I did not sleep last night.
Why, why, why?
Today I'm in my bathrobe and a wreck from the lack of sleep.
Tonight will be better, right?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Day tripping
Today's day trip was a short one - just up the road to the U-District. The Hisatomis joined us, and together we ate a fabulous but cheap Mexican meal at a funky place (Agua Verde), then walked up to the quad to see the incredible cherry trees in blossom. The quad was filled with college students, but also many families like ours out to enjoy the achitecture and blossoms. The kids climbed trees, the dogs sniffed around and made new friends, and a good time was had by all. We walked to Drumheller Fountain to enjoy the views, and the kids got an added bonus: feeding the ducks and geese. Then, while the Hisatomis returned home, we headed up memory lane and drove Tessa by the first house that Ryan and I lived in together, in Wallingford, and then popped over to Fremont for a coffee.
Little days like this are the best. It's the simple things - being outdoors, being with friends, enjoying nature (even in the city), creating memories but also enjoying old memories. Ahhh.
This Friday Tessa is off school and we were going to go to Portland, but Mom & Dad's house is showing well and they don't need our help now. So, instead, we're going to head to Skagit Valley to enjoy daffodils or tulips or whatever else appears....we can wander through La Conner, have lunch at the Calico Cupboard or some new place. I would love to do more little day trips like this - some, within the city, like hanging out in Ballard or downtown.
We are loving spring. We've gotten some yard work done (a few hours of that yesterday and I'm still stiff), we're spending more time outdoors. I'm waiting for the dirt to settle a bit, but I've prepared three rows for planting. Soon we'll be getting garden veggies again. I even found some flowers starting on the strawberries as I was weeding, so strawberry season can't be too far away.
Another reason to love spring? Our congregation is about to get a new home of our very own - instead of renting space in the Masonic Lodge (no windows, folding chairs, no proper classrooms) we will have a real, honest-to-goodness sanctuary, classrooms, natural light. I can't wait! Our church is an important part of our family culture, and I'm so grateful to have found it. Will this be the place Tessa chooses to get married? Time will tell!
Speaking of church, I've got a Religious Education Council meeting tonight...gotta go!
Little days like this are the best. It's the simple things - being outdoors, being with friends, enjoying nature (even in the city), creating memories but also enjoying old memories. Ahhh.
This Friday Tessa is off school and we were going to go to Portland, but Mom & Dad's house is showing well and they don't need our help now. So, instead, we're going to head to Skagit Valley to enjoy daffodils or tulips or whatever else appears....we can wander through La Conner, have lunch at the Calico Cupboard or some new place. I would love to do more little day trips like this - some, within the city, like hanging out in Ballard or downtown.
We are loving spring. We've gotten some yard work done (a few hours of that yesterday and I'm still stiff), we're spending more time outdoors. I'm waiting for the dirt to settle a bit, but I've prepared three rows for planting. Soon we'll be getting garden veggies again. I even found some flowers starting on the strawberries as I was weeding, so strawberry season can't be too far away.
Another reason to love spring? Our congregation is about to get a new home of our very own - instead of renting space in the Masonic Lodge (no windows, folding chairs, no proper classrooms) we will have a real, honest-to-goodness sanctuary, classrooms, natural light. I can't wait! Our church is an important part of our family culture, and I'm so grateful to have found it. Will this be the place Tessa chooses to get married? Time will tell!
Speaking of church, I've got a Religious Education Council meeting tonight...gotta go!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Frugality
This blog wanders like it is lost, but I am still working on my efforts toward frugality. Simple abundance and frugality - they seem like opposing forces (abundance and frugality?) but frugality is about being simple, so perhaps they're not so opposed after all.
We have been Craigslisting items, which a) gets them out of our house, and b) brings in some cash. We switched from an espresso machine to the little stovetop espresso pot like everyone in Europe seems to have, and yesterday a nice person from Craigslist came and paid me $100 for the machine. We can still have espresso whenever we want - but it's one less pull on electricity (the espresso machine was always plgged in), one less large piece of clutter, and more money in hand. The machine had been sitting for about a year, so we certainly won't miss it.
We are eating a lot more vegetarian meals. Last night I made black beans and rice, Mexican style with onions, chilis, tomatoes, served with a squeeze of lime, a sprinkling of cheddar cheese, and avocado slices. Tessa would still prefer a cheeseburger every day of the week at every meal, but she actually ate everything I served with only a minimum of fuss (which is huge these days). Ryan is taking his lunch almost all the time, and often he takes leftovers (which I plan for when I cook), so that means he's eating more vegetarian at lunch, as well, instead of the fast food meals that I know he was having.
Part of my reason for more vegetarian meals is cost, and part is health, but another part is that it's more environmentally friendly. When I buy meat I'm trying to find sustainably raised, grass fed, pasture raised, free range (in the true sense of the word), hormone free, ethically slaughtered, etc. That comes at a price - a hefty one. I almost moan when I hear an ad for $1/pound hamburger, because I sometimes pay 5-6 times that much for the green version. To balance this with frugality, we just eat a lot less of it. Not only do we eat meat less frequently, but we also eat it in smaller quantities than we used to.
(Book note: I just finished "The Butcher and the Vegetarian" by Tara Austen Weaver. It discussed the ethical and environmental issues of meat by a once-vegetarian who is prescribed meat in her diet due to health issues. It's an interesting twist on the question of meat, and an easy read.)
Once again, we got free mulch delivered, with help from our friend Kathleen and a local tree service. It's high quality, rich material, and it will nourish our vegetables all summer. I'm never paying for mulch again. We're making our own compost, though it seems like we can use twice as much as we can produce. Vegetable scraps are used to either make stock (I keep a container in my freezer at all times now so that making stock is as simple as throwing it into a pot of water, adding onion and salt, and simmering) or compost in the worm bins, and I love the closed cycle that creates. Once again this summer we will be eating out of our garden. The blueberries and raspberries are starting to leaf, the rhubarb is coming up, the strawberries are waiting, and the herbs are starting to renew themselves. In the next few weeks I'll be planting early veggies like peas, leeks, spinach, chard, and the garden will be off and running. We're expanding the garden again this year, so our harvest will be even greater than before.
