Trailblazing

I exchanged email with my oncologist. I told her about my side effects when going off Aromasin, including increased fatigue and skin break-outs. I asked if I was getting an estrogen surge that was causing this, and when it would get better. Her response? Mostly, people don't have side effects when quitting this drug. I'm blazing a new trail on this one. She said that she wasn't surprised by my side effects, but that they weren't standard. She still thinks I'll feel much better in a month or two.

My face looks like I'm going through adolescence because of the acne, and menopause because of the wrinkles and age spot. Good grief. Still, it's the fatigue that gets me the most.

And I have to confess that the longer it goes on the harder it is to talk myself off the ceiling. Maybe it's a sign that the beast is back? Never mind that fatigue is not usually a symptom of cancer, it still scares me. This is part of the cancer game - no matter how far out from diagnosis I get, these questions whisper around the edges of my mind. It's not as bad as when I was first diagnosed, when the whispers were actually shouts and screams, but it takes up a lot of my energy just to keep those voices soft and not allow them to take over. Generally, I can talk myself down, remind myself that my blood work and tumor markers look good, that I've done amazing amounts of treatment....but it's hard work.