for the earth, good for my body, good for my wallet. That's what we're aiming for!
Tessa and reading
I'm not sure if I've updated on Tessa in a while, so here goes.
We have read to Tessa every day of her life since birth, pretty much. Reading is an important part of our family life, and we have stacks of books all over the house to prove it. Ryan and I both read in bed at night before going to sleep on most nights; Tessa gets bedtime stories every single night. We go to the library about once a week, and we have accounts at the used bookstores in West Seattle for trading in our old books and getting new ones.
Books are important to all three of us.
However, after kindergarten started, Tessa suddenly shut down her desire to read. She loved being read to as much as ever, and still gravitated towards books in her quiet times when she wanted a little space or down time, but she absolutely refused to read a single word at home. Slightly panicked, I called her teacher, and we had some long talks about adjustment to kindergarten, perfectionism (Tessa suffers a bit from this, unfortunately), brain development schedules, etc. We made a deal to lay off Tessa about reading at home, and to have her continue in kindergarten reading at her own pace.
She dropped down a level in her reading group.
My heart sunk a little (okay, a lot). I want to school to come easily to her - hey, life is easier if school is fun - and though I leave it to her to decide what is most important in her life, I really really want her to be a reader; it's a value that Ryan and I share and want to pass along.
She dug in her heels and refused to identify any words at all. Not even the ones we knew she knew.
More calls to the teacher. More reassurances. More sinking feelings.
Well, last week we went to the library and I picked out a couple of level 1 readers for her (as I always do) so that if she CHOSE to read, she'd have access to new material that might interest her. I would like to shout THANK YOU to the author of "Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa." It will come as no surprise that this is a book about a girl and her horse.
And Tessa started reading.
And she read until we had to tell her that she absolutely MUST stop so that she could go to sleep at night.
She made us promise to wake her up early so that she could read in the morning before school.
She started dancing and saying, "I love reading! I used to hate it, but now I love it!"
Joy, joy, joy!
Tessa has to labor over words; she has a good sized fistful of sight words, but she has to read each sound aloud and then try to put it together - a laborious process - to figure out each word. But she's doing it! She's really getting it! And what's more, suddenly she's enjoying it. She's realizing that she can learn about horses in her own way if she reads her own books; she's realizing that she can unlock all kinds of secrets if she can read.
Yippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I don't care if she's a straight A student (though, with a mother's pride, I suspect that she might become one). I don't care if she's the best reader in her class (she's not, by a long shot). I don't care about any of it....I just want her to love reading, and to find success at school.
Her teacher is pleased with her work, she's doing everything at grade level, and yesterday she brought home some written work that made me smile. Spelled out phonetically, she had written "We went to a wedding and it was fun and the food was good." It looked like "We wint to a wdin and it wz fn and the fud wz gd." I couldn't be more proud of my girl - she did all that on her own, and previous sentences she's written have had maybe 3-4 words instead of 10+. She's trying, and with her trying, I know she will find success.
Hallelujah!
We have read to Tessa every day of her life since birth, pretty much. Reading is an important part of our family life, and we have stacks of books all over the house to prove it. Ryan and I both read in bed at night before going to sleep on most nights; Tessa gets bedtime stories every single night. We go to the library about once a week, and we have accounts at the used bookstores in West Seattle for trading in our old books and getting new ones.
Books are important to all three of us.
However, after kindergarten started, Tessa suddenly shut down her desire to read. She loved being read to as much as ever, and still gravitated towards books in her quiet times when she wanted a little space or down time, but she absolutely refused to read a single word at home. Slightly panicked, I called her teacher, and we had some long talks about adjustment to kindergarten, perfectionism (Tessa suffers a bit from this, unfortunately), brain development schedules, etc. We made a deal to lay off Tessa about reading at home, and to have her continue in kindergarten reading at her own pace.
She dropped down a level in her reading group.
My heart sunk a little (okay, a lot). I want to school to come easily to her - hey, life is easier if school is fun - and though I leave it to her to decide what is most important in her life, I really really want her to be a reader; it's a value that Ryan and I share and want to pass along.
She dug in her heels and refused to identify any words at all. Not even the ones we knew she knew.
More calls to the teacher. More reassurances. More sinking feelings.
Well, last week we went to the library and I picked out a couple of level 1 readers for her (as I always do) so that if she CHOSE to read, she'd have access to new material that might interest her. I would like to shout THANK YOU to the author of "Cowgirl Kate and Cocoa." It will come as no surprise that this is a book about a girl and her horse.
And Tessa started reading.
And she read until we had to tell her that she absolutely MUST stop so that she could go to sleep at night.
She made us promise to wake her up early so that she could read in the morning before school.
She started dancing and saying, "I love reading! I used to hate it, but now I love it!"
Joy, joy, joy!
Tessa has to labor over words; she has a good sized fistful of sight words, but she has to read each sound aloud and then try to put it together - a laborious process - to figure out each word. But she's doing it! She's really getting it! And what's more, suddenly she's enjoying it. She's realizing that she can learn about horses in her own way if she reads her own books; she's realizing that she can unlock all kinds of secrets if she can read.
Yippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I don't care if she's a straight A student (though, with a mother's pride, I suspect that she might become one). I don't care if she's the best reader in her class (she's not, by a long shot). I don't care about any of it....I just want her to love reading, and to find success at school.
Her teacher is pleased with her work, she's doing everything at grade level, and yesterday she brought home some written work that made me smile. Spelled out phonetically, she had written "We went to a wedding and it was fun and the food was good." It looked like "We wint to a wdin and it wz fn and the fud wz gd." I couldn't be more proud of my girl - she did all that on her own, and previous sentences she's written have had maybe 3-4 words instead of 10+. She's trying, and with her trying, I know she will find success.
Hallelujah!
Balance
I am struggling to find balance.
Who isn't? If you're out there, and you're all perfectly balanced, I would like to talk to you and find out your secrets. Actually, pretty much everyone I know might be interested in talking to you and learning your secrets, because I think that most of us are struggling.
I'm struggling to balance:
- Alone time vs. family time vs. friend time
- Work vs. life
- Structure with Tessa vs. free play
- Healthy, delicious meals without a life spent in the kitchen
- Being frugal without being a skinflint
- Working out without making it the only thing I do for myself
- Having a clean house vs spending all my time cleaning
You get the picture. It is a constant struggle to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together in a way that makes sense.