I am trying very, very hard to avoid packaged and processed foods. I still buy, not make, cheese; I haven't attempted my own crackers yet. But for most things, I'm working with whole foods that look the way that they grew. Tessa would probably prefer Ding-Dongs in her lunch (at her age, I did) but we're all adjusting. I am making all of my own bread (and getting rid of the bread machine!), cereal, and three meals a day. It's tiring but worth it, I think.
The library is one of my closest friends. I'm on their website every couple of weeks, placing holds on all kinds of books. I do look forward to buying books again, but right now, while I really care about frugality, this is a great back-up plan. It's one thing to stop buying books, altogehter another to stop reading them!
We haven't used paper towels in at least a year, maybe more. I keep one roll on hand for things like vomit (arghhhh!) but that roll lasts a whole year. I keep a basket of rags with the cleaning supplies, and they work great. Whenever something gets stained beyond wear, I cut it up and it goes into the rag bin. I don't miss the paper towels a bit. Same is true for paper napkins - we still have a bunch from before we went all cloth, and I will use them very occassionally, but I don't even think about them any more. There is a big bin of them in the kitchen, and it works for us without a thought.
In the winter it's harder, but I'm still trying to walk many errands instead of driving - that's one great thing about living in West Seattle, I can walk to multiple grocery stores, a deli, coffee shops, pharmacies, toy store, thrift stores, clothing boutiques, etc. We've got to get Tessa more comfortable on her bike and then we can expand our range, too. (Although I haven't figured out Shep + bikes. I like to take him on my errand walks to get him exercise - how do I exercise him if we're on bikes?)
I'm still staying out of stores. Yesterday the Title Nine catalog (women's clothing, much of it athletic wear but also darling skirts and dresses) came and I drooled over it for far too long. I have canceled most catalogs for this reason: when I look at them, I start to crave things or think that what I have isnt' good enough. But when I stay out of stores, and stop looking at catalogs, I don't miss things at all. I have never been trendy - I like to htink of myself as more classic - so I don't need to buy a bunch of things every new season.
In short, I've come a long way. Still have a long way to go....but I've come a long way.
Time to wake up the girl. Fingers crossed that she's in a good mood this morning....
We have been Craigslisting items, which a) gets them out of our house, and b) brings in some cash. We switched from an espresso machine to the little stovetop espresso pot like everyone in Europe seems to have, and yesterday a nice person from Craigslist came and paid me $100 for the machine. We can still have espresso whenever we want - but it's one less pull on electricity (the espresso machine was always plgged in), one less large piece of clutter, and more money in hand. The machine had been sitting for about a year, so we certainly won't miss it.
We are eating a lot more vegetarian meals. Last night I made black beans and rice, Mexican style with onions, chilis, tomatoes, served with a squeeze of lime, a sprinkling of cheddar cheese, and avocado slices. Tessa would still prefer a cheeseburger every day of the week at every meal, but she actually ate everything I served with only a minimum of fuss (which is huge these days). Ryan is taking his lunch almost all the time, and often he takes leftovers (which I plan for when I cook), so that means he's eating more vegetarian at lunch, as well, instead of the fast food meals that I know he was having.
Part of my reason for more vegetarian meals is cost, and part is health, but another part is that it's more environmentally friendly. When I buy meat I'm trying to find sustainably raised, grass fed, pasture raised, free range (in the true sense of the word), hormone free, ethically slaughtered, etc. That comes at a price - a hefty one. I almost moan when I hear an ad for $1/pound hamburger, because I sometimes pay 5-6 times that much for the green version. To balance this with frugality, we just eat a lot less of it. Not only do we eat meat less frequently, but we also eat it in smaller quantities than we used to.
(Book note: I just finished "The Butcher and the Vegetarian" by Tara Austen Weaver. It discussed the ethical and environmental issues of meat by a once-vegetarian who is prescribed meat in her diet due to health issues. It's an interesting twist on the question of meat, and an easy read.)
Once again, we got free mulch delivered, with help from our friend Kathleen and a local tree service. It's high quality, rich material, and it will nourish our vegetables all summer. I'm never paying for mulch again. We're making our own compost, though it seems like we can use twice as much as we can produce. Vegetable scraps are used to either make stock (I keep a container in my freezer at all times now so that making stock is as simple as throwing it into a pot of water, adding onion and salt, and simmering) or compost in the worm bins, and I love the closed cycle that creates. Once again this summer we will be eating out of our garden. The blueberries and raspberries are starting to leaf, the rhubarb is coming up, the strawberries are waiting, and the herbs are starting to renew themselves. In the next few weeks I'll be planting early veggies like peas, leeks, spinach, chard, and the garden will be off and running. We're expanding the garden again this year, so our harvest will be even greater than before.
I am trying very, very hard to avoid packaged and processed foods. I still buy, not make, cheese; I haven't attempted my own crackers yet. But for most things, I'm working with whole foods that look the way that they grew. Tessa would probably prefer Ding-Dongs in her lunch (at her age, I did) but we're all adjusting. I am making all of my own bread (and getting rid of the bread machine!), cereal, and three meals a day. It's tiring but worth it, I think.
The library is one of my closest friends. I'm on their website every couple of weeks, placing holds on all kinds of books. I do look forward to buying books again, but right now, while I really care about frugality, this is a great back-up plan. It's one thing to stop buying books, altogehter another to stop reading them!
