Heartbreak

This morning I logged on to the cancer boards at YSC, and was hit twice.

"Mama Cathy" (so named because of her mothering of "us girls" and her nurturing spirit) is moving to hospice. The doctors believe that her time is not long, maybe weeks.

I'm not able to articulate clearly how sad this makes me feel. Cathy was diagnosed early stage, then diagnosed with mets, and now this.

And another woman, who has posted great drama in her personal life and jokingly calls herself the Lindsay Lohan of the YSC but has a heart of gold and reaches out to every newbie and gives hope and encouragement to many, is awaiting to hear if her elevated liver enzymes etc. are mets. She's experiencing full post traumatic stress disorder and isn't even able to post on the boards right now, but we girls are freaking out on her behalf because if there was good news we think she'd be posting. So much speculation, so much fear.

In my garden, the irises are starting to grow. Melinda, who died last year, loved irises, and everyone who was touched by her planted irises in her memory.

These are some of my favorite cancer girls. Please pray for them. And please pray that I will find peace somewhere in all this, remembering that they are not me, and that their fate may not be my own.