Three left

The title of this post makes me think back to chemo and radiation, when I was counting down. For chemo, the starting number was 16, for radiation it was 33, and, if my calculations are correct, I am counting down from 43 for Herceptin. If I've counted accurately, then I've completed 40 Herceptin appointments.

44 times going to the treatment center (40 Herceptin plus the 4 chemos that came before I started Herceptin) for a drug that is infused through an IV. Forty-four times being poked with a needle and receiving an IV, either through the port or through my arm. Forty-four times hearing the stories of other patients. Forty-four times having to squash the fear that rises in my throat; forty-four times having to remind myself that I'm okay that it's not me that I'm doingeverythingIcan and reminding myself, if possible, not to hyperventilate. I've been successful so far with keeping my emotions relatively controlled; I do not fight the nurses, I do not cry, I do not refuse to go.

For some reason, as I approach the end of my Herceptin treatment, it's getting harder for me each time I go to the treatment center. No side effects from Herceptin that I am aware of, and my veins complied this time, and life is good....but still, Cancerland is Cancerland.

Off to better things today...!