We haven't used paper towels in at least a year, maybe more. I keep one roll on hand for things like vomit (arghhhh!) but that roll lasts a whole year. I keep a basket of rags with the cleaning supplies, and they work great. Whenever something gets stained beyond wear, I cut it up and it goes into the rag bin. I don't miss the paper towels a bit. Same is true for paper napkins - we still have a bunch from before we went all cloth, and I will use them very occassionally, but I don't even think about them any more. There is a big bin of them in the kitchen, and it works for us without a thought.
In the winter it's harder, but I'm still trying to walk many errands instead of driving - that's one great thing about living in West Seattle, I can walk to multiple grocery stores, a deli, coffee shops, pharmacies, toy store, thrift stores, clothing boutiques, etc. We've got to get Tessa more comfortable on her bike and then we can expand our range, too. (Although I haven't figured out Shep + bikes. I like to take him on my errand walks to get him exercise - how do I exercise him if we're on bikes?)
I'm still staying out of stores. Yesterday the Title Nine catalog (women's clothing, much of it athletic wear but also darling skirts and dresses) came and I drooled over it for far too long. I have canceled most catalogs for this reason: when I look at them, I start to crave things or think that what I have isnt' good enough. But when I stay out of stores, and stop looking at catalogs, I don't miss things at all. I have never been trendy - I like to htink of myself as more classic - so I don't need to buy a bunch of things every new season.
In short, I've come a long way. Still have a long way to go....but I've come a long way.
Time to wake up the girl. Fingers crossed that she's in a good mood this morning....
Thursday, March 11, 2010
More little pleasures
Today: yoga (in my basement), followed by a lunch of apples with peanut butter and carrots with lemony hummus.
Ahhhh.
Ahhhh.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
More things I love
My last post made me feel good, so I'm adding to it. Remembering what I love, remembering what makes me smile, remembering what is good in the world - what's not to love about that?
Now, let it be said before I begin: the things that I love most are not things. I love my husband, daughter, family, friends, dog, cat, health. I love clean air, fresh water. I do know what is important, and I'm not trying to trivilize that just because I'm taking about smaller things. Small things are good, too, and that's what I'm thinking about today.
Okay, disclaimer over. Here's today's random list:
I love:
- the colors cobalt blue and turquoise (sometimes together, not always)
- oriental rugs
- desks with cubby holes for storing things
- hand knit afghans
- Tessa's naked baby photo
- hearing the Dalai Llama speak (or reading his works)
- the tree mural in Tessa's room
- the Coast Salish carved orca that hangs in the living room
- eating fresh from the garden
- home made bread
- days when I get to stay in my pajamas for as long as I want
- hot coffee
- hot tea
- the smell of my yard after it rains
- hand made baskets
- the smell of baking lemon bread or cake
- sitting with a friend in the middle of the day to just talk
- full bookcases
- the way the sun comes through the stained-glass door in the mornings
- watching birds in the bird feeder while we eat breakfast
- smooth pebbles, especially beach washed pure black or white ones
- freshly painted rooms
- the color of my bedroom - I find it so soothing
- empty kitchen counters (maybe just one bowl of fruit on them)
- my teapot from Grandpa
- setting a table when people are joining us for dinner
- silver serving trays
- fresh flowers in a vase, just plunked in, not arranged. bonus points for growing them myself.
- sitting down at a clear desk to write a letter
- curling up with a good book in a comfortable chair. bonus points for adding a cup of tea and a hand knit afghan
- my black leather boots - the flat ones, because they are comfortable and stylish and warm
- dangly earrings
- wearing my hair long
- picnics with wicker baskets and plaid blankets
- beachcombing
- long bubble baths by candlelight. bonus points for a good book and a glass of wine.
- snowshoeing
- hiking up to Talapus Lake
- the Olympus Day Spa (aka "the naked spa")
- the texture of Tessa's hair, and the color of her natural highlights
- home cooked meals made by a friend
- eavesdropping on Tessa and her friends
Ahhhhh. Writing that put me into my happy place.
Now, let it be said before I begin: the things that I love most are not things. I love my husband, daughter, family, friends, dog, cat, health. I love clean air, fresh water. I do know what is important, and I'm not trying to trivilize that just because I'm taking about smaller things. Small things are good, too, and that's what I'm thinking about today.
Okay, disclaimer over. Here's today's random list:
I love:
- the colors cobalt blue and turquoise (sometimes together, not always)
- oriental rugs
- desks with cubby holes for storing things
- hand knit afghans
- Tessa's naked baby photo
- hearing the Dalai Llama speak (or reading his works)
- the tree mural in Tessa's room
- the Coast Salish carved orca that hangs in the living room
- eating fresh from the garden
- home made bread
- days when I get to stay in my pajamas for as long as I want
- hot coffee
- hot tea
- the smell of my yard after it rains
- hand made baskets
- the smell of baking lemon bread or cake
- sitting with a friend in the middle of the day to just talk
- full bookcases
- the way the sun comes through the stained-glass door in the mornings
- watching birds in the bird feeder while we eat breakfast
- smooth pebbles, especially beach washed pure black or white ones
- freshly painted rooms
- the color of my bedroom - I find it so soothing
- empty kitchen counters (maybe just one bowl of fruit on them)
- my teapot from Grandpa
- setting a table when people are joining us for dinner
- silver serving trays
- fresh flowers in a vase, just plunked in, not arranged. bonus points for growing them myself.
- sitting down at a clear desk to write a letter
- curling up with a good book in a comfortable chair. bonus points for adding a cup of tea and a hand knit afghan
- my black leather boots - the flat ones, because they are comfortable and stylish and warm
- dangly earrings
- wearing my hair long
- picnics with wicker baskets and plaid blankets
- beachcombing
- long bubble baths by candlelight. bonus points for a good book and a glass of wine.
