trying to see

I'm still trying to figure out what my new world looks like. I'm not the me I was before. Of course I'm still me, but I'm not. See? Confusing.

I woke up with a whopping headache and grabbed an Oxycodone. The headache is a bit of a dull thing behind my eyes now, and I've been able to listen to Tessa play the piano without wincing, despite its loudness.

(The piano was a recent gift from my grandma, "G.G.," who has moved to a smaller home and didn't want to take it with her. I LOVE IT. I love it's place in my home, and I love that my daughter will grow up playing it. I love the way it looks, I love the way it sounds, and I love the way it draws children. I love that it reminds me that one day when I have a little extra time and money, I will take piano lessons for myself. And I love that when I see it, I think of my grandma, and how we understand each other, and how much I love her.)

I made a big breakfast - we used to go out for breakfast a lot but part of calorie watching and money watching means not doing that so much, so this time I made it. Bacon and eggs...not light on the calories, but still better than a resturant because no hash browns, 100% whole wheat toast, cage free eggs, hormone free meat. And sides of fruit (gifts from Katie, who did a grocery store run for us), including perfectly ripe pears. Ryan helped prep, and did the clean-up. Tessa poured the milk. It's a family morning.

And we've been listening to music (not just the piano, but CDs) and reading the paper. Tessa's been happily playing, having fun.

We didn't go to church because Tessa is too sniffly and coughing to be in a room with lots of kids; I don't appreciate it when other kids give her colds, so we're trying not to do that to others. We are going to go to the coffee shop, though, where we will keep a close eye on her.

Taking it slow.