I'm working on the Hunts Point book, and I am way, way behind on the project. It is important to me to do this project, and to do it well, but then I have volunteering, and friends in need of support, and grocery shopping, and yard work, and visitors, and fatigue, and physical therapy, and spending quality time with Tessa, and laundry and......well, let's just say it's a long, long list.
My friend Lori tells me that the secret of successful writers is butt glue. (I owe Tessa a quarter every time I say "butt." "Mommy, we say 'bottom' because it's more polite!" Yes, we do. Except when we're talking about butt glue. That's fifty cents now.) It's just a matter of carving out time and DOING IT.
That's what I'm doing now. I am going to make this happen.
First step: consistent schedule. So, I'm announcing that I am no longer available to do anything between 9am and 3pm on Mondays or Wednesdays, as those are my Hunts Point days. (The only exception will be for Tessa's early dismissal on some Wednesdays....can't have the six year old waiting on a bench for Mom for two hours.) I am making this a priority, announcing it to the world, and changing my calendar around to accommodate it. It's a priority because I'm making writing a priority, because I have a commitment to my employer, and because the money I earn will benefit my family greatly.
On Mondays and Wednesdays I will not do laundry, return calls, meet friends for lunch, go grocery shopping, etc. I am pretending that I'm locked away in an office building somewhere, unavailable because I'm in meetings. I'm still available to do other work on the other days of the week, of course, so hopefully this will be the balance I seek. I volunteer in Tessa's class on Thursdays, I have covenant group on Tuesdays and sometimes lunch with Grandma and Mom on Tuesdays. There will be enough hours for laundry etc. I will make this work.
I'm still trying to balance all of the other stuff. I will make it work. Working on it is the only way, and I won't reach instant solutions but I will find solutions.
Love,
Kristina
PS Ryan and I did a project to get our office in shape to make working more palatable. The book has a lot of paperwork, so I don't want to haul it all to coffee shops etc., and need to work from home. We moved things around, painted a wall, set up our bill paying etc. in the secretary upstairs, so that I can take over the downstairs office. It's got great light, a decent desk, etc., so now that it's all decluttered I don't have any excuses about having nowhere to work.
Who isn't? If you're out there, and you're all perfectly balanced, I would like to talk to you and find out your secrets. Actually, pretty much everyone I know might be interested in talking to you and learning your secrets, because I think that most of us are struggling.
I'm struggling to balance:
- Alone time vs. family time vs. friend time
- Work vs. life
- Structure with Tessa vs. free play
- Healthy, delicious meals without a life spent in the kitchen
- Being frugal without being a skinflint
- Working out without making it the only thing I do for myself
- Having a clean house vs spending all my time cleaning
You get the picture. It is a constant struggle to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together in a way that makes sense.
I'm working on the Hunts Point book, and I am way, way behind on the project. It is important to me to do this project, and to do it well, but then I have volunteering, and friends in need of support, and grocery shopping, and yard work, and visitors, and fatigue, and physical therapy, and spending quality time with Tessa, and laundry and......well, let's just say it's a long, long list.
My friend Lori tells me that the secret of successful writers is butt glue. (I owe Tessa a quarter every time I say "butt." "Mommy, we say 'bottom' because it's more polite!" Yes, we do. Except when we're talking about butt glue. That's fifty cents now.) It's just a matter of carving out time and DOING IT.
That's what I'm doing now. I am going to make this happen.
First step: consistent schedule. So, I'm announcing that I am no longer available to do anything between 9am and 3pm on Mondays or Wednesdays, as those are my Hunts Point days. (The only exception will be for Tessa's early dismissal on some Wednesdays....can't have the six year old waiting on a bench for Mom for two hours.) I am making this a priority, announcing it to the world, and changing my calendar around to accommodate it. It's a priority because I'm making writing a priority, because I have a commitment to my employer, and because the money I earn will benefit my family greatly.
On Mondays and Wednesdays I will not do laundry, return calls, meet friends for lunch, go grocery shopping, etc. I am pretending that I'm locked away in an office building somewhere, unavailable because I'm in meetings. I'm still available to do other work on the other days of the week, of course, so hopefully this will be the balance I seek. I volunteer in Tessa's class on Thursdays, I have covenant group on Tuesdays and sometimes lunch with Grandma and Mom on Tuesdays. There will be enough hours for laundry etc. I will make this work.
I'm still trying to balance all of the other stuff. I will make it work. Working on it is the only way, and I won't reach instant solutions but I will find solutions.
Love,
Kristina
PS Ryan and I did a project to get our office in shape to make working more palatable. The book has a lot of paperwork, so I don't want to haul it all to coffee shops etc., and need to work from home. We moved things around, painted a wall, set up our bill paying etc. in the secretary upstairs, so that I can take over the downstairs office. It's got great light, a decent desk, etc., so now that it's all decluttered I don't have any excuses about having nowhere to work.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Quiet
Recently a friend forwarded me an article by William Deresiewicz entitled "The End of Solitude" (published in The Chronicle, January 30, 2009 for those who wish to look it up) about how in our hyper-connected society we have lost our ability to be alone with ourselves. We are so social, it argues, that we no longer find those moments in which to seek the deepest of ourselves. If you have 542 friends on Facebook, it can be argued, maybe you have no friends at all.
I'm pretty guilty of this crime myself, of course. But I have realized that as I age I am less and less interested in large social gatherings, more and more interested in small groups where everyone can talk together all at once. And I confess that I am "friends" with people on Facebook whom I can hardly remember, but in my own defense, I think that I last logged on to Facebook a week ago; it has lost its attraction quickly.
I'm becoming quite the Luddite. Or Amish. Or an outsider. I'm not yet sure what the label is; I've been a granola girl for a while, but that doesn't quite suit me either because despite my lack of make up and professional hair styling or products, I still like to wear dresses and heels sometimes, and I usually have painted toenails in colors named "Hoodoo Voodoo" or "Aphrodite's Pink Nightie" or, my favorite, "I'm Not Really A Waitress." I'm pretty certain that no real granola girl would participate in such activities.
But whatever my label, I'm falling out of love with society at large even as I feel more connected to it. That is, I am reading more and more books, and exploring spirituality and my own psyche, and listening to podcasts on human nature and science and religion and anecdotes and fiction....so I feel connected. But I feel my own little world shrinking slightly, as I become more introverted.
I need social connections, even as I find myself growing and making food from scratch, and curling up on my couch with a mug of hot tea, and playing Go Fish with Tessa.
It's a contradiction that doesn't yet make sense to me, but I'm enjoying the process of sorting it out.