- snowshoeing
- hiking up to Talapus Lake
- the Olympus Day Spa (aka "the naked spa")
- the texture of Tessa's hair, and the color of her natural highlights
- home cooked meals made by a friend
- eavesdropping on Tessa and her friends
Ahhhhh. Writing that put me into my happy place.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Things I love
Simple abundance doesn't mean getting rid of everything. Here are some things that I love:
- Lots of pillows on my bed
- An assortment of china tea cups and tea pots (yes, I use them)
- stainless steel pots and pans
- crystal vases that catch the light
- beeswax candles (yes I burn them)
- pretty table linens
- books, books, books
- heavy kitchen bowls
- serving ware with an Italian twist, lots of cobalt blue
- cashmere sweaters
- my Great Aunt Helen's Limoge china with the pink and lavendar roses, even though I only use it once a year
- warm throw blankets, especially those made by hand
- purses in just about every size, shape, and color
What do you love?
- Lots of pillows on my bed
- An assortment of china tea cups and tea pots (yes, I use them)
- stainless steel pots and pans
- crystal vases that catch the light
- beeswax candles (yes I burn them)
- pretty table linens
- books, books, books
- heavy kitchen bowls
- serving ware with an Italian twist, lots of cobalt blue
- cashmere sweaters
- my Great Aunt Helen's Limoge china with the pink and lavendar roses, even though I only use it once a year
- warm throw blankets, especially those made by hand
- purses in just about every size, shape, and color
What do you love?
Simple Abundance
I've been reading a book by the title of "Simple Abundance" and I've been thinking a lot about the topic. I want a simple abundance in my life: enough, but not too much. Laughter galore, good books, music, friends, wine, quiet, flowers, comfort, beauty. I want to live in the present, loving what I have, even when I'm working for the future.
I want to be surrounded in beauty, but I don't want to live in a museum or on the pages of a catalog. I want to be content with what I have, but still know how to dream and to plan.
How does one go about making her home filled with simple abundance? Not the trappings of a modern consumerist life like in the glossy pages that are before us all the time; not what Martha Stewart or HGTV tells us, but a comfortable home where people love to visit. A place of serenity, safety, comfort, and beauty. A place marked by individuality.
Today, I'm spring cleaning. After helping my in-laws to spring clean their home in preparation for sale this weekend, I came home filled with resolve to do the same things in my own life. When Ryan and I watch "Designed to Sell" we always laugh at the simple changes that people make that they should have made years ago to make their home more livable; I'm working on that myself today. But it's more than that: it's the philosophy of being present, of knowing how much is enough and how much is too much. It's being able to separate memorabilia that brings joy, and the things that just add clutter. I'm not moving any time soon (I hope not, anyway) but the practices that people go through before a move are probably good for all of us. Ryan and I have lived here for nine years, and the house that once seemed palatial is now filled to the rafters with stuff.
I suffer from the same consumerism that impacts us all. Right now I want a new dining room table (ours is starting to sag), a remodeled attic and kitchen and basement, and clothes with feminine ruffles on them. And a new trenchcoat in a color that pops. There is always a list of books or music to buy or have.
These same things might be things I don't want in a year, or in ten, and so I'm trying to examine my impulses more closely. I don't need anything. I don't need much stuff, and we have so much.
I don't want stuff. I want beautiful, useful objects that please me and truly simplify my life. I want it for the joy of it, but I also want it to be sustainable and green for this earth. I want our possessions to contribute to the ease of our lives, but not to rule us.
So, as I'm going through overflowing closets and drawers and extra rooms, the question I ask is: What is enough? What is the difference between abundance and excess?
I'd love a discussion on this, with some practical numbers thrown in. How many of each should we have at any time?
- magazines
- books
- CDs
- toys
- baskets
- sets of sheets
- sets of towels
- extra blankets
- vases
- office supplies
- clothing per person
- shoes per person
- kitchen tools
- other.....
I'd love to see others thoughts. What is simple abundance, and what is excess? Where is the balance between simplicity and abundance?
I believe that when my physical space is in order, my life feels more in order - and my head, too. I'm working on all of it right now.
----------------------------------------
Many thanks to my beloved in-laws for allowing us to share in their process this weekend as they sort through a lifetime of home furnishings and mementos before they downsize to the "land cruise" of the pretty retirement place they've picked out. I know it's not easy to choose which memories to take and which to leave behind, but I hope that when I am in their shoes I will handle it with as much grace and good humor. I am grateful to them for allowing me to whirl through their home, poking my nose into the corners to help them, because though I do it as a service I imagine it must be invasive, too. It is an honor to be entrusted with the joy of helping to care for them. Mom and Dad Surface, I love you. I hope you're relaxing after the whirlwind of your family swirled through your home this weekend.
I want to be surrounded in beauty, but I don't want to live in a museum or on the pages of a catalog. I want to be content with what I have, but still know how to dream and to plan.
How does one go about making her home filled with simple abundance? Not the trappings of a modern consumerist life like in the glossy pages that are before us all the time; not what Martha Stewart or HGTV tells us, but a comfortable home where people love to visit. A place of serenity, safety, comfort, and beauty. A place marked by individuality.
Today, I'm spring cleaning. After helping my in-laws to spring clean their home in preparation for sale this weekend, I came home filled with resolve to do the same things in my own life. When Ryan and I watch "Designed to Sell" we always laugh at the simple changes that people make that they should have made years ago to make their home more livable; I'm working on that myself today. But it's more than that: it's the philosophy of being present, of knowing how much is enough and how much is too much. It's being able to separate memorabilia that brings joy, and the things that just add clutter. I'm not moving any time soon (I hope not, anyway) but the practices that people go through before a move are probably good for all of us. Ryan and I have lived here for nine years, and the house that once seemed palatial is now filled to the rafters with stuff.
I suffer from the same consumerism that impacts us all. Right now I want a new dining room table (ours is starting to sag), a remodeled attic and kitchen and basement, and clothes with feminine ruffles on them. And a new trenchcoat in a color that pops. There is always a list of books or music to buy or have.
These same things might be things I don't want in a year, or in ten, and so I'm trying to examine my impulses more closely. I don't need anything. I don't need much stuff, and we have so much.
I don't want stuff. I want beautiful, useful objects that please me and truly simplify my life. I want it for the joy of it, but I also want it to be sustainable and green for this earth. I want our possessions to contribute to the ease of our lives, but not to rule us.
So, as I'm going through overflowing closets and drawers and extra rooms, the question I ask is: What is enough? What is the difference between abundance and excess?
I'd love a discussion on this, with some practical numbers thrown in. How many of each should we have at any time?
- magazines
- books
- CDs
- toys
- baskets
- sets of sheets
- sets of towels
- extra blankets
- vases
- office supplies
- clothing per person
- shoes per person
- kitchen tools
- other.....
I'd love to see others thoughts. What is simple abundance, and what is excess? Where is the balance between simplicity and abundance?
I believe that when my physical space is in order, my life feels more in order - and my head, too. I'm working on all of it right now.
----------------------------------------
Many thanks to my beloved in-laws for allowing us to share in their process this weekend as they sort through a lifetime of home furnishings and mementos before they downsize to the "land cruise" of the pretty retirement place they've picked out. I know it's not easy to choose which memories to take and which to leave behind, but I hope that when I am in their shoes I will handle it with as much grace and good humor. I am grateful to them for allowing me to whirl through their home, poking my nose into the corners to help them, because though I do it as a service I imagine it must be invasive, too. It is an honor to be entrusted with the joy of helping to care for them. Mom and Dad Surface, I love you. I hope you're relaxing after the whirlwind of your family swirled through your home this weekend.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
prom pics
80's prom was absolutely hysterical, and we had such a good time with our friends. It turns out that I still can't make my hair tall - it just doesn't grow that way, but I did make it curly. I should have taken a close up picture of my purple, blue, and teal eyeshadow, too.
Ryan wore a pink carnation boutinniere, and I wore a pink rose corsage.
Ahhhh, the 80s. Fun to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
PS I always wanted a Gunne Sax dress. Now, I finally got one. Only about 25 years too late...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Reading List
I'm currently looking at books entitled "Your 7 Year Old," "Easy to love, difficult to discipline," "Seven Secrets of Spiritual Parenting" "Raising you Only Child" and others. I'm just about done with "Parenting with Love and Logic" and "Positive Discipline" (again).
I really wish Tessa would read these books because she loves to prove them wrong!
Tessa is an amazing, wonderful daughter, and I would never choose anyone else. I love her like I love air - I don't think I could survive without her. But the challenges - wow.
We've got boundaries and routines; we've got love galore (and express that love all the time).
She will come to it; I will figure it out. Together, we will get through this phase.
I hear that eight year olds are fabulous...but I'm not goign to hit the fast forward button, even if I can find it.
On an up note? She did her homework last night with a minimum of protest. PHEW.
I really wish Tessa would read these books because she loves to prove them wrong!
Tessa is an amazing, wonderful daughter, and I would never choose anyone else. I love her like I love air - I don't think I could survive without her. But the challenges - wow.
We've got boundaries and routines; we've got love galore (and express that love all the time).
She will come to it; I will figure it out. Together, we will get through this phase.
I hear that eight year olds are fabulous...but I'm not goign to hit the fast forward button, even if I can find it.
On an up note? She did her homework last night with a minimum of protest. PHEW.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Better
This morning I woke up and said, "Screw it. I want to have my life today." So I hauled myself out of bed and just went for it.
This afternoon, I feel tired, and I think that's a leftover from the Zometa, but I'm much more myself.
I went for a (short) run with Shep this morning, sans iPod, to clear my head. I've scrubbed my bathroom, including the dreaded tub. (I used baking soda and water. Remarkable how well it works - and no nasty chemicals to breathe or wash down the drain.) I made a crock pot meal (pork marakesh - it's got red onions, ginger, apricots, and thyme....hope it's good) for dinner that is simmering away.
I have about a zillion more things to do, but that is okay. At least I don't feel like hiding today, which I did the past two days.
This afternoon, I feel tired, and I think that's a leftover from the Zometa, but I'm much more myself.
I went for a (short) run with Shep this morning, sans iPod, to clear my head. I've scrubbed my bathroom, including the dreaded tub. (I used baking soda and water. Remarkable how well it works - and no nasty chemicals to breathe or wash down the drain.) I made a crock pot meal (pork marakesh - it's got red onions, ginger, apricots, and thyme....hope it's good) for dinner that is simmering away.
I have about a zillion more things to do, but that is okay. At least I don't feel like hiding today, which I did the past two days.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
It messes with my head
Today I'm taking it slow. I feel much better than yesterday, but I don't think I can explain just how hard it is for me to go to the cancer center. It's going to take a while to catch my breath.
So, a quiet day at home. Chores to be done....but I just need the quiet.
So, a quiet day at home. Chores to be done....but I just need the quiet.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Zometa blues
Being in the building at the cancer institute really makes me feel ill. The smell of the alcohol wipes that they use to wipe the tubing for the IVs is what really brings me back - ugh.
I swear my blood pressure was through the roof the whole time, but I survived it.
And tonight? Headachy and impatient and feeling blue. I can't separate out what is the physical, and what is the psychological, I just know that I feel horrid.
Tomorrow will be better.
Still proud of myself for making dinner and cleaning the house and changing the sheets this morning before my appointment....
I swear my blood pressure was through the roof the whole time, but I survived it.
And tonight? Headachy and impatient and feeling blue. I can't separate out what is the physical, and what is the psychological, I just know that I feel horrid.
Tomorrow will be better.
Still proud of myself for making dinner and cleaning the house and changing the sheets this morning before my appointment....