Reading, gardening, writing, cooking are all solitary pursuits. I love my friends, and my time with them, as much as ever, but I do feel myself changing, becoming more of a homebody.
Except when I ride a bus to the art museum, or visit at the social hour at church, or chat with moms on the playground.
My head is foggy on this subject, and my writing is even more jumbled than usual as a result....but the thoughts are there.
I'm pretty guilty of this crime myself, of course. But I have realized that as I age I am less and less interested in large social gatherings, more and more interested in small groups where everyone can talk together all at once. And I confess that I am "friends" with people on Facebook whom I can hardly remember, but in my own defense, I think that I last logged on to Facebook a week ago; it has lost its attraction quickly.
I'm becoming quite the Luddite. Or Amish. Or an outsider. I'm not yet sure what the label is; I've been a granola girl for a while, but that doesn't quite suit me either because despite my lack of make up and professional hair styling or products, I still like to wear dresses and heels sometimes, and I usually have painted toenails in colors named "Hoodoo Voodoo" or "Aphrodite's Pink Nightie" or, my favorite, "I'm Not Really A Waitress." I'm pretty certain that no real granola girl would participate in such activities.
But whatever my label, I'm falling out of love with society at large even as I feel more connected to it. That is, I am reading more and more books, and exploring spirituality and my own psyche, and listening to podcasts on human nature and science and religion and anecdotes and fiction....so I feel connected. But I feel my own little world shrinking slightly, as I become more introverted.
I need social connections, even as I find myself growing and making food from scratch, and curling up on my couch with a mug of hot tea, and playing Go Fish with Tessa.
It's a contradiction that doesn't yet make sense to me, but I'm enjoying the process of sorting it out.
Reading, gardening, writing, cooking are all solitary pursuits. I love my friends, and my time with them, as much as ever, but I do feel myself changing, becoming more of a homebody.
Except when I ride a bus to the art museum, or visit at the social hour at church, or chat with moms on the playground.
My head is foggy on this subject, and my writing is even more jumbled than usual as a result....but the thoughts are there.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Yikes!
An ad just came on the radio saying "This year many of your children will be exposed to heroin, crack cocaine...." and etc. etc. etc.
YIKES!
It made me want to run to kindergarten to scoop up my long legged daughter, smooth her flowered headband over her hair, and hug her to death.
Because in the past few years there have been a lot of prescription drugs in our house we've actually talked a lot about drugs, and how if you take them when you're not sick they can make you sick, and how sometimes they make your head feel funny and how they're dangerous.
I can't believe that in today's society I am supposed to talk about this kind of thing with a six year old. I do, but I can't believe it.
Thank God I'm not actually worried about it day to day. I'm more worried about whether she'll ever learn to love math, whether her attitude phase will last long, what size summer sandals she will need.
What a crazy world we live in.
YIKES!
It made me want to run to kindergarten to scoop up my long legged daughter, smooth her flowered headband over her hair, and hug her to death.
Because in the past few years there have been a lot of prescription drugs in our house we've actually talked a lot about drugs, and how if you take them when you're not sick they can make you sick, and how sometimes they make your head feel funny and how they're dangerous.
I can't believe that in today's society I am supposed to talk about this kind of thing with a six year old. I do, but I can't believe it.
Thank God I'm not actually worried about it day to day. I'm more worried about whether she'll ever learn to love math, whether her attitude phase will last long, what size summer sandals she will need.
What a crazy world we live in.
Couldn't be more timely - Zometa news
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/12/health/research/12bone.html?_r=2
"Zometa May Help Prevent Bone Metastases"
Given that I didn't exactly enjoy my last (first, actually) infusion, it lifts my spirits to think that I really have done something positive in my treatment, and that the science continues to back that.
And the surprising result of his study, if it holds up, indicates that zoledronic acid could add a benefit to existing breast cancer therapy that is nearly the same magnitude as the benefit conferred by chemotherapy or hormonal therapy alone.
But Dr. Gnant urges caution.
“While everyone is very excited, we still need to be conservative about what we recommend to patients,” he said. “In clinical science we do clinical trials. I am still hesitating to say, ‘Well, this is good for everyone.’ In the history of science we sometimes extrapolated and turned out to be absolutely wrong.”
“The right way to proceed,” Dr. Gnant said, “is to wait for data to come in from other studies.”
The problem with waiting, as a breast cancer patient, is that we don't have time to wait. I have osteopenia NOW; I may have osteoporosis (scheduling my DEXA scan soon to find out). What's more, I'm terrified of metastases. TERRIFED.
I've done a lot of treatment "off label" (taking a drug approved by the FDA for one patient group or disease, and using it for another). AIs are proven for post menopausal women....older than I am. Herceptin was approved for metastatic women only when I took it (and was since approved for node-positive non-metastatic women like myself). I can take this drug for it's bone building benefits, which I want and need, but I need to stay cancer free even more.
"Zometa May Help Prevent Bone Metastases"
Given that I didn't exactly enjoy my last (first, actually) infusion, it lifts my spirits to think that I really have done something positive in my treatment, and that the science continues to back that.
And the surprising result of his study, if it holds up, indicates that zoledronic acid could add a benefit to existing breast cancer therapy that is nearly the same magnitude as the benefit conferred by chemotherapy or hormonal therapy alone.
But Dr. Gnant urges caution.
“While everyone is very excited, we still need to be conservative about what we recommend to patients,” he said. “In clinical science we do clinical trials. I am still hesitating to say, ‘Well, this is good for everyone.’ In the history of science we sometimes extrapolated and turned out to be absolutely wrong.”
“The right way to proceed,” Dr. Gnant said, “is to wait for data to come in from other studies.”
The problem with waiting, as a breast cancer patient, is that we don't have time to wait. I have osteopenia NOW; I may have osteoporosis (scheduling my DEXA scan soon to find out). What's more, I'm terrified of metastases. TERRIFED.
I've done a lot of treatment "off label" (taking a drug approved by the FDA for one patient group or disease, and using it for another). AIs are proven for post menopausal women....older than I am. Herceptin was approved for metastatic women only when I took it (and was since approved for node-positive non-metastatic women like myself). I can take this drug for it's bone building benefits, which I want and need, but I need to stay cancer free even more.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sick kid, day two
Well, here we are. Tessa's coughing up a storm, and we woke up at 5am to the words "Daddy, can I have a throat lozenge?" (Good girl. You know Mama's not so good with the early morning thing.)