Zometa
Today is my infusion of Zometa at the chemo center. An hour of drip, drip, drip into an IV, plus usually an extra hour of waiting around, bloodwork, getting poked, saline, and the like.
Zometa has caused "flu like symptoms" (quoting from their side effects sheets) the last couple of times, so I have prepared dinner in the crock pot and set the table so that if I feel lousy afterwards I will be that far ahead and the family won't starve. (The up side: the house is filled with the warm smells of onions, chicken, and garam masala.)
I'm bringing my iPod, my journal, and a book.
All will be well. But I don't have to like it.
Today's gratitude list:
- It's "just" Zometa, not chemo.
- I'm healthy.
- It's gorgeous outside.
- I'm healthy.
- Zometa might keep me healthy.
On a side note, I now have just one year of tamoxifen left on the schedule - I'll be done in February 2011. I wonder what I'll feel like without it?
Zometa has caused "flu like symptoms" (quoting from their side effects sheets) the last couple of times, so I have prepared dinner in the crock pot and set the table so that if I feel lousy afterwards I will be that far ahead and the family won't starve. (The up side: the house is filled with the warm smells of onions, chicken, and garam masala.)
I'm bringing my iPod, my journal, and a book.
All will be well. But I don't have to like it.
Today's gratitude list:
- It's "just" Zometa, not chemo.
- I'm healthy.
- It's gorgeous outside.
- I'm healthy.
- Zometa might keep me healthy.
On a side note, I now have just one year of tamoxifen left on the schedule - I'll be done in February 2011. I wonder what I'll feel like without it?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day!
First, a follow up on my uncle's health...
He's home! My mom called to speak to my Aunt Rene and Uncle Mel picked up the phone. My mom said she just about fell off her chair. Uncle Mel is the Comeback Kid - he has completely overcome the odds and returned to health in a way that nobody predicted. So - happy Valentine's Day to Rene and Mel....and many more to come! I am certain that this is a special day for you both, knowing that it nearly didn't come to pass together.
I had to reschedule my tea party for church in order to visit Mel, and I will do that soon.
Today is also my parents' 41st wedding anniversary - happy anniversary, Mum and Dad! Thank you for giving me a model to follow, as you've made it through easy times and hard times and never faltered in your love for one another. Every child should be so lucky.
And me? We had a nice day as a family - a really nice day. We opened with waffles ala Mama for breakfast, and Ryan and I laughed to discover we'd purchased each other the same gift (a particular box of chocolates). Ryan was ready for some down time after his busy day-and-back trip to Portland, so Tessa and I went to church (which was lovely as always). shopped at the farmer's market (note: eating seasonally has me beginning to crave spring - there is only so much I can do with squash and I feel like I'm turning into a squash/potato...) and came back. We packed up a simple picnic, loaded up and headed to Lowman Beach Park for a lovely time in the sunshine - hurrah! and just soaked up the fresh air. Then we went for the loop walk through the park, with Shep sniffing every dog he could reach from his leash, and all of us pausing for Tessa to play on the beach and on the monkey bars.
Now, we're home, and Tessa is creating a treasure hunt, Ryan is (unfortunately) fighting a headache, and I've got dinner prepped. I had some extra milk and got the idea to make my Grandpa Goddard's recipe for rice pudding, which is simmering as I type. There was a sale on lobster tails at Thriftway, and Tessa and Ryan's eyes popped when I told them we'd dine on lobster! (For three of us, it was $20. Given that Ryan and I elected to not have a date for Valentine's, it's economical but luxurious.)
If every day were this simple, and this beautiful, for every person, the world would be a different place, I think.
Here's wishing you and yours a day filled with love, peace, and contentment.
He's home! My mom called to speak to my Aunt Rene and Uncle Mel picked up the phone. My mom said she just about fell off her chair. Uncle Mel is the Comeback Kid - he has completely overcome the odds and returned to health in a way that nobody predicted. So - happy Valentine's Day to Rene and Mel....and many more to come! I am certain that this is a special day for you both, knowing that it nearly didn't come to pass together.
I had to reschedule my tea party for church in order to visit Mel, and I will do that soon.
Today is also my parents' 41st wedding anniversary - happy anniversary, Mum and Dad! Thank you for giving me a model to follow, as you've made it through easy times and hard times and never faltered in your love for one another. Every child should be so lucky.
And me? We had a nice day as a family - a really nice day. We opened with waffles ala Mama for breakfast, and Ryan and I laughed to discover we'd purchased each other the same gift (a particular box of chocolates). Ryan was ready for some down time after his busy day-and-back trip to Portland, so Tessa and I went to church (which was lovely as always). shopped at the farmer's market (note: eating seasonally has me beginning to crave spring - there is only so much I can do with squash and I feel like I'm turning into a squash/potato...) and came back. We packed up a simple picnic, loaded up and headed to Lowman Beach Park for a lovely time in the sunshine - hurrah! and just soaked up the fresh air. Then we went for the loop walk through the park, with Shep sniffing every dog he could reach from his leash, and all of us pausing for Tessa to play on the beach and on the monkey bars.
Now, we're home, and Tessa is creating a treasure hunt, Ryan is (unfortunately) fighting a headache, and I've got dinner prepped. I had some extra milk and got the idea to make my Grandpa Goddard's recipe for rice pudding, which is simmering as I type. There was a sale on lobster tails at Thriftway, and Tessa and Ryan's eyes popped when I told them we'd dine on lobster! (For three of us, it was $20. Given that Ryan and I elected to not have a date for Valentine's, it's economical but luxurious.)
If every day were this simple, and this beautiful, for every person, the world would be a different place, I think.
Here's wishing you and yours a day filled with love, peace, and contentment.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Parenting advice?
I have just spent over an hour combing the library website for new resources for parenting Tessa. I have placed holds on books in the following categories:
- parenting only children
- parenting strong willed children
- seven year olds and their development
- discipline strategies for children
- how to keep cool when kids are driving (you) insane
I am a fan of the Positive Discipline series, and I've got Love & Logic on my bedside table.