She's okay, but we're keeping her home one more day. Maybe we can get thank yous - overdue from Christmas AND birthday - done today. Ryan is working from home this morning to help me out; yesterday I canceled my PT appt but I really didn't want to cancel my dentist appointment today, so he's covering for me.
(Dentist....sigh. Mouth open for an hour with horrible drill things.....they're replacing a filling and doing some other things I don't want to think about.)
She's okay, but we're keeping her home one more day. Maybe we can get thank yous - overdue from Christmas AND birthday - done today. Ryan is working from home this morning to help me out; yesterday I canceled my PT appt but I really didn't want to cancel my dentist appointment today, so he's covering for me.
(Dentist....sigh. Mouth open for an hour with horrible drill things.....they're replacing a filling and doing some other things I don't want to think about.)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Fresh and frugal
Tonight's dinner is "Spicy Sweet and Sour Chicken" from Cooking Light's current issue (this is my only magazine subscription these days, and I use it a lot). The ingredients aren't TOO spicy - let's hope that Tessa will still eat it!
I'm pleased with this recipe choice because, given that I have a well stocked pantry, it uses almost all ingredients on hand; I just had to buy chicken (a good deal at Trader Joe's for organic), and a can of pineapple (I'd rather buy fresh but that's where the budget came in). Because I cook a lot, I already had soy sauce, Chinese rice wine, garlic, ginger (I store mine in the freezer), ketchup, rice vinegar, chile paste, sesame oil in the pantry, and I always have onions on hand. The recipe calls for diced green and red peppers, as well as green onions, but I'm substituting frozen (Trader Joe's again) green beans and fresh parsley instead.
So, rice (brown, organic, from the bulk section) is in the rice cooker, and the chicken is marinating, and the sauce is prepped. When Ryan gets home, I'll just stir fry it all in the wok for a few minutes, and dinner will be ready.
And for the record....I'm beat! Being A Good Mom today took it all out of me. Maybe tomorrow I can be selfish. ;-) Oh, wait, tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. Ah, crap. Well, another time then.
I'm pleased with this recipe choice because, given that I have a well stocked pantry, it uses almost all ingredients on hand; I just had to buy chicken (a good deal at Trader Joe's for organic), and a can of pineapple (I'd rather buy fresh but that's where the budget came in). Because I cook a lot, I already had soy sauce, Chinese rice wine, garlic, ginger (I store mine in the freezer), ketchup, rice vinegar, chile paste, sesame oil in the pantry, and I always have onions on hand. The recipe calls for diced green and red peppers, as well as green onions, but I'm substituting frozen (Trader Joe's again) green beans and fresh parsley instead.
So, rice (brown, organic, from the bulk section) is in the rice cooker, and the chicken is marinating, and the sauce is prepped. When Ryan gets home, I'll just stir fry it all in the wok for a few minutes, and dinner will be ready.
And for the record....I'm beat! Being A Good Mom today took it all out of me. Maybe tomorrow I can be selfish. ;-) Oh, wait, tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. Ah, crap. Well, another time then.
Cookies
We disinvited PEPS, but Tessa and I have spent the day celebrating Valentine's. I wouldn't let Tessa help with the cookie making or the cookies to share because of her cough (ewwww!) but she got to decorate her own super-sized cookie, and she continued addressing her classmates' Valentine's as I rolled and cut and baked and frosted.
All the while, it is snowing outside. What the heck?! It is a very wet snow - it's not even freezing out, but everything is, indeed, turning white. I'm told by the forecasters that it will turn to rain this evening.
Lemonade
Well, Tessa's home sick with a cold, and that's the lemon of it. The lemonade part is that we used this opportunity to make Valentine's together.
Next, she has to write the names of her classmates and friends on them......this is an all day event, perhaps.
It could be worse. MUCH worse. I am grateful for today.
Edited to add:
Tessa is sitting at the kitchen table, carefully going over the list of her classmates and hand choosing each Valentine for them before laboriously writing To: classmate (heart): Tessa on each one. Now that we're in the thick of it, I'm wondering how on earth I thought we could get this done WITHOUT a day at home! This morning I made cookie dough (we were supposed to have PEPS over today and I'd promised Valentine cookies), breakfast, etc., but since then we've been doing the Valentine's non-stop. I cut out the hearts (I didn't count them, but as there are 26 in Tessa's class, and we did a minimum of three hearts per card, well, you get the idea...), Tessa arranged and glued them, and of course she's doing the writing. She has ideas about which ones boys would like ("Boys like blue, Mom, and not so much pink," she tells me), and who would like which patterns.
This is a lot more work than going to Target and buying the Valentine pack like we have done in the past, but infinitely more enjoyable. This year we had all of the supplies on hand, too, so this year it's "free" but we did use up several glue sticks and all of our fancy paper so I don't know if I'd recommend it as a budget activity. The construction paper is cheap, but it's so much more fun with the fancy papers with embossing or printed with flowers or lined with sparkles, etc.
Today, I missed covenant group, physical therapy, and our PEPS Valentine's gathering. Still, it seems like a good day. Tessa sniffles nonstop and occassionally lets out a big cough, but she's happy enough. I cleaned the house quite a bit yesterday, so it's relatively pleasant to be here, and less cluttered than usual. (Hey, I thought PEPS was coming....maybe if I had them over more often I'd do a deeper cleaning more often!)
I'm coming out of my frugal funk. To do so, I listened to more Dave Ramsey podcasts, as well as the Debt Free podcast. I cleaned the house, moving some things around and getting rid of some things, so that it feels fresher. (What IS it about Goddard* women and moving furniture? My mom does the same thing, and whenever we're in a funk about something we move furniture around and feel much better. Strange, I know.) I made a great chicken noodle soup last night in honor of Tessa's cold, and my family didn't notice how little chicken was in it compared to the quantity of veggies and noodles. I saved the chicken bones in the freezer for making a stock the next time, and felt pleased with myself for remembering to do so. Last night, Ryan and I watched "Juno" on DVD, borrowed from the library, and had an at-home date night. (Am I the last person in America to see it? It was as good as I'd been told.) I made bread and granola, so the house smells good.
I read poetry. (Nikki Giovanni's "Bicycles" collection.) Yesterday I did yoga (another library DVD). I put a new library book by Sherman Alexie next to my bed (but didn't read it because I fell asleep!).
So with all that, I distracted myself out of my funk....somewhat. I guess it helps today to be home with a sick kid - I'm not even tempted to go out and buy anything. ;-)
Though I would love to get out for a walk/run with the dog, and touch me feet onto the beach. That would help, too.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3
Tessa is testing my patience lately. She's got Attitude with a capital A. She has decided not to follow through until I yell.....and I don't want to yell. I even say to her, "Do you want me to yell? How come you only listen when I yell?" (Note here; I don't mean screaming at my kiddo. I mean speaking in a louder-than-usual voice with a stern tone.)
So she says, "I'll do it" and then she spaces out. And then I speak loudly/yell at her and THEN she does whatever it is.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
This is not the parenting plan I'd been planning on.
My last post was done during some down time. You can see how many times Tessa interrupted me just by reading the disjointedness of the whole thing.
Anyway.
I know testing is a part of childhood. She's doing well in school, thankfully, and her teacher mostly says she's an "easy" child to have in the classroom. But at home, well, it's a test of my patience, if nothing else.
I can learn patience. I'm sure of it!
I hope so, anyway.
So she says, "I'll do it" and then she spaces out. And then I speak loudly/yell at her and THEN she does whatever it is.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
This is not the parenting plan I'd been planning on.
My last post was done during some down time. You can see how many times Tessa interrupted me just by reading the disjointedness of the whole thing.
Anyway.
I know testing is a part of childhood. She's doing well in school, thankfully, and her teacher mostly says she's an "easy" child to have in the classroom. But at home, well, it's a test of my patience, if nothing else.
I can learn patience. I'm sure of it!
I hope so, anyway.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Frugal thoughts
I am trying very hard to think frugally, act frugally, be frugal.
Bah humbug.
"Frugal" isn't exactly the life of the party, you know? For all of my desire to adapt frugality as a part of my lifestyle, I'm under no delusions. Frugal is not a synonym for fun.
I want to believe that it's worth it. Today, it's not feeling worth it. Today, it's irritating, at best. I was at the West Side Baby fundraiser tea, and I was mad that I couldn't donate a nice chunk of money. That is a ridiculous thing to get mad out, seeing as how I could have been thinking "I am so grateful to have food for my family and how we do not lack for basics." THAT would have been a more mature, and appropriate, response.
And we're watching our grocery money. And struggling to figure out gifts, etc. Bah humbug!
But I'm committed. I really am, even on the difficult days. Apparently the honeymoon phase is over because I'm thinking "two more years of THIS?!"
Yes. Two more years, and then we'll be free to live less frugally and still get ahead.
Yes.
My notes are not valid for too many people in the world, not because people have their finances figured out but, to the contrary, too many people in the world live in poverty. I am trying to remember that my form of "broke" is others' form of greatest wealth: my baby never sat in a dirty diaper because we were out of diapers; we have never missed a meal due to scarcity; we live in a warm, comfortable home filled to the rafters with amenities and comforts. Plus, we have easy access to clean air and water, safe streets, libraries. We have excellent medical care.
I don't delude myself into thinking I'm poor. And my notes don't apply to poor people, who cut corners WAY past the point I'm naming here. But maybe they'll help some other folks who are struggling to make ends meet in the middle class.
So here are a few thoughts on maintaining frugality:
- Cook from scratch. In this way, you get healthy food much cheaper. Chicken stock is made from chicken bones, vegetable scraps, carrots and onions. No waste, no packaging. Spaghetti sauce, granola, bread, stirfries, sandwiches...all are cheaper if you make them yourself.
- Turn down your heat; turn off lights as you leave the room. In last year's rising energy costs, by lowering our heat, our bill actually went DOWN by 15% even as others' bills were rising.
- Stay out of stores. Really. When I go shopping I'm as tempted as the next person, trust me. Every time I go shopping, I put something in my cart that I don't need. (Last time it was tortillas, which we will use but I don't have a plan for....which is pretty good as impulse shopping goes. When it's a new outfit, or a nice bottle of wine, it's spendier.) When I go into stores, I get messages that say "buy, buy, buy!" It's amazing to me how little I think about wanting particular items until I go into a store.
- Set your budget and don't deviate. This might seem obvious, but it takes some real discipline. Today, knowing that the WSBaby folks would have a very good reason why I should donate more, I wrote out my check in advance, based on what I could afford and NOT what I wanted to donate.
- Pay cash. I have read this in SO many places (including Dave Ramsey, Your Money or Your Life, and others), and it's true. Debit cards have a way of making us forget it's real money; we're not told how much money is left until payday each time we buy a latte and a croissant. But when you open your wallet (or your cash envelope), you can't help but face the truth.
- Call around to see if you're getting the best deal on your auto and home insurance. I couldn't believe how much we saved on comparable policies - when we'd purchased the policies they were economical, but over time they'd become less so.
- Same for phone service: call around. We ended up going with Vonage: for $25/month we get our long distance, caller ID, call waiting, etc. The quality of the connection is not perfect - sometimes it is great but often the quality is spotty. We're getting used to it, and I don't regret the switch. (One note: cable phone companies like Vonage operate on different systems than the "regular" phone companies. Our Qwest package was only $25 per month, too, but it had a lot of taxes and fees so it was closer to $40/month, even without long distance. With Vonage, there are no taxes and fees, and long distance is included.)
- Stock up on items when they go on sale. I try to buy most things fresh and make things from scratch, but despite my best intentions I do need to buy chicken stock, or canned tomatoes, etc. Now I only buy them on sale, but keep extras in the pantry.
- Improvise. Today our coffee pot broke. (Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!) We immediately started looking up new ones on the 'net, but then we realized that we'd rather buy a really nice one and find it on sale, and we need to do research and shop around. We remembered that we have two small french press coffee makers, and we'll use those in the interim.
- Borrow, and lend too, of course. (Not money, stuff!) When we dug our garden last year, we didn't have a pitchfork. We borrowed one. Yesterday we loaned a neighbor a dish in a size she didn't own. It's ridiculous to think that we should have one of everything when we use these things so infrequently. Be a good neighbor: loan out your things, and borrow others, returning them promptly and in good condition.
- Don't use disposable anything: paper plates, paper napkins, paper towels, paper cups, plastic forks, one-use water bottles, etc. You are paying not only for their use, but for the privlege of throwing them away.....and you have other things you could use instead. Have old fashioned picnics with your own dishware. Use rags. Individually, these items don't cost much....but add up their usage over a year....
- Use the library for entertainment. You can get movies and CDs in addition to books, all for free. You can also go to lectures, or see free concerts or children's programs.