Do you have favorite parenting resources? Websites, books, and the like?
When my current strategies fail, it's time to go to the library. Friends, anything to add?
Disclaimer: I am anti spanking, and that is my bias. I am comfortable with that position and not looking to change it.
- parenting only children
- parenting strong willed children
- seven year olds and their development
- discipline strategies for children
- how to keep cool when kids are driving (you) insane
I am a fan of the Positive Discipline series, and I've got Love & Logic on my bedside table.
Do you have favorite parenting resources? Websites, books, and the like?
When my current strategies fail, it's time to go to the library. Friends, anything to add?
Disclaimer: I am anti spanking, and that is my bias. I am comfortable with that position and not looking to change it.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Homework Drama
Tessa forgot to bring her homework home last night.
I told her that we could go into school early so that she could do it. We got our carpool in early, and we went into the classroom, and tracked down her forgotten folder. I read her the instructions, showed her the example, and set her to work.
Questions. Complaining. Distractions. Talking to students coming in and out of the classroom.
The bell rings. No surprise - it's not done.
The school consequence for not doing homework is missing recess.
Tessa starts to cry, to cling to me, to say, "Talk to Ms. H! Tell her I tried!" I gently but firmly said, "No, you need to tell her. I did what I could to help you, but if you didn't get it done, that is something you need to tell her." More crying. Then, the punch:
"It's all your fault!" What?! "You didn't help me!"
Ms. H heard this and was NOT impressed. Tessa was sobbing and clinging to me and Ms. H just said, "Tessa, I'm counting to five and you'd better be at your desk." She got to 4 before Tessa let go, and I left the classroom.
Exhausted.
Ms. H told me that I should let Tessa fail - if she doesn't do her homework, she does not get to come in early to do it. Okay, lesson learned. She seemed peeved with me for offering that as a choice for Tessa.
I feel like a D- parent right now.
Deep breaths.
I have moved Tessa's homework station into her bedroom; previously, she was doing it at the kitchen table so that I could be there with her. Me being with her is NOT an advantage, it seems: she has to do it on her own so that she is not tempted to ask me simple words that she already knows. She's got a beautiful desk, right under a window, with a drawer full of pencils and sharpeners and the like. She needs to do her work independently - maybe this will help?
I also created a homework contract with a list of responsibilities for parents and Tessa:
---------------------
Parents:
1. Will set aside time each day for homework.
2. Will make sure you have the right tools (pencils, papers, etc.) for homework
3. Will help you to read the instructions and answer questions about the instructions prior to beginning homework.
4. Will review homework when it is completed to help you with anything you struggled with.
Tessa:
1. Will bring home homework each day that it is assigned.
2. Will do homework independently.
3. Will finish homework promptly.
4. Will bring homework back to school and turn it in.
5. Will work with Ms. Hils if she does not understand how to do the homework.
6. Will miss recess if she does not turn in the homework or does not complete it in a prompt manner.
-----------------------------
I created room for all three of our signatures, and tonight after dinner we'll go over it as a family.
I thought we'd been through all of this about 1000 times, but it is the first time I put it in writing. Will that make a difference? We will see.
Tessa thinks that I am somehow responsible for her success or failure. I am determined to be the best parent I can for her, to nurture her, but not to coddle her.
Parenting is hard! Homework is absolutely wearing me out. I thought we'd be having these battles in middle school....but apparently we're having them now.
I am determined to get this working. Determined.
P.S. Last night during her reading time Tessa read four chapters of "Mercy Watson" on her own, asking only for help with words like "absolutely" and doing the rest on her own. Why is she struggling with homework if she can read this well? I think it's discipline, not ability, or I'd feel much less frustrated. I don't care if Tessa is getting it "right," only that she works hard, and that is where she is failing.
I told her that we could go into school early so that she could do it. We got our carpool in early, and we went into the classroom, and tracked down her forgotten folder. I read her the instructions, showed her the example, and set her to work.
Questions. Complaining. Distractions. Talking to students coming in and out of the classroom.
The bell rings. No surprise - it's not done.
The school consequence for not doing homework is missing recess.
Tessa starts to cry, to cling to me, to say, "Talk to Ms. H! Tell her I tried!" I gently but firmly said, "No, you need to tell her. I did what I could to help you, but if you didn't get it done, that is something you need to tell her." More crying. Then, the punch:
"It's all your fault!" What?! "You didn't help me!"
Ms. H heard this and was NOT impressed. Tessa was sobbing and clinging to me and Ms. H just said, "Tessa, I'm counting to five and you'd better be at your desk." She got to 4 before Tessa let go, and I left the classroom.
Exhausted.
Ms. H told me that I should let Tessa fail - if she doesn't do her homework, she does not get to come in early to do it. Okay, lesson learned. She seemed peeved with me for offering that as a choice for Tessa.
I feel like a D- parent right now.
Deep breaths.
I have moved Tessa's homework station into her bedroom; previously, she was doing it at the kitchen table so that I could be there with her. Me being with her is NOT an advantage, it seems: she has to do it on her own so that she is not tempted to ask me simple words that she already knows. She's got a beautiful desk, right under a window, with a drawer full of pencils and sharpeners and the like. She needs to do her work independently - maybe this will help?
I also created a homework contract with a list of responsibilities for parents and Tessa:
---------------------
Parents:
1. Will set aside time each day for homework.
2. Will make sure you have the right tools (pencils, papers, etc.) for homework
3. Will help you to read the instructions and answer questions about the instructions prior to beginning homework.
4. Will review homework when it is completed to help you with anything you struggled with.
Tessa:
1. Will bring home homework each day that it is assigned.
2. Will do homework independently.
3. Will finish homework promptly.
4. Will bring homework back to school and turn it in.
5. Will work with Ms. Hils if she does not understand how to do the homework.
6. Will miss recess if she does not turn in the homework or does not complete it in a prompt manner.
-----------------------------
I created room for all three of our signatures, and tonight after dinner we'll go over it as a family.