- Go outside. Walk around your neighborhood and talk to neighbors. Go to the beach. Walk in the woods. Snowshoe. Watch the sun set. Work in a garden. Play in a park. Visit a botanical garden. Go for a romantic walk under the stars. Run along the boardwalk. Sit at a pond and feed the ducks. Go on a puddle stomp. Picnic. Sit on your deck for your morning coffee. All free, or close to it, and all lovely.
- Speaking of coffee.....make it at home, and take it with you in your stainless cup. Calculate how much you pay for your home made latte, and then how much you pay for one at a shop. (My apologies to C&P for this one - you know I love you and your coffee!) My personal rule has become that I only go to coffee shops as a destination where I intend to hang out, where I'm paying more for the ambience than the coffee (and the coffee is just a nice bonus).
- Set a budget for eating out and stick to it. Often at church we like to go to Elliott Bay Brewery with friends; we didn't want to give up this lovely, fun, social activity on our budget. Instead, we created a per-person budget for the meal that allows us to have the meal we all enjoy so much without breaking the bank. (This means no drinks - we all drink water, and that saves some empty calories as well as some cash.)
- Or....instead of going out for a meal with friends, go out to Happy Hour, or meet for coffee instead of a meal, or dessert, or a glass of wine. Being social outside your home doesn't mean you need to spend a ton of money.
- Fix what you have instead of replacing it. (I have a crock pot on the fritz; I'm going to figure out if the local "small appliance repair" can attend to it without me spending a fortune...)
- Figure out activities you love and buy an annual pass for them. For me, this is the Seattle Art Museum. I get so much benefit from my membership, because I LOVE going there. My membership pays for itself many times over because of the frequency with which I use it. (We usually are members at the zoo and aquarium, too, but with Tessa in school we aren't going as much and our membership has lapsed....)
- Stick to classic clothing instead of trendy items. I don't think I'll ever regret my long black coat, but that orange blazer that seemed so fun isn't exactly getting a lot of wear.
- Podcasts. I LOVE listening to Podcasts on my iPod. I regularly listen to The Dave Ramsey Show to inspire me to keep on the frugal/debt reduction path, even though his personality drives me nuts. For fun, I listen to This American Life, the CBC program On Writing, The Moth, and others. I stay up to date with President Obama's weekly radio address, and the NPR Story of the Day. I use guided meditations from the Australian Meditation Society. I catch up on missed church services with their podcasts, too. The possibilities are endless, and when you're bored with one podcast there are zillions of others to choose from.....and they are FREE!
- Did I mention "stay out of stores"? This is so, so true. Worth repeating. I forget how tempted I am when the temptation is removed from right in front of me.
- Practice the rule "no impulse shopping." When you just HAVE to have it, don't tell yourself "no." Instead, say, "In (x) days, if I still want it, I will check out my budget and make it happen." If it really was important to you, perhaps it's worth working into your budget, and then you really can go buy it. But odds are, three days later, you'll have completely forgotten what it was, let alone how much you wanted it. Tessa and I remind one another, "No impulse shopping!" and I can't believe how much money this policy saves me, without feeling deprived.
- Skip the wine. (Sigh.) It is better for your health, and for your pocketbook.
- Thrift stores. My "new" Kate Spade purse (okay, it's probably a knock-off) gets me tons of compliments and it was $10. I found Tessa some slim cut Gap jeans in her size for $1, too. You can get useful, practical items for pennies on the dollar.
I'm running out of steam to write this, so I'll stop there. I write as much to remind myself as others....I am committed to this idea. I will not give up because I am determined to live a debt free life. Determined.
Bah humbug.
"Frugal" isn't exactly the life of the party, you know? For all of my desire to adapt frugality as a part of my lifestyle, I'm under no delusions. Frugal is not a synonym for fun.
I want to believe that it's worth it. Today, it's not feeling worth it. Today, it's irritating, at best. I was at the West Side Baby fundraiser tea, and I was mad that I couldn't donate a nice chunk of money. That is a ridiculous thing to get mad out, seeing as how I could have been thinking "I am so grateful to have food for my family and how we do not lack for basics." THAT would have been a more mature, and appropriate, response.
And we're watching our grocery money. And struggling to figure out gifts, etc. Bah humbug!
But I'm committed. I really am, even on the difficult days. Apparently the honeymoon phase is over because I'm thinking "two more years of THIS?!"
Yes. Two more years, and then we'll be free to live less frugally and still get ahead.
Yes.
My notes are not valid for too many people in the world, not because people have their finances figured out but, to the contrary, too many people in the world live in poverty. I am trying to remember that my form of "broke" is others' form of greatest wealth: my baby never sat in a dirty diaper because we were out of diapers; we have never missed a meal due to scarcity; we live in a warm, comfortable home filled to the rafters with amenities and comforts. Plus, we have easy access to clean air and water, safe streets, libraries. We have excellent medical care.
I don't delude myself into thinking I'm poor. And my notes don't apply to poor people, who cut corners WAY past the point I'm naming here. But maybe they'll help some other folks who are struggling to make ends meet in the middle class.
So here are a few thoughts on maintaining frugality:
- Cook from scratch. In this way, you get healthy food much cheaper. Chicken stock is made from chicken bones, vegetable scraps, carrots and onions. No waste, no packaging. Spaghetti sauce, granola, bread, stirfries, sandwiches...all are cheaper if you make them yourself.
- Turn down your heat; turn off lights as you leave the room. In last year's rising energy costs, by lowering our heat, our bill actually went DOWN by 15% even as others' bills were rising.
- Stay out of stores. Really. When I go shopping I'm as tempted as the next person, trust me. Every time I go shopping, I put something in my cart that I don't need. (Last time it was tortillas, which we will use but I don't have a plan for....which is pretty good as impulse shopping goes. When it's a new outfit, or a nice bottle of wine, it's spendier.) When I go into stores, I get messages that say "buy, buy, buy!" It's amazing to me how little I think about wanting particular items until I go into a store.
- Set your budget and don't deviate. This might seem obvious, but it takes some real discipline. Today, knowing that the WSBaby folks would have a very good reason why I should donate more, I wrote out my check in advance, based on what I could afford and NOT what I wanted to donate.
- Pay cash. I have read this in SO many places (including Dave Ramsey, Your Money or Your Life, and others), and it's true. Debit cards have a way of making us forget it's real money; we're not told how much money is left until payday each time we buy a latte and a croissant. But when you open your wallet (or your cash envelope), you can't help but face the truth.
- Call around to see if you're getting the best deal on your auto and home insurance. I couldn't believe how much we saved on comparable policies - when we'd purchased the policies they were economical, but over time they'd become less so.
- Same for phone service: call around. We ended up going with Vonage: for $25/month we get our long distance, caller ID, call waiting, etc. The quality of the connection is not perfect - sometimes it is great but often the quality is spotty. We're getting used to it, and I don't regret the switch. (One note: cable phone companies like Vonage operate on different systems than the "regular" phone companies. Our Qwest package was only $25 per month, too, but it had a lot of taxes and fees so it was closer to $40/month, even without long distance. With Vonage, there are no taxes and fees, and long distance is included.)
- Stock up on items when they go on sale. I try to buy most things fresh and make things from scratch, but despite my best intentions I do need to buy chicken stock, or canned tomatoes, etc. Now I only buy them on sale, but keep extras in the pantry.
- Improvise. Today our coffee pot broke. (Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!) We immediately started looking up new ones on the 'net, but then we realized that we'd rather buy a really nice one and find it on sale, and we need to do research and shop around. We remembered that we have two small french press coffee makers, and we'll use those in the interim.
- Borrow, and lend too, of course. (Not money, stuff!) When we dug our garden last year, we didn't have a pitchfork. We borrowed one. Yesterday we loaned a neighbor a dish in a size she didn't own. It's ridiculous to think that we should have one of everything when we use these things so infrequently. Be a good neighbor: loan out your things, and borrow others, returning them promptly and in good condition.
- Don't use disposable anything: paper plates, paper napkins, paper towels, paper cups, plastic forks, one-use water bottles, etc. You are paying not only for their use, but for the privlege of throwing them away.....and you have other things you could use instead. Have old fashioned picnics with your own dishware. Use rags. Individually, these items don't cost much....but add up their usage over a year....
- Use the library for entertainment. You can get movies and CDs in addition to books, all for free. You can also go to lectures, or see free concerts or children's programs.
- Go outside. Walk around your neighborhood and talk to neighbors. Go to the beach. Walk in the woods. Snowshoe. Watch the sun set. Work in a garden. Play in a park. Visit a botanical garden. Go for a romantic walk under the stars. Run along the boardwalk. Sit at a pond and feed the ducks. Go on a puddle stomp. Picnic. Sit on your deck for your morning coffee. All free, or close to it, and all lovely.
- Speaking of coffee.....make it at home, and take it with you in your stainless cup. Calculate how much you pay for your home made latte, and then how much you pay for one at a shop. (My apologies to C&P for this one - you know I love you and your coffee!) My personal rule has become that I only go to coffee shops as a destination where I intend to hang out, where I'm paying more for the ambience than the coffee (and the coffee is just a nice bonus).
- Set a budget for eating out and stick to it. Often at church we like to go to Elliott Bay Brewery with friends; we didn't want to give up this lovely, fun, social activity on our budget. Instead, we created a per-person budget for the meal that allows us to have the meal we all enjoy so much without breaking the bank. (This means no drinks - we all drink water, and that saves some empty calories as well as some cash.)
- Or....instead of going out for a meal with friends, go out to Happy Hour, or meet for coffee instead of a meal, or dessert, or a glass of wine. Being social outside your home doesn't mean you need to spend a ton of money.
- Fix what you have instead of replacing it. (I have a crock pot on the fritz; I'm going to figure out if the local "small appliance repair" can attend to it without me spending a fortune...)
- Figure out activities you love and buy an annual pass for them. For me, this is the Seattle Art Museum. I get so much benefit from my membership, because I LOVE going there. My membership pays for itself many times over because of the frequency with which I use it. (We usually are members at the zoo and aquarium, too, but with Tessa in school we aren't going as much and our membership has lapsed....)
- Stick to classic clothing instead of trendy items. I don't think I'll ever regret my long black coat, but that orange blazer that seemed so fun isn't exactly getting a lot of wear.
- Podcasts. I LOVE listening to Podcasts on my iPod. I regularly listen to The Dave Ramsey Show to inspire me to keep on the frugal/debt reduction path, even though his personality drives me nuts. For fun, I listen to This American Life, the CBC program On Writing, The Moth, and others. I stay up to date with President Obama's weekly radio address, and the NPR Story of the Day. I use guided meditations from the Australian Meditation Society. I catch up on missed church services with their podcasts, too. The possibilities are endless, and when you're bored with one podcast there are zillions of others to choose from.....and they are FREE!
- Did I mention "stay out of stores"? This is so, so true. Worth repeating. I forget how tempted I am when the temptation is removed from right in front of me.
- Practice the rule "no impulse shopping." When you just HAVE to have it, don't tell yourself "no." Instead, say, "In (x) days, if I still want it, I will check out my budget and make it happen." If it really was important to you, perhaps it's worth working into your budget, and then you really can go buy it. But odds are, three days later, you'll have completely forgotten what it was, let alone how much you wanted it. Tessa and I remind one another, "No impulse shopping!" and I can't believe how much money this policy saves me, without feeling deprived.
- Skip the wine. (Sigh.) It is better for your health, and for your pocketbook.
- Thrift stores. My "new" Kate Spade purse (okay, it's probably a knock-off) gets me tons of compliments and it was $10. I found Tessa some slim cut Gap jeans in her size for $1, too. You can get useful, practical items for pennies on the dollar.
I'm running out of steam to write this, so I'll stop there. I write as much to remind myself as others....I am committed to this idea. I will not give up because I am determined to live a debt free life. Determined.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
New days
This morning I don't feel 100%, but I feel well enough. Good! Hopefully my side effects are gone permanently, or at least for another six months 'til I do Zometa again.
Ryan is off to Habitat for Humanity. My construction worker/save the world/live according to his values/motivated husband is sexy. :-) Tessa and I will stop by to visit him for lunch later today.
But first, we're prepping for a friend's birthday party, which is a tea party for a group of little girls. Tessa was choosing her outfit yesterday - her new Easter dress, a crown, and gloves. Oh how I adore being the mother to a six year old! In any case, right now Tessa is carefully making the birthday card, writing her message and decorating it with pinks and purples and putting smiley faces and flowers on every letter.
Today while Tessa is at the party, I'll do errands and attempt to catch up what I got behind with yesterday. This evening, Tessa gets a sleepover with her beloved Anna, and Ryan and I are going to a dinner party for Marisa - happy birthday Marisa! Tessa's thrilled about her sleepover, and Ryan and I are thrilled for our night out, too.
So we muddle along in our lives, trying to do that which we value, trying to soak up the moments, trying not to get caught up in the minutia, trying to do our best.