I thought we'd been through all of this about 1000 times, but it is the first time I put it in writing. Will that make a difference? We will see.
Tessa thinks that I am somehow responsible for her success or failure. I am determined to be the best parent I can for her, to nurture her, but not to coddle her.
Parenting is hard! Homework is absolutely wearing me out. I thought we'd be having these battles in middle school....but apparently we're having them now.
I am determined to get this working. Determined.
P.S. Last night during her reading time Tessa read four chapters of "Mercy Watson" on her own, asking only for help with words like "absolutely" and doing the rest on her own. Why is she struggling with homework if she can read this well? I think it's discipline, not ability, or I'd feel much less frustrated. I don't care if Tessa is getting it "right," only that she works hard, and that is where she is failing.
Monday, February 08, 2010
This new plan is working!
I picked up Tessa from jump rope club, and talked to her about Valentine's day, and how I had the materials to make her cards all ready. She said, "But Mommy, I have to do my homework first." Yes, that is what we had agreed on....but I didn't even have to prompt her. HURRAH!
Edited to add: she has slowed down. WAY down. Will never finish at this rate.
Well, you win some, you lose some. It's still progress. At least she's not complaining!
Edited to add: she has slowed down. WAY down. Will never finish at this rate.
Well, you win some, you lose some. It's still progress. At least she's not complaining!
Behavioral improvements
Since I whined and kvetched about Tessa, I should certainly state the good as well...
Yesterday, even though we had houseguests, and Tessa was distracted, she did her homework in reasonable time and without asking fifty million questions that she already knew the answers to. (I don't mind answering homework questions, I mind her trying to trick me into doing the whole thing for her.) We are really working hard to get her back on the right path, and with some success.
We have a ways to go, but the improvements make me happy. She's a wonderful girl, and I'm proud of her, and I know that this is just a bump in the road. (A tiring bump!)
Yesterday, even though we had houseguests, and Tessa was distracted, she did her homework in reasonable time and without asking fifty million questions that she already knew the answers to. (I don't mind answering homework questions, I mind her trying to trick me into doing the whole thing for her.) We are really working hard to get her back on the right path, and with some success.
We have a ways to go, but the improvements make me happy. She's a wonderful girl, and I'm proud of her, and I know that this is just a bump in the road. (A tiring bump!)
Thank goodness it's Monday
When I was on Facebook, I would see various people counting down until the weekend; a common sentiment, and one I usually agree with. However, this weekend I was completely overbooked with a thousand different things, big and small, and I could barely find time to breathe.
On Sunday, the most important commitment was to go and visit my Uncle Mel in the ICU in Vancouver, B.C. (Canada). He was on a ventilator, in a medically induced coma, and when we got there he looked terrible; it was very sad. The docs made the decision to remove the ventilator to see if he could now breathe on his own (because a ventilator greatly increases the risk of infection), and while they performed this procedure we couldn't be there so we went to lunch. When we got back, he was on an oxygen mask, but upright in bed! I squeezed his hand and told him that I loved him and he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I love you too."
The rest of the weekend was a blur. Good things, but by Sunday afternoon I felt like jello only weepier. I had to cancel the last engagement of the weekend (sending Ryan and Tessa in my stead) and laid on the couch, regrouping.
And now, 'tis Monday, and a new chance to get things right. Laundry going, vacuuming completed, breakfast dishes cleaned up, and I'm sitting down to plan my week. This week, I'm going to be less hectic - that is action item number one.
(An aside: five years ago I could have handled the chaos without blinking. It makes me sadder than I can express that "normal" busyness can wipe me out so much.)
On Sunday, the most important commitment was to go and visit my Uncle Mel in the ICU in Vancouver, B.C. (Canada). He was on a ventilator, in a medically induced coma, and when we got there he looked terrible; it was very sad. The docs made the decision to remove the ventilator to see if he could now breathe on his own (because a ventilator greatly increases the risk of infection), and while they performed this procedure we couldn't be there so we went to lunch. When we got back, he was on an oxygen mask, but upright in bed! I squeezed his hand and told him that I loved him and he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I love you too."
The rest of the weekend was a blur. Good things, but by Sunday afternoon I felt like jello only weepier. I had to cancel the last engagement of the weekend (sending Ryan and Tessa in my stead) and laid on the couch, regrouping.
And now, 'tis Monday, and a new chance to get things right. Laundry going, vacuuming completed, breakfast dishes cleaned up, and I'm sitting down to plan my week. This week, I'm going to be less hectic - that is action item number one.
(An aside: five years ago I could have handled the chaos without blinking. It makes me sadder than I can express that "normal" busyness can wipe me out so much.)
Friday, February 05, 2010
Action
I was helping my friend Jill with the Haiti penny drive she set up for Alki elementary, and she told me that she just felt good from taking action. I agree.
I'm trying to take action in my own life. Helping with raising money for Haiti or helping in my community, for sure, but also closer to home. Working on getting Tessa back on track behaviorly, cooking healthy meals, budgeting (and not just writing the numbers down but living by them), and the like.
Yesterday I even went running. (Ouch!)
It can be so difficult to get started, sometimes, but I am sure that it's worth it.
Action is the antidote to despair. - Joan Baez
I'm trying to take action in my own life. Helping with raising money for Haiti or helping in my community, for sure, but also closer to home. Working on getting Tessa back on track behaviorly, cooking healthy meals, budgeting (and not just writing the numbers down but living by them), and the like.
Yesterday I even went running. (Ouch!)
It can be so difficult to get started, sometimes, but I am sure that it's worth it.
Action is the antidote to despair. - Joan Baez
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