Love, Kristina
PS This merits its own post, but this week I am finding budgeting difficult, annoying, frustrating, and completely lacking in rewards. We overspent last week (on nothing interesting, for the record - there are no fancy electronics or anything to show!) and so this week we're super tight on the budget. I keep reminding myself that this is a CHOICE, that we are chosing to eliminate debt from our lives, that in this economy we are doing well, all things considered. Still, nobody said that budgeting was easy, and this week I think it stinks. I'm not feeling motivated, I'm feeling grumpy and cash strapped, and it isn't fun at all, and the long term goal seems too far away. I know we'll get through this hurdle....but in the here and now it's just a pain. So there.
Ryan is off to Habitat for Humanity. My construction worker/save the world/live according to his values/motivated husband is sexy. :-) Tessa and I will stop by to visit him for lunch later today.
But first, we're prepping for a friend's birthday party, which is a tea party for a group of little girls. Tessa was choosing her outfit yesterday - her new Easter dress, a crown, and gloves. Oh how I adore being the mother to a six year old! In any case, right now Tessa is carefully making the birthday card, writing her message and decorating it with pinks and purples and putting smiley faces and flowers on every letter.
Today while Tessa is at the party, I'll do errands and attempt to catch up what I got behind with yesterday. This evening, Tessa gets a sleepover with her beloved Anna, and Ryan and I are going to a dinner party for Marisa - happy birthday Marisa! Tessa's thrilled about her sleepover, and Ryan and I are thrilled for our night out, too.
So we muddle along in our lives, trying to do that which we value, trying to soak up the moments, trying not to get caught up in the minutia, trying to do our best.
Love, Kristina
PS This merits its own post, but this week I am finding budgeting difficult, annoying, frustrating, and completely lacking in rewards. We overspent last week (on nothing interesting, for the record - there are no fancy electronics or anything to show!) and so this week we're super tight on the budget. I keep reminding myself that this is a CHOICE, that we are chosing to eliminate debt from our lives, that in this economy we are doing well, all things considered. Still, nobody said that budgeting was easy, and this week I think it stinks. I'm not feeling motivated, I'm feeling grumpy and cash strapped, and it isn't fun at all, and the long term goal seems too far away. I know we'll get through this hurdle....but in the here and now it's just a pain. So there.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Side effects
I am officially feeling crummy.
I was doing okay until about 12:30, but I'm officially feeling gross.
A call in to a friend to pick up Tessa from school, and I'm crawling into bed.
Sigh.
I was doing okay until about 12:30, but I'm officially feeling gross.
A call in to a friend to pick up Tessa from school, and I'm crawling into bed.
Sigh.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Zometa
So I did it.
I got to the building and I started shaking. Getting an IV in a chemo ward is an unnerving thing to do - I don't care how many times you've done it. When you're two chairs away from where you had anaphalactic shock due to a chemo drug, it's even more unnerving. Never mind that Zometa isn't chemo, that's not the point.
Everyone commented on my long hair.
Lori came with me to keep me sane. She brought chocolate and magazines, and she took excellent care of me.
The infusion was relatively short, and I survived it. Best of all, I only have to go back every six months.
I found out today that someone on my medical team that I care about deeply got breast cancer, too. It was caught early, and she's okay. But I'm mad. It's so unfair.
I feel some nausea tonight and I don't know if this is the beginning of Zometa side effects, or a psychosomatic effect, or what. I'm going to bed and hoping that the morning shows it to be psychosomatic....and gone.
I got to the building and I started shaking. Getting an IV in a chemo ward is an unnerving thing to do - I don't care how many times you've done it. When you're two chairs away from where you had anaphalactic shock due to a chemo drug, it's even more unnerving. Never mind that Zometa isn't chemo, that's not the point.
Everyone commented on my long hair.
Lori came with me to keep me sane. She brought chocolate and magazines, and she took excellent care of me.
The infusion was relatively short, and I survived it. Best of all, I only have to go back every six months.
I found out today that someone on my medical team that I care about deeply got breast cancer, too. It was caught early, and she's okay. But I'm mad. It's so unfair.
I feel some nausea tonight and I don't know if this is the beginning of Zometa side effects, or a psychosomatic effect, or what. I'm going to bed and hoping that the morning shows it to be psychosomatic....and gone.
Z day
Today I'm returning to the oncology ward to visit Dr. Rinn for my regular check up, and to get a new drug, the bisphosphonate Zometa.
Zometa helps with osteoporosis (it's a bone-building drug) and has the added benefit of cutting risk of recurrence, including mets, by about one third. When that news came out, I knew Zometa would be my next line of defense.
But I have to go back to that building, the one with the sad memories. I have to give my arm to a needle, I have to sit in that familiar chair. It's not the kind of walk down memory lane that people dream of.
What's more, there is a relatively common side effect for the first couple of infusions; often people get "flu like symptoms" (that is how they are described) for 24-72 hours after the infusion. Blech. I have many plans this weekend, and the flu is not part of them.
I will need to do some serious meditation to get through this. Better than that, though, is that Lori is coming with me to distract me. She's a dear friend and she'll be of good help with that. I'm also having PT with Adrienne today (I'm being an obedient little patient and catching up with all of my overdue medical stuff - I even sat in the dentist's chair for several hours this week) and while the PT isn't as fun as I'd like (scar tissue blah blah blah) the visit with Adrienne is good for my soul.
So I'm trying to acknowledge the hard times, focus on the positive, and balance it all out. Today, that feels like quite a challenge.
Zometa helps with osteoporosis (it's a bone-building drug) and has the added benefit of cutting risk of recurrence, including mets, by about one third. When that news came out, I knew Zometa would be my next line of defense.
But I have to go back to that building, the one with the sad memories. I have to give my arm to a needle, I have to sit in that familiar chair. It's not the kind of walk down memory lane that people dream of.
What's more, there is a relatively common side effect for the first couple of infusions; often people get "flu like symptoms" (that is how they are described) for 24-72 hours after the infusion. Blech. I have many plans this weekend, and the flu is not part of them.
I will need to do some serious meditation to get through this. Better than that, though, is that Lori is coming with me to distract me. She's a dear friend and she'll be of good help with that. I'm also having PT with Adrienne today (I'm being an obedient little patient and catching up with all of my overdue medical stuff - I even sat in the dentist's chair for several hours this week) and while the PT isn't as fun as I'd like (scar tissue blah blah blah) the visit with Adrienne is good for my soul.
So I'm trying to acknowledge the hard times, focus on the positive, and balance it all out. Today, that feels like quite a challenge.
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